Here you go, another limerick.

A rude one about a woman and her need for a particularly large penis.

A cavernous lass, quite pedantic

who insisted on cocks most gigantic

No nine inchers for her

(unless girth) she don’t care

Only upwards of twelve get her frantic

 

Saturday fruit-based-sex limerick

Permit me this one I have been frightfully grown up this week.

Once a grocer consumed with dark greed

rubbed bananas when he had the need

squeezed his nuts, groped his plums

slid courgette’s twixt his buns

Watermelon?  He swallowed the seed

 

😉

 

 

A Sunday Limerick.

It’s been a week. Let’s have one shall we…It works if you make Peking rhyme with squeaking trust me…

Once a buggery fan born in Peking

one day woke found his sphincter was leaking

used a cork from some rum

rammed it straight up his bum

worked a treat, when it walked made a squeaking.

Friday limerick. Explicit and not for children

Contains wholly inappropriate language. I mean really bad. The ‘C’ word. You were warned.

A tourette’s suffering fine voiced young fellow

joined a group and sang sweet acapello

Until he stood at the front

shouted “Tit, shit, fuck, cunt”

in a rather deep baritone bellow


I went on a bit of a road trip today to look at a van (which I bought and shall cover in a future post). I was driving along a snowy back water in Cheshire pondering how I might do a gif drawing of a dildo bike with accompanying limerick (watch out for that on Saturday) when ‘accapello’ and ‘fellow ‘ just dropped into my head. That is often the way with limericks atually. I get the three rhying words and that usually ests up the whole thing.

Anyway this one occured to me. I rather enjoyed it and even had a chuckle, but alas I then forgot it. Now this actually happens a lot but I don’t usually mind because there are always more to be had but this one I liked.

After about 45 minutes of racking my brain it eventually came back to me and I am glad it did. Offensive on a number of fronts I am sure but I remain rather proud of it. Oh and there’s one to follow about a Dildo bike. Cannot wait to do the GIF for it!