TJ’s Household Haiku – Earth and Whirlwind

You know the drill.  2 Words, haiku, go!

You know the drill.  2 Words, haiku, go!

Thanks to TJ and his fab prompts!


 

She feels the earth move

Lost in passion sweet embrace

Whirlwind, take cover!

 

Obvious wasn’t it.

 

Whirlwind one night stand

Symptoms indicate it’s crabs

right back down to earth

 

I know, uncalled for.  

 

You reap the whirlwind

Emilio Estevez rocks!

Best western on earth

 

You never saw that coming though did you.  Emilio Estevez in a haiku :).  Can you name the western?


More shenanigans?

Blanketed in bliss

Fatties in space – The Poem. Not for kiddies

Charlie’s Journey – OWPC Challenge

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After Dark Haiku – 24/9/2017

Lets see whether a daily haiku works shall we?

Each night, around midnight a haiku based on things close to my heart.

Donald hates protest

Loves to Grab the headlines, and

your wife’s vagina

I imagine this will be the pretty poor standard, so don’t get your hopes up.


Want to read something different?  These are all quite funny I think.

More tea vicar ? 

Colleen’s Weekly #Poetry Challenge No. 49 #Haiku #Tanka #Haibun: Soar & Wait

Screw you, one and all.

Screw you haiku volume…6?

More haiku, and today I will be using the phrase “Dead hobo doorway”

 

The haiku, so proud, tight, formal. So little saying so much.  Mostly though I like to defile them with the ridiculous.

 

The snap of the glove

Not completely unpleasant

Prostate checked out fine

 

Left his phone unlocked

Wife browses the internet

Sweating profusely

 

Waves crash like thunder

grey skies, cold waters, time flies

Makes me need a wee

 

Red dress and pale skin

Heads turn, hearts race, open mouthed

Wardrobe malfunction

 

Cold blue winter skies

Crisp snow covers city streets

Dead hobo doorway


More stuff from my brain meat…

Charlie’s Journey – OWPC Challenge

Deep and insightfully insightfulnessness

I tried to say goodbye.

 

These simply aren’t my fault.

I blame the United Nations for the quality of these haiku…

So sat at lunch Tuesday 19th of September and I thought I would scribble a few haiku, as one does.  Unfortunately on the TV behind me is Donald Trump at the UN and my intention to write of nature and butterflies and waterfalls and all manner of gorgeous natural wonderment ended up as what you read below.  I’m not even American so not sure why I care, perhaps it is because he is so vile.  Anyway, lesson learned is that your environment can have a huge impact on what you are able to write.

I then spent much of the rest of the day swearing at inanimate objects.


Donald at the UN

Flapping gums and tiny hands

Blah blah blah blah blah

 

Cuddly Korean

With your nuclear arsenal

And your dog soufflé

 

Rancid politics

Women ought to be in charge

Men are such morons


That is all I managed before punching a kitten in the face and making a pregnant lady cry, so foul was my demeanour.


More stuff?

Charlie’s Journey – OWPC Challenge

My neighbour Ifraheem

Footprints – An AFA Challenge

 

Daily prompt – Thorny

Gift and Song – Colleen’s weekly poetry challenge

Here we go again.   I am going to be serious this week.  Feel my haiku!

Here we go again.   I am going to be serious this week.  Feel my haiku!  Thanks as ever to Colleen for her prompts.  Check her blog out out here.

This weeks words are Gift and Song.

 

Intoxicating, lost

in the heady gift of song

melting to her voice

 

or maybe

 

thanks, the gift of song

an itunes voucher from gran

My phone’s an android

 

And back to serious

 

Song bird, gilded cage

Trapped, craving the blue expanse

I gift her freedom

 

Then back to silly, using Serenade instead of song

 

She smiles, crimson cheeks

He serenades from below

Dad’s Chamber pot thrown 

 

And one last Serious one

 

truly you’re a gift

you fill my heart with such song

My children my life

 

Ok ok one last silly one, for balance…

 

other worldly voice

Children crying dogs howling

clown under your bed

 

Think that’s quite enough for one  week…


More shenanigans?

