Room to swing a cat

Not that I would. But if I had to.

People are forever musing on here aren’t they. You can’t swing a cat without encountering musings of one description of another.

Not that I would advocate swinging cats.  I would not.  I don’t even know where that saying comes from.  Perhaps it was an old way of measuring things?   Now again I repeat that I would not but if I were to swing an animal then it would probably be something a little more manageable like a tortoise or a guinea pig.  Cats are notoriously averse to being swung and have far too many sharp and pointy bits to be buggering around with trying to work out how wide your living room is to see if your new sofa will fit.

If I absolutely had to know whether the new 3 piece would squeeze through the door then I would punt for a measuring tortoise.  They are a bit short of  purchase points though so it’s probably wise to put it in some sort of cloth sack to swing it thereby reducing the chance of losing one’s grip and sending the measuring tortoise soaring through a window.  Last thing you want is glass all over and having to use something a little smaller to then measure the window so you can order new glass.  If you were in need of measuring a window though, and again this is just hypothetical, then I reckon a squirrel would do the job.  Red though not grey, the grey ones are a a bit feisty.  If you cant get your hands on a squirrel then maybe try a hamster.  A red squirrel is generally equal to 2 hamsters.

Just for reference the Tortoise in the picture above is equal to 7 red squirrels, so 14 hamsters.  Or is that a turtle?  Doesn’t matter they are pretty much interchangeable.

Oh and for those living in hot countries, do not use a lizard because we all know their tails fall off and the sight of the orphaned tail wriggling about will likely upset the kids.  Unless of course you can get your hands on a chameleon they work really well as they move pretty slowly though can be a bugger to find once you’ve put them down.  A friend of mine who lays carpets swears by chameleons but goes through two or three a month.

Not that I would though.  What a ridiculous and rather cruel idea.

Besides, everybody knows the old fashioned way of measuring things was by swinging small soot faced children, recently emerged from cleaning chimneys or making smocks and bed caps.

 

Screw you haiku

My first world white middle class problem.

I really was not in the mood for this today.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to find something to rhyme with ‘Shithole’.  Vole?  Mole? Pole?  They’re hard ly inspirational.

As if trying to rhyme with ‘Racist’ and ‘Orange’ isn’t hard enough now I have to put up with this.  The man has absolutely no consideration for people like me.  There are a myriad of derogatory phrases he could have used but no, he had to use that.

Thanks Donald, thanks a lot.

*EDIT ONE HOUR AFTER PUBLISHING

The ink on this is barely dry and now I have to work out rhymes for Stormy Daniels.  Honestly.  AS if my days arent busy enough without having to work out how to shoehorn the phrases “Dutch Steamboating” and “Golden haired sausage Gobbler” into a haiku.  They’re hardly light on the old syllables…

 

Screw you haiku

The cat made it perfectly clear who runs the house.

I’ve not written much of late as have been laid up unwell.  The cat seems to approve of this and has spent more time on my duvet than ever before.  Perhaps it is because there is no heating on in the house during the day and I am a source of heat, I know not.

I do though find it difficult to move her once she is settled and fast asleep and have been attempting to negotiate my way around the bed so as not to disturb her.  Earlier today this failed and shivering and desperate to get back into bed after visiting the doctor I had to very carefully move her.  Well, you can just imagine how very miffed she was with me and I swear she gave me the dirtiest look.  Like how very dare I.

Took me 2 whole packets of wet food and a promise to run the heating a little more often just to get her back on side.

Squirrel and Sparrow

High in the branches of the horse chestnut tree sparrow sat and watched with great interest as squirrel darted about on the ground below.

High in the branches of the horse chestnut tree sparrow sat and watched with great interest as squirrel darted about on the ground below.

“You seem rather busy today Squirrel” sparrow said.

“Oh indeed I am” squirrel said glancing up for only the briefest of moments and then returning to the rather important business of collecting nuts for the winter.  “Winter is coming Sparrow, and I must prepare.”

