My wellbeing journey – April Results

It’s all gone a little bit yeasty.

April was going to be so much better than March. It really was. Then I broke my ankle, was rendered mostly immobile for weeks, and proceeded to eat all of the bread. I am not exaggerating, I didn’t just have a bit. I had it all.

Did you go to make some hot, buttered toast one morning, only to find the last slices mysteriously gone? Yes? I was probably sat outside your kitchen shovelling it into my face. Shortage of baps, bloomers and brioche at your local store. Yup, guilty as charged.

Doughnut, bagels, pretty much anything proven and baked. I couldn’t but help to put it inside myself.

I even found myself looking lustfully at other men’s baguette’s with my mouth watering thinking that if I waited until he wasn’t looking and just took it in my hand and nibbled on the end that might be enough to satisfy my cravings. But who am I kidding, Im a greedy, greedy boy and wanted the whole thing.

Oh what a sorry old state it is when you cannot rest until you have a mouthful of Italian 6 inch. Sub. 6 inch sub.

So with an average of less than 4000 steps a day and my teeth full of seeded batch loaf I look back at April as a wasted opportunity; then turn to May with renewed hope(and more than likely some sort of acquired gluten allergy). If that’s even a thing.

Let’s see how this month goes shall we…

My wellbeing journey – a change of plan.

A wanking related injury

You know that plan I had to do 12000-15000 steps a day? The one where Theo and I wander around Hipperholme enjoying the spring sunshine? Where we feel the wonderful benefits of increased mobility and a raised pulse? Well I am revising that target to 50. No, not 50000, 50.

Before I explain more you need To know that In Sheffield, where Mrs Afterwards is from, they Occasiondlly use the term ‘wanked’ instead of ‘sprained’. So yesterday when I entered youngest to get me a bag of peas she suspected that I had wanked my ankle.

Now at this juncture let me caution against googling the phrase ‘wanked ankle’ as it will invariably lead down an unpleasant rabbit hole that starts with ‘Bulgarian ankle wank’, meanders to all manner of atrocities involving white ankle socks and not once will it end in a bandaged foot in an elevated position. Well not unless it also involves a dwarf in a gimp suit brandishing two flaming dildos shouting obsceneties about the size of your toes.

And then you’ll need to delete your browsing history.

Anyway, lets leave those Sheffield folk to their weird ways and get back to more medical matters. Dirty bastards.

Turns out that when stepping down into the garden yesterday I went over on my ankle and chipped a bone. After a few minutes of agony on the grass I managed to get inside, took a few ibuprofen and iced it with a bag of peas. About an hour later I took a look thinking it would be a little swollen only to see A half tennis ball sized lump where my ankle used to be.

Anyway, it was off to the hospital and an xray later I was fitted with a boot and told to mostly take it very very easy for 3-6 weeks. All for one little chipped bone.

Guess I’ll need to be particularly careful with what I eat given my mobility will be particularly limited.

Turns out wanking really is bad for you.

My wellbeing journey – March Results

Screw you March.

First things first. Screw March. That’s right, you and the horse you rode in on.

Now that that’s out of the way let’s see how it went last month shall we.

Look, it wasn’t a bad month. I have had worse. I have had month’s where it feels like I have single handedly supported the chocolate industry through challenging trading conditions. There were periods where I am certain that I ensured a healthy dividend pay-out to Krispy Kreme shareholders. And there were times when my expanding girth definitely kept nimble fingered small children in far-eastern sweatshops gainfully employed as I was forced to replace my wardrobe with less ill fitting garments.

It was just a month where things just felt …meh.

Yes I managed to do 12000 steps a day at least, and mostly I drank plenty of water every day. I even managed to maintain a relatively normal amount of calories. So like I said, not a bad month. It just felt rather out of control and by chance and not at all focussed. I think I concentrated too much on simple calorie intake rather than focussed meals which left me eating lots of snacks or in-between type of food instead of prepared meals (during the day at least as most nights I have a Hello Fresh meal ready to prep and devour).

I just found it all rather annoying as I know I can do better.

So this month I have started with a renewed focus on balancing my intake and ensuring I have a good balance of Carbs, proteins, fat and fibre. (though I may have threatened to do that last month too). I am also increasing my calorie intake as have been doing some research and think I need to eat more. Sounds daft right, but we shall see whether increasing my calories by around 500 (but focussing on balance inputs) makes a difference.

That said, it’s Easter this weekend so there has been a ton of chocolate around so my balance may be a little off for a couple of days. I simply cannot resist a Cadburys cream egg. I just can’t so I don’t even try.

Anyway, so after 10 months I remain about 22Kg(48 pounds) down from where I started. Not bad I guess. Could have been better but then again, could have been a hell of a lot worse.

My wellbeing journey – February Results

It’s weigh in day for February…drum roll please.

