A landscaper with uncontrolled hard on
to a customer did beg her pardon
He could not spare her blushes
When he worked with her bushes
Pitched quite a tent in her wild lady garden
Limerick?
Read it a few times, it does work I assure you…
Category: Uncategorized
Limerick? Go on. Treat yourself.
Empirical proof is always worth the effort
A keen mathematician, Tallulah
Would not let young boastful chaps fool her
Evidence, she’d insist
Even before they kissed
And checks both length and girth with a ruler
Limerick? Go on, treat yourself.
Shall we? I think so…
A grocer of note, Gerry Nichols
Who in his butt place large pickles
He would squeal with surprise
As juice ran down his thighs
And guffaw as it really quite tickles
Limerick?
Pretty sure this is a thing. Bet there are web sites dedicated to it.
Once a fellow who gladly would savour
His gaseous girls rectal flavour
Inhaled her bottom gusts
and they filled him with lust
Made more foul by the beans that he gave her
____________
Here’s a follow up, a 2 for 1
____________
A foul smelling fan, name of Martin
Got turned on when his wife started farting
He’d breath in butt aroma
Made him quite a loud moaner
He’d explode when her butt cheeks were parting
_________
Sorry
Not sorry
A Wednesday Limerick
Ooh, bulgy!
There once was a lady from Bruges
Winter sports she loved, most of all luge
Got a thrill from the speed
and her sensual need
was fulfilled by tights shorts and men huge
A limerick about flatulence fetish perhaps?
It is Monday after all. Just about. It just about rhymes. Kinda.
Eproctophilia out in the garden
met a flatulent lass “Beg your pardon”
She proclaimed, did a toot
He breathed in her bum fruit
And it gave him a fart fuelled huge hardon
Look I know, takes some effort reading it but it just kind of slipped out. Reminded me of the time I did those haiku about fetishes and then when I was teaching in that time and left the research on the laptop when I plugged in in front of about twenty 10 year olds.
Limerick?
Not really. It just rhymed so…well you know how it goes. It’s a bit clumsy but…meh. It’s something.
Our babysitter, mum’s brother Remus
had a rather large, quite hairy penis
As kids I’d share a bath
with my brother, such a laugh
and my uncle would climb in between us
Limerick?
It is Monday after all. Just about. It just about rhymes. Kinda.
An adventurous lassie from Derry
To her boyfriend: “Take my anal cherry”
Though he gagged on the fruit
Of her unwashed poop chute
Not to mention it was rather hairy
More things to tut at.
We all need something right?
October at last
sugar sweet and fancy dress
things under the bed
A life lesson
Choose to take heed or do not, that is wholly up to you of course.
Weekend with his mates
facebook photos tell a tale
insists only friends
Oh sweet Jesus kill me now!
bleurghhhh
Trip to India
Explodes from extremeties
Fool drinks the water
Why not, it is Sunday after all.
it happens I’m sure.
A quite curious frustrated vicar
said “I need to get laid” on the liquor
but hes dull and no looker
so he’s out with a hooker
with big boobs cos they get him off quicker
True story…
I am actually off to one soon as the kids are ready
Off to a food fair
Not going to have much though
Food coma awaits
A late night affair
Just something before bed
Once a lady of quite ill repute
played the penis just like ’twas a flute
she would give the girls tips
on the best use of lips
and then strum it like playing a lute
Ouchy
eye watering indeed
Burly baritone
frightful zipper malfunction
shrill soprano scream
Well it is weekend
so why not…
Saturday night thrills
nameless faces throbbing beats
Sunday walk of shame
A Saturday quickie
winky face
A lady with bosoms aplenty
Proved a hit with the men of the gentry
They succumbed to her wiles
And her winks and her smiles
But to church she was oft refused entry
Saucy
It happens…
A fellow from Bangor I met
Had a shirt that was soaked through with sweat
As he’d been on the run
From a priest and a nun
And a Bishop who’s wife he got wet
Out out…
One for the road
Maybe just the one
Trouserless in a fountain
best night out ever
Trendy Bendy Wendy
True story apparently.
Once a young single woman called Wendy
who in bed was fantastically bendy
after one or two beers
had her legs round her ears
with the chaps was incredibly trendy
Bad dad ;)
Worked a lot better when they were little…
Naughty kids informed
Not too late for adoption
See their faces drop
Lucy
yum
Friend of mine had this girlfriend called Lucy
Rather thin, none the less quite a beauty
Fed her bagels and chips
Ribs cakes burgers and dips
Now shes perfect, round curvy and juicy
Scorchio
Curry does it to me every time.
Heartburn like hades
We’ve all had a belch like that
When it turns to sick
Theo
Type 2 apparently
A Greek chap I know Theo Grafitis
Filled his face with cakes biscuits and sweeties
Grew progressively wider
On sweet apple cider
Nearly died, lost his toes, Diabetes
Whimsy
6 lines of words
Wistful she sits, her heart another’s and lost in fractured thought
to places far and wide she wanders in search of life and love and more
while heavy the bonds of obligation lie and soul so sadly smothered
and then behind her came a tiger and ate her face off and she was dead.
Sorry but I just saw the photo and it made me laugh. I am sure she is meant to be all pensive and comtemplative but really, there is a big frigging tiger behind her and she is a slip of a lass and barefoot so there is no way she will either fight it off or outrun it.
Maybe she’s thinking “Oh bollocks a tiger…” and the tiger is thinking “Hello hello what do we have here you look delicious”.
And why on earth is she wearing that daft dress out in the middle of a forest. It’s going to get bloody filthy and there’s no way she will get the muck out of it.
Some people…honest.
Afterwards 