Out in the Van – Ilkley Moor

A day out in Yorkshire. And without one’s hat…

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Okay so not strictly speaking a van trip but a great day out clambering about the Cow and Calf up on Ilkley which is just a hop, skip and a jump from where I live.  

Pictures say it all really.  It was windy and somewhat grey but a lovely way to spend a good few hours indeed.

Out in the Van – Saltburn, Skinningrove and Runswick bay.

After a few days inland we headed to the coast because the boys fancied some body boarding. There weren’t great waves but we had a blast anyway. The cold never deterred them one bit and we found some lovely and fairly quiet beaches. (The chilly weather may account for that)

for that).

This is A gorgeous neck of the woods and we will be returning next year for sure.

But for now this is it, time to head to Cottingham in the morning to see my mum then its home in the afternoon.

Happy travels

Out in the Van – Tywyn and Fairbourne, North Wales.

July 2019

What a treat Tywyn is…Found this place by accident and after about three hours of arse numbing bottom clenching driving (due mostly to the final hour on some rather narrow hill top roads) we ended up on a farm right on the beach for 4 days just enjoying some pretty pleasand weather. Though the site had no electric the Solar panels kept the fridge running and the phones charged and me and the boys just spent a lot of time being in the same please with no real pressure to do much at all. There are lots you can do when you’re there which we neglected to enjoy, apart from some bodyboarding in Fairbourne, so we have plenty of reason to head back…

Out in the Van – Kirkby Lonsdale, Morecombe and Blackpool

June 2019

The youngest was at a party and playing cricket so the eldest and I headed out west to Kirkby Lonsdale. There is a rugby club there I wanted to check out that offer camping and we headed the sixty or so miles cross country to see what the score was.

Well we were indeed most surprised. The site was itself fairly standard fair but my god the views, walks and pubs were magnificent…

Look…see..All of that was within a few minutes of the site and the river view is one described by the artist Turner as one of the most beautiful in England (and therefore the world).

That was mostly Saturday, we wandered, went to the pub for tea instead of cooking, and sat around in the sun which was out for the first time in weeks.

Sunday Morning we packed up and headed to Morecombe to start a leisurely drive home. Alas I chose to take the scenic route and I lost both wing mirrors of the SpiderVan on a particularly narrow with a particularly carelss oncoming driver. Fortunately it was just the casings that broke so pretty cheap to replace. Scary as hell though when we hit his vehicle and a telephone pole at the same time. Or did he hit us? More his fault tbh – he was driving the sort of vehicle only driven by men with small cocks.

Some gaffer tape fixed her right up though. ††

Morecombe has a certain melancholy and sadness about it, but worth a wander about and I think it’s somewhere I would like to return to in winter as I do love a bleak run down seaside town.

Anyway after that we figured next up Blackpool for a spot of lunch before heading home. Ive been to blackpool once before, at night, and the famous illuminations were kinda cool and there were a lot of folk enjoying it and it had a fun if somewhat past its best vibe.

Foolishly this time I went in the day time.

What a shit hole. If it was a man it would be a once fun and charismatic ex who is now long past his best and who sits in his favourite chair with his gut spilling onto his lap, his hand in his pants caressing his unwashed penis and who longingly reminisces about the time he fingered Stacey Cooper at your cousins house party.

Needless to say we just kept driving and headed to a services to grab a Subway instead before heading home.

So all in all a lovely day and a half away and I will definitely be heading back to Kirkby Lonsdale and Morecombe…

Out in the Van – Vale of Pickering and Thornton le Dale

June 2019

Took the van out to the Vale of Pickering this weekend and met up with the extended family. It was only for a couple of nights but probably the first time we have properly set everything up including the all importing bunting and quaint lighting.

First night we just had a barbeque and a few gins which was all rather civilised and the next day it was out to Thornton Le Dale for a walk out into the countryside and to let the kids thrash around in a river for a while.

The van continues to delight and really getting used to living in it now and a second crack at the inflatable awning proved to be pretty easy.

Mrs Afterwards family are from Pickering so it’s a place we know well but it was our first trip to Thornton le Dale and as you can see from the pictures it is as quaint as hell…

Anyway I know you prefer the pictures so here you go…

My rather oblivious travel diary

Ever been to Portugal? You should go – the weather is lovely, it has great food and the people are frightfully friendly.

I thought perhaps I would have another crack at a bit of a travel post being in Portugal as I am.  I read a couple of other travel post and saw the mix pf photos and descriptions of places and restaurants and so on and figured yeah give it a go.

I then realised the slight flaw in my plan.  I don’t actually really know where I am. Okay so I am in Portugal, I know where that is.  It’s near Spain.  And I know that I am in the Algarve, because my wife told me and best I can muster on that is that it is at the bottom.  That aside I don’t have a bloody clue.  I think the place has the word “Agua” in and there is a beach nearby but that is hardly a help.

