And another limerick…meh

Nasty indeed

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An embalmer who hailed from near Whiting

Found the deceased putrefaction inviting

Caressed post mortem stitches

‘till it stiffened his britches

Found the firm rigor mortis exciting

Yet another Wednesday limerick!

This week I shall explore those ‘get well soon’ limericks I so enjoy.

Once a quite lonely farmer from Leeds

On his tractor he rode with dark needs

Dreamt of plouging and plucking

Quite aroused at bulls bucking

Fantasised about sewing his seeds

Inappropriate Saturday Limerick!

Stay well away. You have been warned.

Friend of mine met a girl, dating started

Shit himself when he thought he’d just farted

He was out on a date

Though it turned out quite great

Coprophiliac, got her legs parted

 

Not sure what a coprophiliac is?  Google it.  Dare you.

 

Actually it reminded me of these from years ago…

Fetish Haiku – Chasmophilia

My Weekly Fetish Haiku 19th of January

Fetish Haiku – Forniphilia

Yet Another Wednesday Limerick!

Got you some nasty right here. Dare you to google tarmacking.

Once a lonely young fellow called Bertie

Placed an add, for a lass, “Rather dirty,

Some big dildos you’re packing

Into kink and tarmacking

Intense BDSM, and face squirting”


 

Oh and if you do search up tarmacking its not my fault. I don’t even know how I know about it and I wish I didn’t but alas, I do.

Wednesday limerick!

This week I shall explore those ‘get well soon’ limericks I so enjoy.

Get well soon, heard you pick up a chill

get some tissues, perhaps take a pill

wrap up warm, watch TV

have some honey filled tea

Oh it’s cancer?  Shit sorry I didn’t realise.  I was told it was just a…What only a month?  That’s all?  Oh bloody hell mate I am sorry.  How is the wife about it?  Yeah I bet she needs some comforting. Don’t worry pal, I will look after her for you.

 


Sorry.  It’s all this serious poetry I have been doing.  It makes me do things.  Bad things.  You should see how skitish the cats are at the moment…