Well I say that but sometimes you need a lawyer. or penicillin.
Once a chap with some erectile woes
Bad sleep walker as well, as it goes
One night took Viagra pill
down the stairs he did spill
Broke his shoulder, his cock and three toes
Perhaps the beginning of something.
These things tend to be short pieces that may or may not be the beginning of something else. I try to do them in 101 words. M’s prompt was ‘A Touch of Perfect’.
Every day Cal would wake and think that today would be his last. Today, he was right.
With his engines offline he tumbled through space at 30000 miles an hour towards his inevitable destination. He stabbed at the lifeless console hoping to gain control of the ship but it remained unresponsive save for the blink of the life support system.
Peering out of the starboard portal the moon swung slowly and ominously into sight, and just beyond her horizon he saw the Earth he’d left behind and would now never return to.
He then smiled and sat back in his chair. waiting…
Here are the new writing prompts for September. I hope all of you enjoy them! Happy writing! ~M xo And, if you’re new to the idea of writing with the help of prompts, here’s what I like to do with them… To begin, settle into your favorite place in the house with a hot drink […]
Not that it’ll help much but it’s something I guess.
Dark revelation
husband’s craving for vege’s
used sexually
Originally posted on In Saner Thought: About now most readers maybe getting weary of the Bad Lip Reading but I promise that today will be the last day until these guys make new ones… We all have heard or seen about the mash-up that Dear Leader is having with the NFL over the national anthem,…
As the seasons begin to change you might find yourself in need of a get well soon limerick. Well you might. Maybe.
Oh poor thing heard you snuffling and sneezing
and your chest sounds quite tight and you’re wheezing
so stop smoking, you dick
I don’t care that you’re sick
and not smelling you would be quite pleasing
Well okay that was rather rude wasn’t it. As an ex smoker I do still miss a cigarette from time to time, especially in the winter. Oddly less so in the summer. I enjoyed vaping for some time too but eventually got bored of the whole lot and packed it in. I do miss all the smoke breaks I used to take at work…
A great collection written by Neil Gibson
I have picked up so many different comic collections and graphic novel collections over the years and this is one of my favourites. Written by Neil Gibson and illustrated by various artists it is a collection of tales which are, as the title suggests, both twisted and dark.
The artwork is quite wonderful in it’s variety and perhaps different to that which you would be used to if your experience of comics is mainstream DV and Marvel kind of stuff.
Well worth picking up if you ever get the chance.
A piece from London Super Comic Con in 2013.
One of the real joys of the cons I visit is the thrill of one of your favourite artists being there and fingers crossed, getting them to do you a drawing. Back in 2013 I picked this piece up at London super comic convention, drawn by Mike Collins. I am a huge Rogue Trooper fan (and must show you my tattoo to prove it at some point).
Best known these days as a storyboard artist for TV (Doctor Who, Sherlock, Knightfall, Good Omens), Mike Collins has a thirty-year track record as a comic artist and writer, including producing a critically acclaimed adaptation of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. He has worked on all the major Marvel and DC characters, including Spider-Man, X-Men, Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman. He also draws a series of graphic novels based on the adventures of Varg Veum, Gunnar Staalesen’s iconic Norwegian private eye.
Quite often you can just stand there and watch them draw which is so very cool. I think this piece cost me £35 and took him quite some time. Certainly wasn’t a quick scribble.
Sunday shenanigans. Today I shall ponder the road that lies ahead.
mind slowly searches
Memories of yesteryear
Nope. Shit my pants too.
Got this for you if you’re in the mood.
Once a fellow woke up scared n screamin’
as he thought that he’d ran out of semen
with a groan and a thrust
just a moan and some dust
double checked, such relief, only dreamin’
I wrote this last year during my first meeting/welcome party at my job. I still find it entertaining. what an awkward meeting everyone’s staring at each other nobody has jack shit to say stare stare … all of these people will be dead in fifty years or close unless there’s a war […]
August in photos.
This week there was curry.
