Ive not written about this for a while. I haven’t given up, that I can confirm. I’m mostly just not quite as focussed as writing about it as I was.
I am still walking lots, eating pretty well and mostly mindful of what I put in myself and what energy I expend. I am though, just at one of those stages where I am just trying to refocus and get things really where they need to be rather than it being ‘okay’.
I broke my ankle, then sprained the other, then sprained the broken one so ended up pretty immobile for a few months and took up eating and drinking a little too much during that time so am now working on improving those good habits again.
Ive stayed off the scales mostly, and to be honest they just lie anyway right, so don’t quite know the damage done but I am not bothered either. Creating that permanent change that can survive sitting on one’s arse for a few months is where I need to be and that remains my goal. The rest will follow.
I like to cook. Not as much as I like to eat, but obviously one tends to come before the other. Do it the other way round and you’re likely to suffer from Ecoli or bum worms or something equally horrid.
Anyway, lockdown has meant that I am cooking even more than ever and the youngest one day sent me a link explaining all about Hello Fresh and why it would be a good idea. I think they were growing tired of the same old stuff and to be honest they were probably right. I have a set number of things I can cook, and whilst I own a whole load of cook books, I often just revert to what I know for sake of expediency.
So given find it hard to say no to my children on most things we were signed up in a flash.
If you haven’t seen Hello Fresh before it is a service where they send you just enough food to make a certain number of meals each week (including recipe cards). You pick the meals by a certain day, from a selection of about thirty on an app, and a few days later a box arrives. Seems simple really.
I’d like to say I did research, compared prices, made a considered choice. I’d also like to say I am 6ft tall and look great in skinny jeans. Neither of these things are true. I am compulsive and often wasteful and were I to don skinny jeans I imagine my legs would look like sausage skins that had been overfilled.
So anyway the box arrives and my first thought was “ooh that looks nice”. There were pots of spices and saches of sauce, all carefully portioned out , and the meat and veg looked fresh and clean. My second thought was “Im going to be rather hungry “. No way was this enough food for three people (me and the boys) for 4 meals. (Mrs Afterwards is not partaking as she is vegetarian and her favourite flavour is bland, so it was not for her.)
The youngest is now in charge of cooking everything (small hands make light work, right?), so we get stuck in and whip up the first meal. The recipe cards are easy to follow and in no time at all we have ourselves sea bream and rice and bits of greenery and veg strewn through it.
And it was gorgeous. And shockinlgy there was plenty of it. I would definitely have bought twice as much to make this meal and likely thrown a lot away, or it would have sat in the fridge spoiling. So when it comes to saving on waste its definitely a winner.
The ingredients were all really good and with the exception of a lemon that was as dry as Queen Victoria’s dirty love trumpet (I don’t know why I added the word dirty there – that in itself feels rather dirty) and a potato that looked like a Syphilitic Jimmy Nail. (Though it might actually have come from Morrisons Supermarket as I did mix the potatoes up – so I could be being unfair.) I like the idea of not having to have loads of bottles of things like hoisin sauce and soy sauce and tubs of sesame seeds and such. I have just enough for the meals and that works for me. I still have a bottle of fish sauce going back about 12 months that I have no idea what to do with. What the hell is it even? I guess the name says it all but still, who the devil needs a sauce made out of fish. Sounds horrid.
So you want to know about price right? Well I got a huge discount of the first box and significant ones on the next lot so it was only about £25 for the week. At full price it will come in at about £3.70 a meal I think. Whilst I could do it cheaper if I shopped I am sure, this is still not much off the cost of one of those meal deals at our local Co-Op store. There it’s £3.50 I think for a sandwich, crisps and a coke.
So balancing up cost, ease of us, reduction in waste and not forgetting deliciousness and variety I am absolutely sold on it. Throw in how involved my youngest has been about cooking (though he now wants his own knife set!) I think I am sold on it most definitely. There are apparently other services out there like Gusto, which I might try, but for the next few weeks I shall be getting the most out of this and hopefully trying loads of new things I would never have bought otherwise.
Oh and calories. I forgot about that. Obviously I am mindful of what I put into this flabby, balding and mostly dilapidated temple of mine. The menus are pretty clear about what this costs when it comes to my calorie deficit efforts and with light versions available (less than 600 calories) and even the cheesier and meatier options we have had coming in at around 800 calories I am more than happy defiling this wobbly shrine of mine with it’s delicious goodness.
Oh and I will slip this in at the end. Not because I want you to but because you can if you want to, it’s really up to you. Your experience with it might be awful so I take no responsibility for it. But, if you want £20 off your first box then there’s a link below. I get £20 too. That said I imagine there are better deals out there as I got 60% off my first box and 35% off my next 3 just by searching online.
This week it’s been all about steps. 10000 a day to be precise.