You can read the kick off post here

Let’s get straight to it shall we.

  1. Steps: I achieved my target of 15000 a day every day, with a high of 21000 steps and a low of 15010.

2. I was aiming to fast intermittently and eat between 12pm and 6pm. Probably achieved it half of the time. Life just gets in the way and I kind of don’t beat myself up about it. There may be physiological benefits to it but mostly it just feels like skipping breakfast and not snacking at night. I guess that doesn’t have the same ring as ‘intermittent fasting’ does it. It does help me be disciplined though and that I really do like.

3. Limiting my calorie intake to 2000 a day at the very most. I Hit this most of the time. I track pretty accurately using the Samsung Health app and at least know when I go over and why. I don’t limit anything so eat what I like mostly and try to maintain a deficit of 500 calories a day with the aim of losing 0.5KG/1Lb a week because I am looking for something sustainable – not quick gains. I could probably lose more weight faster given I am pretty active but I love food. And eating. And fat…and sugar…and mmmm I think there is an open carton of custard in the fridge that I might eat tonight!

4. Drinking 2 litres of water every day. Yup pretty much on track there. My old man bladder doesn’t always thank me but it’s apparently good for me right. Right? Stupid 4am pee wake up call!

So there you have it. Things work. I think thoughmostly it comes down to consistency and not throwing in the towel when I eat an entire packet of hobnobs. Don’t know what they are? They’re a bit like crack cocaine – just with more oats and sugar.

Oh I didn’t say what weight I lost did I. Think it was about 2.5 kg – that’s in the 5Lb range. So in total that is now about 22kg/48LBS. (That includes about 10LBS that I have to lose twice because I indulged like a Roman Emperor over Christmas). In total that’s about the weight of an adult clouded Leopard. Seriously. Look it up…

1.So what will I do differently in March? 3 things I think:

2.Be a little tighter on my calorie intake and try to stay at 2000 more consistently. Try run a bit more. Maybe 4 times a week – just to work on my heart health.

3.Eat a bit more protein and a bit less carbohydrates. I need a bit better balance of things (according to the food tracker) as I have been eating a lot of pasta, bread, rice (and rice cakes, my god I eat a lot of those).

My wellbeing journey – January Results

It’s weigh in day…drum roll please…

You can read the kick off post here

So, for January I set out to only eat between 12 and 6, to eat around 2000 calories a day and do 10000 steps. Simple right? So let’s get straight to the results shall we.

On the fasting front it was a bit hit and miss. I stopped using the ‘Fastic’ app when my phone broke and I think the lack of accountability (to the app) made me focus less so I missed quite a few days. Mostly I tend to just forget and I will be making breakfast for the family and suddenly I am munching on something purely by accident. Although there was the day I ate a whole box of fudge. That wasn;t an accident. I did it on purpose. I meant to do it. I wanted to do it. There was no way I could resist so I didn’t even try. Sorry, not sorry.

On the calories front I mostly averaged about 2 thousand. The Hello Fresh meals are helping me track more accurately and I use the Samsung Health tracker to record everything that goes in. There have been days when I haven;t done so well but I always try and recover the next day and don’t let one bad day ruin my efforts. There have been days when I ate a lot of cake, or a greasy takeaway or maybe I had a few beers that might have pushed my totals but I am happy with where I am in my head when it comes to food and that’s the important thing for me.

Steps was probably my biggest success and I did 1000 for the first few days but actually upped the target to 12000 as was pretty much doing this without too much effort. I did manage 20000 one day when instead of sitting at my desk for an hour long boring work call I walked on the treadmill for an hour on a boring work call. I am going to try and do more of that this month and have a target of 15000 a day. the majority of that will be done on the treadmill I think.

So before I tell you my weight loss, there were a few more things I challenged myself to do. Firstly I intend to finish a book each month, and by ensuring I read X number of pages a day I got through Margaret Atwood’s ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’. I am a huge fan of the show and thought I ought to read the book. It left me feeling…hmmm…I will write more about that later I think. I felt stuff though, and that’s a good thing right.

I also tried to tie up television loose ends. Might sound daft but sometimes I get frustrated having started things and not finishing them so I made a concerted effort to finish a few things I had started. And it felt good. Perhaps it’s strange to think of watching TV as an achievement but it felt good none the less.

I finished Silicon Valley, which pretty much made me cry and I finished the Mandalorian Series 1 which makes me all warm and happy that it exists.

Oh and I tried to blog every day. I missed a day or two I think but mostly really happy with where I got to with that.

So all in all a good month. And I lost 5KG/11 LBS.

This month it’s very much the same, Food, steps, fast, watch, write but I also need to spend more time with the boys. We are all cooped up in the house together so it’s easy to take things for granted but they are getting older now and very easy to let a day go by and not really interact in a meaningful way, so I will attempt to do something about that.

