Tag: rubbing your bits on a dead person

A butcher, too fond of his meat

Rubbed himself with pigs ears and cows feet

Would spend weekend a quiver

As he fondled lambs liver

Would explode at the sight of meats sweet

An epileptic lass called Theresa

During sex would squirt high like a geyser

If pleased ever so right

Eyes rolled back in delight

And then squeal and go into a seizure

A betrayed french wife,  Mademoiselle Eiffel

Went to jail, for she used Monsieur’s Rifle

Caught his with her next door

Eating puddings galore

Found him balls deep in her Sunday trifle

Once a waiter from Greece, tanned and handsome

Held the hearts of the tourist quite ransom

How the ladies would swoon

And his tips would balloon

But was into dads, grandads and grandsons

A purveyor of decadence, Lionel

Would oft dress in a gimp mask and vinyl

Found it tricky to pick

For he so adored dick

But also loved all things vaginal

Once a chap who was self isolated

Day and night himself hard violated

He developed a cough

And his penis fell off

And his sphincter was annihalated

An oft aroused lass from Aruba

Had a vagina shaped like a tuba

Should the wind blow just right

It would play silent night

And in bed there was no need to lube her.

 

A food fetish fan from Bermuda

Had a wife but he wanted one ruder

Who’d rub guac on his nips

Place asparagus tips

Deep inside him then smear him in gouda.

Once a fine undertaker named Pete

Had a secret, though kept it discrete

Until caught late one night

Cleaner shaken, the sight

Of him rubbing himself on dead feet.

Forgetful chap who was inclined

To place objects inside his behind

Ended up youtube famous

For his cavernous anus

Left him gaping, but he did not mind

A legumephile lady of Queens

Just could not get enough of the beans

Kidney, Fava and more so

Haricot, Black and Pinto

Flatulent, blew a hole in her jeans.

 

Once a devoted girfriend named Julie

Vowed to love her beau, madly and truly

But when out on the town

Knickers soon were pulled down

On the vodka quite wild and unruly.

There once was a fellow called Jesus

Connoisseur of the finest of cheeses

“Bring some Brie” he’d insist

“I’ll make wine, we’ll get pissed”

Red, white, rose – whatever he pleases.

A betrayed french wife,  Mademoiselle Eiffel

Went to jail, for she used Monsieur’s Rifle

Caught his with her next door

Eating puddings galore

Found him balls deep in her Sunday trifle

Christian couple in love, most appealing

Was desire but they fought it, prayed kneeling

Waited patient ’till wed

In Christ’s love took to bed

Balls so blue when he came, hit the ceiling.

Once a fine undertaker named Pete

Had a secret, though kept it discrete

Until caught late one night

Cleaner shaken, the sight

Of him rubbing himself on dead feet.