You’d think I would have given up by now wouldn’t you…
Once this bloke I know works in a kitchen
Sausage got his aroused, he was itching
For a night of rough sex
But by morn was most vexed
As his anus was torn and needs stitching.
Shall we?
Though chasms divide
Hearts long, sweet caress do crave
Such needs unfulfilled
More than 600 limericks and first time I have used ‘front bum’.
Yeah I know, surprised me too.
Woman, goodstanding of the judiciary
had a front bum that smelled like a fishery
She would hand down decrees,
Judgements, consider pleas
But if upwind then that was true misery.
Friday baby yeah!
Scant inhibitions
Do not neglect your hygiene
And scotch guard your couch
Damn you to hell
History dictates
No one can ever enjoy
A small black moustache
Hygiene. It matters.
Angles and filters
Perfect image does portray
Time the truth reveals
Better than being punched in the man boobs I suppose…
She with wonky boobs
and he with his wonky eyes,
true beauty beholds.
A Monday quickie for you
Broadband connected
God’s child once had no wifi
innocence stolen
Hey look leah I found my pen!
asbestos taste buds
faal, hot as satan’s anus
cooling yoghurt dip
Still not sure about these. Harder than they seem I tell ya!
Bright days end furnace
Crimson red and burnished gold
Quenched ‘neath horizon
Still not sure about these. Harder than they seem I tell ya!
silvery mistress
cold caress then turns away
always to return
god I need to work on these…
Just a normal haiku. Makes me feel a little dirty to be honest with you.
Rains turn autmn rust
and withering falll from bough
under foot to die
Oh I really don’t know about that. I even had to google ‘bough’. I mean I had to sit and consider the beauty of nature, how it made me feel, what emotions it evokes. That’s a lot of effort.
Far easier just rhyming Cock, sock and rock for a dirty limerick I reckon.
And screw you Monday too!
Sweet hyperbole
In pursuit of fair romance
oft on deaf ears falls
Hygiene. It matters.
Close and intimate
personal care neglected
Sweet ardour dampened
It’s Saturday here already.
Time brings forgiveness
and oft makes right hearts once wronged
forgiveness once more
Happy Monday everyone!
Two lives become one
familiar, boundries blur
Hearts drifting apart
So lovely…
How do I love thee
Perfect in every way
Sweet where others foul
The heart wants what the heart wants
Darkest desires
drive dubious decisions
lifetime of regret
Ignored sage advice
Never gamble on a fart
Flatulent folly
It’s Monday here already…
Emotions intense
Ebb and flow like oceans deep
Unpredictable
I’m gonna screw you haiku your brains out. Sorry, just slipped out…
Such hyperbole
Overestimates prowess
A god amongst men
I’m 83 don’t you know
With words does ensnare
and all resistance removes
silver tongued devil
I’m 83 don’t you know
Lines mark loves years past
Love sees not times ravages
Hearts love never less
A tale of fear and things that go bump bump bump in the night
Colleen’s Tanka Tuesday
This week the challenge was to use synonyms for MYSTERY and ATTRACT. I used
Erectile issues
manhood diminished. Scared and
grave, consumes Blue pills
Now can’t sleep on his stomach
Wife hangs her towels on it
Colleen’s 2019 Weekly #Tanka Tuesday #Poetry Challenge No. 119 “Mystery & Attract,” #SynonymsOnly
I promise I wont do more of these…
Gym kit malfunction
who’d ever have imagined
hidden in small shorts
I know I am a grown man and that I should know better. I know I can produce things of a more edifying nature. I know should be a better example to my children and generally a better human being but alas I am not.
Look what dad made boys! Don’t tell mum!
Afterwards 