Hey. Psst. You, yes you. Got a nasty limerick for you.

It’s just one. It will be fine. No one will know trust me…

A flatulent baker called Martin

Won all contests he’d entered his tarts in

His baked wares were the best

And he proudly confessed

“‘Cos as well as sweet treats, they have fart in!”

An animal lovers Tuesday limerick.

Not one of my better ones but it’ll do. Not like there are loads of bestiality limericks out there to compare it to…

A compassionate vet from Uganda

Stroked a cat whilst sat on his veranda

Took his love just too far

Touched a dog in his car

Now gives hand jobs to monkeys and panda

Nasty, Nasty Limerick time. Been a while.

To those who followed me because I wrote about dieting. This is probably closer to the real me. Sorry 🙂

Sex mad divorcee, now, online dating

Swipes and clicks left her moist, salivating

A transvestite off Grinder

Sweating, grunting, behind her

Tinder twins in each hand, masturbating

A limerick just for you. And you. And you, and you, and you.

Enjoy. Or don’t. But secretly do.

A vet from round our way quite smitten

By felines, especially kittens

He made two into hats

And a load into spats

Then the leftovers made into mittens

Personal Pronoun Sex Limerick time.

Apparently that’s now a thing too…

A promiscuous temptress called Brenda

Not especially choosy on Gender

Whether he, she or Eir

Xemself, Hir, Shim – Don’t care

She’s ain’t fussy-  just wants sensual splendour

________________

I don’t think I’m ignorant, perhaps a little sheltered and middle aged white man and all that…I just honestly had no idea…read it for yourself…

gender pronouns – Bing images