Your lunchtime limerick 13/9/17

Another day another limerick.

A skinny young postman called pat

Who could eat but could never get fat

Pies and cakes, buns and sweets,

vegetables, breads and meats

Had a tapeworm you see, fancy that

 


Want more stuff?  I have lots of stuff…

Sparrow and Snake #writephoto

Faeries: The long winter

More tea vicar ? 

 

Image courtesy of  me

Your lunchtime limerick 12/9/17

Another day another limerick.

Proof that the limerick form can make sad things less so. 

 

A chubby young fellow called Giles

Got a rather bad case of the piles

Doc said “Don’t be so glum –

pop this cream in your bum,

’till they’re gone just sit carefully and smile

 

 


Want more stuff?  I have lots of stuff…

Sparrow and Snake #writephoto

Faeries: The long winter

More tea vicar ? 

 

Image courtesy of  me

Screw You Haiku 11/9/17

A little light haiku relief…

Proof that haiku do not always have to be serious…

 

The life of the clown

by day bringing joy, by night

he’s under your bed

 

night time toilet trip

lights out, think I saw a clown

run back to bed scared

 

Long hair and tight jeans

he watches her walk and lusts

bugger, it’s a bloke!

 

hot tea before bed

up three times throughout the night

Damn old man’s bladder!

 

One drink after work

woke up in the back garden

bloody sambuca!

 


More stuff?  Ive tons and tons of stuff!

Jeffrey and Cho – FFFAW Challenge

Lion and Zebra – Daily Prompt – Hidden

Probing – a cautionary tale – Daily prompt

 

 

Your lunchtime limerick 11/9/17

Another day another limerick.

Been a bit busy of late so best I can muster is …another lunch time limerick.  Proof that the limerick form can make sad things less so. 

 

Lovely fellow was left at the alter

loved her still So he just would not fault her

She ran off with her lover

then got aids from another

and then died late last year in Gibralter

 


Want more stuff?  I have lots of stuff…

Sparrow and Snake #writephoto

Faeries: The long winter

More tea vicar ? 

 

Image courtesy of  me

Your lunchtime limerick 10/9/17

Another day another limerick.

Another day another lunch time limerick. 

 

She’s quite gender fluid my gran

so this week she’s being a man

she looks ever so weird

with her moustache and beard

insisting we call her nan Stan

 


Want more stuff?  I have lots of stuff…

Sparrow and Snake #writephoto

Faeries: The long winter

More tea vicar ? 

 

Image courtesy of  me

Your lunchtime limerick 9/9/17

Another day another limerick.

Another day another lunch time limerick. 

 

A cheeky young lass from Djabouti

buxom, curvaceous, such beauty

she was caught in the park

with a ginger lad, mark

who brought sausage and whipped cream, so fruity!

 


Want more stuff?  I have lots of stuff…

Sparrow and Snake #writephoto

Faeries: The long winter

More tea vicar ? 

 

Image courtesy of  pixabay

Colleen’s Weekly #Poetry Challenge No. 49 #Haiku #Tanka #Haibun: Soar & Wait

A couple of Haiku in response to Colleen’s weekly challenge

I think just a few haiku this week…

 

Eagles soar above

young chicks wait with hungry mouths

blood covered talons

 


Perhaps Ill try another with a different spelling…

 

Gall stones killing me

Sore?  it’s bloody agony

overweight you see

 


More?

More limericks about sad things

Haiku Challenge – Hope and Stay

The intergalactic language of tea – Daily Prompt

 


https://colleenchesebro.com/2017/09/05/colleens-weekly-poetry-challenge-no-49-haiku-tanka-haibun-soar-wait/

Your lunchtime limerick 8/9/17

Another day another limerick.

Another day another limerick.  True story and so sad but see how the limerick form makes it just a little less sombre…

 

 

A chap’s lovely young bride named Jane

had a tumor alas in her brain

she died, you can tell

he’d insured her quite well

bought a quite lovely villa in Spain

 


Want more stuff?  I have lots of stuff…

Sparrow and Snake #writephoto

Faeries: The long winter

More tea vicar ? 

