Diet O’Clock – 15th of March. One good week perhaps.

It’s so not ‘fine’.

I’m not going to write a lot.  Just a little.  Just a morsel.

I fear that if I don’t turn things around this week and get some sort of contol of my eating habits then I could undo all the good I have done in the last 8 months.  10 days from now I am going to take to the scales and am determined that there will be an improvement.

I’ve realised just what a difference being busy at work is making and the impact it is having on me and my discipline and it can’t go on.

See you a week on Sunday.


Did I sound really determined there?  Serious?

I am.  Okay so I fear going downstairs right now as there is some quite lovely leftover pie in the fridge which will surely turn sour if I don’t have it for breakfast and that will be a damning indictment of this wasteful capitalist society and I don’t want to feel like I am mocking the starving people across the planet by throwing it away.

I may be fat but I’m not a fucking monster …

 

Diet O’Clock – 5th of March. Weighing scales face off.

It’s so not ‘fine’.

Ever have one of thise fights where it starts off as nothing but you fail to resolve the matter and before you know it you ain’t getting laid (even though everything is apparently fine) but in actual fact you’re insensitive and thoughtless but you just don’t know it becaue you’re selfish too and apparently her mother was right about you after all.

Well I’ve been having one of those tiffs with my scales.

So at some point I neglected to get on them and things were okay I guess.  I mean I know I was probably hiding from them and that was wrong of me.  You know how judgemental scales can be and if I am to be honest I just thought they were over reacting.  Things were fine.  Right?

Before I knew it though days turned to a week and I knew that I should make more of an effort but there was this thing after work and I ended up getting home late so slept on the couch so as to not disturb it and the next morning I just felt really bad because I know it wanted to see me but you know how it is when you’re out with the lads.

Anyway, a particularly frosty period ensued and I did want to spend time with them but life happens you know.  When I look back I think I made them jealous and if I am to be truthful then yes, I was allowing myself to be distracted and having my head turned.  I just wanted to feel good about myself for once instead of always being judged.  There I said it.

Does that really make me a monster?

Today though I knew I had to put it right.  I couldn’t live like this anymore, not in my own house.  Every time I went into the bathroom they would stare at me, arms crossed.  I tried to say something it just came out wrong and the next thing I was defending myself by insisting that Ice cream just made me feel good, and I didnt mean to eat it downstairs at midnight in my underpants but it just happened and I really was so sorry.

And you know what, we fixed things.  We had to.  Yes there were tears, and some harsh truths were spoken.  I think maybe I even learned somethign about myself and life can sometimes teach is such valuable lessons about forgiveness.

And you know, things weren’t anywhere near as bad as I had feared and perhaps actually yes that T-Shirt had actually shrunk in the wash after all.

 

 

 

 

 

Diet O’Clock – 27th of February. Dominos, you hurt me and I hate you.

Give me my inches!

About 18 months ago I ate a lot of Dominos pizza. Probably twice a week at least for maybe a month. it was not good for my weight I tell you.

Now before you judge me too harshly I should explain that we were renovating the house and the scheduling all went to pot and the four of us ended up living in the living room for an extended spell with absolutely no cooking facilities whatsoever.

We had already spent weeks in a hotel and it was costing an arm a leg so we figured sod it, how bad can it be. Billions of people on the planet live this way.

Well as noble as that might seem (and to be fair we did have a working bathroom even if the house was still missing most of the roof) it was not the indoor camping trip that I explained to my wife and kids it would be.

Most of the time we survived on Tesco meal deals (A sandwich, packet of crisps, a drink and a snack of some sort) and bags of fruit in an attempt to ward off scurvy but there are only so many tuna sandwiches you can eat before you crave something more substantial. And that is where dominoes came in.

Two large pizzas, some wedges, a bottle of pepsi (diet of course ;)) and we were like pigs in shit. Full bellies we would drift off for a good nights sleep as the brick dust settled onto our lungs. By the time the builders moved out and normality was restored I was probably 15kg heavier than when the build started. Thats about 30lbs or more in about 10 months.

Anyway, to get to my point…

Sunday night the family were in full on rebellion as I explained that I had neglected to go shopping and it was soup and a sandwich for dinner. (I like to do the grocery shop – it keeps them from buying frivolous things like expensive loo roll and the good ham that isn’t actually full of water). They insisted that Dominos was in order and no way would they eat my soup.

