My wellbeing journey – a change of plan.

A wanking related injury

You know that plan I had to do 12000-15000 steps a day? The one where Theo and I wander around Hipperholme enjoying the spring sunshine? Where we feel the wonderful benefits of increased mobility and a raised pulse? Well I am revising that target to 50. No, not 50000, 50.

Before I explain more you need To know that In Sheffield, where Mrs Afterwards is from, they Occasiondlly use the term ‘wanked’ instead of ‘sprained’. So yesterday when I entered youngest to get me a bag of peas she suspected that I had wanked my ankle.

Now at this juncture let me caution against googling the phrase ‘wanked ankle’ as it will invariably lead down an unpleasant rabbit hole that starts with ‘Bulgarian ankle wank’, meanders to all manner of atrocities involving white ankle socks and not once will it end in a bandaged foot in an elevated position. Well not unless it also involves a dwarf in a gimp suit brandishing two flaming dildos shouting obsceneties about the size of your toes.

And then you’ll need to delete your browsing history.

Anyway, lets leave those Sheffield folk to their weird ways and get back to more medical matters. Dirty bastards.

Turns out that when stepping down into the garden yesterday I went over on my ankle and chipped a bone. After a few minutes of agony on the grass I managed to get inside, took a few ibuprofen and iced it with a bag of peas. About an hour later I took a look thinking it would be a little swollen only to see A half tennis ball sized lump where my ankle used to be.

Anyway, it was off to the hospital and an xray later I was fitted with a boot and told to mostly take it very very easy for 3-6 weeks. All for one little chipped bone.

Guess I’ll need to be particularly careful with what I eat given my mobility will be particularly limited.

Turns out wanking really is bad for you.

Author: Michael

Husband, dad,(ex)programmer, comic collector and proud Yorkshireman. I have no idea why im here or why im writing but i rather enjoy it. no great fan of punctuation;

39 thoughts on “My wellbeing journey – a change of plan.”

  1. Well, that looks fucking painful.
    Fun fact – did you know that the “10,000” steps a day came from the idea that “most people, on average, walk about 7,000 steps a day, and if they workout for approximately 30 minutes, it should give them an additional 3,000 steps”?
    Apparently, the idea was less about the total number and more about what they assumed people were going to do to get that number. But…ya know how that kind of thing goes…so…here we all are knocking out 10k+ steps a day because our fitness band/overlords buzz and glow when we hit our magic step target.
    Anyway – hope the healing process goes well. Sprains are bitch and a half.
    Stay away from the chips and guacamole! (and the donuts)

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Cheers bud..i did manage to be more active that i thought i would be. 7000 on average…hmm. I guess my pre dog average at home of about 3000 makes me not at all average . special even 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You poor thing I’d suggest eating more vegetables to keep you fit while you are immobile, but I guess you’ll have a decision to make when it comes to frozen peas. I hope you heal quickly and you’re up and about sooner rather than later. Hey, if you have to be stuck in a boot, pandemic times are as good as any. Wait, isn’t a boot a car trunk over there? Oh dear, one wouldn’t want to be stuck there anytime.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. You poor thing I’d suggest eating more vegetables to keep you fit while you are immobile, but I guess you’ll have a decision to make when it comes to frozen peas. I hope you heal quickly and you’re up and about sooner rather than later. Hey, if you have to be stuck in a boot, pandemic times are as good as any. Wait, isn’t a boot a car trunk over there? Oh dear, one wouldn’t want to be stuck there anytime.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. hi.Linda!!! Vegetables as in chocolate? :). Ha no im not in a boot im.in a Boot. Being in A boot would be awful. Though I do remember being in one onCe as we were sneaked into the drive-in

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh how I laughed and laughed and laughed!! 🤣🤣🤣

    Not least as in the three seconds it took for the full post to load I was imagining how a wanking injury could leave a person in a cast (it’s amazing where your mind goes under pressure! 😬🤪)

    Anyhow… my laughs were for your wry tone of describing your fate my friend, obviously, not because you are actually injured.

    In fact, I did the very same thing just over 3 years ago and I still get niggles of pain now – so I can fully empathise.

    Hope you’ve got some decent painkillers and you’re back to stepping soon enough 👍👍🖤🖤

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I reckon if you did a search for exactly the same title there would be no shortage of posts n the subject and none of them would mention an ankle. Thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh no! That looks painful! I’m feeling your pain Michael – not only for the chipped bone in your ankle, but for the toll on your, not to mention Theo’s, walking regimen. That’s a long time to be down and sadly, you’ll have to start out slowly when you go back. My boss’ wife did something similar in her backyard a few years ago; she stepped into a hole in the yard that was covered over in leaves and broke her baby toe. She was in a boot for a while and after it healed, the pandemic happened. She/my boss were swimming a mile every morning, all year around at a local pool. To compensate for not swimming, she began walking 10+ miles a day and it aggravated the toe injury so she had a metal rod put in. Heal up fast – watch will you eat. Do eat more than bread and water young man. Probably lots of fruits and veggies … and oatmeal. Good thing you can sit to work … can you sit to cook too?

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Ha ! Im mostly on chocolate Since easter!

    Fortunately for work i can sit it even lie down 🙂 i spend a lot of time on the phone so that keeps me off my feet . Mrs afterwards is,dragging theo around now so its just me frustrated at home for a while.

    Im already weighing up potentisl activitoes to get me up and about properly so hopefully no nasty repercussions when i do get out and about again.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Oh no! I can’t say I know how you feel as I have never had a broken bone, but…OWIE! From the picture though it looks like Theo is keeping you company. Heal soon and be careful!

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Ha ha – well polish it off and enjoy it as you deserve some treat for that nasty ankle injury. That’s good it doesn’t impact work. Theo will be fat and sassy if you’d don’t recuperate quickly. I’ll be interested to see your alternatives for getting out and about.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Hey! I guess the how r u is obsolete since the wanking incident but at least now you have a bonafide excuse for lazing around. Looks painful but after a couple of weeks fumbling around on the boot you’ll be ready to walk on it again. Good luck!

    Liked by 2 people

  13. I hope you’re doing better – it’s been about a week. At least Theo doesn’t think it was something he did since you’re throwing a ball for him. Animals are so sensitive sometimes.

    Liked by 1 person

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