Fetish Haiku – A is for Acrotomophilia

Been forever since I did some of these. Found a new list to work to so let’s see where this leads…

In Fingerless gloves

Through absence of feet aroused

Smooth, sensual stumps


Acrotomophilia – Arousal to amputees

To be honest I have heard of this one. Apparently some people (and by that I mean men. Pretty much it’s always men right….) Anyway, there’s some good money to be made from rubs from stubs. That what my research leads me to believe.

I need to burn my computer now because I should have known better than to google ‘weird kinks’) whilst not in incognito mode… Okay so I clicked a few links. I’m just naturally curious!

Limerick. Enjoy.

One about how to work out your manhood volume.

A perverse math’matician of note

to work out his cock volume, he wrote

“Times the length by the girth”

He reported with mirth

And then published with pics and did gloat.


Okay so I know that isn’t the calculation for working out the volume of one’s manhood. But no way am I googling that on the laptop the kids use from time to time. What sort of monster do you think I am.

Anyway, everyone knows you multiply the smallest radius of oval (minor axis) by its largest radius (major axis). Just not easy to get that into a limerick.

Though I did once read that it should be calculated using socks as a measure of volume. Ankle, sports, knee high. You get the general idea. Actually I once knew a chap who was an eye watering European size 12 Knee high. But that’s another limerick completely.

Happy Thursday !

A Limerick. Because it’s…actually I have no idea what day it is…

Ooh Brian you dirty, dirty little imp…

A virginal fellow called Brian

To get laid, he was tryin’ and tryin’

Efforts all came to nought

Then “eureka!”, a thought

Now each week, big boobed hooker’s he’s buyin’

A Limerick. On a Sunday. It is Sunday right?

February had 29 days, March 200 and April has 625. I have no idea what day or month it is to be honest…

This poor lad I know, self isolated

Spent his days watching porn, masturbated

Till his bits were quite raw

And his arms were real sore

And his balls were all red and inflated

A final Creepy Love Poem.

A fond farewell to these at last…

This was the first…

Then this one…

This the third


You’re the sun on my face

You’re the wind in my sails

My everything and my all

.

Im the breath on your windows

The rustling in your bush

Want to cut you open, climb inside

.

Breathing deep I inhale you, musty and wet

Hunched over your laundry basket

I squirm as my heart leaps inside

.

Carve you’re name into my desperate flesh

Your name drips from my lonely lips

I want to wear you , my corpse bride

Even More Super Creepy Love Poems. Feast on my cheese.

It’s a little jarring in it’s construct but love makes you feel that way. Right?

This was the first…

Then this one…

 


 

My love knows no ends, let us be more than friends

Oh let me feel your rampant thunder

Thighs spread wide

Im ripped asunder

 

Use me, abuse me make me your floozy

Touch me , take me , make me yours,

apple in my mouth

Crawling on all fours

 

You’re my snow white, I adore, and I’m all of your dwarves

Damp, humid, clammy, dampish, Drippy

Dewy, dank, not-dry and oozy

muggy, moist and slippy

 

My heart will rhyme until end of time

I am your refuge, come, paint my walls.

My pink canvas, your magnolia strokes

I’m your sport, use my balls.

 

 

 

 

 

More Creepy love poems

This one’s particularly bad. So bad it’s good right ?!?!

This was the first…


Oh let me feel the thrust and parry

your long sword deep and penetrating

piercing the armour of my heart

driving deep within my wanton soul

.

You are the marauder at my gates

the barbarian at my city walls

beard wet, wild eyed

loins girded in the skins of the moist beasts you have tamed

.

Lay siege to my heart as your ram batters my back doors

let me feel your furious love spill over my ramparts

My moat filled with your explosions

My portcullis trembling as you pound against my defences

.

Oh lay waste to my ladies vegetable garden

And run wild through my thick undergrowth

Take me, Impale me, I surrender

All I have is yours

Creepy love poems

Warm and squishy. One for the romantics out there…

Oh won’t you let me climb inside you

Let me wear you like a skin

And to feel your heart a beating

And to touch you from within.

.

What you see I want to witness

When you hear ill hear it too

When you nap ill snooze inside you

Let me be there when you poo.

.

From your innards i can feel you

As I’m nestled in between

I can feel your pain quite clearly

‘Twixt your liver and your spleen

.

Oh let me crawl right up inside you

Wont you let me show u love

There inside your flesh and sinew

Let me wear you like a glove

.

My desire knows no limits

And my love is absolute

Here its warm and wet and safe

Inside my juicy love skin suit

.

Ronovan’s Weekly Haiku Challenge: Wrong & Touch

You know this will be inappropriate, I cannot help myself and I simply can’t deny the base creature that I am…

I can’t ignore a good haiku challenge.  It will be uncomfortable going I am sure, but when it comes to inappropriate touching I will inevitably say things  that some will not like.

 

Disciples of Christ

Touching children.   It’s not wrong

if no one finds out

 

breathless lusting touch

is it wrong if it feels right?

cousin got pregnant

 

He wants to touch you

wrong? No, no –  you asked for it.

Rapey old POTUS

 

Nope…all just a bit too easy.


RonovanWrites #Weekly #Haiku #Poetry Prompt #Challenge #172 Wrong&Touch