Here you go, another limerick.

A rude one about a woman and her need for a particularly large penis.

Advertisements

A cavernous lass, quite pedantic

who insisted on cocks most gigantic

No nine inchers for her

(unless girth) she don’t care

Only upwards of twelve get her frantic

 

Saturday fruit-based-sex limerick

Permit me this one I have been frightfully grown up this week.

Once a grocer consumed with dark greed

rubbed bananas when he had the need

squeezed his nuts, groped his plums

slid courgette’s twixt his buns

Watermelon?  He swallowed the seed

 

😉

 

 

A Sunday Limerick.

It’s been a week. Let’s have one shall we…It works if you make Peking rhyme with squeaking trust me…

Once a buggery fan born in Peking

one day woke found his sphincter was leaking

used a cork from some rum

rammed it straight up his bum

worked a treat, when it walked made a squeaking.

An unexpected Christmas gift.

What a surprise that would have been…

My son turned 14 the other day and he had 7 of his friends over for a sleep over after a trip to the movies and for something to eat.   I know, I know, at this point you are already probably shaking your head because yes you are right, it was a bloody stupid idea.

To be fair to them they are a pretty nice bunch of lads but that said they are still 14 year old boys and therefore also a huge pain in the arse.  As expected they were loud, they smelled awful and they all think they are most funny when they are not.  Even when they were still pissing about at 2 in the morning it was kind of expected so for the most part I just let them be.

The next morning though there was a rather unexpected surprise when I went into my Amazon account to order a last minute Christmas gift.  Seems they had been using the Amazon Alexa search and order functionality to pick up some last minute Christmas gifts themselves.

Below is just part of the Alexa search history and the item I found awaiting my check out.

Well at least the wife says it was them…

Such thoughtful boys…

screenshot_20181222-101033_amazon shopping233364193054641232..jpgscreenshot_20181222-101539_amazon alexa1069071908132573103..jpg