Sparrow watched her dart into a large crack in the side of the tree carrying a large acorn, her bushy tail still protruding.

“Do you not have enough already?” Sparrow shouted. “You have been gathering for weeks and weeks.”

Squirrel turned about and popped her head out.  “A squirrel can never have enough” she replied scuttling down the trunk of the tree and continuing to search in the golden carpet of leaves that covered the floor of the wood.

“And when do you know you have enough” Sparrow asked as Squirrel disappeared under a particularly large pile of red and yellow leaves.

Squirrel did not respond and moments passed as Sparrow waited for squirrel to emerge.

Suddenly, with a groan and an exclamation of joy she burst from the pile carrying what was most definitely the largest beechnut that sparrow had ever seen.

“My word” sparrow exclaimed, “surely now you have enough to tide you over during the dark winter months.”

Squirrel heaved it slowly towards the horse chestnut.  “Oh no” she said “the winter is long and I will most certainly need more.”

“Really?” said Sparrow, “and…”

Sparrow did not get to finish her sentence as quite suddenly, out of the high trees, Owl swooped down and in an instant her long talons wrapped around squirrel’s beech nut and hoisted it, and squirrel, up into the air.

“Let go” shouted sparrow watching owl swoop between the trees and glide up and up.

“But it’s my beech nut” squirrel shouted as ascended above the tree tops.  Squirrel hung on with all she had.  The nut was hers and she was not letting go.

Higher and higher flew owl, yet Squirrel would not let go.  Sparrow launched herself into the sky and set off after them.  “Let go squirrel, LET GO” she shouted as she neared them.

Squirrel looked down, her fingers beginning to slip as owl soared higher into the clear winter sky.

“No” she insisted, the wind blowing through her bushy tail.

Owl looked down seeing squirrel still holding on with the tiny tips of her fingers, smiled, and let go.

“It’s all mine” shouted squirrel defiantly as she hurtled towards the ground, Owl circling back to where she would soon land with a splat.

Tortoise and Monkey

Inspired by a true story a good friend once told me…

The mid-day sun beat down as tortoise wandered slowly across the Savannah.  Approaching the old marula tree he noticed monkey, his fist lodged firmly inside a small crevice in the trees side.

“Good morning monkey “ he said, the trees canopy providing delicious pools of  protective shade from the fierce sun. “Is everything okay?”.

“I seem to be stuck” monkey replied straining to free himself. Bees buzzed around him and he swatted at them with his free hand.  “I wanted honey, I found honey, and now I cannot free myself.”

“Oh dear, oh dear” said tortoise pondering the predicament.  “That is for certain no good thing.”

“Yes, yes” said monkey excitedly “no good at all, at all.”

Monkey tugged and pulled, teeth bared and his feet braced against the tree, but his hand remained firmly inside.

“Whatever will you do?” tortoise asked, “have you tried calling for help?”

Monkey nodded “Oh yes I have tortoise but the others were unable to free me.”

“And where are they now?” Tortoise asked looking about.  There were most certainly no other monkeys that he could see.  He looked up into the tree, thinking that surely that is where a tortoise would find monkeys but again there were none.

“They have left me, left me alone” Monkey said stills training in an attempt to free himself.  “They said that Lion was about and ran off.”  He looked down at tortoise.  “I will not share my delicious honey with them now no way no chance.“

Tortoise stopped and looked about slowly.  They were not particularly clever beasts in his opinion, and in his many years on the savannah he had always found them to be quite foolish too.

“Are you holding the honey now?” he asked.

Monkey paused.  “Yes” he answered suspiciously.  He was uncertain whether monkeys ate honey.

“And have you considered releasing the honey” Tortoise asked, “that would allow you to remove your hand surely.”

Monkey looked at tortoise quizzically.  “But then I would have no honey” he said quite perplexed.

Tortoise was about to answer when he heard the distinctive roar of lion now not far away.

