A Friday Limerick.

Friday! Result!


Once a devoted girfriend named Julie

Vowed to love her beau, madly and truly

But when out on the town

Knickers soon were pulled down

On the vodka quite wild and unruly.

A Thursday Limerick.

Not to everyone’s liking I am sure.

There once was a fellow called Jesus

Connoisseur of the finest of cheeses

“Bring some Brie” he’d insist

“I’ll make wine, we’ll get pissed”

Red, white, rose – whatever he pleases.

A Tuesday Limerick.

Wholly inappropriate for a Tuesday. Actually scratch that. perfectly suited for a Tuesday.

Christian couple in love, most appealing

Was desire but they fought it, prayed kneeling

Waited patient ’till wed

In Christ’s love took to bed

Balls so blue when he came, hit the ceiling.

Hey look another limerick

More than 600 limericks and first time I have used ‘front bum’.
Yeah I know, surprised me too.

Woman, goodstanding of the judiciary

had a front bum that smelled like a fishery

She would hand down decrees,

Judgements, consider pleas

But if upwind then that was true misery.


















Haiku perhaps?

Let’s continue the summer theme shall we. There are some sights out there to be seen for sure.

Soaring temperatures

drunk shirtless methodone tramps

all the girls bits out

Today I did actually see what appeared to be a shirtless methadone tramp.  I think he had maybe lost his shirt though or left it in a dumpster because it didn’t seem to be about his person.  Curiously he also had one trouser leg rolled up to the knee whilst he wore the other in the more traditional fashion.

How do I know he was on something?  Well I don’t and I might be super judgy but I think walking down the middle of the road whispering to himself whilst staring wildly at passers by was a bit of a give away.

Still, I’m sure it was lovely to feel the sun on his back as he seemed to be thoroughly enjoying the fine weather we are having.

On the matter of flesh well, you just head down to the market here and you’ll see what I am on about.  Whilst I am all for body positivity whatever your shape or size that doesn’t mean I support adults wearing childrens clothes to go and eat sausage rolls on a bench outside of the bookies.



Your lunchtime limerick 03/02/17

Inappropriate and just a bit…meh

There once was a chap who loved cake

so much so that for sponges he’d ache

for panache he would pine

for gateau most sublime

fell  in love with a lass who could bake


It’s saturday…not my best day for limericks.  

Want more stuff?  I have lots of stuff…

I don’t have a dog called Caper – Daily prompt

I tried to say goodbye.

You did what to my Gran!?!?


Image courtesy of  me