“>>>CONNEXION>>>”

You should just skip by this one I reckon

This was a prompt that goies with the pics at the bottom

Prompt here:

Countless suns blazed across the inky night sky as the city below held it’s breath,  twenty million inhabitants watching as the royal wedding party descended slowly in a small silver pod, the gigantic form of the orbiting class 1 Pleasure Craft an imposing and regal backdrop. 

The pod travelled slowly towards the iridescent high towers of the State palace, the twin moons looking on like a heaving pair of breasts, and the pod seemingly slipped between them before disappearing from sight.

Whilst the crowds waited, hungry for the confirmation that the bonds between the two warring peoples had been cemented, crimson clad handmaids whisked the Prince Aurorus from his silent carriage towards the bed chamber.   High vaulted ceilings and pristine marble floors reached out before him, the wedding train floating behind.

Wide eyed he gasped at the beauty of the palace, he had always imagined them so savage and base, but this spoke to something more beautiful and advanced. His heart pounded at the closeness of the alien handmaids, for as long as he could remember sworn enemies of her people. But now, through this bond, peace might be restored to the universe.

At least that is what father had told him in those moments before he had been whisked away by the high priests. He remembered how the ground had shaken as the low orbit bombers strafed the citadel back home. Beyond the blast shields that kept them safe, the world burned, and mother sat and watched, tears streaming down her face. She didn’t look as he was escorted from the room. Wouldn’t. Couldn’t.

And now here he was, surrounded by grandeur once more.

“Make yourself comfortable,“ said one of the handmaids as they passed through large ornate doors into a dimly lit room. He could make out the glitter of gold and precious stones on the walls as he walked towards the large bed that sat in the middle of the floor.

“Here?” he asked.

The handmaid nodded and hissed a command in her own tongue. The others all left the room leaving just the two of them. The handmaid motioned once more to the bed, nodded again and smiled a wide mouthed smile, eyes flashing and her scales catching the light. She then backed slowly out of the room, pulling the heavy doors closed behind her.

Aurorus knew what was next. Simple, painless and necessary he had been told. The priests spoke of duty, of tradition, of oaths that needed to be upheld, of the need to...

“My Prince,“ came a voice from the shadows. “Welcome once more,” it continued.

Barl stepped from the darkness and stood before Aurorus. He seemed larger now that he had during the ceremony.
Aurorus tried to speak but the words caught in his throat. Barl walked across to him, his yellow eyes deep set in his head, flashed as he looked at him there on the bed.

“They are waiting for us you know?” he said, “For our people to be united through our union. For light to return to the universe on this most glorious of days.”

Aurorus nodded. He knew. The priests had prepared him, assuring with hand wringing and much nodding that their people were not so different in so many ways.

Barl stood fully eight foot tall, the light reflected on his scales and they flickered with purples and reds, thick horns running the length of his arms and his long tail swishing around behind him, the tip curling as it rose and fell with his breathing.

“What is that?” Aurorus asked, motioning to the thick appendage that he held in his hand. It started in the middle of his chest, curled around his arm, and sat comfortably in his palm.

Barl look confused. “Did they not prepare you? It is my Schlem-na”

Aurorus felt uneasy. The priests had not mentioned that, he was quite certain. That was not something you would easily forget.

“Never heard of that,“ he said, pulling his knees tight to his chest. He watched him hold it towards him, almost as an offering.

Aurorus shook his head.

“The end comes off,“ said Barl, as if that might be some comfort.

Aurorus watched as the end opened up.

“You can fuck right off,“ he exclaimed, shifting back on the bed.

Barl tilted his head to the side, unsure of the words, they weren’t ones he was familiar with.

“And look, from inside the Schlem-na you can see the galtob,” Barl continued. He seemed very proud of his galtob. The galtob snaked from inside the Schlem-na, a full foot long, as thick as a finger and a bright blue. Like the sky at home, Aurora thought, only far more terrifying.


But it was nowhere near as pretty as the skies at home, and when the tip of the galtob hissed and bared a hundred pin like teeth he screamed, recoiling.

“My Prince,” said Barl looking to assure him. “Is it not a most regal and princely thing? Is it not the mightiest galtob across a thousand worlds?”