“You need to let go Monkey” he said retracting into the safety of his shell “lion is on her way.”

“But then I shall have no honey” monkey shouted back defiantly, “and I do so love honey…”


Photo courtesy of pixabay

 

Cat and Dog

…He waited for cat to ask why today was not a day for napping.  Every day was absolutely a day for napping as far as cat was concerned, and she really was in no mood for dog this morning.

Dog barked excitedly as cat slipped into the room, rubbed herself against the leg of the old oak coffee table and jumped up onto the Old man’s chair.  She curled herself into a ball, took one look at dog and closed her eyes.

“Wake up wake up”dog barked his tail wagging wildly.

Cat opened her eyes slowly and sighed.

“What is it dog” she asked curtly, “I am rather tired and would very much like to take a nap.”

“A nap” dog exclaimed “oh no, no, no today is not for napping” he insisted.

He waited for cat to ask why today was not a day for napping.  Every day was absolutely a day for napping as far as cat was concerned, and she really was in no mood for dog this morning.  She had spent much of the night hunting mice in the barn and wanted to simply curl up and had no intention of asking why today was not a day for napping.

Dog waited for as long as he could, which was not long, before exclaiming excitedly. “It’s my birthday today cat, my birthday”

“And exactly how do you know that” cat asked impatiently.

“The girl with the fat bottom said so this morning” he barked spinning around his tongue lolling from his panting mouth.

“And exactly why do I care” cat asked shuffling into a more comfortable position where she lay.

“Oh because it’s my birthday of course” said dog.

“Yes I believe you said that already” said cat closing her eyes again.

“Oh cat please don’t nap” dog asked “it’s my birthday and birthdays are not for napping.”

“Let me ask you something dog” said cat he eyes still closed.

“Yes yes yes” dog panted. “Ask away ask away.”  He barked and sat quite still next to the chair where cat lay.

“What is a birthday?”

Dog cocked his head to one side, his eyes sparkling and his pink tongue hanging from his mouth.

“Well?” cat pressed.

“It’s…” Dog paused.  He barked and then exclaimed “It’s a birthday of course cat, my birthday!”

“But what is a birthday Dog” cat asked again, now sitting up so as to stare straight at him.  She did love him dearly but he was not the smartest of animals.

“Well…It’s …er…” Dog fell silent and looked rather sad.  “I don’t know” he said the grin gone from his face.  “It just sounded quite wonderful.  My very own birthday.”

“Oh silly dog” said cat making room for him on the farmer’s chair “jump up here and I will tell you all about birthdays and why today is indeed a special day.”

Crow and Sparrow

Crow shuffled atop the pole and glanced across at sparrow.  He was not a fan of small birds, he found them most tiresome with all of their constant cheeping and chirping.

 

“A very good morning” said sparrow as she alighted on the telephone wire just a short distance from crow, “Lovely day isn’t it.”

Crow shuffled atop the pole and glanced across at sparrow.  He was not a fan of small birds, he found them most tiresome with all of their constant cheeping and chirping.

“Is it?” he said.  Crow rather liked his peace and quiet.

“Oh indeed, indeed” Sparrow chirped excitedly.

“And why is that then?” Crow asked, not at all interested.

Sparrow flapped her wings excitedly then settled back onto the telephone wire.  “Well it seems that Owl said that he was told by Frog that it will rain later today, and you know what that means don’t you Crow?”

“Go on” said crow

“Worms” exclaimed sparrow “juicy, chubby, delicious worms.”

“Is that so?” replied crow as he watched the girl with the fat bottom and her dog cross the farm yard below and then surveyed the sky. “Doesn’t look like rain to me” he said quite matter of fact.

Sparrow looked about, the sky was blue and there barely a cloud to be seen.

“But Owl said…” said sparrow trailing off, her dark eyes scanning the sky for any signs of rain.  “Does that mean there won’t be worms?”

