On the matter of eating endangered species

Ome from the archives…

I would not eat a panda

it does not appeal to me

Despite it being grass fed

and not tough and quite juicy

It’s flesh I would not sauté

bake or broil or steam or fry

I would not make some pastry

and then bake it in a pie

Please do not serve me blue whale

it would surely be obscene

To brown it in a skillet

with chopped garlic and some cream

I could not sample blow hole

or a steak of flesh most pink

Do not prepare me sperm whale

or an orca or a mink

Bald Eagle’s off the menu

it could never pass my lips

I’d never shallow fry it

And then serve it with some chips

Please do not bring it to me

if you do I will reject

The smorgasbord of tasty

claws and wings and beaks and necks

Be gone you furry entrée

do not ask me to abide

A puppy stuffed with kitten

and Koala on the side

It leaves me feeling queasy

and on me it does repeat

I gag on eucalyptus

flavoured mar-su-pi-al meat

I’d never eat a chilli

made of simians for sure

Orang-utan with lentils

that I surely would deplore

I’d not enjoy chim-pan-zee

milk poached with fresh vanilla

I’d rather eat a salad

than bar-be-cued gorilla

But pig and cow I’ll gorge on

and chickens fill the belly

Once eels I even sampled

But the hot ones not in jelly

So why’s each species different

some not headed for the pot

whilst others we eat freely

quite delicious cold or hot


Fancy something else?

Author: Michael

Husband, dad,(ex)programmer, comic collector and proud Yorkshireman. I have no idea why im here or why im writing but i rather enjoy it. no great fan of punctuation;

8 thoughts on “On the matter of eating endangered species”

  1. Haha! This is brilliant! 😁

    I’ve actually used very similar examples with folks over the years.
    As a pretty much lifelong veggie and vegan latterly (not an annoying one though! 😉) my line is clear. Nothing with a face 👍

    My animal eating compadres don’t often seem to have the same degree of rationality behind what they are or are not prepared to eat though and find out outrageous when I suggest the thought of eating a cow or a dolphin is the same to me.

    As always though your words far exceed mine – so I may well just carry this little ditty around now to make my point instead! 😁😉🖤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. According to my youngest dolphins are evil And apparently quite rapey, amongst a long list of crimes, so should probably go on the snacking list…

    I think the problem is that animals are just so damned delicious that we fail to see What we ought to…

    I am carnivorous though, so my words are mostly hollow 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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