Tag: Funny

M has served up another delicious portion of prompts for January over here.  This is in response to: “Milky white peaks charmed their senses..”

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Okay so I started this but stopped because mostly it just made me sound like a perverted 15 year old.

I figured milky white peaks would be a fantastic name for a cowgirl you know, red shequed shirt with a white frill across the front, snug jeans and perhaps some rhinestone boots.  She was going to have an ample busom and there would be campfires and horse wrangling and baked beans eaten from a frying pan and oh the tales they would tell of her milky white peaks.

Then I realised that I was just thinking about Dolly Parton and it just felt wrong to write about her millky white peaks because she is like 72 and that is older than my mum and I don’t really want to think of either in any sort of…well just no.

Not that I would think of my mum like that.  or Dolly.  Good god what is wrong with you people.  It was just an age thing…

Anyway…I’ll try again tomorrow and hopefully this whole sordid episode will be behind me by then and I will feel a little less uncomfortable with myself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

M has served up another delicious portion of prompts for January over here.  This is in response to: “Every inch of his body sensed her presence.”

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There’d been flirting and longing and deep admiration

he found her enticing, with much admiration

he craved her since day one and felt such frustration

her dark eyes, soft skin, sweet disposition

 

How he wondered if ever they might be united

a deep hunger he felt, he so often delighted

in sweet flights of fancy his passions ignited

to be with her his greatest ambition

 

‘Cross the room he did see her and loins burned with fire

watched her play with her hair felt consumed with desire

caught her eye, and she smiled and he melted entire

how he craved her, his secret admission

 

And quite sudeen she’s there and she smiles, says hello

introduces herself and it so seems to throw

him quite sideways, she laughs says she really must go

“let’s swop numbers’ her sweet proposition

 

One thing leads to another as things tend to do

text turns to call turns to date and then two

and he knows she’s the one he wants nobody new

time to kiss ‘spite nervous disposition

 

In the dark of the cinema quirms in his seat

every inch of his body felt presence most sweet

turns to face her she sees him her lips his then greet

warm soft bounty his sweet acquisition

 

Head and heart swell in her gorgeous embrace

and his body reacts and his pulse quickens pace

and then Sploosh he explodes quite all over the place

cannon-esque, with hot white ammunition

 

“Oh my word” she exclaims as his face twists in pleasure

and his trousers run thick with his thick baby treasure

and he splutters and coughs one last time for good measure

says he’s sorry with heartfelt contrition

 

So the moral it seems is to try take it easy

or your trouser will end up quite sticky and greasy

and all thoughts of sweet love be they ever so cheesy

will be spent with pre-mature condition