“Maybe there will be rain, maybe there won’t” said Crow with some pleasure “but if you ask me then I would say that no, there will not be any juicy fat worms today for you sparrow.”

“Oh” said sparrow now quite sad.  “I was looking forward to some juicy fat worms”, and with that she flew off in search of breakfast.

“Maybe next time sparrow” shouted Crow after her, smiling a quite wicked smile as he watched the fat bottomed girl and dog return from feeding the chickens.  Crow did not like dog or the fat bottomed girl either.  The girl ruffled dog’s head as they reached the farm house.

“Better get my coat girl” she said as she passed inside, the dog barking excitedly at the thought of a day on the tractor “lots of rain forecast this afternoon and I  don’t want to get too wet.”

Mouse and Cat

The rain had been falling all for days, pitter patter against the window panes of the old farm house. Cat stared out at the grey sky and decided that she would most certainly not be going outside.

The rain had been falling all for days, pitter patter against the window panes of the old farm house.  Cat stared out at the grey sky and decided that he would most certainly not be going outside.   He did not like the rain one little bit, and nothing would shift him – not even the little mouse he could see scurrying about at the edge of the log pile.

The fire crackled as the fat bottomed girl walked past.

“I don’t blame you for not going out “ She said, stroking cat behind the ears, “I’d stay inside if I was you too.”

Cat yawned and stretched himself out on the window ledge as the fat bottomed girl pulled on her coat and wellington boots and headed outside into the rain.  The door banged closed and Cat watched her disappear across the farm yard, past the log pile where mouse hid beneath an old stump and towards the barns where the cows would be huddled together ready to be milked.

Cat closed his eyes listening to the rain and was soon fast asleep.

As Cat slept mouse scurried across the yard from puddle to puddle, making her way between the log pile and the old farm house.  She scuttled up the small tree next to the window behind which cat was now fast asleep, and dropped lightly onto the window sill.

Mouse did so enjoy the rain because she knew full well that cat would not venture outside when the weather was so miserable.  She had once seen cat caught in a downpour and how she had laughed and laughed as cat hurtled back to the farm house, desperate to get inside only to discover that he had been locked out.  What a bedraggled dripping mess he was indeed.

As cat slept, mouse watched Cat closely from the safety of the other side of the window.  Never before had mouse been so close to a cat.

“What a curious creature” mouse said to herself, whiskers twitching.  She pressed her nose up against the glass to get a better look.  “Doesn’t look so scary to me.”

Cat stirred and opened one eye to see mouse staring straight at him.  As the rain fell the large Ginger cat and the small brown mouse stared at each other, neither moving.  Cat’s tail then twitched ever so slightly as mouse wrinkled her nose and then spoke.

“Good morning Cat” she said, but cat could not hear her through the glass and above the noise of the rain.

Cat opened both eyes and sat upright.  Mouse shifted nervously but remained on the window sill, perhaps feeling brave because of the glass that separated them.

Mouse stood up on her hind feet and stared at cat.  “Don’t look so scary to me” she said “I don’t see what all the fuss is about.”

Cat licked his lips and swished his tail, head to one side wondering what this mouse might be saying.  Did she not know who he was, did she not realise that he was rather fond of plump little mice?

Mouse dropped back onto all fours and seemed to parade up and down on the window sill as the rain continued to fall even heavier.

“You don’t scare me cat” mouse shouted, tapping on the glass with a tiny paw.  “this is my farm yard” she insisted and continued to scurry up and down the window sill feeling most brave, stopping only occasionally to pull faces at cat or wiggle her bottom at him.

Cat continued to watch mouse as she paraded up and down in front of him, his tail swishing and his whiskers bristling.  He saw the fat bottomed girl emerge from the milking sheds and head back across the farm yard as the rain began to lessen.  Mouse was so preoccupied that she did not seem to notice.

“That’s it” cat said to himself, “just a little closer”.

The fat bottomed girl was nearly at the door before mouse heard her, the rain now almost stopped.

