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Welcome to Afterwards

You won’t leave feeling affirmed or inspired but you might just crack a smile at something you shouldn’t, and that is okay because I wont tell anybody. Someone even laughed out loud once but then had to pretend it was something funny they read elsewhere because it was wholly inappropriate and they were a bit ashamed but mostly amused.

You won’t leave feeling affirmed or inspired but you might just crack a smile at something you shouldn’t, and that is okay because I wont tell anybody.  Someone even laughed out loud once but then had to pretend it was something funny they read elsewhere because it was wholly inappropriate and they were a bit ashamed but mostly amused.

Twisted Reflection

Happened to a friend, honest…

Alone he wonders, heart pounds and mind races

Over mirror he squats, confused he now faces

The prospect of cancer, or maybe a pimple

Or possibly worse or is it not simple

Will she walk in as reflection he studies

His manhood it dangles, and he squints and he worries

He reaches, contorted, there’s fire in his knees

Twixt fingers he holds it and starts then to squeeze

His back passage is clenched, mirror full of his worry

Which he straddles on haunches, heart beats in a hurry

Then finds peace in a moment and relieved, calmly smiles

Pulls up his pants and declares, “It’s not cancer, just piles!”

What happened next…

hmmmmm

I’m not sure whether the title of this piece needs an ! Or a ?

After nearly thirty years I have taken redundancy and am no longer employed.

I first went to work at the Halifax Building Society more than twenty nine years ago, and it has been one of the longest relationship of my life.

But now I am done.

I have no major plans to fill my days over the next few months, though I intend to return to my blog and to learning how to do wood panelling, and taking a number of holidays and to simply not doing what i’ve done for as long as I can remember doing it, whatever it was I actually did.

I loved almost every minute of it, but i’m ready for something different now, or at least I will be soon.

It’s a strange thing to say, but getting cancer and losing my job may just turn out to be two of the best things that have happened in the last eighteen months, and I feel quite excited about the prospects of whatever happens next…