Tag: sex

A Limerick. On a Sunday. It is Sunday right?

February had 29 days, March 200 and April has 625. I have no idea what day or month it is to be honest…

This poor lad I know, self isolated

Spent his days watching porn, masturbated

Till his bits were quite raw

And his arms were real sore

And his balls were all red and inflated

Fatties in Isolation

Bet you’d forgotten about these two…I had…

The last year I have not been particularly active on my blog, but there was a time when I was prolific. Having more time on my hands has me returning a little more often and dusting off the ideas I had parked. Today I think I will revisit one of my favourite series of pieces and bring it up to date. You can see all the previous pieces at the links below. I think. It’s mostly just dirty poetry about a curvaceous couple having sex in space as I recall. I think I even did an audio poem version.

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/31/fatties-in-space-not-one-for-the-kiddies/

https://afterwards.blog/2017/09/23/fatties-in-space-the-poem-not-for-kiddies/

https://afterwards.blog/2018/07/15/fatties-in-space-the-poem-audio/

https://afterwards.blog/2017/10/14/fatties-in-space-part-3-definitely-still-not-for-kiddies/

https://afterwards.blog/2018/07/28/fatties-in-space-part-4-the-poem-audio/

https://afterwards.blog/2019/01/14/fatties-in-space-part-5/

Bloody hell I did a lot of that didn’t I…

Anyway let us return to the present…

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So some time has elasped and our couple content

watch tv, go for walks, quiet evenings are spent

with warm slippers, and tea and a nice box of chocs

Now she eats praline creams where she once ate his cock

And sweet caramel swirls feed his most basic cravings

Seems an eon since balls deep they were misbehaving

But we’ve all been there, right?

Grown complacent and settled

Since the humming bird sampled from soft pink sweet petals

Work gets in the way, rowdy kids take their toll

Rather just read a book where you once rode the pole

If efforts arent made then lusts embers can fade

Now you’re getting quite fat instead of getting laid

But seems things are afoot, it’s a changed situation

For our couple are now in enforced isolation

Social distancing worries have them safe at home

And for weeks now they’ve been pretty much all alone

And without the distraction and stresses and strains

And with time on their hands seems they start to refrain

From excuses and reasons not to both enjoy

The pleasures of flesh and fun toys to employ

Like the bike not forgotten theyre back on the horse

Shes not wuite as flexible, he’s breathless of course

But the thril of the bliss and the gratification

Oh the sweet benefits of this home isolation…

Your Tuesday limerick

It’s that time again

Once a virginal lassie from Bury

To her boyfriend she offered her cherry

“Damn wrong hole” she did cry

“You’re two inches too high!”

“Does it hurt?” he asked, she replied “Very!”

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I had to do a wee but of research on this to get the imperial measurements as I am very much metric born and raised.   Oh and yes I know, position matters here in the general up and down of things. Look you’ll work it out I am sure…Now my browser needs clearing.  See the lengths I go to for your limericky pleasure!

Hey look another limerick

More than 600 limericks and first time I have used ‘front bum’.
Yeah I know, surprised me too.

Woman, goodstanding of the judiciary

had a front bum that smelled like a fishery

She would hand down decrees,

Judgements, consider pleas

But if upwind then that was true misery.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Never After – Room 101

Just a quick 101 words

I haven’t done this for a while.  101 words.  Sometimes a beginning, sometimes an end.  Or even a frustratingly pointless middle.

With rain running down her face Maria smiled as she remembered that first meeting.    Mother said that she’d know when she met the one.  Mother was right.

She loved his charm, that assured way he walked over and god that confidence. Her pulse still raced at the thought, the way he looked at her with those dark eyes and the things she felt when he placed his hand unexpectedly on her arm.  He was intoxicating and too delicious to resist.

“I wonder if he has a brother?” She thought tipping the final shovel of soil over his face and walking away…

 

 

 

 

 

 

A final Creepy Love Poem.

A fond farewell to these at last…

This was the first…

Then this one…

This the third

You’re the sun on my face

You’re the wind in my sails

My everything and my all

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Im the breath on your windows

The rustling in your bush

Want to cut you open, climb inside

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Breathing deep I inhale you, musty and wet

Hunched over your laundry basket

I squirm as my heart leaps inside

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Carve you’re name into my desperate flesh

Your name drips from my lonely lips

I want to wear you , my corpse bride

Even More Super Creepy Love Poems. Feast on my cheese.

It’s a little jarring in it’s construct but love makes you feel that way. Right?

This was the first…

Then this one…

 

 

My love knows no ends, let us be more than friends

Oh let me feel your rampant thunder

Thighs spread wide

Im ripped asunder

 

Use me, abuse me make me your floozy

Touch me , take me , make me yours,

apple in my mouth

Crawling on all fours

 

You’re my snow white, I adore, and I’m all of your dwarves

Damp, humid, clammy, dampish, Drippy

Dewy, dank, not-dry and oozy

muggy, moist and slippy

 

My heart will rhyme until end of time

I am your refuge, come, paint my walls.

My pink canvas, your magnolia strokes

I’m your sport, use my balls.

 

 

 

 

 

More Creepy love poems

This one’s particularly bad. So bad it’s good right ?!?!

This was the first…

Oh let me feel the thrust and parry

your long sword deep and penetrating

piercing the armour of my heart

driving deep within my wanton soul

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You are the marauder at my gates

the barbarian at my city walls

beard wet, wild eyed

loins girded in the skins of the moist beasts you have tamed

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Lay siege to my heart as your ram batters my back doors

let me feel your furious love spill over my ramparts

My moat filled with your explosions

My portcullis trembling as you pound against my defences

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Oh lay waste to my ladies vegetable garden

And run wild through my thick undergrowth

Take me, Impale me, I surrender

All I have is yours

Creepy love poems

Warm and squishy. One for the romantics out there…

Oh won’t you let me climb inside you

Let me wear you like a skin

And to feel your heart a beating

And to touch you from within.

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What you see I want to witness

When you hear ill hear it too

When you nap ill snooze inside you

Let me be there when you poo.

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From your innards i can feel you

As I’m nestled in between

I can feel your pain quite clearly

‘Twixt your liver and your spleen

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Oh let me crawl right up inside you

Wont you let me show u love

There inside your flesh and sinew

Let me wear you like a glove

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My desire knows no limits

And my love is absolute

Here its warm and wet and safe

Inside my juicy love skin suit

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