Cat leapt from the window sill as the door opened, and in a flash mouse realised what was about to happen and darted for the tree next to the window, her heart beating frantically.  As the door opened cat rocketed across the farm house floor, past the crackling fire and out of the door just as mouse reached the foot of the tree.

Mouse knew she had but a moment to get to the log pile, and cat was closing in on her fast.  She skirted a small puddle as cat splashed across the yard heading for her, eyes wide and an intent and savage look on his face.

“Run mouse, run” she shouted to herself “he’s coming!”

Cat leapt through the air, paws outstretched and claws out as mouse lunged into the log pile.  Cat flew into a rather large stump and crashed to the ground, shaking his head.

“I know you’re in there!” he said as mouse crawled deeper into the pile.  “It’s only a matter of time Mrs Mouse” he continued, “you cannot stay in there all day.”

“I’m not scared of you” mouse squeaked, though she most obviously was, but it was starting to rain again and she knew cat would not remain outside long.

As the rain began to fall the fat bottomed girl opened the door and called cat inside, and he raced off to the warmth of the farm house.  As mouse emerged from the log pile, she looked back at the house and saw cat sitting in the window cleaning himself.

“I’m not scared of you cat “ she shouted as she scuttled back to her home, “and I am not afraid of the rain either!”


More stuff perhaps?

Fatties in space – not one for the kiddies

Screw You Haiku 11/9/17

The intergalactic language of tea – Daily Prompt

Mouse and Sparrow


photo courtesy of alexas_fotos@pixaba

Frog and Toad

Mr Toad watched Mrs Frog hop over to him.  “How delightful” he thought to himself. 

“Good morning Toad” mumbled Mrs Frog with a mouthful of the rather delicious fly which she had happened upon, “how are you this morning?”

Toad shuffled alongside the pond and looked across to where Mrs Frog sat on her lily pad eating.  “Good morning Mrs Frog” he replied and croaked, “you look well.”

Mrs Frog finished her fly before replying.  “Indeed I am Mr Toad, thank you ” she replied “the water is cool and the flies are plentiful.”

“Good good” Toad continued, his dark eyes blinking as he scanned the ground for juicy worms.  “it looks like another lovely day.”

“Oh most certainly ” said Mrs Frog.  He was a handsome Toad indeed she thought to herself.  “Would you like to join me for some breakfast?” she asked smiling.

“Breakfast?” Toad replied looking somewhat confused.  “Breakfast with a frog?”

Mrs Frog laughed.  “Mr Toad, we are not so different you and I, and it is only a spot of breakfast.”

Mr Toad was rather taken aback by the offer, he had never had breakfast with a Frog before.  “I see” he replied, “I would then very much enjoy that.”

Mrs Frog jumped from her lily pad with a splash and soon hopped out of the pond to join him.  Up close he was even more impressive, with his large round body, strong thick legs and such dry and bumpy skin.

Mr Toad watched Mrs Frog hop over to him.  “How delightful” he thought to himself.

As Mr toad shuffled Mrs Frog hopped alongside, and they travelled together around the edge of the pond chatting, stopping occasionally to gobble a fly or share a juicy worm.  Occasionally Mrs Frog would pop back into the pond for a quick dip before joining him again.

And so Mrs Frog and Mr Toad spent the morning together, and breakfast became lunch and lunch became supper.  When the end of the day came Mrs Frog slipped back into the pond and Mr Toad walked off slowly back to his log.

“Same time tomorrow?” shouted Mrs Frog as she watched him walking away slowly, her heart racing just a little faster.

“Oh no I cannot” replied Mr Toad, “Tomorrow I have promised Mrs Toad that I will remain home and tend to the young toads, and I do not think she will approve.”

Mrs Frog’s heart sank.

Toad spoke once more, but Mrs Frog had disappeared below the surface of the pond and did not hear him.

“Unless of course I could perhaps pop around once they are all asleep?” he shouted.