We did go out for a walk down to the beach earlier today and spent the morning there and it was pleasant enough I guess.  It’s kind of out of season so it’s rather quiet but still warm enough during the day.  I still have no idea where I actually was though, like on a map.

Wherever it is I am I have nothing but good things to say about it.  The people are lovely, great weather, good food.  I’d recommend you go yourself but that would mean me knowing where I am.

I know I should look it up but what’s the point now that I am already here, and besides all the cocktails are free so I don’t actually care that much.  I will probably just sit around the pool for a few days and then get back on a plane and go home looking all tanned, somewhat fatter and feeling quite relaxed.  People will ask how it was and I will make something up that makes me seem well travelled.

BON VOYAGE!

 

 

 

 

 

A day out in the lakes

The 35 Minute ride across the lake provides some rather lovely views of unspoiled coastlines and magnificent houses which you will never be able to afford…

I have only once ever before tried my hand at sharing something one might class at travel, which you can read here.  it is not my strong point, so in the interest of self improvement here’s a little something else covering a recent trip with the family to the lakes.

Departing Lakeside on a grey yet pleasant day in the English Lake District we boarded the Tern, built in 1891, and headed out across Lake Windermere for the town of Bowness where we hoped to take in the World of Beatrix Potter exhibit and feed some ducks maybe.

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The children were quick to confirm that the Tern does not in fact have on board WiFi and that in the middle of the lakes there is  little or no 4G connection which is apparently ridiculous, stupid and completely backwards and likely to ruin your a previously rather pleasant morning.

 

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The 35 Minute ride across the lake provides some rather lovely views of unspoiled coastlines and magnificent houses which you will never be able to afford and that may leave you feeling just a little dissatisfied with your lot in life.  On the upside, the boat had clean toilets and a bar, which was nice.

 

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The view from the stern of the boat offered fantastic views across the tranquil waters and also kept us away from the family who seemed set on allowing their screaming child to spoil said tranquillity with his monstrous howling inside the covered decks.

 

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Historical and picturesque Bowness greets it’s visitors with a typically English understatedness and an array of row boats lined up which you can apparently rent but that most folk just take photos of because they have their good walking shoes on and don’t want to get wet.

 

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A short walk through Bowness will bring you to the rather lovely Beatrix Potter attraction where you can enjoy an interactive 40 minutes with the wonderful characters of her books whilst liberal hippy looking types ram into the back of your legs with their prams and children named Sebastian and Bella run wild whilst their floppy haired father sips on his Starbucks and celebrates his children’s uniqueness.

 

 

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What better way to pass time waiting for the boat back than a quick tootle on the land train.  This was made extra special by the chap who seemed more content on playing candy crush and wishing for a different life that preventing his kids from hanging out of the carriage windows.

 

Throw in a packed lunch and a spot of shopping and It was back on the boat headed back to Lakeland for a quite magnificent afternoon tea.  With magnificent waters edge views, sumptuous clotted cream and damson jam and the lightest of scones it was a quite perfect end to the day.  It was also perfectly overpriced, just enough to keep the riff-raff out.

A perfect end to a lovely day.

 

here’s a few more photos if you’re still reading 🙂

 

 

 

 

Happy Yorkshire Day!

A place of never ending happiness where you can always see the sun…

I don’t really write about stuff like this.  I’m no travel blogger, I’m not very good at photography but I am a proud Yorkshireman.

I will not though make this about Yorkshire pudding, flat caps or whippets.  Indeed, I will also avoid all and any references to Geoffrey Boycott, Sean Bean or the Yorkshire ripper.

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Instead I will simply share a few photographs of the Piece Hall in Halifax which reopened this morning after 3 years or so or renovations.

As you can see from the photo below, it has a really big door which is ideal for ingress and exit.  Useful.

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Above you can see smiling Yorkshire people who I can assure you will do their best not to tell you why Yorkshire is better that wherever you are from.

 

Dating from 1779, when it was built as a Cloth Hall for the trading of ‘pieces’ of cloth (a 30 yard length of woven woollen fabric produced on a handloom),

The Piece Hall was the most Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah  – who cares really…It is just pretty cool and a great place to waste a few hours.

 

Below you can see some of the many places to sit, useful if you are tired from standing or walking, or just like sitting.

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As glorious as it is mostly I just like to go there and have an ice cream with the kids and watch people go by.  More restaurants, cafe’s and bars have been added now so even more reason for me to visit.

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In the photograph above you can see people doing stuff.  As people do.  I think that man is looking for a toilet, of which the Piece Hall has many.

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The piece hall has fabulous accessibility, with ramps as far as they eye can see and loads of lifts.  Perfect for people with mobility challenges as well as lazy folk who do not like taking the stairs, of which the Piece Hall also has many.

So if you’re in the Yorkshire area, and looking for something a bit different then it certainly is well worth a look, even if only to have tea and cake or perhaps some lunch or to get hammered in the gin bar and tell your wife what you really think of her mother.

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See why I stick to fiction.

If you found that dull but prefer to read about things I would surely never eat then take a look here.

Michael