A Late Night Limerick

Need a hand with that get-well-soon card? Perhaps feeling a touch on the gassy side?

This week they will be on the matter of getting well soon, so if you know someone who ails you are more than welcome to borrow them if you’re thinking of sending a nice card and some grapes perhaps.  Let’s ease in nice and slow with something pleasant shall we.  There’s plenty of time for it to go awry I assure you.

I heard you’re quite bloated today

And you stomach’s all growly  you say

Just give in,  let it out

Unleash hell have no doubt

You’ll feel better quite soon, fart away

 

Ha that picture with this poem made me chuckle.   There must be a fetish haiku in it surely…

photo courtesy of pixabay

Breezy Blunder – Room 101

Chief Hennessy wiped soot from his face.  “Thanks Kate, as far as preliminary reports show looks like a mains gas escape.”

Thanks to Michelle for the prompt


“Chief, Kate White Channel 8 News, can you tell us what happened?”

Chief Hennessy wiped soot from his face.  “Thanks Kate, as far as preliminary reports show looks like a mains gas escape.”

“Any reports of casualties?” she pressed.

“I can confirm two deceased occupants found on the premises.”

Two hours earlier

 “Bend over more” Ben howled holding the lighter to his brother’s bottom.

“It’s coming, light it, light it” Tobias shouted, eyes popping as he strained.

“You smell that?” Ben said suddenly looking about, his smile gone, lighter still burning.

“You smell this?” Tobias laughed, letting out a huge fart…


Photo courtesy of pixabay

Hotel haiku

just a few thoughts before I start the day

Just a few thoughts on the hotel before we head out and see what the day has to hold.

   
Other peoples kids 

Drunkards bouncing down the hall

Flatulent neighbours 

   

Four people one room 

A night time cocophony 

Really need a nap 

     

Lying  in my bed 

Inches from another soul 

In another room 

   

Please shut your kids up 

Next time we go up market 

Tired and grumpy 

   
Right…im off for an ice cream and to dip my toes in the icy north sea.  I will let you know how it goes.