Dribbles of delight – March Prompts 24/31

Not at all about ejaculation. Honest.

M’s writing prompts for March came with the following instructions:

“…set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts listed below. Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!”

Let us see what whimsical nonsense I can whip up in ten minutes…

You can see the prompts here.


 

There are times when a prompt will pop up ad I simply think to myself “No Michael, you know how this is going to turn out so just stop right there.”

I don’t have a particularly filthy mind, but I do like to say what I think.  I take a degree of pride in pushing boundaries, testing sensibilities and poking things that should not be poked.  I do however do my best to do so with a degree of humour and a modicum of taste.

I shall therefore leave this one be and just move along quietly because I do still have a certain amount of self control.

Just to be clear in case you were wondering though, it was going to be a toss up between a poem about a chap with an extreme case of premature ejaculation or a woman who discovers the joys of female ejaculation for the first time.

Problem was, for the latter at least, I would have needed to do some research and the wife and kids use my laptop quite regularly so I really did not fancy having to explain the content of my browser to either.

It’s a pity really because lush, rush and gush all rhyme quite wonderfully and you know I would have loved the opportunity to explain that “With shock and surprise, it flew into his eyes, and he screamed “help I think I’ve gone blind!”

But I won’t, because I am better than that…

Nonsensical Hodgepodge – March Prompts 23/31

Curtain twitchers beware

M’s writing prompts for March came with the following instructions:

“…set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts listed below. Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!”

Let us see what whimsical nonsense I can whip up in ten minutes…

You can see the prompts here.


Squirty McWhirty was really quite dirty

And Rodger her husband quite plain

He would dream of steam trains

They would fill up his brain

Whilst his wife quite love filth, kink and pain

 

Next door lived the Cooks she was obsessed with books

While her fella was quite into Cars

And they seemed quite at peace

The plain folk on the street

Though he also quite loved wearing bras

 

Down at house 22 there was Mr Rabu

Who’s wife disappeared last May

He said she was in Spain

But go check out the drain

You’ll find parts still not quite washed away

 

And they all quite suspect that there’s likely a sect

Who reside at the house near the park

Theres odd comings and goings

Nasty toings and froings

And oft candles and screams in the dark

 

Then there’s Darren and Paul who both work at the Mall

Vegans both, own a really nice home

But when push comes to shove

You know they’re so in love

Don’t like meat but they sure love the bone

 

A quite curious lot I assume that you’ve got

A good feel for the folk on this street

But don’t judge please be kind

We’re all different you’ll find

Smile and nod if you ever do meet

Sniffles and Snuffles – March Prompts 22/31

Vegetarians may object. The carnivores may not.

M’s writing prompts for March came with the following instructions:

“…set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts listed below. Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!”

Let us see what whimsical nonsense I can whip up in ten minutes…

You can see the prompts here.


Sniffles and snuffles

fat pigs that love truffles

And turnips and carrots and swedes

They’ll eat slops and scoff bread

Cabbage both green and red

And leftovers and all that you leave

 

They think wow what a life

With this farmer and wife

As they roll in the mud oh such bliss

Every day they grow fat

What is better that that

They insist what a great life is this

 

Then one day Truffles aint there

Snuffles, nose in the air

Does despair but’s distracted as hell

For aroma divine

Cooking flesh of the swine

Snuffles slavers oh my what a smell…

 

 

Fiddlesticks – March Prompts 21/31

Oh how very horrid.

M’s writing prompts for March came with the following instructions:

“…set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts listed below. Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!”

Let us see what whimsical nonsense I can whip up in ten minutes…

You can see the prompts here.


He dances round the subject

of just where he was last night

there is lipstick on his collar

and she hopes that he just might

this time tell her something honest

and perhaps he’ll see the light

but he says was with his mates so she replies

….

Fiddle sticks balderdash and a dose of nincompoop

Piles of twaddle loads of tosh and a massive load of bollocks

So much gubbins endless waffle and a steaming pile of nonsense

Pointless drivel stupid dribble and a total crock of shite

Ruby Red – March Prompts 20/31

Oh how very horrid.

M’s writing prompts for March came with the following instructions:

“…set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts listed below. Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!”

Let us see what whimsical nonsense I can whip up in ten minutes…

You can see the prompts here.


