Heart and Window – TJ’s household Haiku

Today I bring you not 1, but 3 mediocre haiku in response to TJ’s challenge.

Today I bring you not 1, but 3 mediocre haiku!


Brave window cleaner

Poor man, his heart in his mouth

Curtains left open


Oh heart, fickle friend

open window, thieves sneak in

ransacked and ruined


still my beating heart

eyes the windows on the soul

How I  love cliches

Fancy something else?

Abandoned – Daily prompt

We unlikely few – An Armitage tangent

You absolute tanka!



Colleen’s Weekly #Poetry Challenge No. 50 #Haiku #Tanka #Haibun: VOICE & WATCH

My weekly assault of the gentle art of Japanese poetry

This week i shall attempt a haiku, a tanka and a haibun.


New shiny smart watch

controlling it with my voice 

Looking  like a knob 


Not a bad start.  Now lets tanka it up shall we

New shiny smart watch

controlling it with my voice

the king of the geeks!

You know you’re not on Star Trek

Wife looking quite embarrassed


True story…


How about we go full haibun.  Well as best as I can muster.  Still working on this element.  Poem, Prose, Poem for this one.

New shiny smart watch

controlling it with his voice

the king of the geeks!

You know you’re not on Star Trek

Wife looking quite embarrassed


But proud he stands, connected.  One with his devices.  He is man and he is confident – legs akimbo with hands on hips waiting patiently for her to emerge from the changing rooms and to see him with renewed eyes.  He feels taller, chin up, eyes bright as lesser men scurry laden with bags disconnected and alone.  But not he, not today.   Today is his day, and tonight he will delight her because he is connected and he feels alive.

Candles, wine, music

Children fast asleep in bed

warm breath on her neck

“Bloody hell you’re scratching me,

now you’ve laddered my stockings!”


Well I guess its something…sorry Japan


Here you go …something different.

Playground – Daily prompt

Ichabod the first

Partner – Daily prompt



photo courtesy of Thorr_deichmann at pixabay

Your lunchtime limerick 13/9/17

Another day another limerick.

A skinny young postman called pat

Who could eat but could never get fat

Pies and cakes, buns and sweets,

vegetables, breads and meats

Had a tapeworm you see, fancy that


Want more stuff?  I have lots of stuff…

Sparrow and Snake #writephoto

Faeries: The long winter

More tea vicar ? 


Image courtesy of  me

Mouse and Cat

The rain had been falling all for days, pitter patter against the window panes of the old farm house. Cat stared out at the grey sky and decided that she would most certainly not be going outside.

The rain had been falling all for days, pitter patter against the window panes of the old farm house.  Cat stared out at the grey sky and decided that he would most certainly not be going outside.   He did not like the rain one little bit, and nothing would shift him – not even the little mouse he could see scurrying about at the edge of the log pile.

The fire crackled as the fat bottomed girl walked past.

“I don’t blame you for not going out “ She said, stroking cat behind the ears, “I’d stay inside if I was you too.”

Cat yawned and stretched himself out on the window ledge as the fat bottomed girl pulled on her coat and wellington boots and headed outside into the rain.  The door banged closed and Cat watched her disappear across the farm yard, past the log pile where mouse hid beneath an old stump and towards the barns where the cows would be huddled together ready to be milked.

Cat closed his eyes listening to the rain and was soon fast asleep.

As Cat slept mouse scurried across the yard from puddle to puddle, making her way between the log pile and the old farm house.  She scuttled up the small tree next to the window behind which cat was now fast asleep, and dropped lightly onto the window sill.

Mouse did so enjoy the rain because she knew full well that cat would not venture outside when the weather was so miserable.  She had once seen cat caught in a downpour and how she had laughed and laughed as cat hurtled back to the farm house, desperate to get inside only to discover that he had been locked out.  What a bedraggled dripping mess he was indeed.

