Oh wow look, yet another limerick.

Something for the weekend.

Horny friend of mine met this girl called Grace

Adams apple and quite stubbly face

Such a shock he received

At night’s end quite deceived

Her explosion all over his face

Surprise!! Yet another one of these

Don’t go acting all surprised.

A good friend of mine took her new lover

Off to bed only there to discover

He was epileptic, and thrashed

During sex, how she splashed

Up the walls, on the floor and bed cover.

 

Another Tttttuesday limerick.

Cavernous!

“Check your prostate” my friend’s wife insisted

so he went pants, dropped face red and twisted

he enjoyed it so much

and went home and begged such

that each night he’s oiled up, roughly fisted

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A limerick collection

Actually, it’s just gone Monday…

I am finally getting around to putting my limericks into a book. Or some at least.  There are about 600 on here so I have plenty to choose from.  I think I will call the book “Inappropriate”.

It’s funny going through them because mostly I do not remember them at all…Here are a few I did that I think tell you where I am heading with this.


African crisis I never
have seen such despair, no not ever.
Drought, pain, loss, civil war,
HIV, death and more.
But hey, least they’ve got lovely weather.

 

I fellow I know, a romancer.

Lovely wife, healthy kids and great dancer.

Had it all so he thought

but it all came to nought

when he died really young of bowel cancer.

 

 

A fellow joined up and no doubt

A true patriot so he shipped out.

Lost his legs to a mine,

had some made now he’s fine,

and he always gets parked when he’s out

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Sunday limerick for you

Actually, it’s just gone Monday…

Once a hairy young lady called Betty

When aroused became musty and sweaty

she’d be down on all fours

as it oozed from her pores

wet and matted, hair hung like spaghetti

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hey look a limerick on a Sunday.

And with a religious theme

Once a fellow most holy and pious

who’s wife like a desert was dry as

till she found masturbation

with the male congregation

For the larger of girth, had a bias

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hey look a limerick on a Thursday.

It’s better than a punch in the tit I guess…Just about.

Once a chap, a big fan of fake boobs

fake vaginas, dildos and fruit lubes

would stay home every night

enjoy solo delight

placing things inside all of his tubes