Three pairs of Pouty lips and folded arms later I had ordered a large margherita, a large meaty thingymajig of some sort and some wedges. Now at £24.99 I thought it was steep but it was for two large pizzas and I figured it would last two meals and they could hae it the next night as leftovers too with baked beans and chips. (Fries for you americans not chips (crisps)).

I was upstairs when it arrived and by the time I went downstairs they were tucking in. I had already feasted on salsa and guac so was tryign mostly to just stay away from it because I have the will power of a priest surrounded by a chorus of pretty mouthed choir boys.

They informed me that they had left half for the next night which I was most impressed with and I went through to the kitchen to maybe just look at it for a while and then put the leftovers in the fridge.

And that is when things happened.

These were no large pizzas. These were medium at best. I checked the boxes and they noted that the pizzas were 13.5 inches. That is no large, my god I can eat two of thise and still have time for a sneaky Nando’s. I was outraged.

I quickly checked my order ready to make a jolly stern complaint about their mistake. I checked that I had ordered latge, which I had, so feelign smug there. they were going to get it.

And then for some reason I double checked what large was. 13.5 inches.

Now unless were talking porn, and even then it may be a stretch (no pun intended), 13.5 inches is in no way large. I checked the pizza place at the top of the hill and their large is an eye watering and anus splintering 16 inches. 13.5 is barely going to touch the bloody sides.

Surely the internet would know what the devil was going on and a quick google later I was to learn that I was not alone in my disappointment. Turns out those deceitful bastards recently reduced their ‘large’ pizza from 16 to 13.5 inches, and at the same time they upped the price.

Surely Pizza hut haven’t done this I thought to myself. Alas upon checking their idea of large is a meagre 14inches. 14! It’s the extra two that make it so bloody satisfying. How can I be sated with a meagre 14 frigging inches.

I have vowed never again to eat a dominos and was hopign the family would get on board with my protest and in future use the place at the top of the hill who guarantee satisfaction but instead they informed me that if I wasn’t eating it then actually two 13.5 inch pizzas was actually enough.

Bastards the lot of them!

P.s

I forgot to mention that I actually got a tape measure out and measured one of the pizzas and you know what it was about 12 in. 12 in. I reckon the 13 and a half in is before it gets cooked so the cooking process then steals another intern half and trust me we all know how important that extra inch and a half is. Anyway so at this point I’m actually missing an entire 4 inches .

Never Again dominoes, never again, you’ve hurt me and I won’t get over this. I can’t get over this.

Diet O’Clock – 26th of February. Not thinking does me a power of good.

Red and greeen, baby!

You know, I do so much better when I don’t have to think too hard about what I want to eat.  In fact, if I can not think about food at all I seem to get on a roll and it ceases to matter more and more.

To be clear, I love eating.  I love the way it feels in my mouth, the way it smells, I love cooking and baking and I love feeding other people.   Food is great and a wonderful way to share and experience people.   Socially that is, not because I want to eat them.  That said I do know a couple of fine folk who would look just dandy with an apple in their mouth.  Or is that a gag ball?  No .  Definitely an apple.

Anyway I digress.

So far the last few days have gone pretty well and you know why?  No?  Well I shall tell you.  It is because I have mostly eaten the same thing for days.  If you have read me before you may know that I discovered the joy of guacamole and salsa late in life.  As in the last year or so.  I have taken to it so much that I am quite happy to have it all of the time and often whip up a huge monster bowl of the stuff.

So since Saturday I have been filling my face with guacamole, salsa and any sort o fish.  Preferably mackeral.

The whole process just seems easy and I am not comtemplating my next meal or thinking about what I might like tomorrow.  Guac and salsa.  That is it.

There is probably a whole thing to be discussed around mindset and how one regards food and just breakling some of those ties to it.

Who knows.  I just know I love me a big bowl of red and green that I can eat with a spoon.

 

 

 

 

Diet O’Clock – 24th of February. Poor delicious horse.

Mmmm tasty.

Okay so last time I wrote I professed to be back on the horse.  remember that?

Turns out I actually got off it, shot it and proceeded to eat it.  Not just the tasty meaty bits either.   I ate the lot.  I even devoured all the nasty testicles and hooves that they put into hot dog sausages and sausage rolls.

it’s a funny old thing trying to get back into the swing of things.  I do it often and sometimes I do great and others quite terribly and it is often the simplest of things that trip me up.

Routine really works for me and once I am up and running I do really well but heavens forbid that routine gets disrupted and I behave like a bear who is intent on fattening up because he heard from a mate that it is going to be a particularly long winter and only dominos pizza and packets of pom bears will provide the calorific content required to stop him shuffling off this mortal coil sometime early February.