 

Image courtesy of  pixabay

Your lunchtime limerick 7/9/17

Looks like lunch time limerick has become a thing…sorry.

What shall we look at today…hmmm

 

A church going chap who loved learning

one day felt a rather strong yearning

he’d enjoyed fifty shades

now feels wholly depraved

and wakes up every day with loins burning

 


Want more stuff?  I have lots of stuff…

Sparrow and Snake #writephoto

Faeries: The long winter

More tea vicar ? 

 

Image courtesy of  pixabay

Your lunchtime limerick 6/9/17

Looks like lunch time limerick has become a thing…sorry.

Yes, it is that time again…

 

A virginal groom of low worth

just 5 inches, got married in Perth

wedding night, all revealed

with delight his bride sqeualed

was not length that he’d measured but girth

 


Want more stuff?  I have lots of stuff…

Sparrow and Snake #writephoto

Faeries: The long winter

More tea vicar ? 

 

Image courtesy of  pixabay

More and more limericks

I am going to have to admit that I love writing these.  Today I think I shall write about terrible things that happen to good people.

I am going to have to admit that I love writing these.  Today I think I shall write about terrible things that happen to good people.


A woman that I work with a Saint

broke her spine when she slipped on some paint

She’s bed ridden and blue

Her hub said he’d be true

now he’s doing her mum, so he aint.

 

My friend had a wife quite divine

got addicted to cake, crack and wine

really let herself go

and her bottom did grow

only 30 but looks fifty nine

 

An arab chap born in Kuwait

stole the hub of a really good mate

it was all quite a mess

he looked good in a dress

now they’re married, he calls himself Kate

 

My sister got hammered one night

with her boyfriend got into a fight

so she stayed out real late

and then slept with his mate

now she’s single again, such delight

 


4.  I like doing 4.

Want something different?

Playground – Daily prompt

We unlikely few – An Armitage tangent

Probing – a cautionary tale – Daily prompt

 

 

Haiku Horizons prompt: “Taste”

A haiku challenge on the matter of “taste”

A few scribbles in response to the haiku challenge found at the link below.

https://haikuhorizons.wordpress.com/2017/08/20/haiku-horizons-prompt-taste/

 
Fighting with the wife

Me: “You’ve awful taste ! She:

“Yeah I married you!”

 
Lets try another…

 
Just a tiny taste

Maybe just one more mouth full 

whole cake devoured

 
And one last one

 
First stolen kisses

The taste of her lips on mine

Oh god a smoker

  

Fancy More?

Pesky butterflies – Weekly Weather Challenge: Hurricane

Badger and Fox

Ichabod the first

More limericks about sad things

my quest to determine whether a limerick can make the most horrid subject a little less so…

my quest to determine whether a limerick can make the most horrid subject a little less so…

 


I fellow I know, a romancer

lovely wife, healthy kids and great dancer

had it all so he thought

but it all came to nought

when he died really young of brain cancer


These Twins at birth were separated

who later in life met and dated

they had kids, sad to say

hip conjoined by the way

now in freak show they’re quite celebrated


“You’re adopted” says father to son

“and I’ve just had a chat to your mum

It’s just not working out

we don’t want you about

this parenting lark’s just no fun.”


 

Want to read more of my stuff?

This is kinda funny

and this kind of sad

This was just fun

 

Screw you haiku Vol 4

Crude, infantile and fun to write.  Gotta be better than what’s going on in the world right?

Crude, infantile and fun to write.  Gotta be better than what’s going on in the world right?


Cannibals in love

“How do you feel about kids?”

“can’t eat a whole one”


First day of diet

Accidental carrot cake

I’ll start tomorrow


Spicy curry night

poppadoms and spicy dip

explosive repeats


miles from a toilet

buttocks clenched eyes watering

oh look a turtle!


having a fiddle

mood gone, discovered a lump

testicle lopped off


Want to read more of my stuff?  It’s not all like that promise…

A story about a girl

Some sci fi

and something for the kids


Https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/spicy/

Haiku Challenge – Hope and Stay

Ronovan’s weekly haiku challenge – Hope and Stay

Let’s start with a haiku or two shall shall we.  The rules do let me play with synonyms which I might explore too.