He seemed to be of a mind that it was, though Aurorus – being no expert in such things, was wholly unprepared to make any sort of qualified assessment as to the majesty of Barl’s Schlem-na, galtob, or anything else for that matter. The bed sheets were quite nice, and he had quite enjoyed the wedding robes and the ceremony, but right now they seemed somewhat secondary considerations. 

Barl’s galtob let out a shrill scream.

Aurorus let out one too.

The galtob reared and darted towards him. Barl felt his Schlem-na vibrate in his palm and he groaned with pleasure.

“Galtob approves,” he declared jubilantly, and crawled onto the bed next to him. Galtob did indeed approve and schlem-na backed up his affirmation with another girthy pulse.

“What do you say my prince?,” Barl pressed.

Aurorus recoiled as he stretched out the hand that was not holding his hissing collection of matrimonial hellishness.

Aurorus closed his eyes.

Once more Barl pressed, and the galtob snaked slowly towards Aurorus, swaying hypnotically. The teeth seemed to smile as it neared him and he could have sworn she heard it call his name and tell him what a pretty mouth he had and such slender hips.

“No,“ whispered Aurorus.

Barl leaned in. The Galtob now just inches from his face, pressing once more.

“Are you ready to make the universe whole again? To bring unity and peace and to cease this chaos?” Barl asked.

The galtob trilled sweetly and the pulsing of the schlem-na quickened. Barl smiled, rows of razor sharp teeth in his thick scaled face. A broad aperture opened in his forehead and a second galtob snaked out, though this one was thicker and pink and dripped a thick white liquid.

Barl saw Aurorus' eyes widen..The mouths of the galtob opened in unison.


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Does Aurorus:

A) Gently wrap his fingers around the First galtob, giggling as the Schlem-Na flushes pink with anticipation, the second galtob whispering sweet promises in his ear. Don't knock it until you try it, right? It is for world peace after all...

B) Bite off the head of the galtob as it darts from his forehead to his mouth, crush the schem-na in his hand, screaming wildly that the universe can burn for all he cares, whilst he grabs the second galtob, pulling it free and swinging it around his head like a tiny-mouthed lassoo...
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Hey I was just pissing about with this. It reminded me a bit of one of those choose your adventure books I had when I was about ten (at least one of which I actually still have)
Anyway...it’s something...

Late Night Limerick – Get well soon

You might want to get it looked at


Oh poor lamb heard you’ve got gonorrhoea

And the symptoms they seem quite severe

Now it burns when you piss

You’d not bargained on this

When you paid for that hooker, oh dear

99 Word Story – Feather

Gabe gasped loudly, Stella tracing the duster from neck to unbuttoned jeans…

Written in response to the ‘Feathers’ prompt. 99 words, no more, no less.


Gabe gasped loudly, Stella tracing the duster from neck to unbuttoned jeans.

“Quiet,“ she whispered, fingering his lip. “You’ve been a dirty boy. You need cleaning.”

Gabe nodded obediently. “Yes, Ive been so dirty.”

Desire coursed through them. Eyes locked. They burst into fits of laughter.

“Kiss your mother with that mouth?“ Gabe joked.

A feint but familiar child’s cry sounded from next door.

“Oh well. Looks like were sharing the bed love,” said Stella, kissing Gabe tenderly.

“Ill take the spare room,“ said Gabe smiling.

Stella tossed him the feather duster. “Take that, the corners need doing.“

It’s Monday where I am. Just. Limerick time.

Aah the things we deny ourselves…

Once a lady with grace, class and poise

Had a craving for both girls and boys

She would keep it well hidden

What she thought was forbidden

And so got through so many sex toys

Hey. Psst. You, yes you. Got a nasty limerick for you.

It’s just one. It will be fine. No one will know trust me…

A flatulent baker called Martin

Won all contests he’d entered his tarts in

His baked wares were the best

And he proudly confessed

“‘Cos as well as sweet treats, they have fart in!”

An animal lovers Tuesday limerick.

Not one of my better ones but it’ll do. Not like there are loads of bestiality limericks out there to compare it to…

A compassionate vet from Uganda

Stroked a cat whilst sat on his veranda

Took his love just too far

Touched a dog in his car

Now gives hand jobs to monkeys and panda