Beginnings – 5 – Unexpected Revelations

The tale of Darren and Julie

M does a marvellous set of prompts each month, today the prompt was Spontaneous Eruptions.  I am sure you aren’t surprised at what I came up with.  I recorded it too though so you can listen rather than actually reading it.  See how kind I am…I hope it works.

 

https://puttingmyfeetinthedirt.com/2018/07/01/july-writing-prompts/


The tale of Darren and Julie

 

Once a chap said “I Do”, his wife said she’d be true

And in bliss they did spend all their days

In bed things were quite hot and they cared not a jot

For the flaws in their deeds and their ways

 

For they say love is blind but alas her behind

Grew quite plump and his ardour it waned

And he seemed now quite dull and there came then a lull

In the bedroom “Boring!” she complained

 

“Well your cooking is foul” he proclaimed with a scowl

She complained that his chores were undone

and with pinky quite crooked she complained how he looked

“You’re a cow” he did cry “like your mum”

 

There were slamming of doors, and so started the wars

And she went for a drink with his mate

So he signed up online had a jolly good time

Second base from an internet date

 

They fought over the cat she poked fun at his fat

Rotund tummy, he scoffed at her thighs

So she scratched up his car, he cut up her best bra

And on facebook he posted foul lies

 

So she slept with his dad and that made him quite mad

So she dry humped a tramp near some bins

Then he had a tattoo of her name and some poo

She jerked off a red head pair of twins

 

And at last it did end, for they just could not mend

The sweet love that was now oh so broke

And they went separate ways but that’s not how it stays

Even though its been weeks since they spoke

 

For one night on the booze he did text “I did lose

Something dear how I wish wed not split”

And she lonely and sad (and she quite missed his dad)

Said “I miss you come round in a bit”

 

Now they’re trying again and it might end the same

Or they could this time round find love true

Now he needs to just find a tattooist most kind

To remove what he inked near his bum…  

 

 

Author: Michael

Husband, dad,programmer, comic collector and proud Yorkshireman. I have no idea why im here or why im writing but i rather enjoy it. no great fan of punctuation;

21 thoughts on “Beginnings – 5 – Unexpected Revelations”

  1. I like to listen to a British accent, no matter its origin. I had my Canadian accent and pronunciation of some words when I moved here and classmates and my teacher laughed at me (yes, even the teacher), so I adapted pretty quickly to “the American way” … my mother would not give up a lot of Canadian sayings and would chafe when people said she had an accent.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sometimes its just easier to fit in and not be forever explaining that you’re from somewhere else I grew up in Africa and with an English accent was always having to explain how I got there

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I do recall reading you grew up in Africa. Yes, people ask lots of questions … in my case I spoke with a Canadia accent and also wrote and spoke Oxford English, little or no contractions. Teacher ridiculed me for how I spoke in sixth grade … the class laughed and I never wanted to go back to school. Now, I think it is good to be different, but I don’t have a Canadian accent anymore.

    Liked by 1 person

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