A wench with a bosom a plenty
Bedroom skills quite a hit with the gentry
For a couple of shilling
She’s both ready and willing
Come around her back alley for entry
A Ye-Olde Limerick just for you
Something a little…’bawdy’ I think is the word.
Tag: limerick
Limerick. Been a while.
One about ‘tucking’. I write mostly from a place of ignorance. Sorry.
There was a trans fellow called Betty
Who when ‘tucked’ would get sticky and sweaty
What a frightful affair
When at last it got air
Pale and sickly like day old spaghetti
A get well soon Limerick. Take it. Take it all.
Taste the rainbow…
Oh you poor thing, I hope you’re well soon
Heard it’s swollen up like a balloon
That there’s swelling and weeping
And dripping and seeping
Then a discharge that stinks out the room
Here’s Thursday’s filthy limerick
Testicle centric
Prospective lover to his lady June
“One ball’s shrivelled just like a prune”
Nervously he confided
“And I’m somewhat lopsided
Other’s swollen just like a balloon.”
Another Limerick
One about really thick pubes…
Once a hirsute young nudist called Julie
Had a seventies bush, quite unruly
It just could not be tamed
Her thick dark pubic mane
Quite the warm winter muff, well and truly
A Get Well Soon Limerick…
Maybe someone out there needs to hear this. Maybe it’s you. Maybe youre a dirty little monkey indeed!
Hope this finds you somewhat on the mend
Hear it’s swollen quite close to the end
Feels like it may fall off
If you move fast or cough
And you near shit your pants when you bend
A Limerick…Meh
Its something I guess. It is Tuesday, so don’t expect too much. Not a fan of Tuesday…
Small organed chap from Jamaica
Had a wife, twas an orgasmic faker
Alas try as he might
He could not get it right
Nipples, neck, clit and tit, could not make her
Friday’s Filthy Limerick!
Bloody hell that’s nasty
A drug loving hooker, Petunia
For five bucks, with a strap on, would ruin ya’
But worse, her Sister Beth
Would gave hand jobs for meth
Take a dump on your chest and then spoon ya
Dirty, dirty, oh so dirty Monday limerick
I like to think that one day it will come out that this is what’s on those secret Trump Tapes…
Trumpesque water sports fan, name of Trystin
Pretty mouth that he loved to have pissed in
Craved his balls to be squeezed
Nipples bit, clamped and teased
And on Tuesday’s a large handed fisting
Thursday’s filthy limerick
One about a ladies cavernous front bum
A voluptuous temptress from Cuba
A vagina shaped quite like a tuba
And she would not delay
To allow you to play
Her, so wide was she, no need to lube her
Just work on the speed of that last line…it works I assure you .
A truly filthy limerick
Sorry. Hope youre not having breakfast…
A horny young lad from Korea
69ing, though had diahhorea
In the midst of the fun
Felt a stir in his bum
Filled his partners mouth, nose, eyes and ear
Another Lockdown Limerick
One about sexy shaped vegetables…
A purveyor of veg called Anette
Who in lockdown saw veg and got wet
Courgette, egg plant and marrow
Carrots thick, long or narrow
Got her hot, cucumber so made her sweat
Limerick …pig meat centric
Happy Saturday you filthy animals 🙂
Once a pig loving lass from Majorca
Who’d scoff trotters, chops, Bacon and loin, her
Cravings got her so wet
for scotch eggs she’d forget
all her morals and for snout she’d pork ya
Another Limerick?
Go on, treat yourself.
Married chap with a thing for his gardener
Found his long garden hose quite the hardener
He would gaze at it’s girth
As it watered the earth
Made him wander and betray his partner
Limerick perhaps?
Oh it will do. Hardly great but these are tough times…;)
Once a chap who was self isolated
Day and night himself hard violated
He developed a cough
And his penis fell off
And his sphincter was annihalated
Your good Friday limerick
One about butt hair
A hirsuite young temptress from Dover
You would see each time she was bent over
Not only her thong
But butt hair, thick and log
Which she styled in a fancy comb over
Another Limerick about a ladies curiously shaped front bum.
Go on, treat yourself
An oft aroused lass from Aruba
Had a vagina shaped like a tuba
Should the wind blow just right
It would play silent night
And in bed there was no need to lube her.
Yet another Limerick.
It’s Friday. Why not.
A food fetish fan from Bermuda
Had a wife but he wanted one ruder
Who’d rub guac on his nips
Place asparagus tips
Deep inside him then smear him in gouda.
Your Wednesday Limerick
One about leaking boobs
Breast feeding mum, Julie pickles
Had huge boobs but quite lopsided nipples
Left one gushed like a geyser
Gave her baby a seizure
But the right, rather small, only trickles
A wholly inappropriate limerick about oral sex and the Corona Virus. Because it’s Monday. Too soon?
Just because…
Horny fellow who’s wife had Corona
Insisted she feast on his boner
How her cough made him jump
bit his cock off, a stump
is all thats remains of dick former
Okay so tenuous last line there…it si what it is…Perhaps too soon to be joking about such things but if you dont laugh sometimes you’ll end up losing your bloody mind.
An inappropriate Limerick.
Aren’t they the best type?
Forgetful chap who was inclined
To place objects inside his behind
Ended up youtube famous
For his cavernous anus
Left him gaping, but he did not mind
A Limerick for 2020
Let this be a warning to us all…
New years eve, chap had drunk some, well plenty
“Happy new year he cried, twenty-twenty
will be my year for sure”
then passed out on the floor
Shit his pants. Drink slow, quite elementary…
And yet another Limerick.
Ooh excuse me
A legumephile lady of Queens
Just could not get enough of the beans
Kidney, Fava and more so
Haricot, Black and Pinto
Flatulent, blew a hole in her jeans.
Limerick perhaps?
Its been ages, just getting back into it again…
Once a buxom lass sweetest Consuela
Seeking love, left her home, Venezuela
A Romanian chap
Who she met, gave her clap
Well endowed, called him, Vlad the impaler
A Limerick. Right?
Bad Michael!
A fellow that I know who sweats
quite profusely as he has tourettes
does not know where he’ll be
when it escapes him you see
and will shout out quite loud “SHITTWATFUCKCOCKEATMYBUMBOOBSLICKMESPANKMECALLMEJULIEFRONTBUMJIZZTITS”
.
.
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Okay I know, ity doesn’t rhyme 😉
Happy Monday!
