Another day another limerick.
A skinny young postman called pat
Who could eat but could never get fat
Pies and cakes, buns and sweets,
vegetables, breads and meats
Had a tapeworm you see, fancy that
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
Image courtesy of me
Another day another limerick.
Proof that the limerick form can make sad things less so.
A chubby young fellow called Giles
Got a rather bad case of the piles
Doc said “Don’t be so glum –
pop this cream in your bum,
’till they’re gone just sit carefully and smile
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
Image courtesy of me
A little light haiku relief…
Proof that haiku do not always have to be serious…
The life of the clown
by day bringing joy, by night
he’s under your bed
night time toilet trip
lights out, think I saw a clown
run back to bed scared
Long hair and tight jeans
he watches her walk and lusts
bugger, it’s a bloke!
hot tea before bed
up three times throughout the night
Damn old man’s bladder!
One drink after work
woke up in the back garden
bloody sambuca!
More stuff? Ive tons and tons of stuff!
Jeffrey and Cho – FFFAW Challenge
Lion and Zebra – Daily Prompt – Hidden
Probing – a cautionary tale – Daily prompt
Another day another limerick.
Been a bit busy of late so best I can muster is …another lunch time limerick. Proof that the limerick form can make sad things less so.
Lovely fellow was left at the alter
loved her still So he just would not fault her
She ran off with her lover
then got aids from another
and then died late last year in Gibralter
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
Image courtesy of me
Another day another limerick.
Another day another lunch time limerick.
She’s quite gender fluid my gran
so this week she’s being a man
she looks ever so weird
with her moustache and beard
insisting we call her nan Stan
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
Image courtesy of me
Another day another limerick.
Another day another lunch time limerick.
A cheeky young lass from Djabouti
buxom, curvaceous, such beauty
she was caught in the park
with a ginger lad, mark
who brought sausage and whipped cream, so fruity!
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
Image courtesy of pixabay
A couple of Haiku in response to Colleen’s weekly challenge
I think just a few haiku this week…
Eagles soar above
young chicks wait with hungry mouths
blood covered talons
Perhaps Ill try another with a different spelling…
Gall stones killing me
Sore? it’s bloody agony
overweight you see
More?
More limericks about sad things
Haiku Challenge – Hope and Stay
The intergalactic language of tea – Daily Prompt
Another day another limerick.
Another day another limerick. True story and so sad but see how the limerick form makes it just a little less sombre…
A chap’s lovely young bride named Jane
had a tumor alas in her brain
she died, you can tell
he’d insured her quite well
bought a quite lovely villa in Spain
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
Image courtesy of pixabay
Looks like lunch time limerick has become a thing…sorry.
What shall we look at today…hmmm
A church going chap who loved learning
one day felt a rather strong yearning
he’d enjoyed fifty shades
now feels wholly depraved
and wakes up every day with loins burning
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
Image courtesy of pixabay
Looks like lunch time limerick has become a thing…sorry.
Yes, it is that time again…
A virginal groom of low worth
just 5 inches, got married in Perth
wedding night, all revealed
with delight his bride sqeualed
was not length that he’d measured but girth
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
Image courtesy of pixabay
I am going to have to admit that I love writing these. Today I think I shall write about terrible things that happen to good people.
I am going to have to admit that I love writing these. Today I think I shall write about terrible things that happen to good people.
A woman that I work with a Saint
broke her spine when she slipped on some paint
She’s bed ridden and blue
Her hub said he’d be true
now he’s doing her mum, so he aint.
My friend had a wife quite divine
got addicted to cake, crack and wine
really let herself go
and her bottom did grow
only 30 but looks fifty nine
An arab chap born in Kuwait
stole the hub of a really good mate
it was all quite a mess
he looked good in a dress
now they’re married, he calls himself Kate
My sister got hammered one night
with her boyfriend got into a fight
so she stayed out real late
and then slept with his mate
now she’s single again, such delight
4. I like doing 4.
Want something different?
We unlikely few – An Armitage tangent
Probing – a cautionary tale – Daily prompt
A haiku challenge on the matter of “taste”
A few scribbles in response to the haiku challenge found at the link below.
https://haikuhorizons.wordpress.com/2017/08/20/haiku-horizons-prompt-taste/
Fighting with the wife
Me: “You’ve awful taste ! She:
“Yeah I married you!”