More miserable and inappropriate limericks – Not for the kiddies

End of days #writephoto challenge

Badger and Fox


 

https://colleenchesebro.com/2017/09/19/colleens-weekly-poetry-challenge-no-51-haiku-tanka-haibun-gift-song/

Ronovans Weekly Haiku Challenge

Another week another Haiku challenge which I do rather enjoy.  this week the words to use are TOUCH and MISS.  I might try a few things.

Another week another Haiku challenge which I do rather enjoy.  this week the words to use are TOUCH and MISS.  I might try a few things.

How about a 3-5-3 haiku to start.

You left me

How I miss your touch

I hate you

Okay, now the good old 5-7-5. Perhaps a variation on the first.

 

How I miss your touch

Taliban cut your hands off

your hooks freak me out

 

Tanka perhaps, as a variation on the previous piece?

How I miss your touch

Taliban cut your hands off

your hooks freak me out

Up a bit, now left a bit

right there that’s it now scratch hard

 


https://ronovanwrites.com/2017/09/18/ronovanwrites-weekly-haiku-poetry-prompt-challenge-167-touchmiss/

Heart and Window – TJ’s household Haiku

Today I bring you not 1, but 3 mediocre haiku in response to TJ’s challenge.

Today I bring you not 1, but 3 mediocre haiku!

 

Brave window cleaner

Poor man, his heart in his mouth

Curtains left open

 

Oh heart, fickle friend

open window, thieves sneak in

ransacked and ruined

 

still my beating heart

eyes the windows on the soul

How I  love cliches


Fancy something else?

Abandoned – Daily prompt

We unlikely few – An Armitage tangent

You absolute tanka!

 

https://amaviedecoeurentier.wordpress.com/2017/09/09/tjs-household-haiku-13/

Colleen’s Weekly #Poetry Challenge No. 50 #Haiku #Tanka #Haibun: VOICE & WATCH

My weekly assault of the gentle art of Japanese poetry

This week i shall attempt a haiku, a tanka and a haibun.

 

New shiny smart watch

controlling it with my voice 

Looking  like a knob 

 

Not a bad start.  Now lets tanka it up shall we

New shiny smart watch

controlling it with my voice

the king of the geeks!

You know you’re not on Star Trek

Wife looking quite embarrassed

 

True story…

 

How about we go full haibun.  Well as best as I can muster.  Still working on this element.  Poem, Prose, Poem for this one.

New shiny smart watch

controlling it with his voice

the king of the geeks!

You know you’re not on Star Trek

Wife looking quite embarrassed

 

But proud he stands, connected.  One with his devices.  He is man and he is confident – legs akimbo with hands on hips waiting patiently for her to emerge from the changing rooms and to see him with renewed eyes.  He feels taller, chin up, eyes bright as lesser men scurry laden with bags disconnected and alone.  But not he, not today.   Today is his day, and tonight he will delight her because he is connected and he feels alive.

Candles, wine, music

Children fast asleep in bed

warm breath on her neck

“Bloody hell you’re scratching me,

now you’ve laddered my stockings!”

 

Well I guess its something…sorry Japan

 


Here you go …something different.

Playground – Daily prompt

Ichabod the first

Partner – Daily prompt

 


https://colleenchesebro.com/2017/09/12/colleens-weekly-poetry-challenge-no-50-haiku-tanka-haibun-voice-watch/


photo courtesy of Thorr_deichmann at pixabay

Screw You Haiku 11/9/17

A little light haiku relief…

Proof that haiku do not always have to be serious…

 

The life of the clown

by day bringing joy, by night

he’s under your bed

 

night time toilet trip

lights out, think I saw a clown

run back to bed scared

 

Long hair and tight jeans

he watches her walk and lusts

bugger, it’s a bloke!

