Heard you’re sick, quite unwell, chesty wheeze
Get well soon and stay hydrated, please
Hope you’re soon on the mend
It’s quite gross, can’t pretend
As your bum still explodes when you sneeze
Get well soon…Limerick Time.
Hallmark-esque
Tag: limerick
More can you spot the film, Limericks?
Last of these I promise…
A witch called Hermione, when drunk
Would go mad for a wand wielding hunk
Dragons got her real hot
Hippogriffs ripe to trot
She’d go wild for a werewolf’s big trunk
Can you spot the film, Limericks?
There once was a wizard called…
A dirty gameskeeper called Rubious
When alone would do things, some deemed dubious
He’d profess, “It’s not weird,
Now come straddle my beard.”
He’d scream loud and explode like Vesuvious
Limericky Dicky
Gluten most tolerant
A hot blooded young baker called Dicky
had a thing for hot bread and so quick he
would fondle baguette
blush and stammer and sweat
and his fingers would end up quite sticky
A limerick. For no real reason.
Toasty warm
Once a vet, quite the lover of rats,
mice and gerbils, but not fond of cats
Made a fine pair of mittens
from some cute persian kittens
and a tabby he made into hats
STD Limerick?
That will need antibiotics I imagine.
There once hailed a young man from Dublin
saw the doctor who said “It’s quite troubling,
that it’s looking most queer
could be syphilis I fear
as it’s covered in puss and is bubbling.”
Get well soon x
Feeling under the weather?
Heard you’re under the weather and wheezy
.
and your bottom is really quite breezy
.
and you’re head’s thick and snotty.
and your breath’s pretty grotty.
lots of fluids and rest, take it easy
V
You have something in your teeth
A hirsute air hostess called Violet
Takes to bed a quite well to do pilot
Orsl sex? He says “No!
The wild bush has to go
Or at least you could maybe try style it”
Hey, look, yet another limerick…
The heart wants what the heart wants
Once a vicar with darkest of cravings
Spent church money on dark misbehaving
Bought crack, liquor, and whores
And rent boys by the scores
Who he claimed he’d intended on saving
If youre craving dirty limericks
Not mentioned this for a while…
You can read about the WHY here…but it’s out there. 300 of my finest limericks. Currently trending at number 359 in the limericks category on Amazon!
After a few people have read it I am probably about ready to admit I am kinda proud of it now. 🙂
Paperback in the UK is here
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1916089011
And in the US here
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1916089011
There are ebook versions too.
Saturday, so that must mean a limerick.
Feel the love…twice weekly!
Once a couple in search of some spice
thought that swinging might maybe be nice
turns out wasn’t for him
though his wife, with a grin
partakes every weekend, sometimes twice.
Hey, look, another limerick…
Always wear an apron
A buck naked naturist, Brian
A new hobby of cooking was tryin’
Threw the meat in too quick
Burnt the tip of his dick
When a juicy thick steak he was fryin’
A limerick to start off your Saturday
Choo-choo
Kinky chap with a train Fascination
Loved the ride and the smooth Undulation
Was a wonderful perk
Should the train shake and jerk
As it aided his wild masturbation
Tuesday. Hmm.
nothing to see, move along…
New neighbour it seems
inspire his bird watching love
dirty bush rustler
Limerick O’Clock
Mmmmmeaty
Once a lass, quite aroused by raw liver
and my word how fresh tripe made her shiver
sweet breads made her quite hot
offal? Creams on the spot
A fresh snout made her moist and legs quiver
Yawn, another limerick etc etc.
A rude one about a woman and her need for a particularly large penis.
A cavernous lass, quite pedantic
who insisted on cocks most gigantic
No nine inchers for her
(unless girth) she don’t care
Only upwards of twelve get her frantic
Limerick ?
I should be better than this, I know…
A closeted fellow called Bryan
Said he didn’t like cock but was tryin’
So so hard to resist
Tip the size of a fist
Big thick shaft, massive balls, oh he’s lyin’
A truly filthy poo sex limerick
stay well away…
A horny young lad from Korea
69ing, though had diahhorea
In the midst of the fun
Felt a stir in his bum
Filled his partners mouth, nose, eyes and ear
Limerick ?
A limerick for you
Friend of mine tells of this chap she dated
Whos bum play need could not be sated
She’d spend hours, days, weeks
Hard at work ‘twixt his cheeks
Soiled the bed when he ejaculated
Surprise!! Yet another one of these
Don’t go acting all surprised.
A squirty young lass took her lover
Off to bed only there to discover
He was epileptic, and thrashed
During sex, how she splashed
Up the walls, on the floor and bed cover.
New Year. Same old limericks
Why the devil not, eh!
A DIY lover, Matilda
Had a thing for her hot neighbour Builder
Stay composed? Oh she failed
When he hammered and nailed
And to watch him fill holes, nearly killed her
Sunday Limerick anyone?
This week I shall explore those ‘get well soon’ limericks I so enjoy.
Once a chap who lived south of the border
placed a custom job sex doll web order
Tiny mouth, googly eyes
nipples large, like pork pies
a big butt ‘cos he like his dames broader
Yawn, another limerick.
A rude one about a woman and her need for a particularly large penis.
A cavernous lass, quite pedantic
who insisted on cocks most gigantic
No nine inchers for her
(unless girth) she don’t care
Only upwards of twelve get her frantic
A Monday Limerick
It’s Monday where I am. Let us start the week with a special bit of meaty madness…
A butcher, too fond of his meat
Rubbed himself with pigs ears and cows feet
Would spend weekend a quiver
As he fondled lambs liver
Would explode at the sight of meats sweet
A Limerick. Dirty.
Mmmmm tasty…
Married chap I know has him a mistress
Who it turns out will eat only citrus
Says her ass tastes sublime
Just like lemons and lime
And he raves of her tangerine Clitoris
Afterwards 