Maybe someone out there needs to hear this. Maybe it’s you. Maybe youre a dirty little monkey indeed!
Hope this finds you somewhat on the mend
Hear it’s swollen quite close to the end
Feels like it may fall off
If you move fast or cough
And you near shit your pants when you bend
I like to think that one day it will come out that this is what’s on those secret Trump Tapes…
Trumpesque water sports fan, name of Trystin
Pretty mouth that he loved to have pissed in
Craved his balls to be squeezed
Nipples bit, clamped and teased
And on Tuesday’s a large handed fisting
One about a ladies cavernous front bum
A voluptuous temptress from Cuba
A vagina shaped quite like a tuba
And she would not delay
To allow you to play
Her, so wide was she, no need to lube her
Just work on the speed of that last line…it works I assure you .
Just a little something for you.
An amorous lad, Jeff from Devon
Met a girl and he promised her heaven
Fraught with amorous sighs
Reached aroused twixt her things
Turns out not quite a Kate, but a Kevin
Go on, treat yourself.
Married chap with a thing for his gardener
Found his long garden hose quite the hardener
He would gaze at it’s girth
As it watered the earth
Made him wander and betray his partner
February had 29 days, March 200 and April has 625. I have no idea what day or month it is to be honest…
This poor lad I know, self isolated
Spent his days watching porn, masturbated
Till his bits were quite raw
And his arms were real sore
And his balls were all red and inflated
…About Gender reassignment
A broad shouldered young fellow called Fred
“Bod’s a male, I’m female in my head”
He quite firmly asserted
Has his penis inverted
Keeps his balls in a jar near his bed
A broad shouldered lady called Brenda
Big old hands, hairy arms, legs quite slender
Wispy beard and top lip
Quite full breast, curvy hip
Size 12 feet, hard to classify gender
The yin to my poetic yang…
Friend of mine met a lass from Bermuda
He pursued, flowers, food, woo’d and screwed her
But within ’bout a week
Realised, quite the freak,
As she cried, strap-on lubed, “Let’s get ruder!”
Don’t go acting all surprised.
A good friend of mine took her new lover
Off to bed only there to discover
He was epileptic, and thrashed
During sex, how she splashed
Up the walls, on the floor and bed cover.
Damn you to hell
History dictates
No one can ever enjoy
A small black moustache
Better than being punched in the man boobs I suppose…
She with wonky boobs
and he with his wonky eyes,
true beauty beholds.
Oh Im just keep on giving don’t I
Love wains, they try to
keeps it fresh in the bedroom
risky and risque
Because Im just the giving type
As time marches on
lifes toll shows in tired eyes
bodies grow weary
They’re mostly harmless
In suburbia
secrets abound and fester
until mardi gras
Oh go on then
Stares at the mirror
Christmas excess took its toll
inhales and holds it
Why not….
Proud of his conquest
though the darkness holds secrets
by day shame abounds
Don’t be that guy
The art of loving
often goes hand in hand with
the art of bathing
Don’t be that guy
Ageless, he parties
time passes by and alone
he ends drunken days
Let’s not be judgy now…
Works hard at the gym
buttocks toned and abs of steel
Yet secrets he holds
No need to thank me. No, really I realise there is just no need…
Oh sweet liberty
Gang banged by a Donald train.
Wall’s to keep you in.
All mostly inappropriate…Sorry. No really I am…Honest…
Once a christian chap from Uganda
caught a glimpse of gay porn, took a gander
soon large cocks he devoured
had his anus deflowered
And got Aids from a bloke in Rwanda
All depends on how you say’desperate’ really…
Piss soaked Christmas socks
Desperate times call for the most
desperate of measures
No need to thank me.
Hot moment ruined
by poor personal hygiene.
Balls smell like tacos
well it has a 5/7/5 syllable thing going on…
Thinks he still has it
mostly she is wondering
if she dropped a stitch