 

hot tea before bed

up three times throughout the night

Damn old man’s bladder!

 

One drink after work

woke up in the back garden

bloody sambuca!

 


More stuff?  Ive tons and tons of stuff!

Jeffrey and Cho – FFFAW Challenge

Lion and Zebra – Daily Prompt – Hidden

Probing – a cautionary tale – Daily prompt

 

 

Colleen’s Weekly #Poetry Challenge No. 49 #Haiku #Tanka #Haibun: Soar & Wait

A couple of Haiku in response to Colleen’s weekly challenge

I think just a few haiku this week…

 

Eagles soar above

young chicks wait with hungry mouths

blood covered talons

 


Perhaps Ill try another with a different spelling…

 

Gall stones killing me

Sore?  it’s bloody agony

overweight you see

 


More?

More limericks about sad things

Haiku Challenge – Hope and Stay

The intergalactic language of tea – Daily Prompt

 


https://colleenchesebro.com/2017/09/05/colleens-weekly-poetry-challenge-no-49-haiku-tanka-haibun-soar-wait/

Hotel haiku

just a few thoughts before I start the day

Just a few thoughts on the hotel before we head out and see what the day has to hold.

   
Other peoples kids 

Drunkards bouncing down the hall

Flatulent neighbours 

   

Four people one room 

A night time cocophony 

Really need a nap 

     

Lying  in my bed 

Inches from another soul 

In another room 

   

Please shut your kids up 

Next time we go up market 

Tired and grumpy 

   
Right…im off for an ice cream and to dip my toes in the icy north sea.  I will let you know how it goes.

Screw you haiku – Volume 5

Just a few haiku, but no t so serious…

 

Dream guy, takes him home

so magnetic and charming

turns out hes married

 

Passion overwhelms

the neighbours call the police

curtains were open

 

married ten years

what happened to romance.  She:

close the bathroom door!

 

Chinese for dinner

kung po pork or king prawn foo?

all tastes same to me

 

I hate you haiku

syllables, five seven five

screw you I’m doing six

 

Day one of diet

Went for a massive curry

ill start tomorrow

 

 


 

want something different?

Even more limericks on sombre topics. Probably not for kids…

Faeries: The long winter

Armitage – Part 1


https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/magnetic/

Colleen’s Weekly Poetry Challenge #47: Shadow & Light

Be wary of strangers on the internet, just saying…

The rules of this challenge are pretty simple, create a Haiku, a Tanka or a Haibun on the subjects of Shadow and Light.  I  try these each week, let’s see how this week’s efforts turn out shall we.  I’m going to try be serious, honest.  I know they’re meant to be about nature and such but I do like to use them to try and tell a shortened story too.


Ill start with a haiku…

 

He craves her darkness

His light consumed by her will

Turns out shes a man

 

Hmm…not sure where that came from? Maybe some more detail added through the medium of a Tanka, pretty much a haiku with extra lines expressing my feelings on the first 5 lines.  But I don’t think its strictly a rule.

 

He craves her darkness

His light consumed by her will

Turns out shes a man

A Nigerian you say?

Cannot get his money back 

 

Ok, so as a story it’s evolving., I am not allowing myself the luxury of a rewrite, I’ll see where it all goes in the Haibun.  Never done one of these before and it’s late so might play loose with the rules a bit.

 

The endless click of the keyboard, day and night, reaching out with twinkling eyes and sweet smile.  Lonely hearts embraced and dreams force fed foul lies and rancid hope. Offers of that which is lost, never had or which remained unknown are his to freely give and without compassion he loves and lusts and smiles at family photos and brushes his hair from his face and tells you how shy she is.  A first thought with the sun, and good nights murmured into salty pillows bookend the time apart and the minutes until they will be together at last.  They are lines he has used many times over, but well worn and trusted they pull at heart strings and ignite passions satisfied in the night.