It’s been snowing and rather icy so chances to get outside have been limited given that whilst the dog enjoys it there does come a point where he is thinking “Bloody hell, just go out on your own its awful out there.”
I’ve had to hit the treadmill a few times, especially one night when it was bed time and I still had 3000 to go. Not be be defeated I fired up the Reebok Jet 300 and got to walking. Wanting to hurry things up I sped things up a little and tried a bit of running. It’s really rather tiring and I still have quite a lot of jiggly bits so also not the most pleasant of experiences. Anyway so I ran for a while then somehow settled into another walk that was actually faster than I was running. Faster and faster it went until I panicked thinking I was about to fall, be knocked out and as I was not wearing the safety cut off chord I would be found dead in the morning, half of me grated away into a bloody pulp.
Plus I would have missed my 10000 steps, so I slowed it down, put on something to walk and marched mindlessly until the counter ticked over…goal achieved!
Annoyingly I did actually miss it one day. I had taken my watch off in the morning and probably missed a couple of thousand so was again a tad short. Only about a thousand. It was snowing outside and the dog looked at me with his “F*ck off and go walk yourself eyes” so I hit the treadmill and got myself within 50 or so steps of my target. Now I know I could have hit my target with another minute or so of walking but I was feeling the dog’s mood so didn’t, instead figuring the steps to bed woukld knock the remainder on the head.
Alas I did not check and in the morning I was 7 steps short. 7. So very annoying indeed. Ok so I know I did more than 10000 in the day with how many I hadn’t recorded in the morning but my smart watch does not. It simply looks at me with the judgemental look on it’s watch face as if to say, “Yeah, slacker, that’s why you have such lovely man boobs.”
Screw you smart watch!
Happy weekend people, here’s a few photos from our snow walks…
So its about ten days in and so far so good. Mostly. If you didn’t read my first post then…Oh just go read it, it’s a lot easier than me explainign again 🙂
Right so I guess you’re wondering how it is going?
Well, so far so good on the steps front and I have managed to hit my target of 10000 a day every day this year. I’m walking the dog a couple of times which makes it fairly easy and only once did I need to hit the treadmill at about half 11 at night when it was looking a bit iffy. I certainly feel better for it, though it’s been snowing a fair bit so my nipples have been like chapple hat pegs as I drag the pooch up hill and down dale in sub zero temperatures. I couldn’t really fail in the first week now could I.
I set myself a target of 2000 calories a day for the most I have managed it. There was one night where I was presented with the deliciousness of pistachio Turkish delight and I did not even try to resist it. I ate it all. I actually took every piece from the box as had already achieved my steps and I knew I would eat it all so why waste the effort of getting off my backside to get more.
I knew I should resist but I know myself too well.
I have 2 go-to’s most days that help me with a disciplined start to what I eat. Muller light yoghurt with no sugar muesli is my preferred way to start the day, whatever time I start eating, and chocolate rice cakes are my snack of choice. I did eat 10 one day though so I am not sure that’s quite the balanced diet I am going for. They’re just so damned good though.
Eight glasses of water a day has been pretty easy and I put a glass in the bathroom so there’s this kind of pee/drink cycle going on down in the cellar where I spend most of my day. Hmm, that sounds really nasty doesn’t it. To be clear, I am not drinking my own pee. The water in there is particularly cold so it’s my tap of choice.
And then there’s the fasting. I aim to eat between 12pm and 6pm and most of the time I do okay. I will admit that I just forget. I make the kids or the dog breakfast and before you know it I have a mouth full of food without realising. (I feed the dog buttered toast in the morning, I don’t eat dog food. Okay so sometimes I will test the biscuits if he really likes them because I am curious if they’re that great).
So there you go, ten days in and I think I am doing okay. I have energy, I am sleeping well and I think I am losing weight (I’m not weighing in until the end of the month for fear of not having lost weight and losing motivation).
I have though been a bit achy and think that might be because I’ve been more active so am thinking I might try a bit of yoga. Or Pilates. I’m not sure though, I will likely look like I have fallen and cannot get up if someone comes in and I’m on the floor huffing and puffing.
Ooh wonder what my arse would look like in yoga pants? Probably like a sack full of fighting rats.
Okay so here we go, new year, new me, all those things we say on the first of a year, or the first of the month, or a Monday. Or perhaps after eating a whole bar of chocolate whilst sitting on the toilet.
Not that I’ve done that. Not a whole bar anyway.
Ive written plenty about my journey this year, and if you’re new here just scroll back and you’ll find details of my journey in between the dirty limericks and other bits and pieces I have been posting.
Anyway, I have given this section a new name which I think makes sense and am going to attempt to share a little more regularly on the matter as the weeks progress, counting down to my 50th in November.