So there you go. That was January.

Onwards to February!

My wellbeing journey – Fit by 50 – 26th of January 2021

Get fresh at the weekend…

You can read the kick off post here

I like to cook. Not as much as I like to eat, but obviously one tends to come before the other. Do it the other way round and you’re likely to suffer from Ecoli or bum worms or something equally horrid.

Anyway, lockdown has meant that I am cooking even more than ever and the youngest one day sent me a link explaining all about Hello Fresh and why it would be a good idea. I think they were growing tired of the same old stuff and to be honest they were probably right. I have a set number of things I can cook, and whilst I own a whole load of cook books, I often just revert to what I know for sake of expediency.

So given find it hard to say no to my children on most things we were signed up in a flash.

If you haven’t seen Hello Fresh before it is a service where they send you just enough food to make a certain number of meals each week (including recipe cards). You pick the meals by a certain day, from a selection of about thirty on an app, and a few days later a box arrives. Seems simple really.

I’d like to say I did research, compared prices, made a considered choice. I’d also like to say I am 6ft tall and look great in skinny jeans. Neither of these things are true. I am compulsive and often wasteful and were I to don skinny jeans I imagine my legs would look like sausage skins that had been overfilled.

So anyway the box arrives and my first thought was “ooh that looks nice”. There were pots of spices and saches of sauce, all carefully portioned out , and the meat and veg looked fresh and clean. My second thought was “Im going to be rather hungry “. No way was this enough food for three people (me and the boys) for 4 meals. (Mrs Afterwards is not partaking as she is vegetarian and her favourite flavour is bland, so it was not for her.)

The youngest is now in charge of cooking everything (small hands make light work, right?), so we get stuck in and whip up the first meal. The recipe cards are easy to follow and in no time at all we have ourselves sea bream and rice and bits of greenery and veg strewn through it.

And it was gorgeous. And shockinlgy there was plenty of it. I would definitely have bought twice as much to make this meal and likely thrown a lot away, or it would have sat in the fridge spoiling. So when it comes to saving on waste its definitely a winner.

The ingredients were all really good and with the exception of a lemon that was as dry as Queen Victoria’s dirty love trumpet (I don’t know why I added the word dirty there – that in itself feels rather dirty) and a potato that looked like a Syphilitic Jimmy Nail. (Though it might actually have come from Morrisons Supermarket as I did mix the potatoes up – so I could be being unfair.) I like the idea of not having to have loads of bottles of things like hoisin sauce and soy sauce and tubs of sesame seeds and such. I have just enough for the meals and that works for me. I still have a bottle of fish sauce going back about 12 months that I have no idea what to do with. What the hell is it even? I guess the name says it all but still, who the devil needs a sauce made out of fish. Sounds horrid.

I don’t have a picture of the Queen’s lady garden so this will have to do. Jimmy nail below for comparison to the smug looking spud.

So you want to know about price right? Well I got a huge discount of the first box and significant ones on the next lot so it was only about £25 for the week. At full price it will come in at about £3.70 a meal I think. Whilst I could do it cheaper if I shopped I am sure, this is still not much off the cost of one of those meal deals at our local Co-Op store. There it’s £3.50 I think for a sandwich, crisps and a coke.

So balancing up cost, ease of us, reduction in waste and not forgetting deliciousness and variety I am absolutely sold on it. Throw in how involved my youngest has been about cooking (though he now wants his own knife set!) I think I am sold on it most definitely. There are apparently other services out there like Gusto, which I might try, but for the next few weeks I shall be getting the most out of this and hopefully trying loads of new things I would never have bought otherwise.

Oh and calories. I forgot about that. Obviously I am mindful of what I put into this flabby, balding and mostly dilapidated temple of mine. The menus are pretty clear about what this costs when it comes to my calorie deficit efforts and with light versions available (less than 600 calories) and even the cheesier and meatier options we have had coming in at around 800 calories I am more than happy defiling this wobbly shrine of mine with it’s delicious goodness.

Bon appetit!

Oh and I will slip this in at the end. Not because I want you to but because you can if you want to, it’s really up to you. Your experience with it might be awful so I take no responsibility for it. But, if you want £20 off your first box then there’s a link below. I get £20 too. That said I imagine there are better deals out there as I got 60% off my first box and 35% off my next 3 just by searching online.

I really hate exercise – SoundCloud

Profanities and sexual references galore

So my question for physical inperfection now includes exercise. I hate it. So much. Want to know how much ? Take a listen. Be warned…its really inappropriate and you wouldn’t want your kids listening to it. Unless they’re Jerry Falwell Junior. He would be cool with it I’m sure.

Mostly just ten minutes of me sweating and sweating and making sexual references about exercise machines ..

