NRA calls for McDOnalds to lead national fight against obesity
Today, the NRA’s Wayne Lapierre hit back at critics who he feels are using the death of countless Americans to guns to deprive him of his second amendment rights to keep a huge stash of assault rifles in the boot of his car just in case things ‘kick off’ next time he goes to Walmart.
Speaking to a crowd of conservative Americans he opened with a short prayer where he asked Jesus to “bless this gathering of real Americans, not the ones that look like they need a good wash” and also beseeches his Lord and Saviour to pour out his mercies on the new AR15 model due out next year because it is “Seriously bad ass and will make America both safer and greater. So safe. So great”
Lapierre, a previously long standing advocate of “thoughts and prayers” in the fight against school massacres, took a standing ovation when he made an impassioned and compelling case for the use of guns to prevent the use of guns.
“Murder in schools?” he insisted, “let’s arm teachers. Murder at Disneyland? No problem, let’s hook up Mickey with some serious stopping power to stop those dirty lefties.”
In a rousing finale he held a baby in his left arm and in his right hand a bone handled desert eagle, and with an American flag lowered behind him and the star spangled banner playing he slowly licked the barrel and proclaimed “Tastes like freedom baby!”
A short piece about stupid people…
“We need to back love” Colin insisted, “we need to cross over then carry on on the other side of the road.”
“Jesus Colin” Carole replied tensely, “it’s like 20 metres, it will be fine – I am not going all the way back to the crossing back there!” she insisted, pointing back down the street. “I’m not going to go all the way back and around for 20 metres!”
” We need to be careful” Colin insisted meekly, “heavens knows why they’ve out that sign up. It could be dangerous honey.”
“It will be fine!” she insisted forcefully “I can’t see anyone working at all. Typical really, I bet they’re all drinking coffee for the umpteenth time today!” Carole had little time for most people, but layabouts – well they were a real pet hate.
Carole grabbed Colin’s arm forcefully “good god man, come on” she snapped. “My feet are killing and I want to get home” she insisted, dragging him after her.
He was just about to insist that this was a rather foolish course of action when he was interrupted by Carole’s terrified scream and a gruff voice shouting “LOOK OUT BELOW!”
The very last thing that Colin would see would be the look on Carole’s face, one he had seen many times before. it was the one that insisted that this was all his fault.
Photo courtesy of J Hardy Carroll
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