A limerick because why not!
I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?
A fellow rotund, barrel chested
Would snore loudly in bed when he rested
‘till his wife cracked and screamed
Bashed his head as he dreamed
She slept soundly in jail when arrested
Let’s keep it simple shall we.
Ronovan provides the words. Then a haiku follows
Red light lit, his tart
sweet and sultry,warm he glows
She who gave him crabs
Oh blessed relief
Did I mention I like to colour? No? Oh I do. I particularly like to colour sweary things. I try to stay in the lines but I’m not really one for being told what to do. Here’s one I did earlier. I am also rather excited about a Judge Dredd one I bought recently which I will show you at some point.
It’s rather therapeutic you know and certainly worth exploring. Here’s one I did earlier 🙂
Do you dabble at all?
Just a thing about a thing and some other things which ends badly…
Another month of M’s writing prompts lies ahead. I did them all in December but was less successful in January. Let’s see how we do in February shall we.
Theres a place made for folk of a kind
Who are carefree and pleasant you’ll find
But they don’t like to bath
And are quite fond of hash
And all substance to alter the mind
But…
All is not quite as it may appear
and possessed both of rage and of fear
their minds twisted and torn
by a pathogen born
in the weed and their lovely brewed beer
So…
Late at night when they ought to be humping
through their veins a dark need is fast pumping
and their hearts turned quite black
and they frenzied attack
driven wild on their neighbours they’re jumping
then…
and they rip and they tear quite asunder
and they feast on red flesh neath the thunder
and the lightning above
for they now only love
to devour, feast and bath in death’s wonder
now…
So the moral it seems is beware
if you travel there then just take care
Hippie harbour you’ll see
here the love isn’t free
there’s a cost you might pay, should you dare
Today a haiku. True story.
Another month of M’s writing prompts lies ahead. I did them all in December but was less successful in January. Let’s see how we do in February shall we.
The flush of teen love
Holding hands for the first time
trouser explosion
I feel the normal starting to slip…
This week I am having a crack at not being weird and odd when it comes to my itsy bitsy japanese poems.
Early signs of spring
Pasty legs and squinting eyes
Greet insipid sun
Incy wincy oh my bloody hell!
Oh I hear that your feeling unwell
You got bit and it started to swell
Lets hope it’s not a spider
That then laid eggs inside ya
Cos they’ll burst out, that’s scary as hell
So bad I bet you cannot even read it . You’ll see…
Another month of M’s writing prompts lies ahead. I did them all in December but was less successful in January. Let’s see how we do in February shall we.
He does not want what he wants to not want
though he cannot agree more or less
but he did not not know what it was that was said
Though sometimes he was wont to forget
Now he did not not never know or think not at all
And he’d never ever never do what was said
and he knew not what he did not ever not ask
that’s as much as he knew now she’s dead
Another normal haiku. hmmm. Ill do maybe once more tomorrow then that is it
This week I am having a crack at not being weird and odd when it comes to my itsy bitsy japanese poems.
Golden river boats
Float through crystal clear waters
Signal summers end
Ooh what a lovely baguette you have sir
There once was a baker called Brad
Who was fancied by his girlfriend’s dad
The thought of his baguette
Brought him out in a sweat
And his cheese topped bread rolls drove him mad
Just a quick something
Brian looked into his wife’s eyes and sighed.
“I’m so sorry it ended like this” he said “I wanted it to work but I realise we want different things.”
Carla said nothing, staring back expressionless.
“I know” Brian continued. “I know it’s my fault I just…”
Brian paused, he had hoped for something. Anything.
“Fine, just fine” he said picking up his shovel and tipping soil over Carla’s already stiffening body. “Silent treatment it is…”
A bit like another I did to be honest…
Another month of M’s writing prompts lies ahead. I did them all in December but was less successful in January. Let’s see how we do in February shall we.
Ravenous appetite
Sweaty brow and trousers tight
No control, stalks the night
In search of victims new
Throbbing urge rancid needs
Red raw mouth darkness leads
On shimmer bright his hunger feeds
His bile and hate and spew
Neath the stars, cold inky black
He surrenders, can’t turn back
Hear flesh tear and feel bones crack
And he’s refreshed anew
More dull limericks
This week I am having a crack at not being weird and odd when it comes to my itsy bitsy japanese poems.
Verdant green flashes
winter Slowly retreating
Life embryonic
It’s been a while…
I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?
POTUS fond of cavorting in pee
Banged a porn star, big fan of the V
Then he paid her a sum
Not to speak and keep shtum
That’s the norm in the land of the free
NRA calls for McDOnalds to lead national fight against obesity
Today, the NRA’s Wayne Lapierre hit back at critics who he feels are using the death of countless Americans to guns to deprive him of his second amendment rights to keep a huge stash of assault rifles in the boot of his car just in case things ‘kick off’ next time he goes to Walmart.
Speaking to a crowd of conservative Americans he opened with a short prayer where he asked Jesus to “bless this gathering of real Americans, not the ones that look like they need a good wash” and also beseeches his Lord and Saviour to pour out his mercies on the new AR15 model due out next year because it is “Seriously bad ass and will make America both safer and greater. So safe. So great”
Lapierre, a previously long standing advocate of “thoughts and prayers” in the fight against school massacres, took a standing ovation when he made an impassioned and compelling case for the use of guns to prevent the use of guns.
“Murder in schools?” he insisted, “let’s arm teachers. Murder at Disneyland? No problem, let’s hook up Mickey with some serious stopping power to stop those dirty lefties.”