Listen to I really hate exercise by michael on #SoundCloud https://soundcloud.com/michael-307185057/i-really-hate-exercise

Diet O’Clock – 15th of March. One good week perhaps.

It’s so not ‘fine’.

I’m not going to write a lot.  Just a little.  Just a morsel.

I fear that if I don’t turn things around this week and get some sort of contol of my eating habits then I could undo all the good I have done in the last 8 months.  10 days from now I am going to take to the scales and am determined that there will be an improvement.

I’ve realised just what a difference being busy at work is making and the impact it is having on me and my discipline and it can’t go on.

See you a week on Sunday.


Did I sound really determined there?  Serious?

I am.  Okay so I fear going downstairs right now as there is some quite lovely leftover pie in the fridge which will surely turn sour if I don’t have it for breakfast and that will be a damning indictment of this wasteful capitalist society and I don’t want to feel like I am mocking the starving people across the planet by throwing it away.

I may be fat but I’m not a fucking monster …

 

Diet O’Clock – 5th of March. Weighing scales face off.

It’s so not ‘fine’.

Ever have one of thise fights where it starts off as nothing but you fail to resolve the matter and before you know it you ain’t getting laid (even though everything is apparently fine) but in actual fact you’re insensitive and thoughtless but you just don’t know it becaue you’re selfish too and apparently her mother was right about you after all.

Well I’ve been having one of those tiffs with my scales.

So at some point I neglected to get on them and things were okay I guess.  I mean I know I was probably hiding from them and that was wrong of me.  You know how judgemental scales can be and if I am to be honest I just thought they were over reacting.  Things were fine.  Right?

Before I knew it though days turned to a week and I knew that I should make more of an effort but there was this thing after work and I ended up getting home late so slept on the couch so as to not disturb it and the next morning I just felt really bad because I know it wanted to see me but you know how it is when you’re out with the lads.

Anyway, a particularly frosty period ensued and I did want to spend time with them but life happens you know.  When I look back I think I made them jealous and if I am to be truthful then yes, I was allowing myself to be distracted and having my head turned.  I just wanted to feel good about myself for once instead of always being judged.  There I said it.

Does that really make me a monster?

Today though I knew I had to put it right.  I couldn’t live like this anymore, not in my own house.  Every time I went into the bathroom they would stare at me, arms crossed.  I tried to say something it just came out wrong and the next thing I was defending myself by insisting that Ice cream just made me feel good, and I didnt mean to eat it downstairs at midnight in my underpants but it just happened and I really was so sorry.

And you know what, we fixed things.  We had to.  Yes there were tears, and some harsh truths were spoken.  I think maybe I even learned somethign about myself and life can sometimes teach is such valuable lessons about forgiveness.

And you know, things weren’t anywhere near as bad as I had feared and perhaps actually yes that T-Shirt had actually shrunk in the wash after all.

 

 

 

 

 

Diet O’Clock – 27th of February. Dominos, you hurt me and I hate you.

Give me my inches!

About 18 months ago I ate a lot of Dominos pizza. Probably twice a week at least for maybe a month. it was not good for my weight I tell you.

Now before you judge me too harshly I should explain that we were renovating the house and the scheduling all went to pot and the four of us ended up living in the living room for an extended spell with absolutely no cooking facilities whatsoever.

We had already spent weeks in a hotel and it was costing an arm a leg so we figured sod it, how bad can it be. Billions of people on the planet live this way.

Well as noble as that might seem (and to be fair we did have a working bathroom even if the house was still missing most of the roof) it was not the indoor camping trip that I explained to my wife and kids it would be.

Most of the time we survived on Tesco meal deals (A sandwich, packet of crisps, a drink and a snack of some sort) and bags of fruit in an attempt to ward off scurvy but there are only so many tuna sandwiches you can eat before you crave something more substantial. And that is where dominoes came in.

Two large pizzas, some wedges, a bottle of pepsi (diet of course ;)) and we were like pigs in shit. Full bellies we would drift off for a good nights sleep as the brick dust settled onto our lungs. By the time the builders moved out and normality was restored I was probably 15kg heavier than when the build started. Thats about 30lbs or more in about 10 months.

Anyway, to get to my point…

Sunday night the family were in full on rebellion as I explained that I had neglected to go shopping and it was soup and a sandwich for dinner. (I like to do the grocery shop – it keeps them from buying frivolous things like expensive loo roll and the good ham that isn’t actually full of water). They insisted that Dominos was in order and no way would they eat my soup.

Three pairs of Pouty lips and folded arms later I had ordered a large margherita, a large meaty thingymajig of some sort and some wedges. Now at £24.99 I thought it was steep but it was for two large pizzas and I figured it would last two meals and they could hae it the next night as leftovers too with baked beans and chips. (Fries for you americans not chips (crisps)).

