High class hooker, quite skilled called Bianca
Lawyers, doctors, occasional banker
She would tempt and then tease them
with her bounties she’d please ’em
Gave her Pearl necklaces just to thank her
Limerick. Monday. Done.
No need to thank me.
Tag: nasty
A Limerick. Because it’s…actually I have no idea what day it is…
Ooh Brian you dirty, dirty little imp…
A virginal fellow called Brian
To get laid, he was tryin’ and tryin’
Efforts all came to nought
Then “eureka!”, a thought
Now each week, big boobed hooker’s he’s buyin’
Another Lockdown Limerick
One about sexy shaped vegetables…
A purveyor of veg called Anette
Who in lockdown saw veg and got wet
Courgette, egg plant and marrow
Carrots thick, long or narrow
Got her hot, cucumber so made her sweat
A Limerick. For whatever day it actually is…
Just a little something for you.
An amorous lad, Jeff from Devon
Met a girl and he promised her heaven
Fraught with amorous sighs
Reached aroused twixt her things
Turns out not quite a Kate, but a Kevin
A Limerick. On a Sunday. It is Sunday right?
February had 29 days, March 200 and April has 625. I have no idea what day or month it is to be honest…
This poor lad I know, self isolated
Spent his days watching porn, masturbated
Till his bits were quite raw
And his arms were real sore
And his balls were all red and inflated
A Limerick.
…About Gender reassignment
A broad shouldered young fellow called Fred
“Bod’s a male, I’m female in my head”
He quite firmly asserted
Has his penis inverted
Keeps his balls in a jar near his bed
A limerick for the start of October
A thing about someone and a thing. Mostly.
A bored fellow from near the equator
Rubbed his cock with a rusty cheese grater
Not sure what he expected
But it blead, now infected
likely to drop off sooner or later
A Limerick.
A broad shouldered lady called Brenda
Big old hands, hairy arms, legs quite slender
Wispy beard and top lip
Quite full breast, curvy hip
Size 12 feet, hard to classify gender
The limericks I don’t usually publish
Move along, nothing to see and certainly not for kids.
For every limerick I write there is usually another I discard because it is inappropriate, childish, vulgar, twisted or just not the sort of things I would want my kids to stumble upon.
Today I will publish a few because I am in the sort of mood, and it’s the weekend and what are weekends for if not inappropriate limericks. I had something of a request for more erotic asphyxiation stuff earlier this week. I know I know, but there’s no accounting for the tastes of people.
A conservative preacher, John Stead
Man of god but quite kinky in bed
by the cleaner discovered
bound, naked and buggered
Purple faced, plastic bag on his head
A plumber from Goole well endowed
love to take off his clothes in a crowd
and the ladies he’d please
as it hung to his knees
hand on hips, legs akimbo, so proud
A vicar from Grimsby most hated
spent a celibate life most frustrated
unless you count the young boys
who he used as his toys
’till they caught him and now hes castrated
Something more pleasant?
Ooh look at me being all topical!
Fences – FFfAW Challenge – 11th of July
photo courtesy of hypnoart at pixabay
