Tag: poetry

A limerick because it’s thursday

Old school with nothing weird…kinda…sorta…

Once a man with legs crooked and bowed

staggered drunk late one night down the road

when he started to vomit

got flung over a bonnet

and a semi squished him like a toad

Well I dont know where that came from but it’s somethign I guess.  It’s only a dodgy limerick after all, not like Im out luring kids into vans with puppies and sweets.

 

 

 

Oh those yummy dirty bits

A poem. About bits. Of stuff.

There are those who will dine

on fine foods and great wine

and who want just the finest of treats

But not me, no, no way

I’m quite proud when I say

Im a fan of the less refined meats

 

Give me Pies filled with heart

though it does make me fart

give me puddings of tripe, brains and balls

though it makes me quite gassy

I can still keep it classy

and with gravy for sure eat it all

 

Give me chicken arse flan

I’m not bothered with ham

give me dishes pile high with pig scrotum

I’ve this recipe for stew

with the balls of gnu

and some others, so good,  ‘cos I wrote ’em

 

Oh I cannot resist

the dark meats on my list

how i crave juicy brains, spine and liver

feed me pies filled with wings

of all high flying things

lick my lips in delight how I shiver

 

Dont cast doubt or dispute

nature’s leftover fruit

say ‘perhaps’ if your offered intestines

you might just take delight

at each savoury bite

as you wash it down with rich red house wines

 

Let the limericks flow

Poor him. poor hobo. Poor you.

A young fellow who’d never been kissed

Felt aggrieved at the things he had missed

So went out on the town

A few shots he drank down

Humped a tramp n got aids rather pissed

_______________________

Okay so I realize that escalated rather quickly. Limericks have a way of doing that though. Lines one to four flow just fine and before you know it this poor virgins giving hand jobs to homeless people under a bridge.

And all he wanted was some love.

Dirty bugger

🙂

Fatties in Space – Part 5

I missed them so they’re back for another brief outing. as a prelude to something else.

Part 1 is here, Part 2 can be found here and part 3 is right here. Oh and here is part 4…

It’s best to read those first if you like poems and such about fat people shagging in space. Yes I know that’s not a real thing but its just a bit of fun. Use your imagination. 🙂

Time advances, desire, smoulders where once was fire

and our couple are settled, content

And theyre into a groove, life, careers on the move

at they end of their day both feel spent

And they slip into bed, where once passions burned red

a nice book, cup of tea, striped pj’s

And he turns, to suggest, and caresses her breast

but alas now asleep, snores away

And he gives her a nudge says “I ain’t packed your fudge,

sixty nined or devoured you for weeks.

Ive not sampled your breasts dumped my load on your chest

left hand marks on your plump bottom cheeks”

She insists thats it’s fine, they’ve just not had the time

but tomorrow for sure, it’s a date

so he lies in the dark seems they’ve just lost their spark

rubs one out as he just cannot wait

Then he ponders their lot, wonders how they’ve forgot

the wild nights here on earth and in space

and he vows to do better, make his heart’s true love wetter

falls asleep as he caresses her face

A limerick about Aquaman

Sploosh!

Once a lass who loved marvel most dearly

And insisted “beats dc quite clearly!”

Loves them now though i bet

Aquamam got her wet

Made her sploosh as she writhed quite severely

Wrote that one for the wife and her friends who have a film club and who normally enjoy highbrow kind of stuff and the good romcom but recently felt that they would rather enjoy Aquaman. For a bit of a change u know.

Funny they weren’t fussed about superhero stuff before.