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Category: limericks

Limerick ?

I should be better than this, I know…

Limerick ?

A closeted fellow called Bryan

Said he didn’t like cock but was tryin’

So so hard to resist

Tip the size of a fist

Big thick shaft, massive balls, oh he’s lyin’

Author MichaelPosted on February 5, 2023February 6, 2023Categories limericksTags Funny, Humor, limerick, silly, fun, humour, poetry2 Comments on Limerick ?

Look, another limerick! Yawn…

Look, another limerick! Yawn…

There once was a chap from Penzance

Who loved, woo’d, and married his Aunt

Had a kid, not the best

When you mess with incest

Born with 3 eyes, 2 cocks and no hands

Author MichaelPosted on February 4, 2023Categories limericksTags don't bang your mums sister, freaks, incestLeave a comment on Look, another limerick! Yawn…

A truly filthy poo sex limerick

stay well away…

A truly filthy poo sex limerick

A horny young lad from Korea

69ing, though had diahhorea

In the midst of the fun

Felt a stir in his bum

Filled his partners mouth, nose, eyes and ear

Author MichaelPosted on February 3, 2023Categories limericksTags limerickLeave a comment on A truly filthy poo sex limerick

A quick porcine desire limerick.

Suckling pig anyone?

A quick porcine desire limerick.

There’s this butcher, finds piglets appealing

turns him on, curly tails and hot squealing

how it makes him flip out

when he touches their snout

rubs their bellies, gets hot at the feeling

Author MichaelPosted on January 28, 2023January 29, 2023Categories limericksLeave a comment on A quick porcine desire limerick.

Butt + Vegetables = Limerick

Vegan friendly bum fun

Butt + Vegetables = Limerick

A young Catholic greengrocer from Brest

At confession got stuff off his chest

“I put fruit up my bum,

mangos, strawberries and plum,

massive eggplants and swedes,” he confessed.

Author MichaelPosted on January 24, 2023January 24, 2023Categories limericksTags bum stuff, its just a dirty limerick, no laughing matter, no means no2 Comments on Butt + Vegetables = Limerick

A Limerick. Dirty indeed.

mmmmm tasty

A Limerick. Dirty indeed.

Married chap I know has him a mistress

Who it turns out will eat only citrus

Says her ass tastes sublime

Just like lemons and lime

And he raves of her tangerine Clitoris

Author MichaelPosted on January 22, 2023Categories limericks2 Comments on A Limerick. Dirty indeed.

Haiku. For u.

Diminuitive poetry. meh…

Haiku. For u.

Sneaks downstairs at night

Rotund cake stealing ninja

Smamed by the fridge lights

Author MichaelPosted on January 21, 2023January 21, 2023Categories limericksLeave a comment on Haiku. For u.

Look, a limerick!

mmmmm meaty…

Look, a limerick!

A wayward young Muslim from York

Lost his faith, found a craving for pork

Chops, ribs, sausage and pies

Shin, cheeks, shoulder and thighs

Of his findness for snout, he would talk

Author MichaelPosted on January 16, 2023Categories limericks2 Comments on Look, a limerick!

Yawn, yet another limerick.

Beastly…

farmer confessed one day when hard boozing

To arousal when livestock perusing

He would moan in his sleep

Dreams of round bottomed sheep

Mornigns wake up quite sticky and oozing

Author MichaelPosted on January 14, 2023January 15, 2023Categories limericks1 Comment on Yawn, yet another limerick.

A Limerick

Sporty treats

A Limerick

There once was a lady from Brugge

Had a thing for young men doing luge

For spandex cannot hide

The thick treats as they slide

Be they tiny, mid range or quite huge

Author MichaelPosted on January 11, 2023January 12, 2023Categories limericksTags luge, packages, sports4 Comments on A Limerick

Limerick time. Men.

Limerick time.  Men.

A love addled fellow called Victor

Knew this lass, in his dreams kissed and licked her

But she flatly refused

To be courted or woo’d

So alone, wanks to her facebook picture

Author MichaelPosted on January 10, 2023January 12, 2023Categories limericksTags love, silly, fun, sex, dirty, #micropoetry, stalking2 Comments on Limerick time. Men.

Limerick. Don’t read it. Seriously. You’ve been warned.

Nasty girl

Limerick. Don’t read it.  Seriously. You’ve been warned.

A young undertaker names Beth

Had a quite frightful case of bad breath

For she loved giving head

To the stiffening dead

How she loved the dank taste of sweet death

Author MichaelPosted on January 8, 2023January 12, 2023Categories limericks3 Comments on Limerick. Don’t read it. Seriously. You’ve been warned.

Limerick ?

A limerick for you

Limerick ?

Friend of mine tells of this chap she dated

Whos bum play need could not be sated

She’d spend hours, days, weeks

Hard at work ‘twixt his cheeks

Soiled the bed when he ejaculated

Author MichaelPosted on January 6, 2023January 6, 2023Categories limericksTags fun, Funny, Humor, humour, limerick, poetry, sillyLeave a comment on Limerick ?

