A Limerick for 2020

Let this be a warning to us all…

New years eve, chap had drunk some, well plenty

“Happy new year he cried, twenty-twenty

will be my year for sure”

then passed out on the floor

Shit his pants. Drink slow, quite elementary…

A Wednesday Limerick

Ooh, bulgy!

There once was a lady from Bruges

Winter sports she loved, most of all luge

Got a thrill from the speed

and her sensual need

was fulfilled by tights shorts and men huge

A limerick about flatulence fetish perhaps?

It is Monday after all. Just about. It just about rhymes. Kinda.

Eproctophilia out in the garden

met a flatulent lass “Beg your pardon”

She proclaimed, did a toot

He breathed in her bum fruit

And it gave him a fart fuelled huge hardon

Look I know, takes some effort reading it but it just kind of slipped out.  Reminded me of the time I did those haiku about fetishes and then when I was teaching in that time and left the research on the laptop when I plugged in in front of about twenty 10 year olds.

Your Tuesday limerick

It’s that time again

Once a virginal lassie from Bury

To her boyfriend she offered her cherry

“Damn wrong hole” she did cry

“You’re two inches too high!”

“Does it hurt?” he asked, she replied “Very!”

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I had to do a wee but of research on this to get the imperial measurements as I am very much metric born and raised.   Oh and yes I know, position matters here in the general up and down of things. Look you’ll work it out I am sure…Now my browser needs clearing.  See the lengths I go to for your limericky pleasure!

A Tuesday Limerick.

Wholly inappropriate for a Tuesday. Actually scratch that. perfectly suited for a Tuesday.

Christian couple in love, most appealing

Was desire but they fought it, prayed kneeling

Waited patient ’till wed

In Christ’s love took to bed

Balls so blue when he came, hit the ceiling.

I do love me a limerick as you know…

Shall we? It involves body parts and a selection of greases

A stammering tart  from Calcutta

Rubbed her bottom with handfuls of butter

Smeared oils on her tum

Grease upon her front bum

“Ch-Ch-Cheaper than lube”, she would stutter