 


Want more stuff?  I have plenty of stuff.

The joy of saying stupid things 1.

Not a piece about Dr Who – Honest – Sunday Photo Fiction.

Mouse and Sparrow

 

Photo courtesy of Josch13@pixabay

Farmer and Dog

A heavy farmhouse door opened and farmer, the girl with the fat bottom and dog stepped out into the crisp morning air.

Dawn scratched at the edges of night across the far off hill tops setting the darkness on fire.  A heavy farmhouse door opened and farmer, the girl with the fat bottom and dog stepped out into the crisp morning air.  A light blanket of snow had fallen and it crunched beneath their feet as they walked.

He did not much care for the fat bottomed girl, she was prone top anger and tantrums and never gave him scraps from the table.  He did love the snow though and leapt to catch a flake as it drifted through the still air.

Farmer laughed heartily.  “Looks like a lovely day girl” Said Farmer to dog ,ruffling the hair on her head as she trotted along side him.  He was a broad shouldered ruddy faced man with large hands, a round tummy and a thick shock of red hair atop his head.

The girl with the fat bottom complained bitterly about being out of bed so very early.  “Why do I need to do this” she complained as they crunched through the snow.  “I fetch the eggs each morning and help with the milking, can someone else not do it?  It is so very cold.”

“Hush Ruby” said the farmer looking sternly at her “He’s your horse, you need to do this thank you very much”.  The fat bottomed girl did not respond, but dog knew too well to stay out of her way.

“A good Morning to you” said Dog to the cows as the passed the shed.

“A good morning to you dog” the cows answered in unison, tails swishing “we are quite ready to be milked.”

But they weren’t heading out to milk, so dog trotted on, bristling around the farmers legs excitedly.  He did so enjoy being up and about so early in the morning.

As they continued they passed the chicken hutch.  “Good morning dog” said hen, pecking and scratching in the dirt between the small collections of snow.  “have you brought us our breakfast?”

They had not, and dog greeted Hen and trotted on alongside the farmer.

“We’re okay for now girls” Dog heard hen call out as they crossed to the far side of the farm yard.

Farmer and the fat bottomed girl approached the fence and farmer reached into his pocket and pulled out an apple.  With an outstretched arm he offered it up to horse as he wandered across.

“Morning horse” said dog excitedly “lovely day isn’t it”

Horse paused before he answered.  “Do you know what the fat bottomed girl has been doing to the chickens?” horse asked slowly as he ambled across.

“I do not” said dog feeling confused.

“Hmm” replied horse gobbling up the apple, “not good” he munched, “not good at all.”

The farmer opened the gate and the fat bottom girl walked inside.  “Now don’t take too long” he said to her pulling his coat tight around himself to keep out the chill.  “Bring her up to the house and we will get her ready, the farrier will be here in a short while. ”

“What did she do?” Dog asked as the farmer opened the gate wider.

Horse did not answer…


Want to know what happens next?  I wrote the piece below a while back, thought it might fit nicely and create a more complete story line.

One Word Photo Challenge: Horse


Want to read more of my stuff?

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/29/a-collection-of-miserable-limericks/

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/14/probing-a-cautionary-tale/

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/03/first-blog-post/

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/14/we-unlikely-few/

 

Photo courtesy of eskimokettu @ pixabay

 

Sparrow and Snake #writephoto

Drawn to Sparrow’s not too distant chirps, snake slithered from his hole under the old oak, the summer sun warm on his scales.

Drawn to Sparrow’s not too distant chirps, snake slithered from his hole under the old oak, the summer sun warm on his scales.  “Sounds like trouble” he hissed to himself as he made his way through the meadow, the scent of wild flowers thick in the air.  “I do so enjoy the sound of distress.”

Through the long grass he wound his way alongside a trickling brook to a small thicket of trees where he came upon sparrow, sat on the ground at the foot of a broad, gnarled sycamore.   “Help me! Help Me!” she chirped.