In my heart you’ll stay

you drift into the darkness

hope of afterlife

 

seems a bit serious..

walked her home tonight

Invited in for coffee

hope she lets me stay

 

another maybe

 

husband caught, hope lost

empty promises to change

if you let him stay

 

All very serious…maybe a Tanka

See Maurice eating

watch him gorge on cheese in bed

eats cake in the night

Where can he get new trousers

ones with the elastic waist

 

Hmmm….not really feeling it. 

 


These ones we kind of funny if you fancy more

 


https://ronovanwrites.com/2017/08/14/ronovanwrites-weekly-haiku-poetry-prompt-challenge-162-hopestay/

My Donald limerick

Not had time to write today, so here’s a quick Donald limerick.

A day in the life of the Donald in limerick form.  

l am not particularly interested in politics at all but as far

as reasons to write the golden haired golf playing POTUS

is certainly good value for money.  

 


Oh Donald with golden hair you

must wake up with so much to do

But you sit on the shitter

Posting rantings to twitter

Like some mad man who’s been sniffing glue

 

This morning you’ll take on the press

Fake News!” blah blah blah…what a mess

And your staff organise

cover ups of your lies

but we know that you couldn’t care less

 

Then a snack and nap if you can

While you dream up your next foolish plan

“Build a wall!” hear him scream

as he wakes from a dream

Then he bans anyone with a tan.

 

Now it’s time to try sort out the health

care bill as its wasting the wealth

Of the rich on the frail

And the people who ail

If you can’t then you’ll kill it through stealth
Now some lunch as it’s been go go go

Then there’s pussy to grab don’t you know

“When you’re rich, don’t you see

It is pretty much free

And the women will never say no!”

 

After Lunch its some golf with your chums

As your right wing pals get out their guns

Pillow case on their heads

Wrapped in sheets from their beds

Picking fights with the cross lefty mums

 

For the rest of the day you’ll be rooting

For your very good friend Vlad the Putin

As he wrestles with bears

punches babies and hares

and gives puppies a right proper booting

 

Then pre dinner you’ll probably fire

Some fellow you’d chosen to hire

Just this morning “but hey

they’ve been here like a day

that’s the price for provoking my ire!”
After Dinner its time for some more

planning your own major war

just like George dubya Bush

(Who you secretly crush)

And whö’s father you really adore

 

Then tucked up in bed as you’ve been

Working hard at just not-being-green

The planet you’ll slaughter

you dream of your daughter

And of making Ang Merkel your queen


 

Fancy something else?

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/03/first-blog-post/

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/14/we-unlikely-few/

 


Photo courtesy of Haft

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/organize/

 

eh7@pixabay

Ooh look at me being all topical!

Topical, insightful an getting to the heart of the subjects that really matter

If you’ve read any of me then you may well know I like to dabble in inappropriate haiku and limericks.  I know some of the subject matter is a little awkward but work with me…now and then I stumble upon one that’s actually quite good.

Michael

 

A few limericks to start…

Kim-Jun and Donald so hot

For each other though they insist not

But I reckon they would

If only they could

Not get caught making love high on pot

 

Single dad collects guns for a hobby

Had a son known as Bob, Rob or Robbie

But alas now he’s dead

Fatal shot to the head

From a gun he found primed in the lobby

 

Poverty, nukes, death and drought

Why leave home, I am not going out

At TV I sit glaring 

but I’m really past caring

Time for curry in bed with a stout

 

African crisis I never

have seen such despair no not ever

Drought, pain loss, Civil War

HIV, death and more

But hey, least they’ve got lovely weather

 

And a few haiku for good measure…

 

Eighteen convicted

North East children now safer

Pretty prison mouths

 

Head down crossed the road

He never saw it coming

Bus grill needs cleaning


 

More?  Try this or this

Photo courtesy of pixabay


https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/glaring/