It’s a limerick. Of course.

Why not eh…

Advertisements

A flight steward, Oliver Brown 

A mile higher of sensual renown

He would find himself spent

At a bumpy ascent

But preferred it much more, going down.

Another Friday Limerick.

Friday! Result!

Lonely fellow from North of the border

Bought his ladies online, made to order

Silicone lips and tits

Plastic nipples and clits

arse cheeks plump, narrow waist, shoulders broader

A Tuesday Limerick.

Wholly inappropriate for a Tuesday. Actually scratch that. perfectly suited for a Tuesday.

Christian couple in love, most appealing

Was desire but they fought it, prayed kneeling

Waited patient ’till wed

In Christ’s love took to bed

Balls so blue when he came, hit the ceiling.

Hey look another limerick

More than 600 limericks and first time I have used ‘front bum’.
Yeah I know, surprised me too.

Woman, goodstanding of the judiciary

had a front bum that smelled like a fishery

She would hand down decrees,

Judgements, consider pleas

But if upwind then that was true misery.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yawn, yet another limerick.

Not sure if this is a thing but I am sure it is somewhere. It works if you get the rhythm. Not that you want to . You’ve been warned.

A perverted yet grateful lass Julie

In bed, poo obsessed and unruly

Do a crap on your chest

In it sign “All the best,

Twas surely a real treat, yours truly.”

Saturday fruit-based-sex limerick

Permit me this one I have been frightfully grown up this week.

Once a grocer consumed with dark greed

rubbed bananas when he had the need

squeezed his nuts, groped his plums

slid courgette’s twixt his buns

Watermelon?  He swallowed the seed

 

😉

 

 

A Sunday Limerick.

It’s been a week. Let’s have one shall we…It works if you make Peking rhyme with squeaking trust me…

Once a buggery fan born in Peking

one day woke found his sphincter was leaking

used a cork from some rum

rammed it straight up his bum

worked a treat, when it walked made a squeaking.

Friday limerick. Explicit and not for children

Contains wholly inappropriate language. I mean really bad. The ‘C’ word. You were warned.

A tourette’s suffering fine voiced young fellow

joined a group and sang sweet acapello

Until he stood at the front

shouted “Tit, shit, fuck, cunt”

in a rather deep baritone bellow


I went on a bit of a road trip today to look at a van (which I bought and shall cover in a future post). I was driving along a snowy back water in Cheshire pondering how I might do a gif drawing of a dildo bike with accompanying limerick (watch out for that on Saturday) when ‘accapello’ and ‘fellow ‘ just dropped into my head. That is often the way with limericks atually. I get the three rhying words and that usually ests up the whole thing.

Anyway this one occured to me. I rather enjoyed it and even had a chuckle, but alas I then forgot it. Now this actually happens a lot but I don’t usually mind because there are always more to be had but this one I liked.

After about 45 minutes of racking my brain it eventually came back to me and I am glad it did. Offensive on a number of fronts I am sure but I remain rather proud of it. Oh and there’s one to follow about a Dildo bike. Cannot wait to do the GIF for it!