Surprise!! Yet another one of these

Don’t go acting all surprised.

Surprise!!  Yet another one of these

A squirty young lass took her lover

Off to bed only there to discover

He was epileptic, and thrashed

During sex, how she splashed

Up the walls, on the floor and bed cover.

Author MichaelPosted on January 5, 2023January 5, 2023Categories limericksTags depression, dieting, fat, get well soon, humour, inappropriate, limerick, poetry, sex, sillyLeave a comment on Surprise!! Yet another one of these

New Year. Same old limericks

Why the devil not, eh!

New Year. Same old limericks

A DIY lover, Matilda

Had a thing for her hot neighbour Builder

Stay composed? Oh she failed

When he hammered and nailed

And to watch him fill holes, nearly killed her

Author MichaelPosted on January 2, 2023January 2, 2023Categories limericksTags humour, inappropriate, life, limerick, poetry, silly2 Comments on New Year. Same old limericks

Sunday Limerick anyone?

This week I shall explore those ‘get well soon’ limericks I so enjoy.

Sunday Limerick anyone?

Once a chap who lived south of the border

placed a custom job sex doll web order

Tiny mouth, googly eyes

nipples large, like pork pies

a big butt ‘cos he like his dames broader

 

Author MichaelPosted on September 4, 2022September 4, 2022Categories limericksTags lighthouse, limerick, masturbation, splash, yellowLeave a comment on Sunday Limerick anyone?

Limerick. Enjoy.

Scientific!

Limerick.  Enjoy.

A perverse math’matician of note

to work out his cock volume, he wrote

“Times the length by the girth”

He reported with mirth

And then published with pics and did gloat.


Author MichaelPosted on September 3, 2022Categories limericksLeave a comment on Limerick. Enjoy.

Eat my big fat limerick

Now there’s a man who knows what he likes, and he likes what he knows.

Eat my big fat limerick

There once was a Scotsman called Warren

Who kept treasures galore ‘neath his sporran

How the ladies would wilt

If he lifted his kilt

But he much preferred boys, tanned and foreign

Author MichaelPosted on September 1, 2022September 1, 2022Categories limericksTags bestiality, Funny, gagging, nasty nasty bottom, poetry, tongaLeave a comment on Eat my big fat limerick

Limerick?

Read it a few times, it does work I assure you…

Limerick?

A landscaper with uncontrolled hard on

to a customer did beg her pardon

He could not spare her blushes

When he worked with her bushes

Pitched quite a tent in her wild lady garden

Author MichaelPosted on August 26, 2022August 24, 2022Categories limericks, UncategorizedTags sex; oral; funny; poetry; funny; silly1 Comment on Limerick?

Happy Tuesday WordPress.

Tricky limericky

Once a lass from the banks of the Humber

Who did quite shocking things with cucumber

What she did with a squash

Made you wince and say gosh

But oh how you’d kill for her number

 

Author MichaelPosted on August 9, 2022Categories limericks5 Comments on Happy Tuesday WordPress.

Hey look a limerick on a Sunday.

A sunday quickie

Once a fellow most holy and pious

who’s wife like a desert was dry as

till she found masturbation

with the male congregation

For the larger of girth, had a bias

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author MichaelPosted on August 7, 2022Categories limericksLeave a comment on Hey look a limerick on a Sunday.

Butt based Limerick…

One from the archives

Butt based Limerick…

Once a cyclist of note, name of Mike

Big old smile as he peddled his bike

Look of bliss on his face

For the seat he’d replaced

With a dildo, he really did like!

Author MichaelPosted on August 2, 2022August 3, 2022Categories limericks, Poems1 Comment on Butt based Limerick…

Yawn, another limerick.

A rude one about a woman and her need for a particularly large penis.

Yawn, another limerick.

A cavernous lass, quite pedantic

who insisted on cocks most gigantic

No nine inchers for her

(unless girth) she don’t care

Only upwards of twelve get her frantic

 

Author MichaelPosted on August 1, 2022August 1, 2022Categories limericksTags adult rated, dildo, dildo bike, explicit, fun, Funny, Humor, humour, limerick, poetry, sillyLeave a comment on Yawn, another limerick.

Get well soon you dirty little monkey

Get well soon you dirty little monkey

So a businessman based up in Libya

from his trip brought home crabs and chlymidia

and a vase from Phuket

from a trans chap he met

and a rash from this lass from Namibia

Author MichaelPosted on July 27, 2022Categories limericksTags Funny, life, silly1 Comment on Get well soon you dirty little monkey

A Monday Limerick

It’s Monday where I am. Let us start the week with a special bit of meaty madness…

A Monday Limerick

A butcher, too fond of his meat

Rubbed himself with pigs ears and cows feet

Would spend weekend a quiver

As he fondled lambs liver

Would explode at the sight of meats sweet

Author MichaelPosted on July 25, 2022July 24, 2022Categories limericksTags death, deceased, Funny, laughter, limerick, rubbing your bits on a dead person, sick and twisted3 Comments on A Monday Limerick

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