Now as much as I might pretend I am not really a fool and I know the signs and I realise what is going on but bloody hell I do so find it hard to turn things around sometimes.  Oh and god forbid I shold try and turn it around on a week day.  More chance of getting hit up the arse by a rainbow.

Apparently the cake lover in me is convinced that things can only be turned around on a Monday following a Sunday of pavlova and black forest gateau.  God he is a greedy bastard.

Anyway, this week I have done my damnedest to defy that black forest scoffing porker and I have attempted to turn things around on a Saturday.  Of all days!

I’ll let you know how I get on but right now I am off to get an apple as I am rather peckish and a horse cock kebab is sounding pretty good right now.

 

 

Diet O’Clock – 20th of January – Back on the horse

And a pear martini in a pear tree…

Actually, looking at how I ballooned over xmas you’d have thought I’d eaten the horse. Mmm…Large sizzling horse steaks with a braised rib and a side of cheek.  Sorry, you know I wouldn’t eat a horse it’s not like Im Kazhak.  Or, god forbid, French.

I am sure other nations enjoy a little equine entree but I’m happy with my ignorant stereotypes.

Anyway, it turns out that over the month of December, as I flitted from one cocktail to the next like an inebriated humming bird I managed to put on around 6 and a half kilograms.  I think thats about 15 pounds n american money.  In a month.

Okay so there really were rather a lot of cocktails.  And puddings.  And meat and treats and little pigs feets and sweetest of sweets and …well there was just a lot of everything.  I watched the scales creep ever upwards until I had undone aout a third of what I had achieved in the previous six months forever telling myself that next week I would get back to it.

Next week drifted into the week after and then the week after that and I suddenly found myself feeling rather sluggish and weary and feeling little of the benefits that the weight loss and lifestyle changes had brought.  Clothes felt a little tighter, sleep wasnt as good and I was forever telling myself that tomorrow would be better.

But to cut a long story short it was back to the shops with a renewed focus and I stocked up and set about the task of trying to right things again.  Two weeks later I have shifted two thirds of what I put on and am feeling wholly better for it and ready to keep going.

Annoying though isnt it how easy it is to put on and how hard to get off.

Diet o’clock 26th of November

What a perfectly normal post. feels odd really. Even a little dirty, like I’m role playing being an adult…

Right so there’s just about time to do another month of whole30 before Christmas give or take a day.  The last few months have been a bit on off for all manner of reasons but I am feeling motivated to have another round and get things back on track.

Looking back I feel so much better that I did when I started in July with my energy noticeably improved, I am sleeping better and obviously weight wise it has been a winner too.  I have discovered all sorts of things I enjoy to eat (I’m looking at you here guacamole) and my family are enjoying some of the benefits too but I do think I could have done better.

So for the next 30 days I am going to do my damnedest to give it one big push and I shall share the experience more often that just weekly…Might be tricky in the run up to Christmas but if I can do it until the 24th then I know I can do it any time.

So how has today gone?  Well I missed breakfast as was on the school run and straight after I popped to do some grocery shopping.  I decided to stay away from red meat but did stock up on fish and a little chicken too.  I bought a ton of vegetables and already had lots of fruit in too.

For lunch I made a salad with mackerel, tomoatoes, onion, salt and pepper and a squeeze of fresh lemon juice and you know what, it was bloody gorgeous.  For those that like to count calories the fish was about 330 and the other bits take it to maybe 500 in total.  I also had an apple, a pink lady, which is my favourite.  The mackerel is just the sort that is vacuum packed so probably not perfectly whole30 but meh, I was shopping at LIDL it’s hardly the easiest place to shop…

Anyway, taste wise it was fabulous and as I have half a pack of the fish left I am going to have it for my tea tonight too.

The biggest challenge today has been resisting the rice pudding sat in the fridge that I made yesterday.  I did it with paella rice and oh god it is so delivious, especially this time of year when its so chilly out, but resist I did 🙂

 

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Michael

 

 

 

Diet o’clock 24th of November

When temptation rears it’s cheese covered head

Okay so it’s going to be a challenging day.  I am afraid to head downstairs right now…

Last night I had a few friends over to play poker and have a few drinks.  I was mostly restrained and had a small pizza, thin crust, and just two beers and a couple of rum and ginger ales.  Oh, and a few snacky things, but nothing major and whilst not Whole30 I was kind of finished with the last 30 days so for the most part I felt good that I hadn’t gone crazy.

