Married chap I know has him a mistress
Who it turns out will eat only citrus
Says her ass tastes sublime
Just like lemons and lime
And he raves of her tangerine Clitoris
A Limerick. Dirty indeed.
mmmmm tasty
Category: limericks
Haiku. For u.
Diminuitive poetry. meh…
Sneaks downstairs at night
Rotund cake stealing ninja
Smamed by the fridge lights
Look, a limerick!
mmmmm meaty…
A wayward young Muslim from York
Lost his faith, found a craving for pork
Chops, ribs, sausage and pies
Shin, cheeks, shoulder and thighs
Of his findness for snout, he would talk
Yawn, yet another limerick.
Beastly…
farmer confessed one day when hard boozing
To arousal when livestock perusing
He would moan in his sleep
Dreams of round bottomed sheep
Mornigns wake up quite sticky and oozing
A Limerick
Sporty treats
There once was a lady from Brugge
Had a thing for young men doing luge
For spandex cannot hide
The thick treats as they slide
Be they tiny, mid range or quite huge
Limerick time. Men.
A love addled fellow called Victor
Knew this lass, in his dreams kissed and licked her
But she flatly refused
To be courted or woo’d
So alone, wanks to her facebook picture
Limerick. Don’t read it. Seriously. You’ve been warned.
Nasty girl
A young undertaker names Beth
Had a quite frightful case of bad breath
For she loved giving head
To the stiffening dead
How she loved the dank taste of sweet death
Limerick ?
A limerick for you
Friend of mine tells of this chap she dated
Whos bum play need could not be sated
She’d spend hours, days, weeks
Hard at work ‘twixt his cheeks
Soiled the bed when he ejaculated
Surprise!! Yet another one of these
Don’t go acting all surprised.
A squirty young lass took her lover
Off to bed only there to discover
He was epileptic, and thrashed
During sex, how she splashed
Up the walls, on the floor and bed cover.
New Year. Same old limericks
Why the devil not, eh!
A DIY lover, Matilda
Had a thing for her hot neighbour Builder
Stay composed? Oh she failed
When he hammered and nailed
And to watch him fill holes, nearly killed her
Sunday Limerick anyone?
This week I shall explore those ‘get well soon’ limericks I so enjoy.
Once a chap who lived south of the border
placed a custom job sex doll web order
Tiny mouth, googly eyes
nipples large, like pork pies
a big butt ‘cos he like his dames broader
Limerick. Enjoy.
Scientific!
A perverse math’matician of note
to work out his cock volume, he wrote
“Times the length by the girth”
He reported with mirth
And then published with pics and did gloat.
Eat my big fat limerick
Now there’s a man who knows what he likes, and he likes what he knows.
There once was a Scotsman called Warren
Who kept treasures galore ‘neath his sporran
How the ladies would wilt
If he lifted his kilt
But he much preferred boys, tanned and foreign
Limerick?
Read it a few times, it does work I assure you…
A landscaper with uncontrolled hard on
to a customer did beg her pardon
He could not spare her blushes
When he worked with her bushes
Pitched quite a tent in her wild lady garden
Happy Tuesday WordPress.
Tricky limericky
Once a lass from the banks of the Humber
Who did quite shocking things with cucumber
What she did with a squash
Made you wince and say gosh
But oh how you’d kill for her number
Hey look a limerick on a Sunday.
A sunday quickie
Once a fellow most holy and pious
who’s wife like a desert was dry as
till she found masturbation
with the male congregation
For the larger of girth, had a bias
Butt based Limerick…
One from the archives
Once a cyclist of note, name of Mike
Big old smile as he peddled his bike
Look of bliss on his face
For the seat he’d replaced
With a dildo, he really did like!
Yawn, another limerick.
A rude one about a woman and her need for a particularly large penis.
A cavernous lass, quite pedantic
who insisted on cocks most gigantic
No nine inchers for her
(unless girth) she don’t care
Only upwards of twelve get her frantic
Get well soon you dirty little monkey
So a businessman based up in Libya
from his trip brought home crabs and chlymidia
and a vase from Phuket
from a trans chap he met
and a rash from this lass from Namibia
A Monday Limerick
It’s Monday where I am. Let us start the week with a special bit of meaty madness…
A butcher, too fond of his meat
Rubbed himself with pigs ears and cows feet
Would spend weekend a quiver
As he fondled lambs liver
Would explode at the sight of meats sweet
Its limerick time baby…
One to read out loud…it works, trust me
Once a tight sphinctered fellow called Tristin
Took a liking for stranger-based fisting
In back alleys often found
With his pants on the ground
With some chap, as he yelled “Get your wrist in!”
A Limerick. Dirty.
Mmmmm tasty…
Married chap I know has him a mistress
Who it turns out will eat only citrus
Says her ass tastes sublime
Just like lemons and lime
And he raves of her tangerine Clitoris
Limerick time. Avert your eyes
I know I should be better than this.
Once a dirty scout master from from Kent
Spent weekends round young boys in a tent
Now he’s locked up in jail
With no prospects of bail
Passed around cells at night, sphincter spent
Bluetooth Porn Haiku.
Oh I’m sure every family has been there. No? Oh…right…sorry. Well bet Im the only one with this title in a blog post EVER!
he watched plumber porn
Connected to the Bluetooth
while folks ate salad
Inappropriate limerick o’clock
Just pop her into the recovery position, she’ll be reet
An epileptic lass called Theresa
During sex would squirt high like a geyser
If pleased ever so right
Eyes rolled back in delight
And then squeal and go into a seizure
Afterwards 