Your Tuesday limerick

It’s that time again

Once a virginal lassie from Bury

To her boyfriend she offered her cherry

“Damn wrong hole” she did cry

“You’re two inches too high!”

“Does it hurt?” he asked, she replied “Very!”




I had to do a wee but of research on this to get the imperial measurements as I am very much metric born and raised.   Oh and yes I know, position matters here in the general up and down of things. Look you’ll work it out I am sure…Now my browser needs clearing.  See the lengths I go to for your limericky pleasure!

A Tuesday Limerick.

Wholly inappropriate for a Tuesday. Actually scratch that. perfectly suited for a Tuesday.

Christian couple in love, most appealing

Was desire but they fought it, prayed kneeling

Waited patient ’till wed

In Christ’s love took to bed

Balls so blue when he came, hit the ceiling.

Hey look another limerick

More than 600 limericks and first time I have used ‘front bum’.
Yeah I know, surprised me too.

Woman, goodstanding of the judiciary

had a front bum that smelled like a fishery

She would hand down decrees,

Judgements, consider pleas

But if upwind then that was true misery.


















Haiku perhaps?

Let’s continue the summer theme shall we. There are some sights out there to be seen for sure.

Soaring temperatures

drunk shirtless methodone tramps

all the girls bits out

Today I did actually see what appeared to be a shirtless methadone tramp.  I think he had maybe lost his shirt though or left it in a dumpster because it didn’t seem to be about his person.  Curiously he also had one trouser leg rolled up to the knee whilst he wore the other in the more traditional fashion.

How do I know he was on something?  Well I don’t and I might be super judgy but I think walking down the middle of the road whispering to himself whilst staring wildly at passers by was a bit of a give away.

Still, I’m sure it was lovely to feel the sun on his back as he seemed to be thoroughly enjoying the fine weather we are having.

On the matter of flesh well, you just head down to the market here and you’ll see what I am on about.  Whilst I am all for body positivity whatever your shape or size that doesn’t mean I support adults wearing childrens clothes to go and eat sausage rolls on a bench outside of the bookies.