Lets try another…
Just a tiny taste
Maybe just one more mouth full
whole cake devoured
And one last one
First stolen kisses
The taste of her lips on mine
Oh god a smoker
Fancy More?
my quest to determine whether a limerick can make the most horrid subject a little less so…
my quest to determine whether a limerick can make the most horrid subject a little less so…
I fellow I know, a romancer
lovely wife, healthy kids and great dancer
had it all so he thought
but it all came to nought
when he died really young of brain cancer
These Twins at birth were separated
who later in life met and dated
they had kids, sad to say
hip conjoined by the way
now in freak show they’re quite celebrated
“You’re adopted” says father to son
“and I’ve just had a chat to your mum
It’s just not working out
we don’t want you about
this parenting lark’s just no fun.”
Want to read more of my stuff?
Crude, infantile and fun to write. Gotta be better than what’s going on in the world right?
Crude, infantile and fun to write. Gotta be better than what’s going on in the world right?
Cannibals in love
“How do you feel about kids?”
“can’t eat a whole one”
First day of diet
Accidental carrot cake
I’ll start tomorrow
Spicy curry night
poppadoms and spicy dip
explosive repeats
miles from a toilet
buttocks clenched eyes watering
oh look a turtle!
having a fiddle
mood gone, discovered a lump
testicle lopped off
Want to read more of my stuff? It’s not all like that promise…
Ronovan’s weekly haiku challenge – Hope and Stay
Let’s start with a haiku or two shall shall we. The rules do let me play with synonyms which I might explore too.
In my heart you’ll stay
you drift into the darkness
hope of afterlife
seems a bit serious..
walked her home tonight
Invited in for coffee
hope she lets me stay
another maybe
husband caught, hope lost
empty promises to change
if you let him stay
All very serious…maybe a Tanka
See Maurice eating
watch him gorge on cheese in bed
eats cake in the night
Where can he get new trousers
ones with the elastic waist
Hmmm….not really feeling it.
These ones we kind of funny if you fancy more
Not had time to write today, so here’s a quick Donald limerick.
A day in the life of the Donald in limerick form.
l am not particularly interested in politics at all but as far
as reasons to write the golden haired golf playing POTUS
is certainly good value for money.
Oh Donald with golden hair you
must wake up with so much to do
But you sit on the shitter
Posting rantings to twitter
Like some mad man who’s been sniffing glue
This morning you’ll take on the press
Fake News!” blah blah blah…what a mess
And your staff organise
cover ups of your lies
but we know that you couldn’t care less
Then a snack and nap if you can
While you dream up your next foolish plan
“Build a wall!” hear him scream
as he wakes from a dream
Then he bans anyone with a tan.
Now it’s time to try sort out the health
care bill as its wasting the wealth
Of the rich on the frail
And the people who ail
If you can’t then you’ll kill it through stealth
Now some lunch as it’s been go go go
Then there’s pussy to grab don’t you know
“When you’re rich, don’t you see
It is pretty much free
And the women will never say no!”
After Lunch its some golf with your chums
As your right wing pals get out their guns
Pillow case on their heads
Wrapped in sheets from their beds
Picking fights with the cross lefty mums
For the rest of the day you’ll be rooting
For your very good friend Vlad the Putin
As he wrestles with bears
punches babies and hares
and gives puppies a right proper booting
Then pre dinner you’ll probably fire
Some fellow you’d chosen to hire
Just this morning “but hey
they’ve been here like a day
that’s the price for provoking my ire!”
After Dinner its time for some more
planning your own major war
just like George dubya Bush
(Who you secretly crush)
And whö’s father you really adore
Then tucked up in bed as you’ve been
Working hard at just not-being-green
The planet you’ll slaughter
you dream of your daughter
And of making Ang Merkel your queen
Fancy something else?
https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/03/first-blog-post/
https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/14/we-unlikely-few/
Photo courtesy of Haft
https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/organize/
eh7@pixabay
Topical, insightful an getting to the heart of the subjects that really matter
If you’ve read any of me then you may well know I like to dabble in inappropriate haiku and limericks. I know some of the subject matter is a little awkward but work with me…now and then I stumble upon one that’s actually quite good.
Michael
A few limericks to start…
Kim-Jun and Donald so hot
For each other though they insist not
But I reckon they would
If only they could
Not get caught making love high on pot
Single dad collects guns for a hobby
Had a son known as Bob, Rob or Robbie
But alas now he’s dead
Fatal shot to the head
From a gun he found primed in the lobby
Poverty, nukes, death and drought
Why leave home, I am not going out
At TV I sit glaring
but I’m really past caring
Time for curry in bed with a stout
African crisis I never
have seen such despair no not ever
Drought, pain loss, Civil War
HIV, death and more
But hey, least they’ve got lovely weather
And a few haiku for good measure…
Eighteen convicted
North East children now safer
Pretty prison mouths
Head down crossed the road
He never saw it coming
Bus grill needs cleaning
Photo courtesy of pixabay
Afterwards 