As cat slept, mouse watched Cat closely from the safety of the other side of the window.  Never before had mouse been so close to a cat.

“What a curious creature” mouse said to herself, whiskers twitching.  She pressed her nose up against the glass to get a better look.  “Doesn’t look so scary to me.”

Cat stirred and opened one eye to see mouse staring straight at him.  As the rain fell the large Ginger cat and the small brown mouse stared at each other, neither moving.  Cat’s tail then twitched ever so slightly as mouse wrinkled her nose and then spoke.

“Good morning Cat” she said, but cat could not hear her through the glass and above the noise of the rain.

Cat opened both eyes and sat upright.  Mouse shifted nervously but remained on the window sill, perhaps feeling brave because of the glass that separated them.

Mouse stood up on her hind feet and stared at cat.  “Don’t look so scary to me” she said “I don’t see what all the fuss is about.”

Cat licked his lips and swished his tail, head to one side wondering what this mouse might be saying.  Did she not know who he was, did she not realise that he was rather fond of plump little mice?

Mouse dropped back onto all fours and seemed to parade up and down on the window sill as the rain continued to fall even heavier.

“You don’t scare me cat” mouse shouted, tapping on the glass with a tiny paw.  “this is my farm yard” she insisted and continued to scurry up and down the window sill feeling most brave, stopping only occasionally to pull faces at cat or wiggle her bottom at him.

Cat continued to watch mouse as she paraded up and down in front of him, his tail swishing and his whiskers bristling.  He saw the fat bottomed girl emerge from the milking sheds and head back across the farm yard as the rain began to lessen.  Mouse was so preoccupied that she did not seem to notice.

“That’s it” cat said to himself, “just a little closer”.

The fat bottomed girl was nearly at the door before mouse heard her, the rain now almost stopped.

Cat leapt from the window sill as the door opened, and in a flash mouse realised what was about to happen and darted for the tree next to the window, her heart beating frantically.  As the door opened cat rocketed across the farm house floor, past the crackling fire and out of the door just as mouse reached the foot of the tree.

Mouse knew she had but a moment to get to the log pile, and cat was closing in on her fast.  She skirted a small puddle as cat splashed across the yard heading for her, eyes wide and an intent and savage look on his face.

“Run mouse, run” she shouted to herself “he’s coming!”

Cat leapt through the air, paws outstretched and claws out as mouse lunged into the log pile.  Cat flew into a rather large stump and crashed to the ground, shaking his head.

“I know you’re in there!” he said as mouse crawled deeper into the pile.  “It’s only a matter of time Mrs Mouse” he continued, “you cannot stay in there all day.”

“I’m not scared of you” mouse squeaked, though she most obviously was, but it was starting to rain again and she knew cat would not remain outside long.

As the rain began to fall the fat bottomed girl opened the door and called cat inside, and he raced off to the warmth of the farm house.  As mouse emerged from the log pile, she looked back at the house and saw cat sitting in the window cleaning himself.

“I’m not scared of you cat “ she shouted as she scuttled back to her home, “and I am not afraid of the rain either!”

More stuff perhaps?

Fatties in space – not one for the kiddies

Screw You Haiku 11/9/17

The intergalactic language of tea – Daily Prompt

Mouse and Sparrow

photo courtesy of alexas_fotos@pixaba

RonovanWrites #Weekly #Haiku #Poetry Prompt #Challenge #165 Passion&Play

So the deal is simple.  Write a Haiku and use the words passion and play.

So the deal is simple.  Write a Haiku and use the words passion and play.  

Seductive haiku

use the words passion and play

it might get dirty


I think that’s probably cheating…


Dark passion released

do you want to play a game



hey, it isn’t easy trying to fit erotic asphixiation into a haiku…


Passions smouldering

his phone beeps, its another

don’t play with her heart


I’m sure I can come up with something more pleasant.


All encompassing

his passion knows no limits

plays him for a fool


Seems not eh ;).  Someone else can write about flowers and sweet nothings and maybe easter. 

