Funny – Afterwards

Limerick…B is for…

Another day, another limerick

Foot fetish butcher got wild at the sight

Of lambs feet, made his trousers go tight

Nothing got him as hot as

A pair of pigs trotters

And cloved hooves left him sleepless at night

Limerick…filthy

Dirty…

Lust filed chap bought a doll on the net

So lifelike, it would even get wet

With its well modelled bits

Butt hole, front bum and tits

He declared, “It’s the best you can get!”

Late Night Limerick – Get well soon

You might want to get it looked at

Oh poor lamb heard you’ve got gonorrhoea

And the symptoms they seem quite severe

Now it burns when you piss

You’d not bargained on this

When you paid for that hooker, oh dear

Tuesday limerick goodness.

It is indeed a slippery road..

Once a chap with a nasty sore back

took some weed for pain which lead to crack

now sells ass for a high

pay, he’ll milk you quite dry

for a tenner he’ll empty your sack

4-Some of Saturday night limericks

A bank robber from Toremelinos

stole to get cash for his penis

to enlarge was his wish

but the products are pish

now he’s locked up in jail with men, heinous

‘My Friend’ watches far too much telly

middle aged, double chins and round belly

legs and arms got quite thick

now he can’t see his dick

and his man boobs they jiggle like jelly

A husband one day proclaimed dead

seems his wife shot him right through the head

on his phone saw a text

“Banged your sister, you’re next!”

really made quite a mess of the bed

Farmers wife with a craving for men

got caught cheating again and again

hub quite angry threw fits

then he chopped her to bits

fed her parts to the pigs in his pen

Tuesday Lunchtime Limerick

Better wipe it down after use

Gym for sex addicts, rather discreet

Knew the way to get sluts to compete

had the things that they like

Custom exercise bike

With a dildo instead of a seat

Mmm Bacon…limerick time

If only pork wasnt so yummy

A young Muslim was really quite shaken

When he realised he rather loved bacon

He tried to be devout

But he rather loved snout

Judgement day he is sure to be shakin’

Wednesday, so that must mean a limerick.

Once a couple in search of some spice

thought that swinging might maybe be nice

turns out wasn’t for him

though his wife, with a grin

partakes every weekend, sometimes twice.

A limerick about something

One about having your hands cut off by the taliban.

Chap from Mosul played drums in a band
so the Taliban cut off each hand
But it all worked out fine
Said his wife, “it’s divine
Cos for scratching my back your hook’s grand”

Maybe one more, eh?

There once was a doctor from Goole
Specialised in the gastric, no fool
Made a fortune in bums
Bowels, Intestines and tums
And continuing study of stool

Dont act surprised, limerick time.

It’s all you get until the end of June. Just limericks. Because why not.

A butcher from Leeds who loved pies
Cant resist them, though trust me tries
Now his belly’s quite round
and his man boobs profound
and you should see the size of his thighs

Limerick o’clock!

Careful you dont catch a cold when frolicking…

A quite lovely temptress from Dover
loved to frolic and roll in the clover
She would lie in the dew
with a fellow or two
caught a chill, went without a pullover

Limerick. Oh Don’t act surprised.

Explosive stuff

Friend of mine met this lass, not realising

That her bum was quite uncompromising

During candle lit sex

Massive fart, and then next

thing her sphincter’s on fire, unsurprising

A Limerick.

You do you, Brenda

A broad shouldered lady called Brenda
Big old hands, hairy arms, legs quite slender
Wispy beard and top lip
Quite full breast, curvy hip
Size 12 feet, up to her as to gender