Your rather late lunchtime limerick 25/02/18

Incy wincy oh my bloody hell!

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Oh I hear that your feeling unwell

You got bit and it started to swell

Lets hope it’s not a spider

That then laid eggs inside ya

Cos they’ll burst out, that’s scary as hell

Your lunchtime limerick 24/02/18

Ooh what a lovely baguette you have sir

There once was a baker called Brad

Who was fancied by his girlfriend’s dad

The thought of his baguette

Brought him out in a sweat

And his cheese topped bread rolls drove him mad

Your lunchtime limerick 03/02/17

Inappropriate and just a bit…meh

There once was a chap who loved cake

so much so that for sponges he’d ache

for panache he would pine

for gateau most sublime

fell  in love with a lass who could bake

 

It’s saturday…not my best day for limericks.  


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I don’t have a dog called Caper – Daily prompt

I tried to say goodbye.

You did what to my Gran!?!?

 

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Your lunchtime limericks 02/02/17

 

Once a prudish young woman named Jude

Had a belly that seemed to protrude

It turned out to be gas

Cos she not let her ass

pass wind as he found it quite rude

 

I once worked with a woman called Cath

Didn’t shower and seldom did bath

god the stench from her pits

Tits and rank naughty bit

It’s not funny you so shouldn’t laugh

 

 

 


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I set myself a challenge this week…

Fatties in space – The Poem. Not for kiddies

Glorious – Daily Prompt

 

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Your lunchtime limericks 01/02/17

Limericks? In the middle of the day? Surely not…

There once was a teacher named Tash

Who one day she did sprout a moustache

Cross her lip it did wend

And curl up at the end

Joined the circus and made loads of cash

 

There once was a farmer maned Bert

Loved his milk cows so much that it hurt

Went too far, made me shudder

What he did with that udder

Let’s just say that it caused quite the squirt…

 

There once was dancer called Shirley

Who’s pubes were quite thick and most curly

It was full and so plush

A most seventies bush

Who’d have thought for a creature most girly

 

 


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I set myself a challenge this week…

Fatties in space – The Poem. Not for kiddies

Glorious – Daily Prompt

 

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Your lunchtime limerick 01/10/17

Another day another limerick.

This week the lunchtime limerick subject will be desire or something kind of inappropriate.

I seem to hate Trump, ghastly man

And I write of his deeds when i can

I should really relax

but he seems to hate blacks

and the poor and the sick and Islam

 


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I set myself a challenge this week…

Fatties in space – The Poem. Not for kiddies

Glorious – Daily Prompt

 

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Your lunchtime limerick 30/9/17

Another day another limerick.

 

This week the lunchtime limerick subject will be desire or something kind of inappropriate.

 

Orange faced oaf of much note

looks to hide how he’s stolen your vote

picking fights, talking shite

big applause from the right

“Crooked Hilary lost” hear him gloat.

 


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I set myself a challenge this week…

Fatties in space – The Poem. Not for kiddies

Glorious – Daily Prompt

 

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Your lunchtime limerick 29/9/17

Another day another limerick.

 

This week the lunchtime limerick subject will be desire or something kind of inappropriate.

 

A house wife from Bradford called Jess

Caught her hub one day wearing a dress

How it made her eyes pop

So he’s having the op

Now her Trevor’s becoming a Tess

 


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I set myself a challenge this week…

Fatties in space – The Poem. Not for kiddies

Glorious – Daily Prompt

 

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Your lunchtime limerick 28/9/17

Another day another limerick.

 

This week the lunchtime limerick subject will be desire or something kind of inappropriate.

 

There once was a kid, quite forlorn

Found a stash of his fathers best porn

Now he’s happy and glad

but his father’s quite mad

Cos the pages are sticky and torn

 


Want more stuff?  I have lots of stuff…

I set myself a challenge this week…

Fatties in space – The Poem. Not for kiddies

Glorious – Daily Prompt

 

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Your lunchtime limerick 27/9/17

Another day another limerick.

 

This week the lunchtime limerick subject will be desire or something kind of inappropriate.

There once was a chap from Japan

loved a lady but also a man

got the best of both worlds

when he found this Thai girl

called Petunia, but used to be Stan

 


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I set myself a challenge this week…

Fatties in space – The Poem. Not for kiddies

Glorious – Daily Prompt

 

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Your lunchtime limerick 26/9/17

Another day another limerick.

 

This week…The lunchtime limerick subject will be desire or something kind of inappropriate.

A suicide bomber names Bert

So frustrated, his testicles hurt

Blew himself into three

For the virgins you see

He was promised – tall, short, round and pert

 


Want more stuff?  I have lots of stuff…

I set myself a challenge this week…

Fatties in space – The Poem. Not for kiddies

Glorious – Daily Prompt

 

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Your lunchtime limerick 25/9/17

Another day another limerick.

 

This week…The lunchtime limerick subject will be desire or something kind of inappropriate.