Fancy something different?

Not a piece about Dr Who – Honest – Sunday Photo Fiction.

Badger and Fox

99 Word Challenge – Sound


RonovanWrites #Weekly #Haiku #Poetry Prompt #Challenge #165 Passion&Play

Your lunchtime limerick 12/9/17

Another day another limerick.

Proof that the limerick form can make sad things less so. 


A chubby young fellow called Giles

Got a rather bad case of the piles

Doc said “Don’t be so glum –

pop this cream in your bum,

’till they’re gone just sit carefully and smile



Want more stuff?  I have lots of stuff…

Sparrow and Snake #writephoto

Faeries: The long winter

More tea vicar ? 


Image courtesy of  me

Screw You Haiku 11/9/17

A little light haiku relief…

Proof that haiku do not always have to be serious…


The life of the clown

by day bringing joy, by night

he’s under your bed


night time toilet trip

lights out, think I saw a clown

run back to bed scared


Long hair and tight jeans

he watches her walk and lusts

bugger, it’s a bloke!


hot tea before bed

up three times throughout the night

Damn old man’s bladder!


One drink after work

woke up in the back garden

bloody sambuca!


More stuff?  Ive tons and tons of stuff!

Jeffrey and Cho – FFFAW Challenge

Lion and Zebra – Daily Prompt – Hidden

Probing – a cautionary tale – Daily prompt



Your lunchtime limerick 11/9/17

Another day another limerick.

Been a bit busy of late so best I can muster is …another lunch time limerick.  Proof that the limerick form can make sad things less so. 


Lovely fellow was left at the alter

loved her still So he just would not fault her

She ran off with her lover

then got aids from another

and then died late last year in Gibralter


Want more stuff?  I have lots of stuff…

Sparrow and Snake #writephoto

Faeries: The long winter

More tea vicar ? 


Image courtesy of  me

Your lunchtime limerick 10/9/17

Another day another limerick.

Another day another lunch time limerick. 


She’s quite gender fluid my gran

so this week she’s being a man

she looks ever so weird

with her moustache and beard

insisting we call her nan Stan


Want more stuff?  I have lots of stuff…

Sparrow and Snake #writephoto

Faeries: The long winter

More tea vicar ? 


Image courtesy of  me

Your lunchtime limerick 9/9/17

Another day another limerick.

Another day another lunch time limerick. 


A cheeky young lass from Djabouti

buxom, curvaceous, such beauty

she was caught in the park

with a ginger lad, mark

who brought sausage and whipped cream, so fruity!


Want more stuff?  I have lots of stuff…

Sparrow and Snake #writephoto

Faeries: The long winter

More tea vicar ? 


Image courtesy of  pixabay

Colleen’s Weekly #Poetry Challenge No. 49 #Haiku #Tanka #Haibun: Soar & Wait

A couple of Haiku in response to Colleen’s weekly challenge

I think just a few haiku this week…


Eagles soar above

young chicks wait with hungry mouths

blood covered talons


Perhaps Ill try another with a different spelling…


Gall stones killing me

Sore?  it’s bloody agony

overweight you see



More limericks about sad things

Haiku Challenge – Hope and Stay

The intergalactic language of tea – Daily Prompt



Your lunchtime limerick 8/9/17

Another day another limerick.

Another day another limerick.  True story and so sad but see how the limerick form makes it just a little less sombre…



A chap’s lovely young bride named Jane

had a tumor alas in her brain

she died, you can tell

he’d insured her quite well

bought a quite lovely villa in Spain


Want more stuff?  I have lots of stuff…

Sparrow and Snake #writephoto

Faeries: The long winter

More tea vicar ? 


Image courtesy of  pixabay

Your lunchtime limerick 7/9/17

Looks like lunch time limerick has become a thing…sorry.

