Tag: poetry

Late Night Limerick – Get well soon

You might want to get it looked at

Oh poor lamb heard you’ve got gonorrhoea

And the symptoms they seem quite severe

Now it burns when you piss

You’d not bargained on this

When you paid for that hooker, oh dear

Some rather rude limericks.

Three for the price of one. A truly filthy bargain.

Okay…three for the price of one today…There was a young fellow from China
Met this lass with a massive vagina
he would rattle inside
she would say “It’s so wide,
try my butt hole, you wont find one finer”For every vagina based limerick I feel it should be balanced out with a penis based one. Just for good measure.A well endowed fellow called Scott
has a dick he could tie in a knot
animals he could make,
dogs, swords, flowers or snake
some girls found it incredibly hotAnd one more for good measure…lad I know, poor thing – anus quite wrecked
he hit forty so prostate got checked
turned out loved it so much
craved it poked, drilled and touched
far more pleasure that one might expect

Some utter filth…a reminder of just why. And how. meh…

Somethign from the archives

If you’ve read me for any length of time you know I love limericks. Why? Because they’re such whimsical fun.

Mostly they just kind of appear in my head you know, without much effort. I will think of a theme, find a couple of words that rhyme and they just magically appear. Or maybe I have a start or an end line that makes me chuckle and I take it from there.

Now, there are a lot of limericks I do not write that rattle around brain. Some are just awfully filthy and/or just go too far in terms of good taste and seem rather crass. The English language is somewhat to blame too, because how am I supposed to not think of the obvious when suck, luck and fuck all rhyme.

You try not to write a limerick about Donald trump having his bottom fiddled with when famous and anus also go perfectly well together. it is not an easy thing and I am a weak man. Mostly I like to write those ones on public lavatory walls or teach them to other people’s young children.

Alas I must though have some sort of filter because whilst I don’t mind offending people it should never be done just for the sake of offence.
Anyway, here are a few of the starting or ending lines from some of them them – feel free to perhaps make up your own using them.

Some starts
A well endowed teacher called Rick
An uncle quite fond of incest
A woman with breasts double D
A preacher man down on his luck
There once was a woman quite fussy

and how about a few endings…
and exploded all over her face
and a penis the size of a marrow
and collapsed into bed with her dad
and a clitoris the size of a grape
and removing a shoe from his anus

Enjoy