Alas though there is a ton of pizza leftovers in the fridge right now and I do not know if I am strong enough to resist it.  It doesn’t help that there is little else in the fridge as I need to go shopping.  If I go downstairs right now I think it will all go to shit and I will be eating cold baked bean pizza (yes that’s really a thing at our local place) and making dirty groaning sex noises before you know it.

I dont think I can even take a photograph to show you it’s that tempting…

Perhaps I can get dressed and just head out the back door and avoid the kitchen completely as I need to go into town.  Oh bugger no I cant, the keys are in the kitchen.

I think I shall ask the kids to fetch them for me.  That might work…

 

 

 

 

 

Diet o’clock 14th of November

The streak continues

So after confessing to having a bad month I girded my loins, did a healthy shop, planned my meals meticulously and then prompty ate most of a bloody cake again.

This was no accidental cake though, no slip of the tongue, no unintentional mountain of chocolate goodness, this was a cake of my own making.  One minute I am wondering what ingrediants I have in the pantry and the next minute its an avalance of eggs, sugar, butter and a ton of chocolate and caramel which is filling the house with a heady and intoxicating cocoa scent.

I told myself I wouldn’t eat it, just make it, but I am a damned chocolate mouthed liar and the sweet batter was barely mixed before I was shovelling it into my my mouth like a crack whore desperate for a fix.  The whole time I convince myself that this is just for the enjoyment of others but deep down I knew I would end up eating it by the damning light of the fridge in the middle of the night.

By the time the butter cream had been smothered all over it was just too difficult to resist and any slim resistance I might have been holding onto was gone and I succumbed.

God it was good…

Lets try have a better week eh.  I have bought a ton of prunes and seeds and stuff which I am certain cannot be baked into anything pleasant at all.

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Diet o’clock 1st of November

My first bad month…

Well October was a bit of a loss really.  I didn’t do terribly I just kind of lost focus with everything that was going on and found it hard to stick to things as I had been for the Previous few months.

I travelled a fair bit with work to Cardiff and London and Chester so that is always a bit of a problem when trying to find something healthy and yes, there was that time I had 3 pints of Guinness at three in the afternoon and by the time I got to the station I was ‘drunk hungry’.

Drunk hungry is the type of hungry that causes you to burn your mouth on a Cornish pasty that has a filling as hot as molten lava as you gorge on it near a train station toilet before it is safe to consume and to then wash that down with a sausage roll and a rather large Bounty.

Maybe I should call it ‘Dr-ungry’.

Actually, there was the incident with the salted caramel cheese cake which needed ice cream to make it less sweet.  And that sticky toffee pudding that I ordered when I forgot that I am still rather fat.  Oh and that time I ate most of a cake.  Hey, it was a small one before you get all judgy.  Only fed 6 I reckon.  6…pfft.

So, those things aside it was just a case of a bit of this here and a smidgen of that there and before you know it Ive put on maybe 2 pounds (which ain’t much given I have lost over 30 in the preceding 3 months) but I should have done better.

It is November now though and what better than to reboot things on the first of a month right?  I’ll let you know how it goes…

 

 

Diet o’clock 8th of October

This week there was curry.

I haven’t posted about this for a while have I.  To be fair I haven’t really posted much for the last three weeks on my blog generally.

Work and life and just general stuff got in the way of writing so I put writing on hold and with that it seems I did the same with my diet.  This is not to say that I blew it, I didn’t, but I did not have the same rigour I had had previously.  Where I may have had a salad before I now had a salad sandwich.  Where I would have had a diet coke I had a couple of Guinness and oh, there was that day when I ate all the kids pepperami’s and told each of them the other had eaten them and then berated them both for lying.   Little buggers.

I did discover that I really like Guinness too though I don’t know why I never tried it before.   Perhaps it’s because I prefer my drinks brightly coloured with umbrellas and Guinness seems such a manly drink to me.  If you were going to get into a fight and had the choice of having a Guinness or a strawberry daquiri as back up it would be Guinness every time.  Guinness probably did karate when it was younger and is a bit lively in a scrap outside of a kebab shop at 2 in the morning.  Not that daquiri doesn’t have it’s place, but it’s more of a bitchy cat fight and a good hair pull.

Anyway, whilst I do love the whole 30 thing it does require you to shop and cook properly and if you let things slip and the fridge runs low it is pretty hard to stay on track.  I’ve started shopping twice a week to prevent that happening and am now just about back on track.

