Your Tuesday limerick

It’s that time again

Once a virginal lassie from Bury

To her boyfriend she offered her cherry

“Damn wrong hole” she did cry

“You’re two inches too high!”

“Does it hurt?” he asked, she replied “Very!”

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I had to do a wee but of research on this to get the imperial measurements as I am very much metric born and raised.   Oh and yes I know, position matters here in the general up and down of things. Look you’ll work it out I am sure…Now my browser needs clearing.  See the lengths I go to for your limericky pleasure!

Hey look another limerick

More than 600 limericks and first time I have used ‘front bum’.
Yeah I know, surprised me too.

Woman, goodstanding of the judiciary

had a front bum that smelled like a fishery

She would hand down decrees,

Judgements, consider pleas

But if upwind then that was true misery.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Haiku

Just a normal haiku. Makes me feel a little dirty to be honest with you.

Rains turn autmn rust

and withering falll from bough

under foot to die


 

Oh I really don’t know about that.  I even had to google ‘bough’.  I mean I had to sit and consider the beauty of nature, how it made me feel, what emotions it evokes.  That’s a lot of effort.

Far easier just rhyming Cock, sock and rock for a dirty limerick I reckon.

 

 

 

January’s Gifs. All rather rude.

Theyre out there embeddded in my bits and pieces…

I’ve rather enjoyed doing some of these this month.  Okay so stand alone these might look odd but I promise that in context they make perfect sense.

 

Screw you haiku

Screw you Haiku. Dirty Bastard.

Another Dirty Friday Limerick.

Oh him again. In limerick form.

 

 

 

Oh look a haiku. No, actually dont.

I promise I wont do more of these…

Gym kit malfunction

who’d ever have imagined

hidden in small shorts

 


I know I am a grown man and that I should know better.  I know I can produce things of a more edifying nature.  I know should be a better example to my children and generally a better human being but alas I am not.

Look what dad made boys!  Don’t tell mum!

gymwillu.gif