In a rousing finale he held a baby in his left arm and in his right hand a bone handled desert eagle, and with an American flag lowered behind him and the star spangled banner playing he slowly licked the barrel and proclaimed “Tastes like freedom baby!”
Some deep rambling stuff
My memories will fade one day
my eyes will shine less bright
and into dark I’ll surely slip
but you’ll remain my light
The best of me I hope I gave
My smile, my laugh my frown
from good and bad, your path I shaped
you’res the thing’s I’ve handed down
Your hand I help, your head I kissed
scraped knee and fever soothed
beside your bed all night I sat
a heart once hard so moved
And seasons pass, I watch and smile
you clamber, fight and strive
too quick to run before you walk
eyes bright and so alive
Each year that passes I embrace
such change and watch you grow
my hand let go you walk alone
and deep inside I know
Too soon my time will surely pass
alone you’ll be but find
your joy and hope and always feel
the love we leave behind
Another haiku a bit like the adults write
This week I am having a crack at not being weird and odd when it comes to my itsy bitsy japanese poems.
Stubbon she lingers
her wary welcome outstayed
winter, guest be gone
A limerick about Andy’s rather dirty wife
I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?
Once in Rhyll lived a plumber called Andy
had a wife who when drunk got quite randy
she was game, full of wine
and on beer quite devine
but my god what a tramp when on brandy
Just words thrown together willy nilly
Another month of M’s writing prompts lies ahead. I did them all in December but was less successful in January. Let’s see how we do in February shall we.
Chocolates, sweet and silky on her lips
Reclined and pampered her every whim his wish
Tempted, dark and intense he feeds her desires
Lusting and hungry, deadly and delicious each and every dish
And time after time, her palette he teases
Skilled and cunning he caters, her appetites he knows
so with fake smiles and malice each mouthful he ensnares
Curves and comely come here hips slowly grow
Slowly time passes, senses dulled and sugar seeped she lies
Gorged and pink and perfectly sickly sweet
He draws the blinds, unsheathes cold steel
And dines, his long prepared and gorgeous bridal pickled treat
An attempt at a proper haiku
This week I am having a crack at not being weird and odd when it comes to my itsy bitsy japanese poems.
Chilled bones slowly creak
Frosty fingers grasp my throat
winters icy grip
Just a little silliness in this sea of seriousness
I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?
Friend of mine met a woman called Wendy
who he claimed was incredibly bendy
to applause, whoops and cheers
legs tucked behind her ears
Oh my god! The photos he once sent me
Just words thrown together willy nilly
Another month of M’s writing prompts lies ahead. I did them all in December but was less successful in January. Let’s see how we do in February shall we. This was an odd piece for me, a kind of stream on consciousness. I was sat on a really boring conference call about BIG DATA and just started typing words and this is what came out. It is not really anything to me and has little meaning and is really just a series of ideas and images thrown together like a big bowl of wordy vomit.
She rages, face twisted screaming into the wind
Her words drowned out by the crashing shore
Soaked through with the spray of the ocean’s wrath
Fists clenched her heart black like the swirling skies above
She curses his name and dies once more at the memories
Eyes wide, nostrils flared bloody teeth flashed in defiance to the raging storm
As winds rip and tear, hands raised to the heavens she bellows, gut spilling over
Her tears mixed with the dark waters swirling around her feet
Her mouth filled with vile truths and swallowed words long unspoken
And with her last utterance, winds drop and bow to her rage
Tides calm and retreat, subdued and obedient
She dies a final time and in golden robes rests in light
Let’s keep it simple shall we.
Ronovan provides the words. Then a haiku follows
German Aunt insists
“Keep down ze noise and zen you
shall have ze bratwuurst”
I thought perhaps I would turn my hand to a spot of erotic fiction…
Another month of M’s writing prompts lies ahead. I did them all in December but was less successful in January. Let’s see how we do in February shall we.
Love’s passions red
Thoughts in his head
Lies in death’s bed
And scheme
Unknown, she sleeps
through curtains peeps
and inslide creeps
She’ll scream
Calls stifled still
Exerts his will
And drinks his fill
She’ll dream
And drifts to black
No turning back
Now life she’ll lack
His queen
Is it weird to admit that I have something of a plan in mind should there be a zombie apocalypse?
I will admit that for a long time I have been of the mind that the world would certainly benefit from a zombie outbreak outbreak. Maybe it isn’t a full on extinction event but just something to focus people a little and perhaps thin the population. In the past we had wars that would do that but these days war has turned into an almost corporate event and just doesn’t do the job it once did. There was a time when you could also rely on pestilence but again, we seem to mostly have that under control at the moment and as a result (whether directly or not I am yet to decide) It now takes me at least 20 minutes to get to work. There are so many vehicles on the road these days driving in the wrong lane or just generally being annoying that I am pretty sure that with an even low level event that could well be cut to 15 with the resulting thinning of the population.
If there was to be an outbreak I feel pretty good about my chances, and whilst I am not one for squirrelling away supplies or constructing a bolthole in the garden, I do have a plan that I have been putting together over the years. I know where I would get supplies, and I am confident that I could secure the house and surrounding area to keep anything but the most determined brain hungry creature at bay. I have a destination out of town that I know for certain would be a pretty great place to ride out the apocalypse and should I for any reason not be able to get out of the street I know which of the neighbours I need to deal with and in what order to ensure that precious resources aren’t wasted.
And just to be clear, the bloke at number 6 who insists on parking badly…top of my list in case we run particularly low on food.
Anyway,there is more but I am not giving it away. Make your own plan!
Happy Monday
Afterwards 