Ruby red she swirls and spins

And craves a life he cannot give

And laughter peaks and frantic dips

Entranced by eyes and heart and hips

 

Each day and night he toils and strains

To please her hunger as it grows

Voraciaous she devours it all

And never sated death does call

 

Worth more in the ground than with beating heart

with greed consumed she seeks to feast

And so she schemes and plots and plans

His life to take with blood soiled hands

 

And with widows sorrow she does weep

as slowly lowered into the ground

and ruby red heart swirls and leaps

all that was his now hers to keep

Antsy Pantsy – March Prompts 19/31

Oh how very horrid.

M’s writing prompts for March came with the following instructions:

“…set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts listed below. Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!”

Let us see what whimsical nonsense I can whip up in ten minutes…

You can see the prompts here.


They crawled up his leg and then into his bottom

And there they did live in his innards quite rotten

For long was he dead in a battle forgotten

And now he’d returned for revenge

 

With such ants in his pants and a six rats in his bowels

He would walk through the night and quite hungry he howls

And a brain full of worms in control of his vowels

He would mumble for b-b–b-brains

 

He would seek little kids quite delicious and plump

With an eye full of spiders and a rather bug lump

On his face from the wasps than would sure make you jump

When they flew from his mouth like a storm

 

And his fingers quite rotten and tongue chewed away

Beetles covered his flesh and he strode night and day

To find children to eat who’d  perhaps lost their way

and to hell drag their sweet little souls

Pink Poodles – March Prompts 18/31

Oh surely not…

M’s writing prompts for March came with the following instructions:

“…set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts listed below. Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!”

Let us see what I can do in ten minutes…

You can see the prompts here.


Old Artemis Bilge fine purveyor of poodles

Loved them so much that he ate them with noodles

With fresh veg and soy sauce he scoffed oodles and oodles

and for pudding fresh strawberries and cream

He would slow roast a leg and eat it as a starter

With pickles and fennel and mustard or tartar

And sometimes on a sandwich with cheese and tomato

Licked his fingers, such tastes quite supreme

Late at night to his fridge he would head tummy rumbling

And with platters of neck, thigh and flank he’d head stumbling

Back to bed where he’d gorge ‘till his tummy stopped grumbling

Then to sleep and of poodles to dream

Mounds of Mush – March Prompts 17/31

Hopefully just 4 rather gross lines…

M’s writing prompts for March came with the following instructions:

“…set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts listed below.  Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!”

Let us see what I can do in ten minutes…

You can see the prompts here.


Seething writhing piles of rancid filth

Maggots thrash hungrily and gorge on rotting flesh

Where once there was life now putrification reigns

And death’s foul breath belches and cackles

Guzzling Gary – March Prompts 16/31

My what a big appetite you have.

M’s writing prompts for March came with the following instructions:

“…set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts listed below.  Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!”

Let us see what I can do in ten minutes…

You can see the prompts here.


Guzzling Gary likes pies

And hes rather fond of meat

Oh he really loves chips

And thinks snake meat quite a treat

He will eat a bag of raddish

And he’ll quaff a pint of soup

See him down a foot of sausage

Eat spaghetti, straight or loop

He will neck a quart of ice cream

Followed by a glass of sherry

And eat burgers by the fistful

Followed by a pound of cherry

Then it’s onto quail and liver

Lightly braised and served with veg

And some monkey and a lizard

And a squirrel from a hedge

Then perhaps a baby llama

And a bisque made from some cats

And a stew made from some puppies

Or some dumplings stuffed with bats

Oh and see him eat a whale steak

And a platypus on rye

Lick the juices from a goldfish

And bake hamsters in a pie

And then turtle stuffed with budgies

then some parrots braised with figs

but for daft religious reason

theres no bacon, its from pigs

Jeffrey and Cho – FFFAW Challenge

Just a poem about a couple of blokes on a tandem.

Jeffrey and Cho

Had a bike that was slow

Though two people it sure could convey

They would ride through the town

Knees go up knees go down

Every month every week every day

 

“I am sure out of breath!”

Said a quite knackered Jeff

As he pedalled from A to point B

“As am I ” said young Cho

“Not sure why we’re so slow?”

Because no one can pedal like thee

 

Now Jeff pondered the fact

He was thin, Cho was fat

And each day they would cycle non stop

They would eat quite the same

So that wasn’t to blame

He thought as they rode from the shop

 

It was only by chance

That Jeff caught a quick glance

Of how Cho chose to coast as they slowed

“My god!” he exclaimed

It was cho who’s to blame

For their leisurely pace on the road

 

And from that moment on

The Tandem was gone

And Jeff’s bought a bike of his own

Now cho spends his days

on the xbox he plays

And my, how his belly has grown


Photo courtesy of Dorothy


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