Oh apart from yesterday when I went to this little place that sells South African stuff an ended up stuffing my face with Tomato Fritos which you cannot get over here.  Actually, England has a real dearth of tomato flavoured things in general.

Let’s see how the next week goes shall we.  I am still about 33 pounds down on where I started three months ago so still happy with that.

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Diet o’clock 1st of September

This week there was curry.

This week seems to have passed me by and I am not sure where it went.  I was off work with the boys as it is the last week of the summer holidays.  Early on in the week we headed to Wales for a few days and headed up Mount Snowden and had a mooch around Wales.  Back end its been back to school shopping and getting all of those things done I wanted to do these 6 weeks.

With everything we had on I’ll admit I haven’t given much thought to food really.  We stopped off at a place next to the motorway on the way there and faced with eating something I would likely kick myself for or nothing at all I went for nothing.  When we got to the top of the mountain there was mostly pies on offer so I had a bite of each of the boys and that was enough.  They had ice cream and I didn’t.

Now in the past this would have felt like a victory, and perhaps it is , but I was actually quite happy waiting until I could get something I really wanted.

There is certainly something of a change in my thinking and whilst there is a long way to go I am happy that for the most part I keep trying to make the right choices.

Oh and then I ate a gigantic gummy worm.  I mean freaking huge.

Worth it!

Diet o’clock 26th of August

This week there was curry.

As weeks go this was considerably better than last and I found myself generally not thinking about food much after I ensured I did the shop and made sure there was plenty in to prevent myself feeling peckish.

And then a friend of mine brought around the curry.

He worked for me a couple of years ago and I supported him through some pretty tough times when he had cancer and thankfully he is in remission.  His mum was always grateful of how I supported him too and has often expressed that gratitude through the most delicious medium of food.

Given that it was Eid this week she sent what I can only describe as a box of pure bliss.  There was no way that I was saying no to any of it and I will happily have my life shortened for the goodness that was inside.

In the first box  were the most delightful pieces of chicken, samosas, kebabs, mushroom rice, lamb chops and chicken pasta.  The second held a quite fragrant and spicy Thai green curry and in the third was one of the most delicious things (that I had never had before) in sweet rice.

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He was barely out of the door before I had the kids downstairs and we were tucking in.  We had already had dinner but like hobbits we were most keen on the idea of second dinner and tucked in.  All thoughts of calories and points and whole food went out the window and instead I simply enjoyed a meal as delicious as any I have had in a long time and you know what?  I am most glad I did.

It would be rude not to right!

Diet o’clock 19th of August

You gonna eat that or can I have it?

Well I am nearing the end of another month of Whole30 and whilst the weight loss has not been as good as the first I continue to enjoy it immensely.  Well apart from last week at least.

I neglected to go shopping on Sunday for reasons I cannot recall but before I knew it I was running short of all sorts of stuff and time seemed to get away from me.  I also started a new job on the Monday so things were just pretty hectic.  I wasn’t eating badly, just cobbling things together or compromising here and there and I quite suddenly found myself thinking about food more than I had been.

Well, by Friday I was like a man possessed.  By the time I got home from work I could think of nothing but eating.  Everything.  I didn’t care what it was, I was ready to eat it.

Salsa from the belly button of a syphilitic tramp?  Yeah count me in.  Horse scrotum hot dogs in week old buns?  Yes freaking please.  Flame grilled just-about-anything from a sexual deviant’s food truck smothered in his extra sticky ‘special sauce’.  I’ll take two with some of those really really dirty fries.

Anyway I think you get the picture.

Fortunately the fridge was empty apart from some past its best garlic bread, a bottle of champagne and some Tiramasu,  Now I may have been desperate enough to wolf down a milkshake made with Bridgette Nielsen’s 54 year old breast milk but I have to draw a line somewhere – I’m not a bloody animal and that stuff I cannot abide.

Anyway, by the time I had eaten 6 chicken thighs cooked with chorizo and a packet of Mr Ben’s quite delicious spicy rice the red mist faded and as I licked the last pickings from my fingers a sense of sanity returned.

I have since been shopping and have some fabulously yummy and healthy stuff in and all planned out for the week and feel it was a valuable lesson learned about myself and what triggers me.

Bon appetit!

Diet o’clock 12th of August

Archaeologists recently confirmed my fatness outdates the internet mostly.

