A buck naked naturist, Brian
A new hobby of cooking was tryin’
Threw the meat in too quick
Burnt the tip of his dick
When a juicy thick steak he was fryin’
Hey, look, another limerick…
Always wear an apron
Tag: limerick
A limerick to start off your Saturday
Choo-choo
Kinky chap with a train Fascination
Loved the ride and the smooth Undulation
Was a wonderful perk
Should the train shake and jerk
As it aided his wild masturbation
Tuesday. Hmm.
nothing to see, move along…
New neighbour it seems
inspire his bird watching love
dirty bush rustler
Limerick O’Clock
Mmmmmeaty
Once a lass, quite aroused by raw liver
and my word how fresh tripe made her shiver
sweet breads made her quite hot
offal? Creams on the spot
A fresh snout made her moist and legs quiver
Yawn, another limerick etc etc.
A rude one about a woman and her need for a particularly large penis.
A cavernous lass, quite pedantic
who insisted on cocks most gigantic
No nine inchers for her
(unless girth) she don’t care
Only upwards of twelve get her frantic
Limerick ?
I should be better than this, I know…
A closeted fellow called Bryan
Said he didn’t like cock but was tryin’
So so hard to resist
Tip the size of a fist
Big thick shaft, massive balls, oh he’s lyin’
A truly filthy poo sex limerick
stay well away…
A horny young lad from Korea
69ing, though had diahhorea
In the midst of the fun
Felt a stir in his bum
Filled his partners mouth, nose, eyes and ear
Limerick ?
A limerick for you
Friend of mine tells of this chap she dated
Whos bum play need could not be sated
She’d spend hours, days, weeks
Hard at work ‘twixt his cheeks
Soiled the bed when he ejaculated
Surprise!! Yet another one of these
Don’t go acting all surprised.
A squirty young lass took her lover
Off to bed only there to discover
He was epileptic, and thrashed
During sex, how she splashed
Up the walls, on the floor and bed cover.
New Year. Same old limericks
Why the devil not, eh!
A DIY lover, Matilda
Had a thing for her hot neighbour Builder
Stay composed? Oh she failed
When he hammered and nailed
And to watch him fill holes, nearly killed her
Sunday Limerick anyone?
This week I shall explore those ‘get well soon’ limericks I so enjoy.
Once a chap who lived south of the border
placed a custom job sex doll web order
Tiny mouth, googly eyes
nipples large, like pork pies
a big butt ‘cos he like his dames broader
Yawn, another limerick.
A rude one about a woman and her need for a particularly large penis.
A cavernous lass, quite pedantic
who insisted on cocks most gigantic
No nine inchers for her
(unless girth) she don’t care
Only upwards of twelve get her frantic
A Monday Limerick
It’s Monday where I am. Let us start the week with a special bit of meaty madness…
A butcher, too fond of his meat
Rubbed himself with pigs ears and cows feet
Would spend weekend a quiver
As he fondled lambs liver
Would explode at the sight of meats sweet
A Limerick. Dirty.
Mmmmm tasty…
Married chap I know has him a mistress
Who it turns out will eat only citrus
Says her ass tastes sublime
Just like lemons and lime
And he raves of her tangerine Clitoris
Limerick time. Avert your eyes
I know I should be better than this.
Once a dirty scout master from from Kent
Spent weekends round young boys in a tent
Now he’s locked up in jail
With no prospects of bail
Passed around cells at night, sphincter spent
Bluetooth Porn Haiku.
Oh I’m sure every family has been there. No? Oh…right…sorry. Well bet Im the only one with this title in a blog post EVER!
he watched plumber porn
Connected to the Bluetooth
while folks ate salad
Inappropriate limerick o’clock
Just pop her into the recovery position, she’ll be reet
An epileptic lass called Theresa
During sex would squirt high like a geyser
If pleased ever so right
Eyes rolled back in delight
And then squeal and go into a seizure
A get well soon Limerick x
A hallmark moment…
Heard you’re under the weather and wheezy
and your bottom is really quite breezy
and you’re head’s thick and snotty
and your breath’s pretty grotty
lots of fluids and rest, take it easy
Another limerick. Dirty.
Confession time
A God fearing hooker Celeste
Who down on her knees would confess
Let the cleansing begin
Of her mouth full of sin
Get that massive big load off her chest
It’s Monday where I am. Just. Limerick time.
Aah the things we deny ourselves…
Once a lady with grace, class and poise
Had a craving for both girls and boys
She would keep it well hidden
What she thought was forbidden
And so got through so many sex toys
Limerick? Go on. It’s just a small one.
Life lessons, free. No need to thank me.
Once a chap who was wooing a lass
Treat her fine, with respect and such class
But he failed in his quest
She liked perverts the best
Who would crave her big boobs and fine ass
Limerick perhaps?
A moment of mirth as the world burns
A quite chilly vet from Cancun
Made a hat from a baby baboon
Made a scarf from some kittens
Turned some puppies to mittens
Found himself rather warm pretty soon
And still another valentine limerick…
Feel free to borrow this gents. The ladies will swoon, trust me
How I love thee and all of your beauty
And your kind gentle soul it so moves me
You’re quite perfect it seems
Youre the girl of my dreams
With you vice grip vagina, round booty
More valentines limerick perhaps?
Especially for you….you know who you are
A quite flacid husband called Bill
Pleased his wife, took a viagra pill
All night long, how he railed her
Now she walks like a sailor
With her sticky jizz thighs, what a thrill
A Wednesday Limerick.
Well it is Wednesday after all.
A betrayed french wife, Mademoiselle Eiffel
Went to jail, for she used Monsieur’s Rifle
Caught his with her next door
Eating puddings galore
Found him balls deep in her Sunday trifle
Afterwards 