What shall we look at today…hmmm


A church going chap who loved learning

one day felt a rather strong yearning

he’d enjoyed fifty shades

now feels wholly depraved

and wakes up every day with loins burning


Want more stuff?  I have lots of stuff…

Sparrow and Snake #writephoto

Faeries: The long winter

More tea vicar ? 


Image courtesy of  pixabay

Deep and insightfully insightfulnessness

Today’s blog introduces my new section, Ask Michael.

Seems that there are lots of blogs offering advice and inspiration so today I thought that I would perhaps try my hand at something a little different.   I have read a lot of the blogs out there so think maybe I might have the knack.

Life not what you thought it would be?  

How about…”All good things come to those who wait.”  Ooh,  how about “Life is what you make of it.”

Now you could sit around waiting for something wonderful though I would suggest you ask yourself if it really is that bad.  Okay, so maybe you’re one of those poor folk with a face full of flies and a sticky out belly button and is born into abject poverty and would prefer a loaf of bread over a fridge magnet quote but given that you are reading this, probably on a mobile phone, then I don’t think you’re one of them.

I imagine you have very few, if any, flies on your face and you probably have Amazon Prime Video and enjoy regular baths.  Maybe it could be better if you had NetFlix, but perhaps  just be grateful for what you have and keep working to try and improve yourself and your life and those around you because it could be a damn site worse and you could be wearing underpants that you got from a Lithuanian charity.

Feeling like a failure?  

Why not hang out with urine drenched homeless people and crack addled prostitutes for an afternoon?  You’ll feel so much better about yourself in to time, and will have a new found appreciation for the meagre amount you have achieved in life.  That is assuming they don’t rob you and steal your clothes and use you as a sexual plaything in a bus station toilet.

Lost your faith?

It will be fine I promise, in fact I would suggest you get out to the pub with a few mates and have some cocktails and shots and do some karaoke.  Chances are that whatever your faith strippers and flaming sambucas are on the do to list so enjoy it while you can.

You can always go back when you hit rock bottom, or at Christmas or on the day of the holy monkey god ascension day or whatever it is people go for these days.  We all know how much people of faith love welcoming back a lost soul, so they will probably have a barbecue for you, which would be lovely I am sure.

Let’s finish on a couple of things you could turn into motivational weight related fridge magnets shall we? 

I may have fat armpits, but at least I do not look like I have aids.

I beat anorexia!

I smell like pies because it makes me feel sexy.

That’s just a sample of my wisdom, and you’re feeling better now I imagine.  Not bad for a first attempt I reckon.  As you can see I am all heart and am here to share your pain.  

Feel free to leave a comment and I will happily advise you how to fix your life.

Fancy reading something else?

Ichabod the first

Badger and Fox

More miserable and inappropriate limericks – Not for the kiddies

Photo courtesy of Geralt@pixabay

Your lunchtime limerick 6/9/17

Looks like lunch time limerick has become a thing…sorry.

Yes, it is that time again…


A virginal groom of low worth

just 5 inches, got married in Perth

wedding night, all revealed

with delight his bride sqeualed

was not length that he’d measured but girth


Want more stuff?  I have lots of stuff…

Sparrow and Snake #writephoto

Faeries: The long winter

More tea vicar ? 


Image courtesy of  pixabay

Frog and Toad

Mr Toad watched Mrs Frog hop over to him.  “How delightful” he thought to himself. 

“Good morning Toad” mumbled Mrs Frog with a mouthful of the rather delicious fly which she had happened upon, “how are you this morning?”

Toad shuffled alongside the pond and looked across to where Mrs Frog sat on her lily pad eating.  “Good morning Mrs Frog” he replied and croaked, “you look well.”

Mrs Frog finished her fly before replying.  “Indeed I am Mr Toad, thank you ” she replied “the water is cool and the flies are plentiful.”

“Good good” Toad continued, his dark eyes blinking as he scanned the ground for juicy worms.  “it looks like another lovely day.”