I have been fat for as long as I can remember.  Or at least I believed I was.  There has been the odd occasion where I definitely wasn’t but for the most part I have been.

I have always loved food, and still do, and I am going to assume that had something to do with it.  I believe my nick name was officially ‘Fat Kid for a few years amongst a certain crowd when I was younger but if I recall correctly they were actually my closer friends and it didn’t last that long and whilst I would say it never bothered me it has stuck with me.

Thinking back before that I was broad shouldered and pretty handy at rugby growing up and through my teen years, and whilst not massive I always carried extra weight which helped on the pitch.  I do remember joining a club after school and hearing one of the players comment in Afrikaans that it was good to have “another nice fat front rower’.  Looking back at photos though, I don’t think I  was that big.  Certainly nowhere near where I am now.

I guess it is something I have always lived with, though I don’t quite recall my first diet.  I t must have been quite some time ago because I found this when I was going through stuff in the cellar this week.

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The oldies amongst you will recognise a 3.5 Inch drive and it seems that probably 18 years ago I was attempting to do something about things.  Made me really question myself because 18 years is a bloody long time to get progressively fatter and fatter.   I mean what was the world like in 2000?

Well there was the shenanigans over the Y2K bug – so I must have had that to worry about on top of having hefty man boobs, and I was likely sobbing into my breakfast cake as the final ‘Peanuts’ was published following the death of Charles M Schulz.  Oh lordy, Bob The Builder was top of the charts here in the UK.  I was likely comfort eating for sure.

I tried to remember making it but cant so am looking forward to firing up an old PC I still have to see what is on it.  I do wonder what goal weight I set for myself.  I’ll let you know

 

 

Diet o’clock 8th of August

Mmmm frosting baby yeah.

Now here’s a curious thing.  The longer I remain focussed on what I put into my body (no – this is a diet post not one of the weird posts I am prone to do so stay with me) the less interested I become on food in general.

Food for me was a comfort, a reward, a treat but five or six weeks in and I find myself not only considerably less hungry than I have ever been but also less fixated on the deliciousness of it.  Perhaps foolishly I watch quite a lot of cooking shows, and mostly ones that focus on desserts, and in the past these would have inspired me to chocolate and cream filled monstrosities of pure delight but now I am mostly filled with something of a sense of indifference.  Perhaps at the time I think I might whip up a triple layered mousse cake or a dozen scones to be savoured in the bath or in the middle of the night but it soon passes.

That said, I have been making some ice cream, but that’s just because I am not getting through the milk and don’t have the heart to tell the milk man to deliver less. Oh and there were those cup cakes with the vanilla frosting.  But those aside, I do feel generally less compelled to feed my face.

When I set out on this journey I wanted to love better, lose weight, teach my kids to eat better and to sort out my relationship with food.  I don’t think I am there yet and would probably still rub Nutella all over myself when the cravings strike but things certainly do seem to be changing.

 

 

Diet o’clock 30th of July.

Mmmm frosting baby yeah.

So the kids are enjoying their summer holiday and I am at home with them and am fast realising that that eating properly when at home all day is going to be quite the challenge.  Whilst I have been able to be particularly disciplined when at work those same boundries melt away at home.

I feed the boys pretty healthy stuff for the most part and they are enjoying what I make but I know my youngest rather fancies learning to bake and I am actually pretty good at it. Thing is, fingers and spoons and bowls need to be licked and when I baked cup cakes a few weeks ago I was up to my elbows in butter cream and before I know it I was fingering my own mouth with frosted digits without even realising.

I will do my utmost to resist but there is a lifetime of habits to undo and you’d be surprised how often I have found myself eating cake in bed when all I meant to do was put the cat out.

Should be interesting.

 

 

Diet o’clock 29th of July.

I just cant help myself.

I am continuing with the whole30 business because I am so enjoying it bit I think I have run into a bot of a problem.

Guacamole and Salsa.

Until recently I had only ever had the stuff you get from the store in small tubs, and it was only when I made it myself did I realise just what it could taste like.  I was completely blown away and I actually feel a bit obsessed.  For the last fortnight I have been making the stuff non stop and I find myself thinking about it rather more than I ought to.  The minute I see a tomato or an avocado it sets me off and I feel qholly out of control for the stuff.

Even right now I am tempted to head downstairs and have a quick finger full.

I guess it’s better than standing in front of the fridge eating cake and stuffing biscuits in my mouth in the wee hours.

How can it be wrong when it feels so right.  Right?