I was upstairs when it arrived and by the time I went downstairs they were tucking in. I had already feasted on salsa and guac so was tryign mostly to just stay away from it because I have the will power of a priest surrounded by a chorus of pretty mouthed choir boys.

They informed me that they had left half for the next night which I was most impressed with and I went through to the kitchen to maybe just look at it for a while and then put the leftovers in the fridge.

And that is when things happened.

These were no large pizzas. These were medium at best. I checked the boxes and they noted that the pizzas were 13.5 inches. That is no large, my god I can eat two of thise and still have time for a sneaky Nando’s. I was outraged.

I quickly checked my order ready to make a jolly stern complaint about their mistake. I checked that I had ordered latge, which I had, so feelign smug there. they were going to get it.

And then for some reason I double checked what large was. 13.5 inches.

Now unless were talking porn, and even then it may be a stretch (no pun intended), 13.5 inches is in no way large. I checked the pizza place at the top of the hill and their large is an eye watering and anus splintering 16 inches. 13.5 is barely going to touch the bloody sides.

Surely the internet would know what the devil was going on and a quick google later I was to learn that I was not alone in my disappointment. Turns out those deceitful bastards recently reduced their ‘large’ pizza from 16 to 13.5 inches, and at the same time they upped the price.

Surely Pizza hut haven’t done this I thought to myself. Alas upon checking their idea of large is a meagre 14inches. 14! It’s the extra two that make it so bloody satisfying. How can I be sated with a meagre 14 frigging inches.

I have vowed never again to eat a dominos and was hopign the family would get on board with my protest and in future use the place at the top of the hill who guarantee satisfaction but instead they informed me that if I wasn’t eating it then actually two 13.5 inch pizzas was actually enough.

Bastards the lot of them!

P.s

I forgot to mention that I actually got a tape measure out and measured one of the pizzas and you know what it was about 12 in. 12 in. I reckon the 13 and a half in is before it gets cooked so the cooking process then steals another intern half and trust me we all know how important that extra inch and a half is. Anyway so at this point I’m actually missing an entire 4 inches .

Never Again dominoes, never again, you’ve hurt me and I won’t get over this. I can’t get over this.

Diet O’Clock – 26th of February. Not thinking does me a power of good.

Red and greeen, baby!

You know, I do so much better when I don’t have to think too hard about what I want to eat.  In fact, if I can not think about food at all I seem to get on a roll and it ceases to matter more and more.

To be clear, I love eating.  I love the way it feels in my mouth, the way it smells, I love cooking and baking and I love feeding other people.   Food is great and a wonderful way to share and experience people.   Socially that is, not because I want to eat them.  That said I do know a couple of fine folk who would look just dandy with an apple in their mouth.  Or is that a gag ball?  No .  Definitely an apple.

Anyway I digress.

So far the last few days have gone pretty well and you know why?  No?  Well I shall tell you.  It is because I have mostly eaten the same thing for days.  If you have read me before you may know that I discovered the joy of guacamole and salsa late in life.  As in the last year or so.  I have taken to it so much that I am quite happy to have it all of the time and often whip up a huge monster bowl of the stuff.

So since Saturday I have been filling my face with guacamole, salsa and any sort o fish.  Preferably mackeral.

The whole process just seems easy and I am not comtemplating my next meal or thinking about what I might like tomorrow.  Guac and salsa.  That is it.

There is probably a whole thing to be discussed around mindset and how one regards food and just breakling some of those ties to it.

Who knows.  I just know I love me a big bowl of red and green that I can eat with a spoon.

 

 

 

 

Diet O’Clock – 24th of February. Poor delicious horse.

Mmmm tasty.

Okay so last time I wrote I professed to be back on the horse.  remember that?

Turns out I actually got off it, shot it and proceeded to eat it.  Not just the tasty meaty bits either.   I ate the lot.  I even devoured all the nasty testicles and hooves that they put into hot dog sausages and sausage rolls.

it’s a funny old thing trying to get back into the swing of things.  I do it often and sometimes I do great and others quite terribly and it is often the simplest of things that trip me up.

Routine really works for me and once I am up and running I do really well but heavens forbid that routine gets disrupted and I behave like a bear who is intent on fattening up because he heard from a mate that it is going to be a particularly long winter and only dominos pizza and packets of pom bears will provide the calorific content required to stop him shuffling off this mortal coil sometime early February.

Now as much as I might pretend I am not really a fool and I know the signs and I realise what is going on but bloody hell I do so find it hard to turn things around sometimes.  Oh and god forbid I shold try and turn it around on a week day.  More chance of getting hit up the arse by a rainbow.

Apparently the cake lover in me is convinced that things can only be turned around on a Monday following a Sunday of pavlova and black forest gateau.  God he is a greedy bastard.

