A Limerick. On a Sunday. It is Sunday right?

February had 29 days, March 200 and April has 625. I have no idea what day or month it is to be honest…

This poor lad I know, self isolated

Spent his days watching porn, masturbated

Till his bits were quite raw

And his arms were real sore

And his balls were all red and inflated

The limericks I don’t usually publish

Move along, nothing to see and certainly not for kids.

For every limerick I write there is usually another I discard because it is inappropriate, childish, vulgar, twisted or just not the sort of things I would want my kids to stumble upon.

Today I will publish a few because I am in the sort of mood, and it’s the weekend and what are weekends for if not inappropriate limericks.  I had something of a request for more erotic asphyxiation stuff earlier this week.  I know I know, but there’s no accounting for the tastes of people.  

 

A conservative preacher, John Stead

Man of god but quite kinky in bed

by the cleaner discovered

bound, naked and buggered

Purple faced, plastic bag on his head

 

A plumber from Goole well endowed

love to take off his clothes in a crowd

and the ladies he’d please

as it hung to his knees

hand on hips, legs akimbo, so proud

 

A vicar from Grimsby most hated

spent a celibate life most frustrated

unless you count the young boys

who he used as his toys

’till they caught him and now hes castrated

 


Something more pleasant?

Ooh look at me being all topical!

Faeries: The long winter

Fences – FFfAW Challenge – 11th of July

 


photo courtesy of hypnoart at pixabay