The yin to my poetic yang…
Friend of mine met a lass from Bermuda
He pursued, flowers, food, woo’d and screwed her
But within ’bout a week
Realised, quite the freak,
As she cried, strap-on lubed, “Let’s get ruder!”
Don’t go acting all surprised.
A good friend of mine took her new lover
Off to bed only there to discover
He was epileptic, and thrashed
During sex, how she splashed
Up the walls, on the floor and bed cover.
Damn you to hell
History dictates
No one can ever enjoy
A small black moustache
Better than being punched in the man boobs I suppose…
She with wonky boobs
and he with his wonky eyes,
true beauty beholds.
Oh Im just keep on giving don’t I
Love wains, they try to
keeps it fresh in the bedroom
risky and risque
Because Im just the giving type
As time marches on
lifes toll shows in tired eyes
bodies grow weary
They’re mostly harmless
In suburbia
secrets abound and fester
until mardi gras
Oh go on then
Stares at the mirror
Christmas excess took its toll
inhales and holds it
Why not….
Proud of his conquest
though the darkness holds secrets
by day shame abounds
Don’t be that guy
The art of loving
often goes hand in hand with
the art of bathing
Don’t be that guy
Ageless, he parties
time passes by and alone
he ends drunken days
Let’s not be judgy now…
Works hard at the gym
buttocks toned and abs of steel
Yet secrets he holds
No need to thank me. No, really I realise there is just no need…
Oh sweet liberty
Gang banged by a Donald train.
Wall’s to keep you in.
All mostly inappropriate…Sorry. No really I am…Honest…
Once a christian chap from Uganda
caught a glimpse of gay porn, took a gander
soon large cocks he devoured
had his anus deflowered
And got Aids from a bloke in Rwanda
All depends on how you say’desperate’ really…
Piss soaked Christmas socks
Desperate times call for the most
desperate of measures
No need to thank me.
Hot moment ruined
by poor personal hygiene.
Balls smell like tacos
well it has a 5/7/5 syllable thing going on…
Thinks he still has it
mostly she is wondering
if she dropped a stitch
Just the one perhaps
Once a suave self confessed lady killer
met a lady boy when in manilla
soon the roles were reversed
penetrated he cursed
though he went back for more, such a thriller
One day to go!
Counting down the days
November still, she rages
a long month ahead
Make Friday rhyme with Heidi, that’s how I speak.
Body builder, Chad, Monday to Friday
when the weekend came, big busty Heidi
he’d perform cabaret
with his cock tucked away
and a back, sack and crack to stay tidy
It’s something I guess
Once a fellow not great at biology
should have researched ‘fore attending proctology
Turned out quite the surprise
when doc said, open wide
for his cold hands, offered an apology
They do, they really do
How do I love thee
Doting, heart full of passion
reciprocated?
That’ll teach you to forget to floss!
Once a dentist with cravings malicious
found his knocked out patients quite delicious
he would then go to town
with his trousers pulled down
you’d come round, mouth stretched wide, unsuspicious
There’s no hurry according to my wife
Filled with yuletide joy
Sleighbells and snow balls delight
have patience perhaps
Just say no to drugs! Bit filthy this one…
Once a chap with a nasty sore back
took some weed for pain which lead to crack
now sells ass for a high
pay, he’ll milk you quite dry
for a tenner he’ll empty your sack