Anyway, this week I have done my damnedest to defy that black forest scoffing porker and I have attempted to turn things around on a Saturday.  Of all days!

I’ll let you know how I get on but right now I am off to get an apple as I am rather peckish and a horse cock kebab is sounding pretty good right now.

 

 

Diet O’Clock – 20th of January – Back on the horse

And a pear martini in a pear tree…

Actually, looking at how I ballooned over xmas you’d have thought I’d eaten the horse. Mmm…Large sizzling horse steaks with a braised rib and a side of cheek.  Sorry, you know I wouldn’t eat a horse it’s not like Im Kazhak.  Or, god forbid, French.

I am sure other nations enjoy a little equine entree but I’m happy with my ignorant stereotypes.

Anyway, it turns out that over the month of December, as I flitted from one cocktail to the next like an inebriated humming bird I managed to put on around 6 and a half kilograms.  I think thats about 15 pounds n american money.  In a month.

Okay so there really were rather a lot of cocktails.  And puddings.  And meat and treats and little pigs feets and sweetest of sweets and …well there was just a lot of everything.  I watched the scales creep ever upwards until I had undone aout a third of what I had achieved in the previous six months forever telling myself that next week I would get back to it.

Next week drifted into the week after and then the week after that and I suddenly found myself feeling rather sluggish and weary and feeling little of the benefits that the weight loss and lifestyle changes had brought.  Clothes felt a little tighter, sleep wasnt as good and I was forever telling myself that tomorrow would be better.

But to cut a long story short it was back to the shops with a renewed focus and I stocked up and set about the task of trying to right things again.  Two weeks later I have shifted two thirds of what I put on and am feeling wholly better for it and ready to keep going.

Annoying though isnt it how easy it is to put on and how hard to get off.

Diet o’clock 26th of November

What a perfectly normal post. feels odd really. Even a little dirty, like I’m role playing being an adult…

Right so there’s just about time to do another month of whole30 before Christmas give or take a day.  The last few months have been a bit on off for all manner of reasons but I am feeling motivated to have another round and get things back on track.

Looking back I feel so much better that I did when I started in July with my energy noticeably improved, I am sleeping better and obviously weight wise it has been a winner too.  I have discovered all sorts of things I enjoy to eat (I’m looking at you here guacamole) and my family are enjoying some of the benefits too but I do think I could have done better.

So for the next 30 days I am going to do my damnedest to give it one big push and I shall share the experience more often that just weekly…Might be tricky in the run up to Christmas but if I can do it until the 24th then I know I can do it any time.

So how has today gone?  Well I missed breakfast as was on the school run and straight after I popped to do some grocery shopping.  I decided to stay away from red meat but did stock up on fish and a little chicken too.  I bought a ton of vegetables and already had lots of fruit in too.

For lunch I made a salad with mackerel, tomoatoes, onion, salt and pepper and a squeeze of fresh lemon juice and you know what, it was bloody gorgeous.  For those that like to count calories the fish was about 330 and the other bits take it to maybe 500 in total.  I also had an apple, a pink lady, which is my favourite.  The mackerel is just the sort that is vacuum packed so probably not perfectly whole30 but meh, I was shopping at LIDL it’s hardly the easiest place to shop…

Anyway, taste wise it was fabulous and as I have half a pack of the fish left I am going to have it for my tea tonight too.

The biggest challenge today has been resisting the rice pudding sat in the fridge that I made yesterday.  I did it with paella rice and oh god it is so delivious, especially this time of year when its so chilly out, but resist I did 🙂

 

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Michael

 

 

 

Diet o’clock 24th of November

When temptation rears it’s cheese covered head

Okay so it’s going to be a challenging day.  I am afraid to head downstairs right now…

Last night I had a few friends over to play poker and have a few drinks.  I was mostly restrained and had a small pizza, thin crust, and just two beers and a couple of rum and ginger ales.  Oh, and a few snacky things, but nothing major and whilst not Whole30 I was kind of finished with the last 30 days so for the most part I felt good that I hadn’t gone crazy.

Alas though there is a ton of pizza leftovers in the fridge right now and I do not know if I am strong enough to resist it.  It doesn’t help that there is little else in the fridge as I need to go shopping.  If I go downstairs right now I think it will all go to shit and I will be eating cold baked bean pizza (yes that’s really a thing at our local place) and making dirty groaning sex noises before you know it.

I dont think I can even take a photograph to show you it’s that tempting…

Perhaps I can get dressed and just head out the back door and avoid the kitchen completely as I need to go into town.  Oh bugger no I cant, the keys are in the kitchen.

I think I shall ask the kids to fetch them for me.  That might work…

 

 

 

 

 

Diet o’clock 14th of November

The streak continues

So after confessing to having a bad month I girded my loins, did a healthy shop, planned my meals meticulously and then prompty ate most of a bloody cake again.

