Not that I would. But if I had to.
People are forever musing on here aren’t they. You can’t swing a cat without encountering musings of one description of another.
Not that I would advocate swinging cats. I would not. I don’t even know where that saying comes from. Perhaps it was an old way of measuring things? Now again I repeat that I would not but if I were to swing an animal then it would probably be something a little more manageable like a tortoise or a guinea pig. Cats are notoriously averse to being swung and have far too many sharp and pointy bits to be buggering around with trying to work out how wide your living room is to see if your new sofa will fit.
If I absolutely had to know whether the new 3 piece would squeeze through the door then I would punt for a measuring tortoise. They are a bit short of purchase points though so it’s probably wise to put it in some sort of cloth sack to swing it thereby reducing the chance of losing one’s grip and sending the measuring tortoise soaring through a window. Last thing you want is glass all over and having to use something a little smaller to then measure the window so you can order new glass. If you were in need of measuring a window though, and again this is just hypothetical, then I reckon a squirrel would do the job. Red though not grey, the grey ones are a a bit feisty. If you cant get your hands on a squirrel then maybe try a hamster. A red squirrel is generally equal to 2 hamsters.
Just for reference the Tortoise in the picture above is equal to 7 red squirrels, so 14 hamsters. Or is that a turtle? Doesn’t matter they are pretty much interchangeable.
Oh and for those living in hot countries, do not use a lizard because we all know their tails fall off and the sight of the orphaned tail wriggling about will likely upset the kids. Unless of course you can get your hands on a chameleon they work really well as they move pretty slowly though can be a bugger to find once you’ve put them down. A friend of mine who lays carpets swears by chameleons but goes through two or three a month.
Not that I would though. What a ridiculous and rather cruel idea.
Besides, everybody knows the old fashioned way of measuring things was by swinging small soot faced children, recently emerged from cleaning chimneys or making smocks and bed caps.
Think I need an early night
Okay so not so much a thought as the culmination of many thoughts. Arguments aside over exactly what the best phone is I recently bought me eldest the New Samsung on the basis that he promised to stay off of social media. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and whatever else I may choose to broadly lump into that category. I will then, every couple of years, upgrade him to the newest handset assuming he has stayed off it all.
He happily agreed, and whilst in the future he may not, for now I think it is something worthwhile because I am pretty convinced that the damage done by social media outweighs the benefits. There will be studies I am sure, but I am not basing it on them I am basing it on my experience and the pressure it puts on people and the need to broadcast ones life click by click.
There is an irony in blogging about this I am sure, and my blogs do post to twitter, but it is something I am happy I did because I think the kids will be better people for it in the long run. No one needs to know what he had for tea or where he has just checked in to and he does not need to see only the selective best bits of someone elses life to compare his to.
I’d much prefer he simply lives life than spectates…
Think I need an early night
Think I need an early night
That was a long lon g day. I slept terribly, the cats eventually waking me at 4am after I had stayed up far too late watching ‘Bright’. The eldest went to a sleepover and went to bed at 4 and the youngest went to bed at 3. I said he could watch one tv show in his brothers bed before sleep and forgot about him.
He came down to tell us all about the great TV he had watched at 3 rather wired and a little scared about something creepy but I do not recall what.
We were all reunited at lunchtime to head on a couple of hours drive out to the seaside for the afternoon. We weren’t beyond the end of the street before the younger was crying because of something the other had thrown, the elder professed his hatred for me insisting I should perhaps stop speaking and the wife’s day was already ruined.
I think we just about pulled it back as the day progressed, mostly because the little blighters fell asleep and I heeded the warning I had been given to ‘leave them alone because I just wind them up’.
Families eh 🙂
I know this because, in a bit of a stinking mood, I stopped the car to let an old lady cross the road the other day and she gave me such a beaming smile. Admittedly, she was going soooo slowly that if I hadn’t then I would probably have killed her but that’s not the point. Cheered me right up how happy she was and how ridiculously slowly she was walking. You know, she is probably out there now. Hmmm. Oh well, that can be someone else’s good deed..
I have lit scented candles and enjoyed long relaxing baths to the haunting calls of the blue whale…
I’ve not been on here long, but heavens there are a lot of musings going on.
Everywhere I look somebody is musing on something. You will find many a musing for each day of the week, and months are well covered too. The myriad of musable matters is rather mind boggling and there is no lack of quality musings out there.
New as I am to this blogging lark I have felt a pressure to muse myself at times. Often I sit in the dark thinking that a good hard musing right now would be just the thing. Perhaps I feel that I am missing out being relatively muse free as It seems I may well be.
Not only does it seem that I am not much of a muser but I may also be neither contemplative nor particularly deep, both qualities which it seems help in terms of ones quality musing ability .
I will admit that I have done my level best to find my inner muser, I am not lazy. I have lit scented candles and enjoyed long relaxing baths to the haunting calls of the blue whale and alas mostly I just end up fancying getting into bed with a nice cup of tea and a couple of biscuits and having an early night.
I have pondered the deeper things in life, the woes of society and the darkness that lies in the hearts of men and mostly the best i can manage is a haiku about Donald trump wanting to make love to that pudgy faced chap in charge of North Korea.
I think I once got close to an angst filled poem but it turned into a dirty limerick at the last minute.
Anyway, it’s quite late and I really shoulg be in bed.
Does that count as a muse I wonder?
Photo Courtesy of JSTARJ @ Pixabay