It’s always easy to get going as everyone knows, but keeping it up is the challenge. To get me into the swing of things and through this first week I have set myself 4 key goals.
10000 steps a day, whether out walking the dog or on the treadmill
Intermittent fasting, restricting my time to eat to between 12pm and 6pm
Limiting my calorie intake to 2000 a day at the very most
Drinking 2 litres of water every day
My aim is to lose another 60LBS (not sure how long it will take) but more important are trying to ensure I make permanent(ish) lifestyle changes.
So that’s it really. I’ll share how I get on and hopefully you will find it of interest. Or maybe you fancy doing it yourself? Up to you.
So either I have absolutely no will power or I am possessed by a rather hungry demon who insists on eating crisps for breakfast and considers a slack handful of sausages and a coke a mid day snack.
I last wrote about dieting in December and I felt pretty motivated back then. I still feel pretty motivated now to be honest, but I think it is important to not confuse motivation for actions. I am motivated to do many things but that does not mean I act. It took me thirty years to take up writing so stopping eating squirty cream from the can is not going to happen overnight. Saying that overnight is normally when the squirty cream action takes place.
Today though I have woken up with a new motivation. Mostly I have spent the morning lingering in bed or writing and as it came to lunch time I realised that I had not yet eaten so I figured that probably technically counts as abeing on a diet so yes, the diet is back on.
I have definitely put on weight since I last wrote, I can feel it in the way my clothes fit me even less than they did previously and I can feel it in the way I move. Not a lot, but enough to tell me that at my age, and given that I spend a lot of my time at a desk, this weight loss lark is only going to get trickier and trickier as I get older. I imagine having bacon sandwiches every Friday doesn’t help either, but mostly It’s probably down to age and metabolism.
Not the Chinese takeaway I had last night. Definitely not that.
I love food so not eating is not an option, and having dabbled with dieting forever I think I am going to do my best to stick to Slimming World. There are eggs, lean bacon and chopped tomatoes in the kitchen which I think I shall make. I know its not as good as bran or some such but god have you eaten bran? I’d rather die a bulbous monstrosity who has to wash himself with a rag on a stick than force that down my gullet. I once took too large a spoon full of the stuff when I was trying to eat more of it to prevent myself dying from bowel cancer, something that kills a lot of men in my family, and it actually made me gag so difficult was it to chew. Like a proper eye watering “take it all” kind of gag.
Ok so it hasn’t been great over the Christmas period, I will start with that. I would add though that it was nowhere near as bad as it could have been and I have most definitely not gorged anywhere near as I have done in previous years.
There was no starter at Christmas dinner, only one pudding (shock horror right) and there’s a quite magnificent stollen covered in cherries and almonds that has lasted nearly the entire Christmas week!
A real indicator of a victory, albeit a small one, was that I didn’t even have a selection box for breakfast when we were opening gifts. That’s a bit of a tradition in our house you see.
Nonetheless it was something and over the last week we have all most definitely eaten a lot less. There remain piles of all manner of things that will likely go unconsumed and I am going to take that and get back to trying even harder.
Once I’ve finished that trifle though because it’s so damned good…
Just a quick update as I am rather full of meat and my eyes are slowly closing.
We took the kids to a comedy club thingamajig tonight as it is my eldest boys birthday next week, and they took a couple of friends with them. The evening was pleasant enough, and afterwards we thought we would take them all for dinner to TGI Fridays.
I was convinced that I was in a good place upon entering, and despite the kids all ordering ribs, which I am rather partial to, I asked for the duck salad. Duck salad right! That is actually a thing. Salad. With Duck. Whatever next.
Anyway, so there I am feeling great about the choice I just made, when the waitress heads back over. They are all out of Duck Salad.
I do wonder whether they ever actually had any you know. It really does not sound like something you should be making. Salad with duck. I think it is on there as a joke and they are convinced that nobody will ever take it seriously enough to order it.
I don’t really know how it happened, I think maybe I felt pressured into a quick decision as she was stood waiting for my revised order, but I just blurted out ribs and before I know it I am licking Jack Daniels sauce from my fingers and picking succulent pig from my teeth.
I had done rather well all day up to that point too.
Oh well, tomorrow is another day. Sleep well, I certainly will.
A piece in which I mention sweaty bottoms quite a lot.
So yesterday was somewhat more difficult given that I had a full day work event followed by Christmas Dinner and drinks. But, I came away not completely disappointed in myself – quite surprisingly.
I did not indulge in any of the huge pile of biscuits and chocolates that were available on arrival which I thought was a real victory given that in the past I would have been the one that opened them and got stuck in first.
I cannot say the same of big fat Simon though, he rumbled into the room, reached across the table exposing his hairy arse crack, proclaimed “Ooh biscuits” and tucked in. Perhaps that’s the key to appetite suppression. Every time you’re tempted to eat squirty cream straight from the can you have to look at a picture of a large man’s hairy toilet equipment.
