Limerick?

You know what time it is!

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There once hailed a young man from Dublin

saw the doctor who said “It’s quite troubling,

that it’s looking most queer

could be syphilis I fear

as it’s covered in puss and is bubbling.”

I can see Uranus

One I did for linda for guest in jest…


I think you know I have a childish and somewhat inappropriate sense of humour. I don’t hide it and in fact I am rather fond of it, so you will not be surprised to know that my recent camping adventures have developed a most fantastically inappropriate twist which I am certain you will love too – even if you don’t admit it.

I didn’t come up with – it was something I saw on Amazon’s ‘Grand Tour’ but do know it will stick with me for the rest of my days.

So what is it you ask? Well quite simple really. You know how caravans have fantastically inspirational names, well you put ‘Anal’ in front of them and then giggle like a twelve year old until your wife shouts at you for being so childish. Not that 12 year olds have wives. Well not unless youre american. But I digress…

Check out the photos below and if you don’t manage a chuckle then you’re dead inside! I for one am a big fan on the ‘Anal Hobby’. You may however be a little more of a classical basic humour sort of person and prefer the ‘Anal Breeze’ or perhaps the ever popular ‘Anal ambassador’.

Let me know your favourite…

Yawn, yet another limerick.

Not sure if this is a thing but I am sure it is somewhere. It works if you get the rhythm. Not that you want to . You’ve been warned.

A perverted yet grateful lass Julie

In bed, poo obsessed and unruly

Do a crap on your chest

In it sign “All the best,

Twas surely a real treat, yours truly.”

Saturday fruit-based-sex limerick

Permit me this one I have been frightfully grown up this week.

Once a grocer consumed with dark greed

rubbed bananas when he had the need

squeezed his nuts, groped his plums

slid courgette’s twixt his buns

Watermelon?  He swallowed the seed

 

😉

 

 

A Sunday Limerick.

It’s been a week. Let’s have one shall we…It works if you make Peking rhyme with squeaking trust me…

Once a buggery fan born in Peking

one day woke found his sphincter was leaking

used a cork from some rum

rammed it straight up his bum

worked a treat, when it walked made a squeaking.

Friday limerick. Explicit and not for children

Contains wholly inappropriate language. I mean really bad. The ‘C’ word. You were warned.

A tourette’s suffering fine voiced young fellow

joined a group and sang sweet acapello

Until he stood at the front

shouted “Tit, shit, fuck, cunt”

in a rather deep baritone bellow


I went on a bit of a road trip today to look at a van (which I bought and shall cover in a future post). I was driving along a snowy back water in Cheshire pondering how I might do a gif drawing of a dildo bike with accompanying limerick (watch out for that on Saturday) when ‘accapello’ and ‘fellow ‘ just dropped into my head. That is often the way with limericks atually. I get the three rhying words and that usually ests up the whole thing.

Anyway this one occured to me. I rather enjoyed it and even had a chuckle, but alas I then forgot it. Now this actually happens a lot but I don’t usually mind because there are always more to be had but this one I liked.

After about 45 minutes of racking my brain it eventually came back to me and I am glad it did. Offensive on a number of fronts I am sure but I remain rather proud of it. Oh and there’s one to follow about a Dildo bike. Cannot wait to do the GIF for it!

A limerick because it’s thursday

Old school with nothing weird…kinda…sorta…

Once a man with legs crooked and bowed

staggered drunk late one night down the road

when he started to vomit

got flung over a bonnet

and a semi squished him like a toad


Well I dont know where that came from but it’s somethign I guess.  It’s only a dodgy limerick after all, not like Im out luring kids into vans with puppies and sweets.

 

 

 

Let the limericks flow

Poor him. poor hobo. Poor you.

A young fellow who’d never been kissed

Felt aggrieved at the things he had missed

So went out on the town

A few shots he drank down

Humped a tramp n got aids rather pissed

_______________________

Okay so I realize that escalated rather quickly. Limericks have a way of doing that though. Lines one to four flow just fine and before you know it this poor virgins giving hand jobs to homeless people under a bridge.

And all he wanted was some love.

Dirty bugger

🙂