Once a buxom lass, claimed her lord died
For her sins and so fellows denied
Poor blue balls of her suitors
As they craved her large hooters
None succeeeded though many have tried
Limerick
Been ages…
Category: limericks
Sorry, yet another valentine limerick.
Real heartfelt stuff…
Oh sweet love, you consume me, devine
I am yours and I know you are mine
Im obsessed, that’s for sure
With your love,sweet and pure
And the fact that you love 69
And still another valentine limerick…
Feel free to borrow this gents. The ladies will swoon, trust me
How I love thee and all of your beauty
And your kind gentle soul it so moves me
You’re quite perfect it seems
Youre the girl of my dreams
With you vice grip vagina, round booty
More valentines limerick perhaps?
Especially for you….you know who you are
A quite flacid husband called Bill
Pleased his wife, took a viagra pill
All night long, how he railed her
Now she walks like a sailor
With her sticky jizz thighs, what a thrill
Yet nother valentines limerick.
One for the man in your life.
I adore your diminutive penis
My boobs love it when it is between us
And that cum face you make
When I make your knees shake
Happy valentines, from your sweet Venus
Another valentines limerick.
Feel free to use this for your significant other..
I will love you with chocolates and flowers
Anal fisting and warm golden showers
Spankings, kisses and hugs
Oral, choking and drugs
And hair stroking for hours and hours
A valentines limerick.
Dirty and confused. Just like love.
How I love thee above any other
Unless drunk, then im into your brother
Or your quite well aged dad
Who I fancy quite bad
To be honest, Id finger your mother…
A Wednesday Limerick.
Well it is Wednesday after all.
A betrayed french wife, Mademoiselle Eiffel
Went to jail, for she used Monsieur’s Rifle
Caught his with her next door
Eating puddings galore
Found him balls deep in her Sunday trifle
Look, a limerick!
For what she was about to receive…such great bounty indeed!
Pyromaniac nympho called Linda
Took a lad home that she met on Tinder
Took some candles to bed
How he screamed as he fled
Burnt the poor fellows cock to a cinder
Your Tuesday limerick
It’s that time again
Once a virginal lassie from Bury
To her boyfriend she offered her cherry
“Damn wrong hole” she did cry
“You’re two inches too high!”
“Does it hurt?” he asked, she replied “Very!”
A get well soon limerick
A weekly Limerick to help you with those get well soon cards
Heard you had quite a tiff with your Zip
And the skin on your knob it did rip
And you screamed like a child
And your eyes they bulged wild
Left a rather deep gouge in the tip
photo courtesy of pixabay
Limerick?
Meat based frolics
Once a perverted butcher called Pete
Did despicable things with his meat
It would so make you quiver
As he frolicked in liver
Rubbed his sausage with rancid pigs feet
Friday get well soon limerick.
Feel free to use it if you know someone in need!
You poor thing, heard you’re feeling unwell
That it’s itching and starting to swell
Hope you feel well real soon
And it doesn’t balloon
And explode with a pungent vile smell
Limerick o’clock
A tale as old as time…
Once a waiter from Greece, tanned and handsome
Held the hearts of the tourist quite ransom
How the ladies would swoon
And his tips would balloon
But was into dads, grandads and grandsons
Limerick. Again. Enjoy
By request…you know who you are.
A fellow oft found at the gym
Had a penis quite small and real thin
Though he had such great bulk
In bed his wife would sulk
And declare, “is that it? Is it in?”
Limerick time!
Ny what a big…er…hole you have…
A promiscuous lass from Aruba
Who’s vagina was shaped like a tuba
Massive labia, so wide
Men would rattle inside
on the plus side, you don’t have to lube her
An eye watering limerick
A cautionary tale of love, lust, betrayal and bum stuff
Once a secretly scorned wife called Brenda
Bought a strap on, a thick double-ender
Her chap wailed and protested
As his arse, she molested
Packed him off, walking odd and quite tender
Offensive Christmas limerick time.
Apparently that’s now a thing too…
In a manger a baby fulfilled
His dads prophesy, how the Earth thrilled
Cows and angels, some sheep
Wise men sighed, watched him sleep
Thirty years later, his dad had him killed
Monday. Yeah, sod that. Dirty Limerick time.
Guess this one is all about how youinterpret it…
Well aged hot wife chef quite fond of cooking
As they’d near the end of the nights booking
“No creampies, on my face”
She’d demand “It’s a waste!
Keeps my skin soft and rather young looking”
Limerick. Don’t read it. Seriously. You’ve been warned.
Bloody hell, that’s a bit grim, I will admit…
A young undertaker names Beth
Had a quite frightful case of bad breath
For she loved giving head
To the stiffening dead
How she loved the dank taste of sweet death
Hey. Psst. You, yes you. Got a nasty limerick for you.
It’s just one. It will be fine. No one will know trust me…
A flatulent baker called Martin
Won all contests he’d entered his tarts in
His baked wares were the best
And he proudly confessed
“‘Cos as well as sweet treats, they have fart in!”
An animal lovers Tuesday limerick.
Not one of my better ones but it’ll do. Not like there are loads of bestiality limericks out there to compare it to…
A compassionate vet from Uganda
Stroked a cat whilst sat on his veranda
Took his love just too far
Touched a dog in his car
Now gives hand jobs to monkeys and panda
Accidental incest limerick. Enjoy.
No wonder he looked so familiar
Once a girl found a boy like no other
Loved him so, wanted to be a mother
Kid was born with three legs
Fifty teeth like clothes pegs
Seems alas he was her long lost brother
Thursday’s Filthy Limerick!
One about a chap with a super hairy butthole. Because why the hell not.
A botanist, Daniel Mclarey
Had an anus, hirsute, super hairy
He would oft get it plucked
If he was to get fucked
But if not, overgrown, ’twas quite scary
A Filthy Limerick!
For what she was about to receive…such great bounty indeed!
A Christian couple, just wed
Found themselves all alone on the bed
She went down on her knees
And he grinned “Oh yes please”
She said grace for such bounty, gave head
Afterwards 