“Oh most certainly ” said Mrs Frog.  He was a handsome Toad indeed she thought to herself.  “Would you like to join me for some breakfast?” she asked smiling.

“Breakfast?” Toad replied looking somewhat confused.  “Breakfast with a frog?”

Mrs Frog laughed.  “Mr Toad, we are not so different you and I, and it is only a spot of breakfast.”

Mr Toad was rather taken aback by the offer, he had never had breakfast with a Frog before.  “I see” he replied, “I would then very much enjoy that.”

Mrs Frog jumped from her lily pad with a splash and soon hopped out of the pond to join him.  Up close he was even more impressive, with his large round body, strong thick legs and such dry and bumpy skin.

Mr Toad watched Mrs Frog hop over to him.  “How delightful” he thought to himself.

As Mr toad shuffled Mrs Frog hopped alongside, and they travelled together around the edge of the pond chatting, stopping occasionally to gobble a fly or share a juicy worm.  Occasionally Mrs Frog would pop back into the pond for a quick dip before joining him again.

And so Mrs Frog and Mr Toad spent the morning together, and breakfast became lunch and lunch became supper.  When the end of the day came Mrs Frog slipped back into the pond and Mr Toad walked off slowly back to his log.

“Same time tomorrow?” shouted Mrs Frog as she watched him walking away slowly, her heart racing just a little faster.

“Oh no I cannot” replied Mr Toad, “Tomorrow I have promised Mrs Toad that I will remain home and tend to the young toads, and I do not think she will approve.”

Mrs Frog’s heart sank.

Toad spoke once more, but Mrs Frog had disappeared below the surface of the pond and did not hear him.

“Unless of course I could perhaps pop around once they are all asleep?” he shouted.


Want more stuff?  I have plenty of stuff.

The joy of saying stupid things 1.

Not a piece about Dr Who – Honest – Sunday Photo Fiction.

Mouse and Sparrow


Photo courtesy of Josch13@pixabay

More and more limericks

I am going to have to admit that I love writing these.  Today I think I shall write about terrible things that happen to good people.

I am going to have to admit that I love writing these.  Today I think I shall write about terrible things that happen to good people.

A woman that I work with a Saint

broke her spine when she slipped on some paint

She’s bed ridden and blue

Her hub said he’d be true

now he’s doing her mum, so he aint.


My friend had a wife quite divine

got addicted to cake, crack and wine

really let herself go

and her bottom did grow

only 30 but looks fifty nine


An arab chap born in Kuwait

stole the hub of a really good mate

it was all quite a mess

he looked good in a dress

now they’re married, he calls himself Kate


My sister got hammered one night

with her boyfriend got into a fight

so she stayed out real late

and then slept with his mate

now she’s single again, such delight


4.  I like doing 4.

Want something different?

Playground – Daily prompt

We unlikely few – An Armitage tangent

Probing – a cautionary tale – Daily prompt



The end of times

J pulled his bedding up around his ears and refused to get out of bed.  “No” he insisted, only his eyes showing above the blanket “tell dad that I’m unwell or something but I just can’t face it today.”

J pulled his bedding up around his ears and refused to get out of bed.  “No” he insisted, only his eyes showing above the blanket “tell dad that I’m unwell or something but I just can’t face it today.”

Mo scratched his head and laughed “Bro, he will kill you you can’t miss this” he said “it’s the end of days – it’s a big deal.”  He tugged at the edge of the blanket, “come on, seriously, he will go mad.”

J resisted but knew it was pointless, dad always got his way.  “What am I even supposed to wear?” he snapped,  sitting up in bed and rubbing his eyes. “Has he said what he wants me to wear?”

Mo smiled and threw him a robe.  “Same as usual J, you know that now stop being such a baby. Anyway, it might be fun, he has all sorts of crazy stuff planned.”

