In a manger a baby fulfilled
His dads prophesy, how the Earth thrilled
Cows and angels, some sheep
Wise men sighed, watched him sleep
Thirty years later, his dad had him killed
Offensive Christmas limerick time.
Apparently that’s now a thing too…
Tag: bacon
Hey. Psst. You, yes you. Got a nasty limerick for you.
It’s just one. It will be fine. No one will know trust me…
A flatulent baker called Martin
Won all contests he’d entered his tarts in
His baked wares were the best
And he proudly confessed
“‘Cos as well as sweet treats, they have fart in!”
Saturday Limerick.
What a year indeed…
A philandering chap with a mistress
Took another, then two more at Christmas
Dirty threesome in May
Then for June he turned gay
He got aids, gonorrhoea and syphilis
Personal Pronoun Sex Limerick time.
Apparently that’s now a thing too…
A promiscuous temptress called Brenda
Not especially choosy on Gender
Whether he, she or Eir
Xemself, Hir, Shim – Don’t care
She’s ain’t fussy- just wants sensual splendour
________________
I don’t think I’m ignorant, perhaps a little sheltered and middle aged white man and all that…I just honestly had no idea…read it for yourself…
A wholly inappropriate limerick about oral sex and the Corona Virus. Because it’s Monday. Too soon?
Just because…
Horny fellow who’s wife had Corona
Insisted she feast on his boner
How her cough made him jump
bit his cock off, a stump
is all thats remains of dick former
Okay so tenuous last line there…it si what it is…Perhaps too soon to be joking about such things but if you dont laugh sometimes you’ll end up losing your bloody mind.
A limerick. For no real reason.
Just because…
Once a vet, quite the lover of rats,
mice and gerbils, but not fond of cats
Made a fine pair of mittens
from some cute persian kittens
and a tabby he made into hats
Tuesday Limerick
My least favourite day…
Quite surprised, turned out Kate was a squirter
But only if Ted said he’d hurt her
Straps and chains, pegs and whips
Made it shoot ‘twixt her lips
And her nipples got so so much perter.
Hey you. Got another limerick for you.
nasty nasty nasty
Lonely farmer, long nights, all alone
watched hot animal vids on his phone
he succumbed to desire
as lambs set him afire
and the squealing pigs so made him moan
Hey. Psst. Got a dirty limerick for you.
It’s just one. It will be fine. No one will know trust me…
handsome chap, sexual health, regards not
Hookers, men, women, wives, banged the lot
quite a shock, he found out
caught aids, siph, clap and gout
now he’s dead, decomposed, not so hot
Friday Limerick.
Hard as the rock he so loves
A geologist thrilled by erosion
ox bow lakes, sedimentary corrosion
quite turned on by ablation
or a wet river basin
limestone layers cause trouser explosion
Sweet lovin’ limerick.
For that special someone
A new love, mid act of sweet love making
Said “Oh babe yeah so hot, god I’m shaking”
“Not a chance” she replied
“You dont touch either side
now get off ‘cos I’m done with my faking”
A Tuesday limerick.
How I despise thee….
Cannibals, this fine preacher ensnared
He said “Please don’t eat me” declared
“Eat the sweet bod of Christ,
drink his blood, it’s quite nice ”
How he screamed as his flesh they prepared
A pork based limerick.
Mmmmm bacon….
Once a muslim chap who so loved bacon
So much so that it left his faith shaken
How in god could be trust
When for chops he did lust
And roast gammon…it left him a quakin’
Afterwards 