This week seems to have passed me by and I am not sure where it went. I was off work with the boys as it is the last week of the summer holidays. Early on in the week we headed to Wales for a few days and headed up Mount Snowden and had a mooch around Wales. Back end its been back to school shopping and getting all of those things done I wanted to do these 6 weeks.
With everything we had on I’ll admit I haven’t given much thought to food really. We stopped off at a place next to the motorway on the way there and faced with eating something I would likely kick myself for or nothing at all I went for nothing. When we got to the top of the mountain there was mostly pies on offer so I had a bite of each of the boys and that was enough. They had ice cream and I didn’t.
Now in the past this would have felt like a victory, and perhaps it is , but I was actually quite happy waiting until I could get something I really wanted.
There is certainly something of a change in my thinking and whilst there is a long way to go I am happy that for the most part I keep trying to make the right choices.
Oh and then I ate a gigantic gummy worm. I mean freaking huge.
Worth it!
Perhaps the beginning of something.
These things tend to be short pieces that may or may not be the beginning of something else. Originally they were 101 words but this month I will allow myself more. . M’s prompt was ‘ICY MORN’
It was cold the day it all ended. Unseasonably so according to the weathermen. The temperature had dropped overnight and a heavy frost made the grass crunch beneath Martin’s slippers as he shuffled out onto the common in front of the flat.
As neighbours gathered around him he watched open mouthed as the sky was set aflame in a firestorm of crimson, yellow and orange.
Darryl from upstairs said he’d heard there was a meteor heading for earth that the government had been covering up for months. Others simply wept. Mrs Melling from number 2 said it was divine retribution for something or other. Most likely something to do with buggery. For a woman who went to church each week she did often seem overly mindful of the subject and would insist it was the root of most of the problems in society.
He’d stopped listening by the time she got round to insisting that Jesus was no fan of bottom shenanigans because at that point a rather large space ship seemed to be descending through the clouds towards them…
Well it’s kind of a haiku. In form at least but beyond that, well less so. 🙂
sweetest desire
pursued, rebuffed, he persists
restraining order
Well it’s Saturday here…
Once a couple in search of some spice
thought that swinging might maybe be nice
turns out wasn’t for him
though his wife, with a grin
partakes every weekend, sometimes twice.
Aah the change of seasons feels very much upon us. Time to reflect upon life stuff…
Colleen’s Tanka Tuesday
This week the challenge was to use synonyms for CHANGE and DEFY. I used TRANSFORM and DISREGARD
whilst seasons transform
time disregards status quo
forward evermore
’till they put you in a home
and the kids never visit
Some great ideas here, might well take a look myself. Always great to support self publishers if you can!
Mind in the Gap has the approval of my advance readers and is now up for pre-order! So, I thought now was a good time to share some more details on the stories in the book with you. 1. The Predominator For as long as he can remember, ZXXX84 has lived in an android city […]
Perhaps the beginning of something.
These things tend to be short pieces that may or may not be the beginning of something else. Originally they were 101 words but this month I will allow myself more. . M’s prompt was ‘Wizards and wormholes
Farzlebarg took off his hat, scratched his head and ran a ponderous hand through his long white beard.
“Well, well, what the devil is that I wonder?” He said to himself, head tilted to one side.
“It’s a wormhole” came a very matter-of-fact reply.
Farzlebarg turned slowly to where his apprentice stood looking rather proud of himself.
“Have you ever heard of a rhetorical question boy?” The old wizard snapped.
Farbidoo nodded vigorously “A rhetorical question is a figure of speech in the form of a question that is…”
“Oh do shush boy, please. You really must work on your situational context.”
The boy lowered his head and quietened his voice “…asked to make a point rather than to elicit an answer.”
By this point the wizard had however stopped listening and had again turned his attention to the slowly rotating purple mass with the dark spinning centre that had taken up the majority of his already quite small kitchen.
“Curious indeed” he mused as he tossed a tea cup towards it and watched it disappear with a noise not wholly dissimilar to that of a wellington boot being pulled from the mud.
“I wonder where it came from” Farbidoo said peering around the old man.