At lunchtime I ate only the same as a normal person, avoiding the cream cakes and sticking to a couple of sandwiches and the treat of a frightfully small piece flap jack for pudding. I did get a queer look from a couple of people when I was spotted eating a fruit kebab thing and a couple of carrot sticks and some hummus. Rather than admitting to being on a diet I explained that I was saving myself for the Christmas dinner later on.
All I really wanted to do was smash cream buns into my face in the toilet where no one could judge me.
Dinner was ordered months ago so there was not much I could do and I had a lovely pumpkin soup starter. I seem to have then ordered a burger followed by Christmas pudding. I remembered some of the encouragement I have received on here and decided to not eat the chips (fries). This would have worked had they cleared the table sooner, but they took a while so by the time they did I had eaten half. But not eating half is something I would never have done before. I would have eaten all of mine and then coveted other peoples chips. Pretty sure the bible has strong views on such things. As good as I felt about it I could think of nothing else when I got home and had real regret over not eating them.
So all in all a way better day than I had expected.
This afternoon I am thinking of popping to the hypnotist to see whether they can help me get the image of big Simon’s dirty parts out of my head.
Okay so I’m going to double up on the posts on this to get caught up so I can post daily on the matter if I so choose.
2 days in and the worse thing I have put into my mouth was a cheeky spoonful of that chicken pie I wrote about last time which my eldest had for his tea. That’s not bad because a lot of you have done a damn site worse.
Yes you. You know who you are. Don’t make me add a winky face to make my point.
There have been natural yogurts, salads, omelettes and all manner of things that seemed in a relatively unprocessed form. Novel I know. I even resisted the work Christmas Dinner in the canteen today and had a salad box instead.
The salad itself was fine and I felt fairly full afterwards. I was though really confused about something called QUINOA.
What the bloody hell is that. As if couscous isn’t bad enough with its bland offensiveness they went and slipped this stuff in there. I thought it looked okay, and hoped perhaps it might be a little spicy. It wasn’t.
Four hours later I am still finding bits of it in my mouth and in my clothes as I was forced to try spit it out and got it all over myself. What the hell is it? It managed to absorb all the moisture in my mouth and left me really rather parched indeed.
I’m assuming none of you have eaten it as you all seem quite happy types.
Anyway, it was just a quickie tonight. I think I am going to bed – I need to hydrate and get my strength up because it is the official Christmas Dinner tomorrow and I am assured there is no quinoa on the menu.
Okay, so I posted about my intentions with regards to weight loss and one day in it went okay. I had more fruit than I normally would, I had a chicken Caesar wrap for lunch and for dinner pilchards on toast. There was plenty of water and I had a small bag of nuts and seeds because I apparently need to get more good cholesterol in me.
So that’s all very positive. I will admit though I so wanted to eat that delicious looking chicken pie sat looking at me whenever I open the fridge. It just screams “eat me you fat bastard, ram me into your hungry hole right now and to hell with your high blood pressure because you know I am going to taste so damned good.”
Pies are awful creatures they really are. I was once set upon by two sausage and tomato pies and a Cornish pasty and it took all my efforts to fight them off and devour them (all in self-defence I might add).
Aah good times.
Oh and how hard I had to resist buying a trifle when I popped to the shops. If I had bought it I know for a fact that I would have found myself eating it wearing only my underpants stood in front of the fridge at 3am, waking with a custard moustache and wondered why I wasn’t in the mood for breakfast.
Custard moustache…ha. Sounds like a sex act.
“Yeah man I took her back to my place and she gave me a custard moustache…”
Anyway, the struggle is real trust me.
But I didn’t, instead I did the things I know I need to do and have also started today with porridge. I sexed it up with a few raisins and a sprinkling of coconut. Rock and roll baby!
Wonder if I can now get into those jeans I haven’t been able to squeeze into for years. It has been an entire day after all.
So it turns out that after posting about dieting here and here I did very little about the matter. There were a few apples and some lighter lunchtime options enjoyed at work when I set out but there were also loose handfuls of quality street chocolates and overflowing plates of pie and mash washed down with mince pies and stollen.
Sadly it turns out a salad on a Tuesday will not in any way make up for a McDonalds Big Tasty on a Wednesday. And yes, I went large.
In some ways that is almost enough to convert me from my atheist ways. Only a force of pure evil would make a mouth watering burger total 1300 calories and a light ham salad with a splash of vinaigrette a mere 250. If such evil exists then surely there is a balance of goodness out there somewhere.
Anyway I am thinking that if I write about it a little more then perhaps that will make me feel somewhat more accountable. Or maybe a lot more. I know you will all be frightfully encouraging too.