“Probably better than giving cancer to babies I suppose” he snapped, “that gets a bit old after a while? ”

“Come on, we’re going to be late” Mo said pulling back the blankets from the bed.

“Fine, fine” J said getting out of bed and pulling on his robe.  He ran his fingers through his long dark hair and took a drink from a small cup next to his bed.  “So is he sticking to the stuff they’re expecting or does he have something else planned?”

“Mostly the same” Mo replied, “But he has managed to rope Lucifer and some of his mates in for some sort of big finale.”

“Oh super” J replied, “they’re a right bunch of arses, why are they involved?”

“Dad reckons that he needs to shake things up a bit and get them back in line” Mo said “apparently they’re getting a bit too unruly and there are way too many of them they’re really screwing things up.”

J adjusted his robes and pulled his belt tight.  “What has he got planned for you?” he asked.

“Same as usual mate” he said “mostly whole sale irrational panic and paranoia and he wants me to be in charge of plagues.”

“Plagues, no way man I always get plagues why has he given you those?”

Mo headed towards the door.  “Apparently he wants you on apparitions” he said, he knew how much J loved plagues.

“i tell you what” J said, visibly angry “i bloody hate apparitions and visitations – all those good looking women and all I get to do is terrify them.  Have you seen me?” he asked holding out his hands, “I have awesome hair you have to admit.  I should be getting so many of them but no, dad reckons we shouldn’t mix”.

“Hey, I hate this as much as you do you know that” Mo said calmly, “we both know this whole thing was a huge mistake that got out of hand but we had to control them somehow.”

J sighed, he knew it was their job but sometimes he wished it was just a bit more interesting.  “I just can’t wait until it’s all over and we can get rid of them and just bring the family down.”

Mo placed a hand on J’s shoulder.  “Not long now mate” he said reassuringly, “and until then let’s just try enjoy it eh – apparently he has something lined up with that Donald chap and the pudgy faced lad, said it will be a right laugh”

For more of this sort of thing you can take a look here

Footprints – An AFA Challenge

Fences – FFfAW Challenge – 11th of July

I don’t have a dog called Caper – Daily prompt







Photo courtesy of intographics @ pixabay

Get well soon limericks 

Get well soon.

To round off a day of mostly limericks one last post.  Inspired by a comment by a reader at http://www.poetrummager.com who suggested limericks could replace traditional get well soon message. Thank you ! 


An infected promiscuous mate

Got aids from a lass on a date 

He was once much much bigger 

But now has a nice figure 

Since infected he’s lost loads of weight 


I saw your dad this afternoon 

Heard your  stomach looks like a balloon 

And your bottom has leaked 

But your temperature peaked 

So I hope that you’ll feel better soon 


Your mum said you just been for tests 

For a lump that you found in your breast

Lets hope its not bad

Cos that happened to dad 

And just after we laid him to rest 


I saw your dad at the garage 

said your scrotum is swollen quite large 

Since you went to Bangkok 

I bet it was a shock 

When you saw the quite nasty discharge.


Right…that’s a lot of posts for one day, see you tomorrow perhaps.

Photo couryesy of Typographyimages@pixabay

A quite accidental beard.

A piece on beard growing and there is also a reference to a 3 way with the Clintons.

it seems that I have, quite by accident, grown a beard.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe it miraculously sprung up overnight, that would be silly, but I think it might have been sneaking up on me slowly over the last week or two whilst I have languished and enjoyed a fortnight’s holiday.

Alas though it is not a bear of much note.  It is not a magnificent shag of a thing – full and glistening and well oiled.  It is not styled or quaffed to accentuate my jawline nor is it the type that one might wear accompanied by the type of shirt a lumberjack may prefer.

No, it is none of these things and it does not in any way make me look trendy, sophisticated, well travelled or likely to be found sipping a rather pleasant coffee somewhere with free wi-fi.

It is instead a scratch homeless person affair which serves only to make me look like an ageing alcoholic with an aversion to bathing.