This was no accidental cake though, no slip of the tongue, no unintentional mountain of chocolate goodness, this was a cake of my own making.  One minute I am wondering what ingrediants I have in the pantry and the next minute its an avalance of eggs, sugar, butter and a ton of chocolate and caramel which is filling the house with a heady and intoxicating cocoa scent.

I told myself I wouldn’t eat it, just make it, but I am a damned chocolate mouthed liar and the sweet batter was barely mixed before I was shovelling it into my my mouth like a crack whore desperate for a fix.  The whole time I convince myself that this is just for the enjoyment of others but deep down I knew I would end up eating it by the damning light of the fridge in the middle of the night.

By the time the butter cream had been smothered all over it was just too difficult to resist and any slim resistance I might have been holding onto was gone and I succumbed.

God it was good…

Lets try have a better week eh.  I have bought a ton of prunes and seeds and stuff which I am certain cannot be baked into anything pleasant at all.

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Diet o’clock 1st of November

My first bad month…

Well October was a bit of a loss really.  I didn’t do terribly I just kind of lost focus with everything that was going on and found it hard to stick to things as I had been for the Previous few months.

I travelled a fair bit with work to Cardiff and London and Chester so that is always a bit of a problem when trying to find something healthy and yes, there was that time I had 3 pints of Guinness at three in the afternoon and by the time I got to the station I was ‘drunk hungry’.

Drunk hungry is the type of hungry that causes you to burn your mouth on a Cornish pasty that has a filling as hot as molten lava as you gorge on it near a train station toilet before it is safe to consume and to then wash that down with a sausage roll and a rather large Bounty.

Maybe I should call it ‘Dr-ungry’.

Actually, there was the incident with the salted caramel cheese cake which needed ice cream to make it less sweet.  And that sticky toffee pudding that I ordered when I forgot that I am still rather fat.  Oh and that time I ate most of a cake.  Hey, it was a small one before you get all judgy.  Only fed 6 I reckon.  6…pfft.

So, those things aside it was just a case of a bit of this here and a smidgen of that there and before you know it Ive put on maybe 2 pounds (which ain’t much given I have lost over 30 in the preceding 3 months) but I should have done better.

It is November now though and what better than to reboot things on the first of a month right?  I’ll let you know how it goes…

 

 

Diet o’clock 8th of October

This week there was curry.

I haven’t posted about this for a while have I.  To be fair I haven’t really posted much for the last three weeks on my blog generally.

Work and life and just general stuff got in the way of writing so I put writing on hold and with that it seems I did the same with my diet.  This is not to say that I blew it, I didn’t, but I did not have the same rigour I had had previously.  Where I may have had a salad before I now had a salad sandwich.  Where I would have had a diet coke I had a couple of Guinness and oh, there was that day when I ate all the kids pepperami’s and told each of them the other had eaten them and then berated them both for lying.   Little buggers.

I did discover that I really like Guinness too though I don’t know why I never tried it before.   Perhaps it’s because I prefer my drinks brightly coloured with umbrellas and Guinness seems such a manly drink to me.  If you were going to get into a fight and had the choice of having a Guinness or a strawberry daquiri as back up it would be Guinness every time.  Guinness probably did karate when it was younger and is a bit lively in a scrap outside of a kebab shop at 2 in the morning.  Not that daquiri doesn’t have it’s place, but it’s more of a bitchy cat fight and a good hair pull.

Anyway, whilst I do love the whole 30 thing it does require you to shop and cook properly and if you let things slip and the fridge runs low it is pretty hard to stay on track.  I’ve started shopping twice a week to prevent that happening and am now just about back on track.

Oh apart from yesterday when I went to this little place that sells South African stuff an ended up stuffing my face with Tomato Fritos which you cannot get over here.  Actually, England has a real dearth of tomato flavoured things in general.

Let’s see how the next week goes shall we.  I am still about 33 pounds down on where I started three months ago so still happy with that.

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Diet o’clock 1st of September

This week there was curry.

This week seems to have passed me by and I am not sure where it went.  I was off work with the boys as it is the last week of the summer holidays.  Early on in the week we headed to Wales for a few days and headed up Mount Snowden and had a mooch around Wales.  Back end its been back to school shopping and getting all of those things done I wanted to do these 6 weeks.

With everything we had on I’ll admit I haven’t given much thought to food really.  We stopped off at a place next to the motorway on the way there and faced with eating something I would likely kick myself for or nothing at all I went for nothing.  When we got to the top of the mountain there was mostly pies on offer so I had a bite of each of the boys and that was enough.  They had ice cream and I didn’t.

Now in the past this would have felt like a victory, and perhaps it is , but I was actually quite happy waiting until I could get something I really wanted.

There is certainly something of a change in my thinking and whilst there is a long way to go I am happy that for the most part I keep trying to make the right choices.

