I do not have a dog, and his name is not Caper. That is to say If I did have a trusted canine companion, then I am sure that Caper would be his name. Not Brian, nor Carl.
We do not go for long walks, and I do not have a special stick that I throw for him which he retrieves with such pleasure, dropping it at my feed for a treat and great praise. If though , as I have supposed, I did have a dog – named Caper (not Brian nor Carl) – then we would most definitely enjoy the outdoors more than I do now and he would always be there for me through thick and thin as only a dog called caper could be.
I do not have a dog named Caper and Caper and I do not sit on the couch on a Saturday night and watch television and eat pizza together, but if we did it would definitely be pepperoni because that would be his favourite I am sure and Caper would almost certainly eat the crusts that I leave.
Because I do not have a dog named Caper, each morning I am not awakened by him, and he is not happy to see me as much today as yesterday but not quite as much as he will be tomorrow.
I do not have a dog, and his name is not Caper and he did not run out into the road in front of a car.