Oh let me feel the thrust and parry
your long sword deep and penetrating
piercing the armour of my heart
driving deep within my wanton soul
.
You are the marauder at my gates
the barbarian at my city walls
beard wet, wild eyed
loins girded in the skins of the moist beasts you have tamed
.
Lay siege to my heart as your ram batters my back doors
let me feel your furious love spill over my ramparts
My moat filled with your explosions
My portcullis trembling as you pound against my defences
.
Oh lay waste to my ladies vegetable garden
And run wild through my thick undergrowth
Take me, Impale me, I surrender
All I have is yours
Afterwards 
Bahahahaha! This is basically every dime romance novel there is. And that doesn’t make it any less creepy
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Probably should have used “throbbing” but maybe ill keep that for next time
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