Tag: laughter

Once a virginal lassie from Bury

To her boyfriend she offered her cherry

“Damn wrong hole” she did cry

“You’re two inches too high!”

“Does it hurt?” he asked, she replied “Very!”

.

.

.

I had to do a wee but of research on this to get the imperial measurements as I am very much metric born and raised.   Oh and yes I know, position matters here in the general up and down of things. Look you’ll work it out I am sure…Now my browser needs clearing.  See the lengths I go to for your limericky pleasure!

A young cow hand alone on the range

Felt a stirring, peculiar and strange

Watched steers  evening till dawn

Loved their rumps, and the horn

Well lets just say that it made him deranged

Once this bloke I know works in a kitchen

Sausage got his aroused, he was itching

For a night of rough sex

But by morn was most vexed

As his anus was torn and needs stitching.

 

 

 

Woman, goodstanding of the judiciary

had a front bum that smelled like a fishery

She would hand down decrees,

Judgements, consider pleas

But if upwind then that was true misery.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh you poor thing I hear your unwell

seems it’s oozing and starting to smell

round the edge it’s gone crusty

and at night seems quite musty

and your girlfriend she has it as well

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Once a shepherd who loved his wife dearly.

When she passed,  took the loss quite severley

As he tended his flock

they reacted with shock

he was lonely it seems, rather clearly

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Married fellow precautions foregoing

red light district,  wild oats he was sewing

now he’s crusty and oozy

caught siph off of a floozy

which he gave to his wife without knowing

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Once a couple in love but most chaste

He to her: “Love my seeds gone to waste

I wake up in the night

sticky mess, PJ’s tight

god won’t mind if you have just a taste”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Once a vicar, a spiritual leader

Like plump ladies turned into a feeder

feeds them sausage and pies

for round bellies, thick thighs

massive bottom?  Oh he’d really need her

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Master baker with quite tasty wares

rather handsome the ladies would stare

as his buns were most round

and his baguette profound

his iced finger was extraordinaire

 

 

 

 

 

A young couple quite clearly in love

truly blessed loved the good lord above

then he watched too much porn

now her anus is torn

and looks awfully like a foxglove

 

 

 

 

 

An industrious hobo from Kent

had no home, not a box nor a tent

sold his bottom for cash

round his mouth, nasty rash

on cheap liquor his takings were spent