A reminder that I did these once
Read here if you’re wondering “why the bloody hell is he writing fetish haiku?”
Maschalagnia
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Head down inhaling
hot musky heady odours
tangy on the tongue
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Armpits. Some people are get all amorous for pits. Fair enough I guess.
That will need antibiotics I imagine.
There once hailed a young man from Dublin
saw the doctor who said “It’s quite troubling,
that it’s looking most queer
could be syphilis I fear
as it’s covered in puss and is bubbling.”
Like stars that pierce the inky void
of night she sparkles as she spins
through space and time and all about
look up and watch as bright she burns
–
Beyond the moons of myth and lore
He watches, blinded by the joy
And hearts entwined they find their place
Hearts lifted at the setting sun
–
Forever sighs, and promise kept
And dying suns adorn her train
Of endless night, left in her wake
Their forever sighs, and calls her near
Eternal bound in endless skies
And dying suns adorn her train
Of darkest night, left in her wake
–
Beyond the veil they dip and swoop
Through nebula and pinpricked paths
‘Till time no more stands in their path
To evermore’s sweetest embrace
Limerick o’clock…
Southern chap, needin’ some lovin’
Had a thing with his buxom young cousin
Made a freak, quite inbred
With 3 arms,half a head
Put a coudin/son bun in her oven…
WORTHLESS WORDS…
This starless nothing spins, consuming
And withers, just like time
Pale faced, backs bent, and fingers clicking
Silent lips mouth blissful groans, sublime
Emerging, shed cocoon sticky underfoot
They slither in foul brine, gasping
And to a damned eternity
He bleeds his lot to everlasting
Each promise kept betrays his heart
And dead eyes fed the crows
As shadows hide the things that lurk
In darkest corners, yet each day it grows
Until Quite spent he slips to sleep
And dreams alleviate
The claws and teeth, blood red that feast
Born out of contenpt,lies and hate
Another day, more of this…
This is no Haiku
I will not be restricted
Wont curtail my verse
Protest all you like
With your tight little structure
Impingeing my flow
Now away with you
And let me enjoy freedom
Words flow like water
In your face haiku
I cannot abide your grip
Eat my verbose words!
D is for stuff, right?
Give me the D, or is it he that surely D deserves
And surely something so profound needs more to calm the nerves
For D , you see, can be what he, or she or we desire
While we presume for our own good
this D would give what a bee should
in sweetness, sticky and sublime
I fight to keep this D of mine
And stake a claim and over time
will learn to be the he who sees the D
and thinks, perhaps it’s not for me
and O-M-G feel free to see that we can be
A he, him, she without the need forD and what might be
How do I love thee? Not standing apparently…
Oh how love changes
Ebbs and flows like surging tides
Thoughts hidden, revealed
That’ll teach him
Piss soaked socks, last straw
Desperate times call for the most
desperate of measures
A little light haiku relief…
Proof that haiku do not always have to be serious…
The life of the clown
by day bringing joy, by night
he’s under your bed
night time toilet trip
lights out, think I saw a clown
run back to bed scared
Long hair and tight jeans
he watches her walk and lusts
bugger, it’s a bloke!
hot tea before bed
up three times throughout the night
Damn old man’s bladder!
A rude one about a woman and her need for a particularly large penis.
A cavernous lass, quite pedantic
who insisted on cocks most gigantic
No nine inchers for her
(unless girth) she don’t care
Only upwards of twelve get her frantic
I should be better than this, I know…
A closeted fellow called Bryan
Said he didn’t like cock but was tryin’
So so hard to resist
Tip the size of a fist
Big thick shaft, massive balls, oh he’s lyin’
A limerick for you
Friend of mine tells of this chap she dated
Whos bum play need could not be sated
She’d spend hours, days, weeks
Hard at work ‘twixt his cheeks
Soiled the bed when he ejaculated
Don’t go acting all surprised.
A squirty young lass took her lover
Off to bed only there to discover
He was epileptic, and thrashed
During sex, how she splashed
Up the walls, on the floor and bed cover.
Killing diminuitive Japanese poetry one abomination at a time…
New year, off in search
Things we lost along the way
When diets failed us
Why the devil not, eh!
A DIY lover, Matilda
Had a thing for her hot neighbour Builder
Stay composed? Oh she failed
When he hammered and nailed
And to watch him fill holes, nearly killed her
Now there’s a man who knows what he likes, and he likes what he knows.
There once was a Scotsman called Warren
Who kept treasures galore ‘neath his sporran
How the ladies would wilt
If he lifted his kilt
But he much preferred boys, tanned and foreign
Ruining diminuitive Japanese poetry one picture at a time
With words does ensnare
and all resistance removes
silver tongued devil
Just a little something before bed…
Kinda inspired by this if you’ve never read it. I think its one of my best…I even did an audio version.
There are things that pass my lips that I so willingly enjoy
A baby cow, a deer, some sheep, to them utensils I deploy
Fried , roasted, dipped in fondue cheese my preferences are wide
I know they’re cute on the outside, but I so crave the meat inside
Loin, flank, short rib, grass fed, food bid, to stop my clothes from spoiling
Oh whip me up wild roaming fowl, salted, spiced post boiling
These things I lust, my lips do quiver in anticipation
I realise it leaves some folk in the most sternest consternation
But they are safe, so rest assured, my menu rightly lacks their cut
For far too lean and scrawny I do find them, they don’t satisfy my gut
And even though you add some veg, add onions or some aubergine in
No thanks, fear not, I’ll have a salad, for I could never eat a vegan
A rude one about a woman and her need for a particularly large penis.
A cavernous lass, quite pedantic
who insisted on cocks most gigantic
No nine inchers for her
(unless girth) she don’t care
Only upwards of twelve get her frantic
One to read out loud…it works, trust me
Once a tight sphinctered fellow called Tristin
Took a liking for stranger-based fisting
In back alleys often found
With his pants on the ground
With some chap, as he yelled “Get your wrist in!”
Mmmmm tasty…
Married chap I know has him a mistress
Who it turns out will eat only citrus
Says her ass tastes sublime
Just like lemons and lime
And he raves of her tangerine Clitoris
Oh I’m sure every family has been there. No? Oh…right…sorry. Well bet Im the only one with this title in a blog post EVER!
he watched plumber porn
Connected to the Bluetooth
while folks ate salad
A hallmark moment…
Heard you’re under the weather and wheezy
and your bottom is really quite breezy
and you’re head’s thick and snotty
and your breath’s pretty grotty
lots of fluids and rest, take it easy
Killing diminuitive Japanese poetry one abomination at a time…
Sweet hyperbole
In pursuit of fair romance
oft on deaf ears falls
Afterwards 