Celibate, destined to be

Betrothed and in marriage set free

But it came to an end

When he banged her best friend

And said “join us babe, let’s make it three”

 


Want more stuff?  I have lots of stuff…

I set myself a challenge this week…

Fatties in space – The Poem. Not for kiddies

Glorious – Daily Prompt

 

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Your lunchtime limerick 24/9/17

Another day another limerick.

On being someone’s prison wife…

 

A posh boy addicted to coke

Stole a car and ran over a bloke

When the cops found him out

“My dads rich” he did shout

pretty mouth like his,  jail is no joke

 

Happy Sunday!


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Sparrow and Snake #writephoto

Faeries: The long winter

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Your lunchtime limerick 23/9/17

Another day another limerick.

Okay, enough offending people.  Back to life and stuff…

 

A cheeky young fellow from Rhyll

Thought his girlfriend was still on the pill

shed forgotten to take

What a costly mistake

Now they’re 18 with twins,  what a thrill

 

Tomorrow…something else

 

 

 


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Faeries: The long winter

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Your lunchtime limerick 22/9/17

Another day another limerick.

 

One last one I think, as if I haven’t offended enough people already this week.  

 

A Jewish lass, Emily fisk

put her eternal life greatly at risk

with shrimp mussels and cod

she’d offended her god

Now each day she eats hot lobster bisque

 

Bit ropey but it’ll do…

 


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Sparrow and Snake #writephoto

Faeries: The long winter

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Your lunchtime limerick 21/9/17

Another day another limerick.

 

Continue my limericks on the fall from grace…

 

A Hindu lass hailing from Neath

caused her family much heartache and grief

and dishonour and shame

to the family name

As she sneakily gorged on roast beef

    

Back tomorrow with one last one I think

 


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Faeries: The long winter

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Your lunchtime limerick 20/9/17

Another day another limerick.

On the matter of losing one’s faith…continued

 

A Muslim chap hailing from York

had a secretive yearning for pork

so he gave up the life

shaved, de-shrouded his wife

gorging bacon and beans with a spork.

 

Tomorrow there will be beef…

 


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Sparrow and Snake #writephoto

Faeries: The long winter

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Your lunchtime limerick 19/9/17

Another day another limerick.

On losing one’s faith.

 

A handsome poor priest name of Chad

Found that boobies they made him most glad 

So he gave up the life 

Found a super hot wife 

With big lips, curvy hips and rich dad 

 

Tomorrow…something about Pork…

 

 

 


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Sparrow and Snake #writephoto

Faeries: The long winter

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Your lunchtime limerick 18/9/17

Another day another limerick.

 

It was suggested I do some saccharin sweet limericks…Ill give it a try I guess.  Feels a bit weird to be honest.

To my children

Each morning I look at your smiles

even though you both put us through trials

how your mother she bore you

I simply adore you

so does mum though you did give her piles

 

that could be a hallmark moment!

 


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Faeries: The long winter

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Your lunchtime limerick 17/9/17

Another day another limerick.

A jolly fat bellied chap , Nick

Christmas Eve of the children got sick

so he went to the pub

had some drinks and some grub

cancelled Christmas next day, what a dick

 

 


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Sparrow and Snake #writephoto

Faeries: The long winter

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Your lunchtime limerick 16/9/17

Another day another limerick.

 

A limerick, at lunchtime.  The clue’s in the title really…

 

A hillbilly chap, quite obese

one day coverered his sister in grease

from her toes to her head

then he took her to bed

she gave birth to his daughter and niece

 

maybe another incest based limerick because they fun

 

I once went to school with a lad

who had a quite young looking dad

turned out his mums lover

was his hot older brother

that’s just wrong, quite disturbing and mad

 

Anyway, have a good Saturday, not going to be writing much else today got a lot to do…

 


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Faeries: The long winter

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Your lunchtime limerick 15/9/17

Another day another limerick.

 

A limerick, at lunchtime.  The clue’s in the title really…

A sturdy young chap, Roger black

Hard liquor each night he knocked back

Young vibrant and bold

But then he got old

Now he’s fat and addicted to crack

 


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Sparrow and Snake #writephoto

Faeries: The long winter

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Your lunchtime limerick 14/9/17

Another day another limerick.

 

A limerick, at lunchtime.  The clue’s in the title really…

A cuddly bus driver from cleaves

was beset by a posse of thieves

stole his clothes, bus and phone

left him stranded alone

and his modesty covered by leaves

 


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Sparrow and Snake #writephoto

Faeries: The long winter

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Your lunchtime limerick 13/9/17

Another day another limerick.

A skinny young postman called pat

Who could eat but could never get fat

Pies and cakes, buns and sweets,

vegetables, breads and meats

Had a tapeworm you see, fancy that

 


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Faeries: The long winter

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Your lunchtime limerick 12/9/17

Another day another limerick.

Proof that the limerick form can make sad things less so. 

 

A chubby young fellow called Giles

Got a rather bad case of the piles

Doc said “Don’t be so glum –

pop this cream in your bum,

’till they’re gone just sit carefully and smile

 

 


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Sparrow and Snake #writephoto

Faeries: The long winter

More tea vicar ? 

 

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