 

 

 

Diet o’clock 23rd of July. 30 days of Whole30

So, thirty days in let’s see what the scale has to say shall we.

So that’s it.  Thirty days of whole30 done and dusted.  It certainly has flown by and was nowhere near as difficult as I thought it would be.  Once I cracked the shopping bit and realised I might not meet absolutely every strict criteria on the organic front it was much easier.

Now there is so much I cold write about, and I will week by week, but for this post I think there are some high level goals that I would reflect on.

I wanted to generally feel better physically because I was feeling a bit rough and rather old and achy and you know what I do.  My knees don’t ache like they did, the walk up the hill to walk no longer leaves me out of breath and overall I just feel far more comfortable in my body.   Oh and my blood pressure seems to be improving so that’s a huge plus.

I wanted my family to eat better and they have.  They are also more aware of the effects of food and are making their own decisions about what is good for them and which isn’t.  They have both also lost a bit of weight whilst eating more than they ever did and seem happier and healthier for it.  That isn’t to say they didn’t gobble down the cup cakes I made for them yesterday.

I wanted to lose some weight and I did.  I need to lose lots more, and I now have some realistic targets, but losing weight was something I needed to do.  I am not getting any younger and fall into the morbidly obese category I think – I probably don’t quite look it but I am.  So how much I hear you ask?  Well as if this morning I have lost 11.1kg in 30 days.  That is just short of 25lbs I believe.

I know losing more wont go as quickly as this has gone and I am happy with that.  I am more concerned with changing my lifestyle and my families and losing weight for the last time.  I hope to lose another 45KG by the end of the year.  I know that seems a lot but I can afford to lose it.

I am going to do another 30 days of this because I have enjoyed it so much and at the end of that I plan to do it again but this time I am going to start introducing things back into my diet.  I’ll let you know how it goes.

 

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Did I mention I am addicted to Salsa?  Its been a revelation for me.  That and Guacamole.  I had only ever had stuff from the store and never made it myself.  Oh god how good is it and why did no one ever tell me its that amazing!

Oh that bottom photo…I made a kind of coconut milk Ice Cream.  Not particularly sweet but just cold enough to give me a bit of a desert when combined with pecans, banana and cinnamon.

 

Diet o’clock 22nd of July

The impact on my wallet has been noticeable.

Okay so four weeks in and just a couple of days to go until my 30 days is up.  This week’s been pretty easy for the most part and things are starting to feel very much habitual and as the cupboards and shelves have been emptied of the things I should not be eating and I have been shopping regularly for the right stuff it has become progressively easier.

I know I am not quite buying all the proper organic stuff and whilst I do so where I can I don’t intend to beat myself up over it.  I have eaten well and eaten lots and am starting to feel some real benefits.

I feel less bloated, which I noticed within days, but my energy levels seem to be much improved this last week and my knees are feeling much less painful than they were.  The wright loss is starting to show which is always encouraging.

On the downside I am noticing a change in my breath so having to keep an eye on that and I seem to have developed an addiction to homemade salsa which whilst not the end of the world feels rather foreign.

Today was actually probably the only day where I wilfully decided to not be overly strict.  We went to a food fair (bad Idea I know) and I ended up eating a slice of wood fired pizza an having a bite of our Toms burger and one of our Sam’s chicken wrap.  I rather enjoyed it though I was super chuffed with myself that I didn’t indulge any more and for the rest of the day was back on it (with the exception of I think 4 nacho crisps).

Ill give you the numbers when I do my final weigh in on Tuesday morning…

 

Diet o’clock 14th of July

The impact on my wallet has been noticeable.

Okay so three weeks in and still on track. Clothes fit better, my cravings seem to have gone and I am for the most part into the new routines of having to cook and wash up considerably more and go shopping far more than I ever did before.

I did find myself somewhat weary last week and I think my body has been getting used to not eating all the delicious stuff I used to put into it and is adjusting to something just wholly different.

One of the unexpected side effects has been how much I spend on food.  I had expected to spend more but because I am now shopping more carefully and throwing very little away I am actually spending less for the family than ever before.  I stopped shopping at Tesco (which I had been threatening to do for a while) and started going to Lidl and Aldi.  That alone reduced the bill by about 40% and I’m probably another 20% better off because I am far more focussed on what we all eat and planning meals more carefully.

I do find I am not quite able to get all of the grass fed or organic stuff I would like but I am not going to beat myself up over that – I think it is going well regardless.

