Get well soon hear you contracted syph
.
and its pungent and rancid don’t sniff
.
cos it’s looking quite green
.
get antibacs and some cream
.
stay downwind cos god you sure whiff
.
Limericky icky get well soon
Get well soon you mucky bugger
Tag: limerick
Tuesday limerick goodness.
It is indeed a slippery road..
Once a chap with a nasty sore back
took some weed for pain which lead to crack
now sells ass for a high
pay, he’ll milk you quite dry
for a tenner he’ll empty your sack
Saturday limerick. Explicit.
Sweary indeed….
A tourette’s suffering fine voiced young fellow
.
joined a group and sang sweet acapello
.
Until he stood at the front.
shouted “Tit, shit, fuck, cunt”
.
in a rather deep baritone bellow.
.
Yup, another poo limerick…
a load of old poo
A faecal historian from Goole.
.
Fascinated by fine bygone stool.
.
How he took such delight.
.
In a large corpalit
.
And if corn filled it made him quite drool
Look, a Ye-Olde Limerick…
Hear ye, hear ye…
A wench with a bosom a plenty.
Bedroom skills quite a hit with the gentry
.
For a couple of shilling
.
She’s both ready and willing
Come around her back alley for entry
Hey you. Got another bestiality limerick for you ‘n your mum
Nasty
Lonely farmer, long nights, all alone
.
watched hot animal vids on his phone
.
he succumbed to desire
.
as lambs set him afire
.
and the squealing pigs so made him moan
.
Yeah screw you too haiku!
Ruining diminutive Japanese poetry one haiku at a time
From lips do words spill
That oft hearts true needs do hide
Revealed over time
Limerick
It’s something I guess…
A poetry lover called Jake
For a muse how his body did ache
To inspire to great things
Let his words soar on wings
And perhaps a fine bottom to shake
A front bum limerick.
Self praise is no praise…
Once a lass called Heidi from Mauritius
She declared, “My vagina’s delicious!
Oh my vulva and labia
Are so packed full of flavour
And my clit is quite truly nutritious!”
A limerick. Meh…
oink oink
Pig farming couple found love, quite devine
Loved each other, and life was sublime
But it soured for she
Loved the pigs more than he
Caught her breastfeeding one of the swine
Did a shit, weighing neatly 4 pounds
A Limerick.
ouchy
Boozy nudist, young fellow called Brian
To get an all over tan he was tryin’
Had a few coke n rum
Fell asleep in the sun
Woke up screaming with cock n balls fryin’
A Limerick
All hail the queen of dragons!
A sex toy purveyor called Brenda
.
Bought a dildo, a thick double-ender
.
With each end like a dragon
.
How she could not stop braggin’
.
Left her unable to walk and quite tender
Another Limerick. On a Sunday. It is Sunday right?
A quickie for you…
Lonely lad, alone and isolated.
.
Spent his days watching porn, masturbated
.
Till his bits were quite raw
.
And his arms were real sore
.
And his balls were all red and inflated.
A get well soon limerick
ouchy!
Heard you had quite a tiff with your Zip
.
And the skin on your knob it did rip
.
And you screamed like a child
.
And your eyes they bulged wild
.
Left a rather deep gouge in the tip
.
A Limerick about a bodybuilder’s man bits.
on closer inspection….
Body builder on steroids, quite fit
.
The effect on his manhood quite shit
.
And it got really bad
.
Could not tell which he had .
A small dick or a really big clit?
A Limerick maybe?
Room for a small one?
A quite ravenous chap from Burundi
Gorged on pastries most weekdays bar Monday
when he’d feast on pork chops
steaks, pies chips and roll-mops
and leftovers he’d kept from last Sunday
4-Some of Saturday night limericks
A bank robber from Toremelinos
stole to get cash for his penis
to enlarge was his wish
but the products are pish
now he’s locked up in jail with men, heinous
‘My Friend’ watches far too much telly
middle aged, double chins and round belly
legs and arms got quite thick
now he can’t see his dick
and his man boobs they jiggle like jelly
A husband one day proclaimed dead
seems his wife shot him right through the head
on his phone saw a text
“Banged your sister, you’re next!”
really made quite a mess of the bed
Farmers wife with a craving for men
got caught cheating again and again
hub quite angry threw fits
then he chopped her to bits
fed her parts to the pigs in his pen
Wednesday Lunchtime Limerick perhaps?
One about bums
A proctologist, fellow called Rick
Around rectums would feel rather sick
Her throw up at the thought
Of buttholes, loose or taut
And filled colons they gave him the ick
Monday mid day limerick
Treat yourself, it’s Monday
Once a good Christian fellow called Brad
Before marriage, no sex, said “it’s bad”
But his girl was quite keen
To do sex acts obscene
Had her sphincter torn up by his dad
A limerick because I had time for little else.
Once a thirsty young lady called Chrissy
Loved her sodas, so fruity and fizzy
Guzzled daily and nightly
Woke up, bed most unsightly
Soaking wet, smelled quite rank, made her pissy
Mmm Bacon…limerick time
If only pork wasnt so yummy
A young Muslim was really quite shaken
When he realised he rather loved bacon
He tried to be devout
But he rather loved snout
Judgement day he is sure to be shakin’
Wednesday, so that must mean a limerick.
Once a couple in search of some spice
thought that swinging might maybe be nice
turns out wasn’t for him
though his wife, with a grin
partakes every weekend, sometimes twice.
A limerick about something
One about having your hands cut off by the taliban.
Chap from Mosul played drums in a band
so the Taliban cut off each hand
But it all worked out fine
Said his wife, “it’s divine
Cos for scratching my back your hook’s grand”
Limerick
Let this be a warning to all of you who wash your bits in open water…
A wild camping lover called Jake
Love to wash his balls down at the lake
But a creature it slid
up his penis and hid
Ate his nuts from inside, no mistake
Maybe one more, eh?
There once was a doctor from Goole
Specialised in the gastric, no fool
Made a fortune in bums
Bowels, Intestines and tums
And continuing study of stool
Afterwards 