Oh and then I ate a gigantic gummy worm.  I mean freaking huge.

Worth it!

Diet o’clock 26th of August

This week there was curry.

As weeks go this was considerably better than last and I found myself generally not thinking about food much after I ensured I did the shop and made sure there was plenty in to prevent myself feeling peckish.

And then a friend of mine brought around the curry.

He worked for me a couple of years ago and I supported him through some pretty tough times when he had cancer and thankfully he is in remission.  His mum was always grateful of how I supported him too and has often expressed that gratitude through the most delicious medium of food.

Given that it was Eid this week she sent what I can only describe as a box of pure bliss.  There was no way that I was saying no to any of it and I will happily have my life shortened for the goodness that was inside.

In the first box  were the most delightful pieces of chicken, samosas, kebabs, mushroom rice, lamb chops and chicken pasta.  The second held a quite fragrant and spicy Thai green curry and in the third was one of the most delicious things (that I had never had before) in sweet rice.

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He was barely out of the door before I had the kids downstairs and we were tucking in.  We had already had dinner but like hobbits we were most keen on the idea of second dinner and tucked in.  All thoughts of calories and points and whole food went out the window and instead I simply enjoyed a meal as delicious as any I have had in a long time and you know what?  I am most glad I did.

It would be rude not to right!

Diet o’clock 19th of August

You gonna eat that or can I have it?

Well I am nearing the end of another month of Whole30 and whilst the weight loss has not been as good as the first I continue to enjoy it immensely.  Well apart from last week at least.

I neglected to go shopping on Sunday for reasons I cannot recall but before I knew it I was running short of all sorts of stuff and time seemed to get away from me.  I also started a new job on the Monday so things were just pretty hectic.  I wasn’t eating badly, just cobbling things together or compromising here and there and I quite suddenly found myself thinking about food more than I had been.

Well, by Friday I was like a man possessed.  By the time I got home from work I could think of nothing but eating.  Everything.  I didn’t care what it was, I was ready to eat it.

Salsa from the belly button of a syphilitic tramp?  Yeah count me in.  Horse scrotum hot dogs in week old buns?  Yes freaking please.  Flame grilled just-about-anything from a sexual deviant’s food truck smothered in his extra sticky ‘special sauce’.  I’ll take two with some of those really really dirty fries.

Anyway I think you get the picture.

Fortunately the fridge was empty apart from some past its best garlic bread, a bottle of champagne and some Tiramasu,  Now I may have been desperate enough to wolf down a milkshake made with Bridgette Nielsen’s 54 year old breast milk but I have to draw a line somewhere – I’m not a bloody animal and that stuff I cannot abide.

Anyway, by the time I had eaten 6 chicken thighs cooked with chorizo and a packet of Mr Ben’s quite delicious spicy rice the red mist faded and as I licked the last pickings from my fingers a sense of sanity returned.

I have since been shopping and have some fabulously yummy and healthy stuff in and all planned out for the week and feel it was a valuable lesson learned about myself and what triggers me.

Bon appetit!

Diet o’clock 12th of August

Archaeologists recently confirmed my fatness outdates the internet mostly.

I have been fat for as long as I can remember.  Or at least I believed I was.  There has been the odd occasion where I definitely wasn’t but for the most part I have been.

I have always loved food, and still do, and I am going to assume that had something to do with it.  I believe my nick name was officially ‘Fat Kid for a few years amongst a certain crowd when I was younger but if I recall correctly they were actually my closer friends and it didn’t last that long and whilst I would say it never bothered me it has stuck with me.

Thinking back before that I was broad shouldered and pretty handy at rugby growing up and through my teen years, and whilst not massive I always carried extra weight which helped on the pitch.  I do remember joining a club after school and hearing one of the players comment in Afrikaans that it was good to have “another nice fat front rower’.  Looking back at photos though, I don’t think I  was that big.  Certainly nowhere near where I am now.

I guess it is something I have always lived with, though I don’t quite recall my first diet.  I t must have been quite some time ago because I found this when I was going through stuff in the cellar this week.

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The oldies amongst you will recognise a 3.5 Inch drive and it seems that probably 18 years ago I was attempting to do something about things.  Made me really question myself because 18 years is a bloody long time to get progressively fatter and fatter.   I mean what was the world like in 2000?

Well there was the shenanigans over the Y2K bug – so I must have had that to worry about on top of having hefty man boobs, and I was likely sobbing into my breakfast cake as the final ‘Peanuts’ was published following the death of Charles M Schulz.  Oh lordy, Bob The Builder was top of the charts here in the UK.  I was likely comfort eating for sure.

I tried to remember making it but cant so am looking forward to firing up an old PC I still have to see what is on it.  I do wonder what goal weight I set for myself.  I’ll let you know