A young lad quite obsessed with silk pants
Who would steal then if given the chance
And give them a big sniff
Cos he loved the soiled whiff
Stole his mums, sister’s, gran’s and his aunt’s
Deep breaths…
A young lad quite obsessed with silk pants
Who would steal then if given the chance
And give them a big sniff
Cos he loved the soiled whiff
Stole his mums, sister’s, gran’s and his aunt’s
tut tut tut
Once a dirty old pervert from Scilly
Walked around showing people his willy
Some would avert their eyes
Others laughed at the size
Was so small and then more so when chilly
Who would have thought it eh…
Burly husband a real alpha male
It turned out as his marriage did fail
Had a thing for his mate
Took him out on a date
And then did quite his best him to nail
Nothign to see here. Move along.
I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?
A dissatisfied bride wed a baker
Learned to moan, and in bed was a faker
As her chap could not please
She did not like to tease
So ran off with a bloke from Jamaica
Maybe he should try crowd funding.
I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?
A cross dresser from East Bucharest
Had an op, got a 40 inch chest
And some rather full lips
And he worked on his hips
saving up now to sort out the rest
We all know the type.
Ugly fellow quite hairy and squat
Got this girlfriend, incredibly hot
Thought he made the girl itch
He was really quite rich
Seems that helped her like him quite a lot
True story
A lass angry and jilted from Reading
Burst in and interrupted a wedding
Said “Last night this here groom
Took me back to his room”
So the brides brothers kicked the chaps head in
Seems he wanted a bunch of virgins for himself. Daft twat.
Terrorist from Old Budapest
He went out in a suicide vest
Blew himself all to bits
killed some women and kids
Hope he burns with the paedos, no rest
Ill get bored of them eventually
There once was a fellow from Nato
Had a face shaped just like a potato
And two eyes just like peas
And a nose like a swede
And lips red just like a tomato
Blah blah limericky blah
There once was a woman from Spain
Who delighted to dance in the rain
She went out in fake tan
But came in rather wan
As alas it all washed down the drain
you know the drill by now…
An old woman claimed she was the best
And was crowned 1920’s best chest
Now it’s all gone awry
And they hang to her thigh
Yet way back, boy, she sure filled a vest
Bawdy and tawdry
There once was a hooker from China
Had a really quite massive Vagina
Caused by years of abuse
It was frightfully loose
Yet some said there was not one finer
Ill allow myself just this one
Once a POTUS quite fond of a thong
Had affairs oh but now it’s gone wrong
As he’s paid for his sex
Grabbed wifes pussies, what’s next?
Maybe faceboook live showing his dong?
ooh naughty
There once was a lass form Doncaster
Who screamed and begged “Baby go faster”
She could not get enough
Of his lovely man stuff
Had a copy of it made of plaster
Dirty fellow…
Once a fellow of scant recollection
Could not recall that he’d had an erection
inside a fresh hot dog bun
He’d accosted a nun
Now he’s locked up for his own protection
Of a man and his love for his sheep.
A young shepherd loved poetry deep
Would wax lyrically about his sheep
Though he went way too far
Dressing one in a bra
And then spooning her there in her sleep
Happy Friday!
A poor beauty but so very hot
Wealthy suitors lined up hot to trot
Married rich, left her mums
Now she’s back in the slums
She got fat, he got rid in a shot
Just a normal non weird kinda effort
I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?
Once a placid young chap from Brazil
Snapped, killed his wife with a drill
Said “she would scream and she’d shout
And my patience ran out
As her voice was quite loud and so shrill.”
It’s nearly Friday, chin up
I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?
There once was a buillder from Leeds
Had no kids as he wonky seeds
and his wife’s now devout
With her belly stuck out
“…Miracle, I’m no trollop” she pleads
Just loves how it feels on his skin…
I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?
A Preacher shouts “By God I’m blessed”
Yet at home you would find him cross dressed
French cut panties all lace
Basque pulled taught at the waist
really loves how it shows off his chest
Who’d have thought
I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?
A gym bunny, just one of the boys
Wanted mass so he turned to the ‘roids
As his pecs grew quite thick
He lost sight of his dick
He don’t care ‘cos he flexes with poise
I’d not read this eating your tea
I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?
A young chap thought that he would perhaps
Enjoy butt sex then his sphincter collapsed
Oh my god came the shout
As his insides dripped out
It’s like someone turned on the shit taps
Dirty dirty man…
I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?
Once a preacher condemned fornication
And booze, porn, drugs and masturbation
Then was caught by the press
In lipstick, wig and dress
Giving hand jobs to men near the station
I know I know, “Liquor” and “Lick Her” are kind of the same
I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?
Heard a tale of a quite horny Vicar
Met a nun and he wanted to lick her
From her head to her shins
Then forgive all her sins
Then smoke fags and do shots of string liquor
Yet another…
I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?
Pioneer said, “Eureka, a plan
I’ll keep pigs on a farm in Iran!
Get your pork” he did shout
“Sausage, bacon and snout”
So they stoned him and blamed the Quran