He craves her darkness

His light consumed by her will

Turns out shes a man

A Nigerian you say?

Cannot get his money back 

Cold beers, new clothes and food on the table, you are a good boy – you make your mother proud.  Each day is full of promise, each night opportunity presents itself ripe and ready to be plucked and devoured with sweet juice covered chins laughing.  Flights are costly, but can you put a price on love.

 

Well that all turned out a bit weird didn’t it.  Oh well, it is what it is.  Bed time!


There are some previous efforts here

Colleen’s Weekly #Poetry Challenge # 45 – #Tanka: Honey and Wine

Colleen’s Weekly #Poetry Challenge # 44 – #Haiku: HUNT & FIND

Screw you haiku Vol 4


https://colleenchesebro.com/2017/08/22/colleens-weekly-poetry-challenge-47-haiku-tanka-haibun-shadow-light/

Haiku Horizons prompt: “Taste”

A haiku challenge on the matter of “taste”

A few scribbles in response to the haiku challenge found at the link below.

https://haikuhorizons.wordpress.com/2017/08/20/haiku-horizons-prompt-taste/

 
Fighting with the wife

Me: “You’ve awful taste ! She:

“Yeah I married you!”

 
Lets try another…

 
Just a tiny taste

Maybe just one more mouth full 

whole cake devoured

 
And one last one

 
First stolen kisses

The taste of her lips on mine

Oh god a smoker

  

Fancy More?

Pesky butterflies – Weekly Weather Challenge: Hurricane

Badger and Fox

Ichabod the first

Screw you haiku Vol 4

Crude, infantile and fun to write.  Gotta be better than what’s going on in the world right?

Crude, infantile and fun to write.  Gotta be better than what’s going on in the world right?


Cannibals in love

“How do you feel about kids?”

“can’t eat a whole one”


First day of diet

Accidental carrot cake

I’ll start tomorrow


Spicy curry night

poppadoms and spicy dip

explosive repeats


miles from a toilet

buttocks clenched eyes watering

oh look a turtle!


having a fiddle

mood gone, discovered a lump

testicle lopped off


Want to read more of my stuff?  It’s not all like that promise…

A story about a girl

Some sci fi

and something for the kids


Https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/spicy/

Haiku Challenge – Hope and Stay

Ronovan’s weekly haiku challenge – Hope and Stay

Let’s start with a haiku or two shall shall we.  The rules do let me play with synonyms which I might explore too.


In my heart you’ll stay

you drift into the darkness

hope of afterlife

 

seems a bit serious..

walked her home tonight

Invited in for coffee

hope she lets me stay

 

another maybe

 

husband caught, hope lost

empty promises to change

if you let him stay

 

All very serious…maybe a Tanka

See Maurice eating

watch him gorge on cheese in bed

eats cake in the night

Where can he get new trousers

ones with the elastic waist

 

Hmmm….not really feeling it. 

 


These ones we kind of funny if you fancy more

 


https://ronovanwrites.com/2017/08/14/ronovanwrites-weekly-haiku-poetry-prompt-challenge-162-hopestay/

Colleen’s Weekly #Poetry Challenge # 45 – #Tanka: Honey and Wine

The challenge was to write a Tanka (effectively a haiku with two additional 7 lines tagged on) and include the words “Honey” and “Wine”.

TANKA

The challenge was to write a Tanka (effectively a haiku with two additional 7 lines tagged on) and include the words “Honey” and “Wine”.  I think the first 3 are meant to set the scene and the next two express how I feel about it.  Not really cracked that bit yet…

I found this one rather tricky.


Sweet honey goodness

runs slowly into my mouth

No diet today

My inner Pooh bear unleashed

Wine fuelled hunger satisfied


Let’s try another


 

Wine poured, candles lit

Honey, let’s go to bed

Whipped cream, Ice, hand cuffs

This is not like fifty shades

the bloody sheets are ruined


 

Let’s try a more serious one…

 


Summer sun shining

Sweet scent of honey suckle

Warm winds on soft skin

Wilful seduction like wine

Warming caress on my lips

 

Meh…

 

Maybe I will try something different next week 😊


Fancy something different?

