Nasty, Nasty Limerick time. Been a while.

To those who followed me because I wrote about dieting. This is probably closer to the real me. Sorry 🙂

Sex mad divorcee, now, online dating

Swipes and clicks left her moist, salivating

A transvestite off Grinder

Sweating, grunting, behind her

Tinder twins in each hand, masturbating

Limerick. Enjoy.

One about how to work out your manhood volume.

A perverse math’matician of note

to work out his cock volume, he wrote

“Times the length by the girth”

He reported with mirth

And then published with pics and did gloat.


Okay so I know that isn’t the calculation for working out the volume of one’s manhood. But no way am I googling that on the laptop the kids use from time to time. What sort of monster do you think I am.

Anyway, everyone knows you multiply the smallest radius of oval (minor axis) by its largest radius (major axis). Just not easy to get that into a limerick.

Though I did once read that it should be calculated using socks as a measure of volume. Ankle, sports, knee high. You get the general idea. Actually I once knew a chap who was an eye watering European size 12 Knee high. But that’s another limerick completely.

Happy Thursday !

Eat my big fat get well soon election limerick

Do it. You know you want to.

Heard you’ve probably lost an election

And it’s years since you’ve had an erection

And your kids are all shits

And your empires in bits

Hope you die from a nasty infection

Mostly Ive avoided politics and Donald the last few years but just a little something for him. You don’t like it? You’re a fan of him? Please unfollow me. Really. Bye.

A get well soon Limerick. Take it. Take it all.

Taste the rainbow…

Oh you poor thing, I hope you’re well soon

Heard it’s swollen up like a balloon

That there’s swelling and weeping

And dripping and seeping

Then a discharge that stinks out the room

 

 

A Limerick. Because it’s…actually I have no idea what day it is…

Ooh Brian you dirty, dirty little imp…

A virginal fellow called Brian

To get laid, he was tryin’ and tryin’

Efforts all came to nought

Then “eureka!”, a thought

Now each week, big boobed hooker’s he’s buyin’