“Do you really?” Farzlebarg asked. Whilst the boy was keen as mustard when it came to his studies he lacked a certain curiosity and bravery when it came to real world application.
“Well yes, there is a worm hole in the kitchen so I would most certainly want to know where it came from.”
Farzlebarg threw the matching saucer after the cup. There was little point of a saucer without a cup, and it disappeared with the same noise mud squelching noise.
“The question is not where it comes from boy, as interesting as that might be. The question you ought to be asking yourself is this…” He paused momentarily for dramatic effect. He did so enjoy a little tension in his delivery. The mark of a fine orator most certainly.
Farbidoo strained hanging on the old wizard’s every word.
“The question you ought to ask yourself boy…”
“Yes?”
The old man grabbed his arm.
“The question you should ask yourself, because it is far more interesting and holds the potential for much greater adventure, is where does it lead…”
Aah welcome weekend indeed
Selective smelling
father claims did not realise
baby leaking shit
Aah this takes me back to those selective moments when we first had kids. She would apparently not hear the middle of the night crying and I in turn would seldom realise that a nappy had just been filled. Must have been her motherly super senses I reckon that she just noticed first.
You get what you pay for I guess.
A Slovakian chap of poor breeding
could not quite find the bride he was needing
so he plumped for mail order
and he shipped ‘cross the border
makes her cook, clean, some gardening and weeding
The one where he gets fisted by Ken.
Part 1 Part2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5
Oh. My. God. Today was so damned hot.
That kid from next door came over for a play date and he was so much fun. Have I not mentioned him before? Oh he is one of my favourites. He’s the sort they think just needs to take his medication and to play with other normal kids to help him with his behavioural issues.
Trust me when I tell you he there is no helping him and one day he will appear on your television screens and you will be warned that he could be hiding in your out house, trouserless, and there will probably be an octogenarian on there shaking whilst she describes what he did to her cat when he was meant to be cleaning her gutters.
No, no, before you jump to conclusions I am not hot for him nor what he will likely do to animals one day but damn, that freaky little miscreant knows how to make us toys play doctor and nurse.
As soon as he was alone he made Barbie give up what I’ve been itching to taste ever since she got that new two piece and I was barely done buffing her smooth parts and he had the Lego Princess Leia give me an internal examination the likes of which a bear like me only dreams about.
I can see why Jabba liked to keep her on a short leash if you know what I mean.
I will even admit that by the he had Ken out of his boxers I was game for anything and as lacking as he might be south of the border anatomically he more than made up for it with those tightly balled fists of his.
God I cannot wait until they have him round again…
That was really good of him.
I read a blog today and they said god was on their side
As he blew the clouds away so they could see grand canyon wide
He took the time to let them view the splendour of his making
Which was kind of him, do you not think, that time out for them taking
Perhaps that’s why he quite forgot to stop priests raping kids
Cos he really neds those folk to see rock formations that he did
And that’s why LGBT folk in Muslim countries still get stoned
Cos he’s far too busy showing off the topography that he owned
But hey at least they got to see some pretty neat terrain
While Pentecostal pastor, Dollar, spent 65 mill’ on a plane
Just so grateful his priorities are where they need to be
god forbid he might do something good, but at least those folk can se
Back to the old 101 words for this one…
These things tend to be short pieces that may or may not be the beginning of something else. Originally they were 101 words but this month I will allow myself more. That said this one is 101 words. M’s prompt was ‘Frosted petals.”
Serena pulled the heavy pelts close around her ears as she stared out across the frozen landscape and towards the feint reminder of their folly. The pale light trickled across the landscape once bathed so bright and for one final time she watched shadows lengthen and then fade to nothing.
The thermal sources were all dead so this would be their last cycle. She knew that when they chose to remain their fates were sealed, and when the signals stopped as the fleet passed Mars they were truly alone.
In the dark they would die with Earth, and it felt right.
Seems his tastes have changed.
Convinced he was a boob man
One day she caught him looking
Turns out likes bums more.
Afterwards 