 

this people find funny…

and this is quite sad

 

 

Screw you haiku vol 3

The point of these?  I cant remember to be honest, I think perhaps it’s turning into a defiling of the haiku form really.

Some days the best I can muster is a handful of rather poor and inappropriate haiku.  Today is one of those.

For volume 1 and volume 2 click on the clicky things.

The point of these?  I cant remember to be honest, I think perhaps it’s turning into a defiling of the haiku form really.


First day of diet

ate a whole box of meringues

maybe tomorrow


Bottle of vodka

turns out I’m not the batman

seems I cannot fly


Wakes up, strange bed, her

Face like a thick pool of sick

damn beer goggles


Kids used my toothbrush

scrubbed the toilet bowl with theirs

dysentery, oops.


Not sure about these

Off to research haiku verse

I’m sorry Japan


 

For something a little more pleasant you might possibly like this…

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/toothbrush/

Colleen’s Weekly #Poetry Challenge # 44 – #Haiku: HUNT & FIND

I’m going to give this Tanka lark a go, never done one of those before.  I might even do a few.  Think Haiku with a couple more 7 syllable lines tossed in for good measure.

I’m going to give this Tanka lark a go, never done one of those before.  I might even do a few.  Think Haiku with a couple more 7 syllable lines tossed in for good measure…


We hunt the dark skies

searching for a sign of life

but what if we find?

watching people lose their minds

religion out the window


Lurking somewhere safe

I hunt but I cannot find

somewhere forgotten

Has anyone seen my keys?

I’m already late for work!


Summer holiday

kids want to go in the pool

hunt for the factor 50

man boobs jiggling in the sun

cannot find my self esteem


 

Hmmm…not sure I’m cut out for serious endeavours such as this…you can read about my previous encounter with the traditional haiku here.

 


Look can you see mike

hunt everywhere for a wife

he finds a girlfriend

dates her and took her doggy

out to the park for a walk


 

Ohhhh…First 3 lines are meant to set the scene, last 2 express how It makes me feel.  Let’s try again.

 


Watch children growing

find their own path in this life

from boys to young men

Tidy your bloody bedroom

and take a shower you stink!


difficult to find

I hunt for my inner voice

must write a Tanka

maybe this isn’t for me 

think I’ll just go have breakfast

 


Picture courtesy of tombud @ pixabay.


https://colleenchesebro.com/2017/08/01/colleens-weekly-poetry-challenge-44-haiku-haibun-or-tanka-hunt-find/

 

 

 

Screw you Haiku

On Mondays I like to allow myself a little more freedom from the discipline of the more structured writing schedule that I have set for myself and simply do something stupid.

On Mondays I like to allow myself a little more freedom from the discipline of the more structured writing schedule that I have set for myself and do something different.  I normally like to dabble with a variety of fiction pieces but Not on Monday, oh no

The challenge of packing emotive imagery into 17 syllables is quite a test, which is perhaps why they seem so daunting and often so very serious.  A limerick on the other hand is quite the opposite, filled with such joy and whimsy.

Today I shall attempt to write some haiku that are not serious at all serious.


 

Hot spicy curry

Arse like a Japanese flag

oh no not again


 

In the house naked

Wife and kids on vacation

Beer for breakfast


 

Leaving work in shame

Stomach flu going around

Gambled on a fart


 

Wife screams in horror

Dogs humping in the garden

Cover children’s eyes


 

Loud knock at the door

Dancing in the house naked

Police “Close curtains!”


 

Want to read more of my stuff?

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/14/probing-a-cautionary-tale/

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/03/first-blog-post/

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/14/we-unlikely-few/