“Oh sparrow” said snake, his little pink tongue flicking out as he spoke “whatever could be wrong that you would cause such a commotion?”

“It’s my egg” Sparrow said, most upset.  “It’s fallen out of the nest.”

Snake slithered a little closer “An egg you say?”  Snake did enjoy a good egg, they were quite delicious and sparrow eggs were a particular favourite of his.  “May I see your egg, sparrow?” He asked, moving closer still.

Sparrow did not trust snake one bit, and she most certainly did not like the sparkle his eyes as he approached her, his head swaying slowly from side to side.  “HELP” chirped sparrow loudly, spreading her wings over her egg “HELP, HELP!”

“Oh sparrow” said snake, his coils beginning to draw a circle around sparrow as she protected her egg, “you really should not fuss so, I only want a little peek.”

Sparrow reared up, wings flapping frantically. “No!” she chirped loudly, “Leave my egg alone you horrid snake.”

Snake eyed the small blue and brown speckled egg “Oh sparrow” he smiled hungrily “this is no time for name calling, I only want to take a little look.”

“You will eat it snake” sparrow replied “you’re a snake, and snakes eat eggs.  Every animal knows that.”

Snake inched closer and closer still.  “Dear sparrow, if that is my nature then surely you cannot blame me for wanting just a little look ” he replied.

Snake’s coils now completely encircled sparrow, and high up in the branches of the sycamore a chorus of frantic other chirps and cheeps joined those of sparrow.

“I ask only for a little look” Snake hissed and lunched forwards.  Sparrow Flapped frantically “Flee snake flee” she shouted “leave my egg be!”

Snake was now so close to sparrow’s egg she could almost taste it.  He lunged again with a hiss, tongue flicking out.  Sparrow flapped to avoid snake’s hungry mouth leaving the egg in full view of snake.

Snake was about to wrap his coils around the egg when there was a mighty rush of wind and a beating of wings, and in an instant large talons swept down and whisked him clean off the ground and into the air.  The birds in the trees chirped even more loudly.

Sparrow looked skywards as she settled back on the ground next to her egg to see the large silhouette of owl already disappearing into the distance with snake clutched firmly between her talons.

The birds in the sycamore chirped with delight.  “It’s Owl” they cried, “Owl has saved the day!”

A calm descended, sparrow remained with her egg and eventually owl returned, gliding silently through the green canopy of the wood and settling next to sparrow on the ground.

“Oh thank you owl!” said Sparrow gratefully, “whatever would I have done had you not rescued my egg.”

Owl blinked slowly, and quite gently picked up the egg.

“It is my pleasure” she said “but you really need to be more careful with your eggs.”

“I will owl, surely I will ” sparrow replied.

“Jolly good, jolly good” Owl continued, “now let’s get this egg back in your nest shall we, all this fuss does make one ever so tired and I would rather like to take a nap.”


Fancy something else?

Badger and Fox

Mouse and Sparrow

 Hippopotamus


Written in response to Sue Vincent’s write photo challenge

 

cracked1

https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/3193846/posts/1569792792

 

Photo courtesy of winterseitler @ pixabay

 

Hedgehog and Mole – 99 Word Prompt – Music and Berries

You need to be careful when you go into the woods…

The challenge was to write something in only  99 words and to include the words berries and music.  It is 99 words on the button. 

The challenge can be seen here:

August 10: Flash Fiction Challenge


 

“Do you like berries Mole?” Hedgehog asked, emerging from the thicket to the sound of Sparrow’s morning music.

“Oh yes, especially plump and juicy ones!” Mole replied licking his lips.

“Then follow me” said Hedgehog, “I know a place where the juiciest berries grow!”

Hedgehog led Mole to a clearing where the bramble bushes strained under the weight of the dark fruits.

“I can smell them!” said mole excitedly,  “Oh Thank you hedgehog!”.

