Tag: funny poetry

A young lad quite obsessed with silk pants

Who would steal then if given the chance

And give them a big sniff

Cos he loved the soiled whiff

Stole his mums, sister’s, gran’s and his aunt’s

Once a dirty old pervert from Scilly

Walked around showing people his willy

Some would avert their eyes

Others laughed at the size

Was so small and then more so when chilly

Burly husband a real alpha male

It turned out as his marriage did fail

Had a thing for his mate

Took him out on a date

And then did quite his best him to nail

I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?

A dissatisfied bride  wed a baker

Learned to moan, and in bed was a faker

As her chap could not please

She did not like to tease

So ran off with a bloke from Jamaica

I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?

A cross dresser from East Bucharest

Had an op, got a 40 inch chest

And some rather full lips

And he worked on his hips

saving up now to sort out the rest

Ugly fellow quite hairy and squat

Got this girlfriend, incredibly  hot

Thought he made the girl itch

He was really quite rich

Seems that helped her like him quite a lot

A lass angry and jilted from Reading

Burst in and interrupted a wedding

Said “Last night this here groom

Took me back to his room”

So the brides brothers kicked the chaps head in

Terrorist from Old Budapest

He went out in a suicide vest

Blew himself all to bits

killed some women and kids

Hope he burns with the paedos, no rest

There once was a fellow from Nato

Had a face shaped just like a potato

And two eyes just like peas

And a nose like a swede

And lips red just like a tomato

There once was a woman from Spain

Who delighted to dance in the rain

She went out in fake tan

But came in rather wan

As alas it all washed down the drain

An old woman claimed she was the best

And was crowned 1920’s best chest

Now it’s all gone awry

And they hang to her thigh

Yet way back, boy, she sure filled a vest

There once was a hooker from China

Had a really quite massive Vagina

Caused by years of abuse

It was frightfully loose

Yet some said there was not one finer

Once a POTUS quite fond of a thong

Had affairs oh but now it’s gone wrong

As he’s paid for his sex

Grabbed wifes pussies, what’s next?

Maybe faceboook live showing his dong?

There once was a lass form Doncaster

Who screamed and begged “Baby go faster”

She could not get enough

Of his lovely man stuff

Had a copy of it made of plaster

Once a fellow of scant recollection

Could not recall that he’d had an erection

inside a fresh hot dog bun

He’d  accosted a nun

Now he’s locked up for his own protection

A young shepherd loved poetry deep

Would wax lyrically about his sheep

Though he went way too far

Dressing one in a bra

And then spooning her there in her sleep

A poor beauty but so very hot

Wealthy suitors lined up hot to trot

Married rich, left her mums

Now she’s back in the slums

She got fat, he got rid in a shot

I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?

Once a placid young chap from Brazil

Snapped, killed his wife with a drill

Said “she would scream and she’d shout

And my patience ran out

As her voice was quite loud and so shrill.”

I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?

There once was a buillder from Leeds

Had no kids as he wonky seeds

and his wife’s now devout

With her belly stuck out

“…Miracle, I’m no trollop” she pleads