Tag: nasty

A perverse math’matician of note

to work out his cock volume, he wrote

“Times the length by the girth”

He reported with mirth

And then published with pics and did gloat.

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Okay so I know that isn’t the calculation for working out the volume of one’s manhood. But no way am I googling that on the laptop the kids use from time to time. What sort of monster do you think I am.

Anyway, everyone knows you multiply the smallest radius of oval (minor axis) by its largest radius (major axis). Just not easy to get that into a limerick.

Though I did once read that it should be calculated using socks as a measure of volume. Ankle, sports, knee high. You get the general idea. Actually I once knew a chap who was an eye watering European size 12 Knee high. But that’s another limerick completely.

Happy Thursday !

High class hooker, quite skilled called Bianca

Lawyers, doctors, occasional banker

She would tempt and then tease them

with her bounties she’d please ’em

Gave her Pearl necklaces just to thank her

A virginal fellow called Brian

To get laid, he was tryin’ and tryin’

Efforts all came to nought

Then “eureka!”, a thought

Now each week, big boobed hooker’s he’s buyin’

An amorous lad, Jeff from Devon

Met a girl and he promised her heaven

Fraught with amorous sighs

Reached aroused twixt her things

Turns out not quite a Kate, but a Kevin

This poor lad I know, self isolated

Spent his days watching porn, masturbated

Till his bits were quite raw

And his arms were real sore

And his balls were all red and inflated

A broad shouldered young fellow called Fred

“Bod’s a male, I’m female in my head”

He quite firmly asserted

Has his penis inverted

Keeps his balls in a jar near his bed

A broad shouldered lady called Brenda
Big old hands, hairy arms, legs quite slender
Wispy beard and top lip
Quite full breast, curvy hip
Size 12 feet, hard to classify gender