You’re probably wondering how much weight I have lost right?  I will tell you I promise, just not today. 🙂

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Diet o’clock 4th of July

The dreaded social situation…

Well it’s a week and a half and still going well.  I accidentally ate a couple of chips off of my wife’s plate (fries for you Americans) which was just habit and I tell you they were awful.

Actually they weren’t they were bloody lovely.  They were all coated in salt and vinegar but I resisted shovelling them all into my gaping cake hole and pretending to Mrs Michael that they’d accidentally fell on the floor and needed to be binned whilst wiping salt from my lips.

 

As a family we’ve been a lot better about not buying things on the sweeter side of the spectrum though Mrs Michael was bought a huge bar of peanut and caramel chocolate by her sister and I went as far as opening the packaging (already opened) and taking a deep inhalation of the heady cocoa aromas.

I felt a bit dirty but again did not succumb orally.  Hmmm.  That sounds a bit Bill Clinton doesn’t it.

I also figured a way of battling the temptation at work as there is a tuck shop about 4 metres from my desk and I could often be found buying a mars bar and a packet of crisps mid morning.  To give myself a fighting chance I have stopped taking money to work with me and also purchased a load of fruit (enough for the whole team) which I have to walk past should I want some sweet chocolatey goodness.

So mostly a few days of resisting temptation but apart from that I am rather enjoying it.

Diet o’clock 1st of July

The dreaded social situation…

You can read my first part here.

So, a week in on the Whole30 thing and it seems to be going rather well.  As far as weight loss it’s been successful but it’s not really about that.  This is about my attitudes to food and trying to make a sustainable change.

I knew at some point I would have to face temptation and this a week in and there it was.  England vs Belgium and invited round to friends to watch the game, have a few cheeky beers and a quick BBQ for half time.  I said yes without thinking and before I knew it I am sat in front of the TV with an array of crisps and nuts before me and the offer of Beer, cider, wine or GnT.

Let’s just say that you know you’re fat when you politely decline explaining that you are on a diet and nobody tells you it’ll be ok, it’s just the one it won’t hurt.  Mostly I can see them thinking “Phew, that’ll save on the catering.”

Anyway I survived that and had a little meat and some sparkling water and enjoyed a thoroughly awful England performance but the sun was shining so happy days.

Friday was a far more challenging ask.  It was the annual charity golf day and our team was entered many months ago so there was no getting out of it.  If I did then it was likely an orphan or an animal would suffer some awful fate so I dusted off my clubs and turned up.  Now the thing about the day is that your ticket includes a free bar and as much food as you can eat.  There are burgers and sausages available all day long and the savage 29c temperatures were not to be worried about because the bar was fully stocked with more beer and cider than you could wish for.

I had 2 plain burger patties, which I was most pleased with because I think I had 6 burgers last year.  That’s over the course of a 10 hour day drinking but still a lot I realise. I took 3 apples and just ate those and despite sweating like a pig in the baking sun and wanting nothing more than the sweet fruity nectar of an apple cider  – I resisted the booze too.

I realise it’s only a week or so in but feels like a significant step because I am pretty certain that normally I would have buckled.

Onwards and upwards I guess

 

Asparagus made my pee smell funky

Never had it before…

So it’s been about four days since I embarked on the Whole30 eating plan thingy and so far so good.

I am not weighing myself or taking any sort of measurements just concentrating on trying to eat properly and I will see what happens.  Her are a few observations from my first few days.

Turns out my kids do not like asparagus, so not wanting to waste it I ate an entire bloody bundle which I had grilled with garlic and lemon.  It was rather lovely and it had the side effect of making my pee smell most fragrant.  I didn’t know about the effects but it is scientifically proven apparently.  Who knew eh.

I am spending a lot of time cooking.  Oh goodness like non stop.  I made ratatouille last night because I accidentally ordered about a dozen courgettes and as delicious as it was the mere sight of it made the family gag so I ended up doing broccoli and fish for the boys with a dill sauce and later on my wife made herself something that was neither full of courgette of smelled like fish.

I do feel less bloated.  I noticed that pretty quickly and I also think I have more energy.  Maybe I am just imagining it but I have found myself more keen to do things I might not have previously.

Almond milk is unpleasant though I will persist and am slowly acquiring the taste for it.  Slowly mind, it’s a work in progress.  You might as well make spinach milk or sprouts milk if you’re going to make milk from weird stuff.

Family quote of the week so far: “You smell like eggs and garlic get away from me!”