As Mole devoured berries hedgehog crept slowly away, passing Fox at edge of the clearing.

“He’s all yours” Hedgehog snarled “I expect payment in full tomorrow.”


 

 

More?  Try this or this

Photo courtesy of pixabay


I also decided to tag this in a daily prompt because I think it’s a great fit…

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/Delivery/

Mouse and Sparrow

Just a sparrow and a mouse having breakfast

…a story where nothing terrible happens written for my blonde haired son.


“Morning Mr Mouse” said Sparrow form the safety of  the high branches of the sycamore tree.

”Good morning sparrow” Mouse replied looking up, twitching her whiskers and wrinkling her nose.  “Why so high in the tree?” she asked scratching in the earth as she looked for bugs and worms.

“The cat’s about “ Sparrow answered, “you really should watch out Mouse” she warned “you don’t want to be cat’s breakfast now do you.”

“Oh I’m ok” mouse answered quite confidently “I know the cat that lives here and she’s old and slow and won’t catch me.”  Mouse tugged at a fat juicy worm she had uncovered at the base of sparrow’s tree.

“That worm looks delicious” Sparrow said eyeing up Mouse’s breakfast “it looks very plump and juicy.”

“Sure is” said mouse her mouth full, “why don’t you come and join me”.  She wasn’t a greedy mouse, and indeed it was a rather fat worm.  “I will happily share my breakfast with you” she said.

Sparrow looked about, her small dark eyes scanning for any sign of the crooked old cat.

“Sounds good to me” she chirped not seeing any sign of cat and she floated down to join mouse.  “Oh that does look good” she continued, tucking into one end of the chubby little worm as mouse munched hungrily on the other.

Mouse and sparrow ate a quite delicious breakfast together and washed their juicy worm down with the cool crisp water which lay on the fallen sycamore leaves following the storm the night before.

“So what now?” Sparrow asked, flying back into the boughs of the tree.

Mouse cleaned her ears and resumed scratching in the still wet earth. “Hopefully more worms” she laughed “It was delicious indeed!”

“Sounds delightful” Sparrow replied still scanning the garden. “I shall see you later perhaps ”she continued, and with a “thanks again for breakfast and watch out for that cat” she was gone.


 

Want other different stuff?

something terrible happens in this one

In this one there is a girl in the rain

and this might make you laugh but maybe you wont admit it

oh and this one i am rather proud of

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/shallow/

On the matter of eating endangered species

Following a drunken discussion at the pub.

I would not eat a panda

it does not appeal to me

Despite it being grass fed

and not tough and quite juicy

It’s flesh I would not sauté

bake or broil or steam or fry

I would not make some pastry

and then bake it in a pie

 

Please do not serve me blue whale

it would surely be obscene

To brown it in a skillet

with chopped garlic and some cream

I could not sample blow hole

or a steak of flesh most pink

Do not prepare me sperm whale

or an orca or a mink

 

Bald Eagle’s off the menu

it could never pass my lips  

I’d never shallow fry it

And then serve it with some chips

Please do not bring it to me

if you do I will reject

The smorgasbord of tasty

claws and wings and beaks and necks

 

Be gone you furry entrée

do not ask me to abide

A puppy stuffed with kitten

and Koala on the side

It leaves me feeling queasy

and on me it does repeat

I gag on eucalyptus

flavoured mar-su-pi-al meat

 

I’d never eat a chilli

made of simians for sure

Orang-utan with lentils

that I surely would deplore

I’d not enjoy chim-pan-zee

milk poached with fresh vanilla

I’d rather eat a salad

than bar-be-cued gorilla

 

But pig and cow I’ll gorge on

and chickens fill the belly

Once eels I even sampled

But the hot ones not in jelly

So why’s each species different

some not headed for the pot

whilst others we eat freely

quite delicious cold or hot

——————————————————–

Fancy something else?

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/03/first-blog-post/

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/14/we-unlikely-few/

 

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/shallow/