An amorous lad, Jeff from Devon
Met a girl and he promised her heaven
Fraught with amorous sighs
Reached aroused twixt her things
Turns out not quite a Kate, but a Kevin
A Limerick. For whatever day it actually is…
Just a little something for you.
Tag: inappropriate
Another Limerick?
Go on, treat yourself.
Married chap with a thing for his gardener
Found his long garden hose quite the hardener
He would gaze at it’s girth
As it watered the earth
Made him wander and betray his partner
A Limerick. On a Sunday. It is Sunday right?
February had 29 days, March 200 and April has 625. I have no idea what day or month it is to be honest…
This poor lad I know, self isolated
Spent his days watching porn, masturbated
Till his bits were quite raw
And his arms were real sore
And his balls were all red and inflated
A Limerick.
…About Gender reassignment
A broad shouldered young fellow called Fred
“Bod’s a male, I’m female in my head”
He quite firmly asserted
Has his penis inverted
Keeps his balls in a jar near his bed
A Limerick.
A broad shouldered lady called Brenda
Big old hands, hairy arms, legs quite slender
Wispy beard and top lip
Quite full breast, curvy hip
Size 12 feet, hard to classify gender
Wednesday filthy limerick
The yin to my poetic yang…
Friend of mine met a lass from Bermuda
He pursued, flowers, food, woo’d and screwed her
But within ’bout a week
Realised, quite the freak,
As she cried, strap-on lubed, “Let’s get ruder!”
Surprise!! Yet another one of these
Don’t go acting all surprised.
A good friend of mine took her new lover
Off to bed only there to discover
He was epileptic, and thrashed
During sex, how she splashed
Up the walls, on the floor and bed cover.
Screw you haiku!
Damn you to hell
History dictates
No one can ever enjoy
A small black moustache
Haiku Tuesday Baby!
Better than being punched in the man boobs I suppose…
She with wonky boobs
and he with his wonky eyes,
true beauty beholds.
Look a haiku just for you.
Oh Im just keep on giving don’t I
Love wains, they try to
keeps it fresh in the bedroom
risky and risque
Haiku for you.
Because Im just the giving type
As time marches on
lifes toll shows in tired eyes
bodies grow weary
I shall persist with haiku
They’re mostly harmless
In suburbia
secrets abound and fester
until mardi gras
Another rubbish haiku?
Oh go on then
Stares at the mirror
Christmas excess took its toll
inhales and holds it
Yup another awful haiku for you .
Why not….
Proud of his conquest
though the darkness holds secrets
by day shame abounds
A haiku for you .
Don’t be that guy
The art of loving
often goes hand in hand with
the art of bathing
A haiku for you .
Don’t be that guy
Ageless, he parties
time passes by and alone
he ends drunken days
Each to their own I reckon
Let’s not be judgy now…
Works hard at the gym
buttocks toned and abs of steel
Yet secrets he holds
It’s like a haiku just not.
No need to thank me. No, really I realise there is just no need…
Oh sweet liberty
Gang banged by a Donald train.
Wall’s to keep you in.
Shall we? A filthy limerick perhaps?
All mostly inappropriate…Sorry. No really I am…Honest…
Once a christian chap from Uganda
caught a glimpse of gay porn, took a gander
soon large cocks he devoured
had his anus deflowered
And got Aids from a bloke in Rwanda
Haiku maybe?
All depends on how you say’desperate’ really…
Piss soaked Christmas socks
Desperate times call for the most
desperate of measures
A haiku just for you. Yes you.
No need to thank me.
Hot moment ruined
by poor personal hygiene.
Balls smell like tacos
Here, a haiku for you.
well it has a 5/7/5 syllable thing going on…
Thinks he still has it
mostly she is wondering
if she dropped a stitch
Limerick?
Just the one perhaps
Once a suave self confessed lady killer
met a lady boy when in manilla
soon the roles were reversed
penetrated he cursed
though he went back for more, such a thriller
Friday haiku anyone?
One day to go!
Counting down the days
November still, she rages
a long month ahead
Friday limerick.
Make Friday rhyme with Heidi, that’s how I speak.
Body builder, Chad, Monday to Friday
when the weekend came, big busty Heidi
he’d perform cabaret
with his cock tucked away
and a back, sack and crack to stay tidy