Year round, I am smooth cheeked and shaven headed for the most part and in fact I am usually rather thuggish looking in my appearance given the combination of the skin head and my tattoos.  If I was to characterise my looks as a political party, then I would most certainly be Donald Trump’s right leaning Republicans.

It worsens though, because in addition to the accidental beard I also seem to have somehow acquired a ludicrous unintentional mop of hair curly hair to accompany it.  So much of a surprise is it that I do not recall how I styled my hair when I was last in possession of any.

If my previous self was to be imagined as a statue-protecting-bed-sheet-wearing Republican then my current self is more likely to be caught in a very dirty pot fuelled three way with Bill and Hilary Clinton.

So what to do?  I think I shall ponder my accidental beard and the accompanying unintentional hair and let you know what i decide to do, because the wife says she rather likes it.

Want to read more of my stuff?  No.  Don’t blame you, no offence taken.





Photo courtesy of Pexals @ pixabau

On placing veg in your bottom.

This just slipped out…next post will be more grown up promise

A chap from school who Id forgotten 

got a vegetable lodged in his bottom 

But he chose to do nowt

And it simply dripped out 

A week later when it had gone rotten 


OK…thats enough posts for today.  Just needed to get that out before I forgot it. Seem to be on a roll.

Hotel haiku

just a few thoughts before I start the day

Just a few thoughts on the hotel before we head out and see what the day has to hold.

Other peoples kids 

Drunkards bouncing down the hall

Flatulent neighbours 


Four people one room 

A night time cocophony 

Really need a nap 


Lying  in my bed 

Inches from another soul 

In another room 


Please shut your kids up 

Next time we go up market 

Tired and grumpy 

Right…im off for an ice cream and to dip my toes in the icy north sea.  I will let you know how it goes.

Just one more post…

I have wanted to use the words “throbbing” and “Angela Merkel” in the same piece for some time. To be honest I would probably not bother reading this…

I can’t always muster anything too long when typing on my phone as its far too tricky but Im still awake and seems sleep is some way off.

 It is half past midnight and I am in the Premier Inn in Scarborough with the wife and kids and the cocophony of the blissful sleep of others means that you get one more post.  Pretty place Scarbrough.  I wrote a post or two back why I am awake.

Anyway…my point was that I think I will just wrote one more piece.  Perhaps something dirty about Donald trump and Angela Merkel.


Why? Since when did why matter? 

How electric was her touch 

proud Donald thought on meeting 

He felt a stirring down below 

As the Fraulein he was greeting 


His mind it raced, perfume he smelled 

So buxom quite devine 

Strong back big hands delicious chins 

He craved her “she’ll be mine!”


His mind it wandered, pulse it raced 

He hungered for her touch 

His little hands they craved to feel 

Her German curves so much 


Unable to control his needs

 he turns Away from twitter 

And sneaks away to please himself 

Whilst hiding in the shitter.


“Oh Angela” he cries aloud 

and dwells upon a kiss 

Trousers round his ankles

Face contorted in pure bliss 

OK I think I am going to bed this is just getting weird now. 

Photo courtesy of 3dman_eu@pixabay

I tried to say goodbye.

Proof that a dog is indeed mans best friend

Word prompt :  I tried to say goodbye – written in response to Michelle’s prompt at her sites Putting My Feet in the Dirt & Her Writing Haven.  

I tried to say goodbye today

But you wagged your tail and barked 

And followed me as I set off 

And chased me through the park


So back I walked and took you home

This time I would ensure 

the wife who I’d left home in bed

Would all the gates secure 


“You’ll not believe just who got out!”

I shout and summarise 

The story of our dogs escape 

But oh to my surprise…


It seems my pooch has helped me out 

My wife is not alone 

It seems he’s not the only one 

Who rather loves a bone.


I have neither a dog nor a promiscuous wife by the way, just in case you wondered.  🙂