NRA says “guns best way to fight guns”

NRA calls for McDOnalds to lead national fight against obesity

Today, the NRA’s Wayne Lapierre hit back at critics who he feels are using the death of countless Americans to guns to deprive him of his second amendment rights to keep a huge stash of assault rifles in the boot of his car just in case things ‘kick off’ next time he goes to Walmart.

Speaking to a crowd of conservative Americans he opened with a short prayer where he asked Jesus to “bless this gathering of real Americans, not the ones that look like they need a good wash” and also beseeches his Lord and Saviour to pour out his mercies on the new AR15 model due out next year because it is “Seriously bad ass and will make America both safer and greater.  So safe.  So great”

Lapierre, a previously long standing advocate of “thoughts and prayers” in the fight against school massacres, took a standing ovation when he made an impassioned and  compelling case for the use of guns to prevent the use of guns.

“Murder in schools?” he insisted, “let’s arm teachers.  Murder at Disneyland?  No problem, let’s hook up Mickey with some serious stopping power to stop those dirty lefties.”

In a rousing finale he held a baby in his left arm and in his right hand a bone handled desert eagle, and with an American flag lowered behind him and the star spangled banner playing he slowly licked the barrel and proclaimed “Tastes like freedom baby!”


I’m going dark

Aah the weekend.

I think I am going to take a day or two off.  I will probably be back Sunday night but it’s been a long week, I’ve hardly been at my best with this stupid cold and I am finding the world somewhat distracting in general and American politics more specifically.

I am going to clear out my twitter because I am just sick to the back teeth of Donald Trump, the GOP and the general stench – and instead I shall fill it with things that bring me joy and inspiration.  In addition there will be more Science and knowledge and art and films and comics and pictures of monkeys.

I have pretty much hit American politics fatigue after spending a large part of the week reading far too much about what is going on.  It’s odd that I have found it all so fascinating as I dont really care that much about what is going on in the UK despite all our shenanigans.  I guess I always like to think that we are just wholly incompetent and bumbling fools whereas your lot just seem rotten to the core and it’s all rather sad.  I think it is actually affecting my my desire to write and create and enjoy things.

Instead I am going to find a load of uplifting and positive American experiences I think.  I will let you know how I get on.  Oh and there’s the Americans amongst you readers of course, I like you lot.

So fingers crossed you’ll have sorted him out by the time I get back.


Daily Prompt – Confess

In a not too distant future perhaps…

Gemma lay her head on James’ chest and he smiled.  Two months they’d been together now and James still couldn’t believe how lucky he was.  The world had changed a lot in the last decade and to find someone as amazing as her really was something special.

She pressed herself into him sighing and he placed a kiss on the top of her head.

“You’re amazing” he said and closed his eyes.  “There’s something I need to tell you though“he continued.

He felt her tense slightly.  “Okay” she said slowly.  She could hear his heart racing furiously in his chest.

“It’s about my dad” he said, “there’s a reason you’ve never met him.”

“Uh-huh” she said listening “you said he left in 2020, when the wall went up and the Emperor was crowned.”

James paused.

“It wasn’t just his politics” he continued, eyes still closed.

“What was it?” Gemma asked.  “It’s okay babe, you can trust me.”

James breathed deep.

“My dad was one quarter African American.  That makes me one sixteenth.”

Gemma said nothing and time seemed to stand still.

“Babe?” he said opening his eyes.

“Shit James” she said sitting upright.

“What?” he asked, face now ashen.  “What is it…”

She turned slowly to look at him, tears streaming down her face.

“I’m MAGA James.  I have to report this.”

Vermicious knids

Thoughts on things which I am completely unqualified to comment upon.

Let’s do another month of M’s prompts shall we…this one is in response to the Weaving Words prompt.

I was never a political creature you know and, whilst this may surprise you, I am still not.  Yes I will admit to being somewhat obsessed with writing about the Donald but that is simply because I find him a quite repulsive creature and worthy of derision and mockery because of who he is and the quite terrible things I believe him to have done.

Ever since the ascendancy of his star I have found myself more and more interested in the politics of America and if I am not careful I shall soon find that I make a liar of myself when it comes to whether I am, in fact, politically inclined.

The thing is though, I am English,  so it matters very little where my persuasions lie.  Curiously I find  to myself far less inclined to care one jot about our very own Brexit shit storm and instead find myself compelled to understand more about just what the devil is going on across the pond.

Anyway, I have researched the basis of the political parties, delved into their history and attempted to understand as much as I can about them whilst reading as much as I could about just what is going on.  I am not an over complex sort though, and find myself already making some very basic assumptions about American politics, politicians and sometimes it’s people based on very little information and the behaviour of the people who represent the parties.

It remains a work in progress, and whilst I am quite certain that I would be blue and not red where it a choice I needed to make there is something else of which I am more and more certain the more I learn.  The GOP are such vicious beastly and quite ferocious creatures by all accounts that even they would make the vermicious knid seem tame by comparison.  I am not sure about all of it’s members obviously, but those in positions of power that I have been looking at have left me rather shocked.

I will keep working on it, and happy to have my mind changed but I think it will be quite some stretch given what I have seen. This is not to say the other lot are a whole lot better, I am sure they are equally abhorrent if you look closely enough.

Anyway, I know I am not at all qualified to comment on such things and it is rather ignorant of me to do so but I will nonetheless.  Now I will shut up.

Goodnight x and get back to writing that limerick about the chap who likes his bottom fiddling with.


P.S. It’s funny you know, when I sat down I honesty intended to write a poem about a boy who fought the knids.  Oh well…